Cool Photo Trick

You know how they have those cool looking photos where the whole picture is in black and white and just a little part is in color? Well, I always wondered how to do it. After playing around with PaintShop Pro 8, I finally cracked this case.

First, start off with a photo. I chose this one:
















Open this photo in Paint Shop.

Next, go to your tool bar, click on "edit" then "copy" the photo and paste to PaintShop as a "new image."

On the new image, go to the tool bar in PaintShop and click on "colors" then "grayscale." This will change the image to a black and white photo, like this:
















Once you have your black and white photo, click on "edit" then copy this black and white photo and paste it on your original as a "new layer."

Now you will have 2 layers on your original, the top being the black and white image. Now comes the fun part.

Go to your tools and click on the "eraser brush." Pick a size and shape brush which will fit your needs. Now, on the black and white layer, simply erase over the parts where you would like the color to come through. On my photo, I picked the butterfly and the flower. After you are finished erasing, you will have a new picture, like this:
















Now, in your layers palette, right-click on one of the layers and then click "merge" then "merge visible." This will merge both layers of your photo into one layer. Now you can save your new photo. Pretty cool, huh.

Just thought I'd share that little trick with you. Have fun!

Crikey

When I heard that The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, died, I thought it must have been because of a snake or a crocodile or some other poisonous or big, dangerous animal. I never thought it would be a stingray. Stingrays are generally placid animals, only using their poisonous tail barbs in self-defense, and deaths caused by them are very rare. It was a freak accident that it happened, being that the stingray was not being provoked by Irwin in any way. I read reports that the ray may have felt trapped between the camera man and Irwin, and that is why it attacked...although "attacked" is a poor choice of wording since it didn't maliciously attack him. You can't blame the stingray and you can't blame Steve Irwin, for he wasn't provoking the stingray. It was just an unfortunate accident. One of those freak things that just happens. Like when my cousin Ray was killed by a Ditch Witch while he was working on his vineyard. You don't expect it. It just happens. I just feel so sad for his family. It was just a sad day all around. I really was shocked when I heard it happened.

Well, the long weekend is gone and it feels like a Monday, even though it is Tuesday. I didn't do anything over the weekend. Just stayed at home and played around with my Paintshop Pro program. Digital Scrapbooking is SOOOO freakin' addictive. I was making stuff all weekend - lol. I did take time out yesterday to hang out by the pool with my mom and brother. My bro wanted to come over to my apartment so he could use the pool. So my bro went for a swim and my mom and I just put our feet in the water cuz lord knows no one would want to see my whiter-than-white legs. They could blind a person! Seriously. If you see my legs coming, look away. Or at least wear sunglasses. You have been warned.

Speaking of my brother, he freaked me out the other night. Well, not in person. I had a dream the other night where I was in bed and trying to fall asleep. A dream about trying to fall asleep....it's getting weird already - lol. Anyway, in my dream I am trying to fall asleep but keep hearing something moving around. I open my eyes and I can see some vague shape moving around in the dark. I close my eyes again. The sound gets closer. I open my eyes and there is my brother, staring at me, his face just inches from mine. I wake up. Weird enough so far.

It gets weirder.

You know how when you look at something for long enough and then look away, you can still see the outline of it? Like this optical illusion, for example...



If you look at this picture for like 20 seconds and then look away, you see a face, right? Well, when I woke up from my dream, that is what I saw....my brother's face. It was so freaky!!! I had a hard time falling back asleep after that. I always knew my brother was a freak, but c'mon!!

It was just plain weird!

The new season of House premieres tonight. So you know where I will be. hehe. And then after House, there is a new episode of Dirty Jobs on The Discovery Channel (at 9 pm). My 2 favorite TV men on back-2-back. What more could I want?

Well, a caramel frappuccino would be nice.

Phobia of The Day

Emetophobia: fear of vomiting

Random Fact of The Day

Rats cannot vomit.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Larry and Suzanne Tingley sent in an article from the Watertown (New York) Daily Times stating that the Lewis County Board of Legislators had authorized the creation of a petty cash fund 'for the weekly purchase of dry ice, used for incest control."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Some people collect stamps as a hobby...others, felonies.)

New York City man arrested 100th time

QUEENSBURY, N.Y. - A New York City man has been arrested for the 100th time.

Officials with the Warren County Sheriff's Department in eastern New York said they found Anthony Love, 40, of Brooklyn with $1,300 worth of merchandise stolen from outlet stores in his car.

He had 99 prior arrests, including several for violent felonies. "We were number 100 for him," Sheriff's Sgt. James LaFarr said.

Love was charged with fourth-degree criminal possession of stolen property, a felony, and possession of an anti-security item, a misdemeanor.

Police said Love had a device that disables security tags.

___

Information from: The Post-Star, http://www.poststar.com

New Digi Scrapbook Layout

This is my first official digital scrapbook layout. It took a while, but I did it. I made all of the elements myself (well, not the fonts - I used the fonts "Happy Happy Joy Joy" and "Hey Gorgeous"). It turned out rather cute if I don't say so myself. I will be posting more as I complete them.

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I almost forgot

I took the next two pictures in San Francisco last weekend. Just some random people walking down the streets in San Francisco. Sometimes the best entertainment is free ;)

This dude apparently REALLY likes Kermit the Frog. Sometimes it is just better to not ask questions.
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This dude was painted in gold from head to toe - even his shoes and briefcase - I wonder where he was going??? Things that make you go hmmmm.
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The ...yawn....VMA's

Where are Britney and Madonna when you need them?

Now that is something I NEVER would have caught myself asking. But after watching the VMA's last night, that is what I was thinking.

I watched the VMA Awards last night, only because there was nothing else on tv. And, much to my unsurprise, it was boring (yawn). Not only that: it sucked! Shakira, one of the worst singers in the world, performed, and even with all her hip-shaking, it was still lame. That woman cannot sing! She was plain horrible. She is better at dancing. People like her, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline should just put down the microphone and dance. If you're a better singer than dancer, then sing. If you're a better dancer than a singer, then dance for goodness sake, and don't subject our ears to your pitiful wailing.

The Pussycat Dolls (another group I absolutely cannot stand) won the award for best dance video (or some crap like that). They made a speech which was about as long as their song. It is not a Grammy, people. It is a VMA....one of the least prestigious awards out there. Just say thanks and exit the stage. Don't make some long-ass speech thanking everyone and their mother for inspiration, courage, and yadda yadda yadda.

Jack Black, a man who I normally think is funny, hosted the show, but even he could not breathe life into the dull performances and long-boring speeches. Nowadays, when everything is politically-correct and every network lives in fear of the FCC, we all have to endure award shows which offer no surprises, no controversy and little or no humor.

I hate the VMA's because I like hard rock music and lord knows MTV only plays pop and hip hop on their channel. Where did Headbanger's Ball go?? I want that show back. I remember when MTV actually played music, and not these lame-ass shows like Laguna Beach, Next, My Super Sweet Sixteen, and The Hills. They really should change their name to LTV (Lame Television) or something like that. I think Music Television is false advertising.

Anyway, I know they will replay that lame VMA show over and over on MTV for the rest of this month. As if we didn't get enough the first time, or, heaven forbid, someone missed the show! (oh goodness, no!) So if you missed it, don't worry. You will have about 50 more chances to see Shakira shaking her hips and doing her pitiful best to sing.

But a better option would be to just not watch. I still can't get Shakira's screeching out of my head. Someone please help me!

On the bright side, Sarah Silverman was hilarious as she made jokes about Paris Hilton, saying she should lose weight because she can't even see the bones in her back. She should host next year. Silverman in '07, people!

Caption This!

Baby Barron Trump, pictured here, has apparently inherited both his father's wealth.... and his hair.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Climacophobia: fear of stairs, climbing or of falling down stairs.

Random Fact of The Day

When a giraffe's baby is born it falls from a height of six feet, normally without being hurt.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Although I am not allowed to dress my daughter, I still have to do her hair. I can't do my OWN hair, which looks like the nest of a deeply troubled osprey. But Sophie wants a ponytail, and she is not happy with the quality of the one I make. I don't blame her: It's asymmetrical. It looks like it's from a cubist pony whose tail grows out of the side of its butt. So I spend a lot of time being brutally critiqued on my hair techniques by my daughter. It's not easy, but I am happy to do it to support the sports-writing career of my wife, to whom I say: Honey, if you're reading this in some locker room somewhere filled with naked male athletes, rest assured that we're OK! Also, you'd better be reading this with your eyes closed."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Makes the term "panty raid" take on a whole new meaning.)

Ore. man faces 11 years for panty thefts

CORVALLIS, Ore. - Sung Koo Kim, a 32-year-old Tigard man who stole college women's underwear, has been sentenced one more time for the thefts.

After the fourth part of a four-county plea agreement, Kim faces a total of 11 years in prison.

In Benton County on Wednesday, Circuit Judge Janet Holcomb sentenced him to 31 months in prison for burglary, charges stemming from the theft of underwear and other personal items from Oregon State University residences in 2004.

He has previously been sentenced in Washington, Yamhill and Multnomah counties.

Joo and Dong Kim were at Wednesday's hearing, where their son quietly apologized. Joo said her son is mentally ill and having a difficult time in prison.

"He says most of the time he stays in his cell with a cellmate who is also mentally ill," Joo said. "He's getting medication, but he needs expert mental-health care as soon as possible."

The Kims maintain their son is no danger to anyone and has never been violent.

But Benton County prosecutors said Kim targeted the OSU women's swim team and labeled underwear and personal hygiene items with the names of the women from whom they were stolen. He also photographed himself wearing some of the underwear.

Prosecutors said that behavior, along with thousands of violent pornographic images downloaded onto his computer, is evidence of his violent obsession, prosecutors said.

In one document on Kim's computer, "we see the defendant making a list of horrific torture steps that lead to murder," according to court documents, "followed by a list of supplies to bring along to complete the tasks."

___

Information from: Gazette-Times, http://www.gtconnect.com

Another day, another 50 cents

I keep thinking it is Tuesday. It is probably because I had Monday and Tuesday off. But am I glad that it is actually Thursday instead of Tuesday? Hell yes!!!

There are never enough weekends in the year. There is no such thing as too much time off. No sireee. Not to a lazy ass like me.

Anyhow, I have been spending the majority of my home time working on a new hobby: scrapbooking. It is addictive as hell. I have taken so many pictures over the years that I thought it was high time I actually do something with them instead of letting them sit around collecting dust. And I recently found out that you can do your scrapbooking digitally, too! Yep. I am now hooked on that, too. I have been working with Paint Shop Pro at home, putting together layouts and making "papers" and all kinds of stuff to make my pages all purty. Someday, I will publish one (when I actually finish one, that is - hehe). I love Paint Shop Pro! Gosh, I am such a geek.

The memorial service for my aunt Marge went really well. It was more of a get-together than an actual service. My cousin Steve's wife, Carolyn, had put together a photo slide show of pictures of Marge when she was a little kid, to more recent pictures. There was even one in there of her and me....and I was sitting on a cow...yes, a cow. I am gonna have to find that one and post it one of these days. You know, a lot of people - me included - hate having their picture taken. But seeing all of those pictures of her really shows the importance of having pictures. Even though my uncle Martin is so devastated about losing Marge, he is going to be glad one of these days that he has all of those pictures to look back on.

It was really nice to see all of my relatives - my cousins: Mike, Jeff, Bob, Steven, Dave, Debbie, Lori, and all of their kids...Colter, Hattie, Dalton, Payton, Natasha and Nicholas: and my aunts and uncles: Helen, Sandy, Bill and Martin. I hadn't seen them in ages. My cousin Bob was so funny. He showed up in his work clothes...dirty shirt and suspenders, jeans, work boots and a shiny, silver hard hat. We were calling him, "Bob the Builder." He didn't take off his hard hat once...not that his noggin was in any danger of being smacked, but that is just Bob. He is just a big kid at heart. I still remember having dirt clod wars out in the apple orchard with him, Mike and Jeff when I was a kid...hehe.

We stayed up at Debbie and Ted's house in Sebastopol, and the weather was just so nice. It was pretty cool in the evening, but boy did it feel good to be cool instead of hot like it is here in Bakersfield. My brother had a good time playing football with Colter, even though he did mess up his ankle. It was all swollen the next day. He is not as spry as he used to be. Guess his old age has caught up to him.

Phobia of The Day

Pagophobia: fear of ice or frost

Random Fact of The Day

Antarctica has about 87% of the world's ice.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"There comes a time when a man must go into the wilderness and face one of mankind's oldest, and most feared, enemies: trout. For me, that time came recently in Idaho, where I go every summer. Many people thing Idaho is nothing but potato farms, but nothing could be further from the truth.: There are also beet farms. No, seriously, Idaho is a beautiful state that offers - to quote Emerson - 'nature out the bazooty.' This includes many rivers and streams that allegedly team with trout. I say 'allegedly' because until recently I never saw an actual trout, teeming or otherwise. People were always pointing at the water and saying, 'Look! Trout!' But I saw nothing. I wondered if these people were like that creepy little boy in the movie The Sixth Sense who had the supernatural ability to see trout."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(You can't teach an old dog new tricks.)

Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive

BEIJING - A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said Monday.

No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said.

The woman, identified only be her surname, Li, said her dog "was fond of crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive," according to Xinhua.

"She thought she would let the dog 'have a try' while she operated the accelerator and brake," the report said. "They did not make it far before crashing into an oncoming car."

Xinhua did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Li paid for repairs.

Peanut and Lil Oreo - they look so cute together :)
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Lil Oreo out for a walk
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My mother was a mail-order bride

It is funny the things you learn about your family over the years. I grew up thinking my parents had a conventional courtship and marriage. I mean, they look conventional and all. They look relatively normal. Who would have guessed my mom was a stalker?

Yes, a stalker.

I said it.

When I was up at my cousin Debbie's house over the weekend - my family and I had gone up there for my aunt Marge's memorial service - my parents and her got to talking about how they met and all that good stuff. Well I always knew that my parents had met at college. But I thought they dated in college, too. I was wrong. It seems my mom and dad DID meet in college, but they didn't date there. My mom, according to my dad, was dating several guys back then (including some skin divers - my mom was a player too! hehe), but only was friends with my dad. It wasn't until my dad left for the army that they started dating. But it wasn't in the usual, "let's go out for pizza and a movie" kind of thing. No. That would be too simple. My mom, being the stalker she was, found out my dad's address in the army. She didn't say how. I don't know if she asked a friend of his or if she took matters into her own hands and somehow found it. But she found his address and they started writing back and forth and formed a relationship via the US Mail.

Well, eventually, somehow the subject of marriage was brought up - by my mom, according to my dad - and my dad ended up buying my mom an engagement ring. But he just couldn't wait to give it to her, so he - and I am not making this up - MAILED it to her. Yes, he mailed it to her. Now the price tag on the ring is subject to some debate. My mom says it was like $37.50 and my dad says it was more like $130 (which was a lot of money back in the day). So no one is quite clear on just how much the ring cost, but the diamond fell out of it...twice. My dad joked around and was saying that that should have been a warning sign (my dad is so funny). So anyway, after my dad finished up the highway patrol academy, they got married in Reno, Nevada at a small chapel, and over 35 years later, they are still married.

I guess love will find a way. Even through the US Mail.

I now joke with my mom, calling her "the stalker" or the "mail order bride." She just laughs and says, "Oh Kim." My mom is funny too.

I would have never, not in a million years, guessed that my parents hooked up though some paper, envelopes and postage stamps.

No. Not in a million years.

Caption This!

I'll get the ying if you get the yang.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Catapedaphobia: fear of jumping from high and low places

Random Fact of The Day

A group of kangaroos is called a mob.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"My daughter Sophie picks out all her clothes. This is a LOT of clothes, because she changes outfits many times a day, because God forbid you should go to the supermarket dressed in an Ariel the Mermaid outfit that you've been wearing for nearly forty-five minutes! No, to go to the supermarket, you need to change into your bridal gown. (Yes, Sophie has a bridal gown. Shut up.)"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(That must have been some cake!)

Thieves have their cake but can't eat it

BERLIN (Reuters) - Two men broke into a supermarket depot in Germany and left with just a cake, authorities said on Tuesday.

"Sometimes people just come up with crazy ideas," said Hermann Schwichtenberg, a spokesman for police in the northern town of Itzehoe. "Now we've seen everything."

Police arrested the two men, aged 29 and 41, shortly after the late night break-in and recovered the stolen cake. A search of the men's flat uncovered no more loot.

Peanut playing my piano - he's pretty good - hehe
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Peanut playing hide-n-seek in my shoe
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Golden

Golden gate bridge

Phobia of The Day

Cryophobia: fear of extreme cold, ice or frost

Random Fact of The Day

The warmest temperature ever recorded on Antarctica was 3 degrees F.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Among the specific threats we discussed in Fright School were 'dirty bombs,' germ warfare, mines, and booby traps. Because we took only the truncated one-day version of the course, the instructor couldn't go deeply into these threats, other than to note that they aren't all fatal. (He also pointed out that his company had the world's foremost authority on booby traps, and 'he does a presentation that is quite entertaining.') The most sensible way to avoid these threats, according to the instructor, is to remain alert, use common sense, be inconspicuous, and avoid dangerous areas, such as the planet Earth. He also recommended that we carry the following items at all times: water, food, protective eyewear, protective headgear, an 'escape hood' for gas attacks, a whistle, a personal alarm, and a first-aid kit. He didn't say how you could look inconspicuous while carrying all these items: Maybe you could put them in your cargo pants and just pretend to have enormous thighs."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(And a bomb is just so much better.)

No, that's not a penis pump, Mom. Really

CHICAGO - Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.

Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.

When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

He later told officials he'd lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.

He's been charged with felony disorderly conduct, said Andrew Conklin, a spokesman with the Cook County state's attorney's office.

Amin faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

Caption This!

"Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell."

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Philematophobia: fear of kissing

Random Fact of The Day

Women end up digesting most of the lipstick they apply.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Ask Mr. Language Person

Q. "I am a real-estate developer building a residential subdivision on a former landfill, and I can't decide which name would be more prestigious: 'The Oaks at Hampton Chase Manor' or 'The Estates of the Falls of the Landings of Hunters Run.'

A. How recently was the property used as a landfill?

Q. In some of the yards, you can still see refrigerators sticking out of the dirt.

A. We would recommend 'The Knolls at Cheshire Pointe Landings on the Greene."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(I just gotta be me.)

Man comes to court drunk on DUI charge

JIM THORPE, Pa. - A man who showed up in court drunk to be sentenced for drunken driving told the judge he routinely drinks 12 beers a day "and then some."

Carbon County President Judge Roger Nanovic sentenced 25-year-old Joshua Beury yesterday to 30 days to six months in prison for contempt of court and the second-offense DUI charge.

Beury received a similar sentence on Monday for charges related to a November 6th crash which his blood-alcohol level registered 0.17, about twice the legal limit.

Beury told Nanovic he'd had two beers the night before the hearing, when his blood alcohol registered .20. He said he was on medication for bipolar disorder and other mental health issues.

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Information from: The Morning Call, http://www.mcall.com

He really should have listened to his friends

I just finished watching a Japanese horror movie called Audition.I won't spoil the story for those who haven't seen it, but let me tell you, it is not something for the squeamish. Those Japanese sure know how to make a person REALLY uncomfortable watching their films. Yikes. Talk about your psycho chicks!

It starts of pretty slow, and you wouldn't even think it was supposed to be a horror movie. But little by little, darker elements come out and by the time the movie is over, you are left thinking, "what the hell did I just watch???" At least, that is what I thought.

It was a decent movie, though not nearly as grisly as I thought it would be - Hostel and Wolf Creek were just as gory. But there is something about the way the Japanese do their horror movies which make them all the more scary. There is that unknown element. They don't let you know from the beginning that this is going to be a gore-fest. They let you think, "Awww. This is such a nice movie..." then wham.........someone loses an ear. I don't know what it is, but their horror movies are REALLY creepy. And that is why I like them ;)

Phobia of The Day

Chronomentrophobia: fear of clocks

Random Fact of The Day

A cesium atom in an atomic clock beats over nine billion times a second.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I am familiar with the University of Arizona microbiology professor Dr Chuck Gerba, who is an expert on household germs, because some years ago I interviewed him on bathroom cleanliness, and he told me that the only sure way to kill all bacteria on a toilet is - I am not making this up - to put laboratory alcohol on the bowl and set it on fire. LEGAL ADVISORY - Dr. Gerba is a trained bathroom scientist. As a layperson, you must NEVER EVER set your toilet on fire, EVER. Also be advised that it looks much cooler with the lights out."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(A case of mistaken identity, or just plain stupidity? You be the judge.)

Man mistakes building for bank in holdup

VIENNA, Austria - A man mistook a municipal building in southern Austria for a bank and tried to rob it early Tuesday, police said.

The 34-year-old man thought a municipal building in the southern village of Poggersdorf was a bank because it had an ATM machine in the lobby, said Hermann Klammer, head of the criminal division at Carinthia province's police department.

The man fled the building after a woman he allegedly threatened with an air gun told him she had no money and that he had made a mistake, Klammer said.

"At first, I thought he was making a bad joke," Austrian broadcaster ORF quoted the woman, Helga Aichwalder, as saying.

The man, who is from Carinthia but was not identified by name, was arrested shortly after the incident and has admitted the act, Klammer said.

"This is an extremely odd case. I've never come across anything like this," Klammer said.

Go Climb A Pinnacle

I went camping over the weekend at Pinnacles National Monument. Despite having lived in King City for some 10 years, I had never been to the Pinnacles, even though it is only about 35 miles away from there. I had a great time. It was hot in the daytime (around 94 or so), but it cooled off to a nice 54 degrees at night, which felt so great. We hiked up to Bear Gulch Cave and then to Bear Gulch Reservoir. It was a tough hike for me, with my achey joints and all, but I made it. It was about a mile to the reservoir, and it was mostly uphill. There were a few flat areas and there were some nice shady spots, which was good since it was in the 90s. The cave was dark and cool...about 64 degrees. You are required to have a flashlight if you go into the cave, but someone forgot the flashlight, and damned if I was going to hike back over a half mile to the parking lot then back up the hill again just to get the damned thing, so we went in with no light (hehe). It wasn't too bad, since there were spots where the light shined though the boulders. But some areas were pitch black and you had to feel your way up the stairs, and some of the steps were wet and mossy and slippery. It would hurt like hell if you fell in there - lol. Plus, there were some tight squeezes and low overhangs where you had to duck (unless you wanted a nice big knot on your forehead as a souvenir of your trip). It was great though. I felt like Indiana Jones (only without the whip and the cool hat). In order to get to the reservoir, you have to climb up a narrow staircase, which sucks ass since I am afraid of heights. Some of the stairs are wet and mossry and slippery, too, and there is some poison oak near them, and you can't avoid brushing against it since there is no room to move on the narrow stairs. I didn't get poison oak though, thank the lord. I almost didn't want to go to the top, but I am very glad I did. It was so pretty up there.

After the hike to the top of the reservoir, we had to turn around and go back the way we came, which meant going down those stairs (ugh - I hated that) and back through the dark cave. It seemed darker when we came back - lol. You would think it would be more difficult to hike uphill than downhill, but that is not necessarily so. It is way more taxing on the knees to go downhill, and by the time we got back to the parking lot, my knees had had it! I was so achey the next day, and my calf muscles are still sore - lol. But it was worth the trek.

The campground was great. I saw deer (a few wandered into the campsite - a doe and her fawn), raccoons (quite a few of them), and cottontail rabbits. I heard coyotes howling in the middle of the night and owls hooting in the trees. There were quail everywhere. I love quail. They are so cute!! The weather at night was nice and cool which made for good sleeping weather.

The next day, we drove to Arroyo Seco and then to San Antonio Lake and Lake Nacimiento, just to look around. I remember going to San Antonio Lake when I was a kid with the Girl Scouts. I got my swimming badge there - lol. It seemed so much bigger than I remembered.

Anyway, the weekend was fun. I didn't get poison oak or a sunburn, but I did get a few mosquito bites. Those suckers just never leave me alone

I took pictures (duh) and you can see them and read more about the trip by clicking HERE.

Enjoy!

Phobia of The Day

Hippophobia: fear of horses

Random Fact of The Day

The famous white Lipizzaner stallions are born dark, black-brown and don't turn white until they are 6-10 years old. A non-white adult Lipizzan is a rarity.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Claudette Knieriem sent in a Manchester (New Hampshire) Union Leader classified ad for a child-care center that says: 'FUN AT PLAY where it's creative, safe, wholesome and neutering."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(No wonder the cat was up the tree. His owner is nuts!)

Firefighters shot at for not helping cat

KINGMAN, Ariz. - A man angry at firefighters who refused to rescue a cat from a tree was arrested after he started shooting at the fire crew, officials said.

Jeffrey Cullen, 58, was charged with four felony counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, Mohave County Sheriff's spokeswoman Trish Carter said.

A three-person fire crew went to Cullen's home Thursday when he reported a tree fire, but found no blaze, Hualapai Valley Fire Department spokeswoman Sandy Edwards said.

Instead, Cullen told firefighters he wanted a cat rescued from his tree and knew they would only respond to a fire call, Edwards said. A battalion chief told Cullen to call animal control or wait for the cat to get hungry and come down.

Cullen apparently didn't like the response, Edwards said.

"He went back into the house, got a small black revolver and came outside shooting," she said.

The firefighters and a 12-year-old boy who had come to see the fire truck ran for their lives, Edwards said. No one was injured.

Deputies arrested Cullen after a brief standoff and struggle.

This video is just too cute

Phobia of The Day

Mottephobia: fear of moths

Random Fact of The Day

Mexican Jumping Beans jump because of moth larvae inside them.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Florida motorist Damara Hutchins wrote me recently, noting the annoying behavior of certain motorists, especially the ones who drift along in the left, or 'passing,' lane, mile after clueless mile, never passing anybody, and also never noticing the line of motorists behind them flashing their lights, honking their horns, making explicit hand gestures, firing marine flares, etc. This is not a problem in Europe. If you get into the passing lane in Europe, you'd better pass immediately and get back over, because otherwise you will need surgery to have Ferrari grill shards removed from your buttocks."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Well, there could be worse places to be stuck.)

Man trapped waist-deep in chocolate

KENOSHA, Wis. - It might sound like a chocoholic's dream, but stepping into a vat of chocolate became a two-hour nightmare for a 21-year-old man Friday morning.

The man, an employee of a Kenosha company that supplies chocolate ingredients, told police he got into the tank at Debelis Corp. to unplug it and became trapped waist-deep in the chocolate.

"It was pretty thick. It was virtually like quicksand," said Police Capt. Randy Berner.

Co-workers, police and firefighters tried to free the man but couldn't get him loose until the chocolate was thinned out. Berner said the worker was taken to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries.

Your name in Russian

This is pretty cool... click on the link below to try it out.

Ignore all the crazy Russian on the site, just type your name in the
box and click to see what your name looks like in Russian ... very
impressive!

CLICK HERE

If you can't click on it, copy & paste. This is really really cool.

Phobia of The Day

Phengophobia: fear of daylight or sunshine

Random Fact of The Day

About twenty-five percent of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The plot of Godzilla vs. Mothra involves the arrival in Japan of a giant egg, and two really annoying singing telepathic fairies who have come to Japan to ... OK, it's too complicated to explain the plot here. Just rent the movie, OK? Be sure to watch the climactic final battle between Godzilla and - I am not making this up - two enormous moth larvae. When you watch this battle, you will understand why moth larvae are so often referred to as 'the mighty fierce warriors of the animal kingdom."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Let's do something stupid, then broadcast it over the internet!)

Firefighters suspended for tumble dryer stunt

LONDON (Reuters) - Four firefighters were suspended by their force on Wednesday over a stunt which saw one of the men spun around in a tumble dryer at their fire station.

The prank, which was filmed on a mobile phone and later broadcast on the Internet, shows one of the officers at Blackley fire station in Manchester climbing into the dryer and padding it with clothes.

The machine is then turned on and he spins around inside a few times while his laughing colleagues look on.

The firefighter then emerges looking dizzy.

"Due to the serious nature of the incident, the decision has been taken to suspend them until the outcome of a disciplinary hearing," said Greater Manchester's Deputy County Fire Officer Tony Proctor.

Media reports said the officer shown in the footage had apologised for his behaviour and would be complying fully with the internal investigation.

Footage of the incident can be viewed at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jnam-gkSrI

Phobia of The Day

Hematophobia: fear of blood

Random Fact of The Day

A spider's blood is light blue.

Funny Stuff FRom Dave Barry

"Men: You know how, when your wife can’t open a pickle jar, she gives it to you, and you’re supposed to smile in a manly patronizing way as you effortlessly twist it open? That’s not what happens in our house. What happens is, after a grim struggle lasting several minutes, I wind up lying on the kitchen floor, exhausted and whimpering, while the pickle jar, unopened, laughs and flirts boldly with my wife. Sometimes it gives me a wedgie. "

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Baa, baa bad sheep!)

Australian farmers called to report ugly sheep

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Australian scientists have called on the country's farmers to report any ugly sheep found in their flocks.

A campaign called "Xtreme sheep" aims to study sheep with undesirable wool features to unlock the genetic makeup of the prized merino and ensure production of its high quality fleece.

The South Australian Research and Development Institute (SARDI) said on Tuesday its search for "Australia's ugliest merino lambs" may hold the key to securing the nation's A$2.8 billion (US$2.1 billion) wool industry.

The institute said ugly lambs -- with uneven wool, strange fibers, clumps of wool that fall out, bare patches, no wool, or highly wrinkled skin -- are usually culled by farmers.

"Before sending them to the abattoir, we'd like farmers to talk to us first, because studying animals with extreme features offers one of the most efficient ways to find good genes that can impact on certain wool traits," said project leader Simon Bawden.

"It might seem a paradox that ugly wool may be good, but when looking through a genetic profile, the random genetic mistakes act like a flag, speeding up our search to finding genes critical to wool formation and synthesis," Bawden told reporters

The institute hopes to the DNA study will lead to improvements in Australia's merino wool, making it stretchier, less scratchy, shinier and easier to spin, and better able to compete against synthetic fibers.

So far only 10 ugly sheep have been found this lambing season, which stretches from April to September, when statistically there could be hundreds, said the institute.

A day without a headache is a good day

I have returned from the land of the migraine. I went home from work around noon yesterday. I got home, got into my pj's, took out my contacts and layed down on my couch with a blanket over my head (nice picture, huh - lol) and slept til about 6 pm. But I still had a headache last night when I went to bed and was so afraid that I would still have one this morning. Luckily, it had gone, but I can feel it coming back. If it just stays at a nice, dull throb, it will be tolerable enough. But yesterday, ugh, that just plain sucked. You would think that me, having arthritis and fibromyalgia, that I would be used to pain and would make me more tolerable of it. Well, that is not the case. I think it has made me even more of a wimp as far as pain is concerned - lol. Screw pain!

I just hope I never, ever get another migraine. I know that won't happen, but I can wish, can't I?

Anyway, here's a little bit of fun.... go HERE to check out what happened on your birthday. Here is what mine said:

4 April 1972
Your date of conception was on or about 13 July 1971 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 9.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2441411.5.
The golden number for 1972 is 16.
The epact number for 1972 is 14.
The year 1972 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/15/1972 and ending 2/2/1973.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Hawk; your plant is Dandelion.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 20 Nisan 5732.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 2 April 1972.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 9 April 1972.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 16 February 1972.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 21 May 1972.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 28 May 1972.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 9 September 1972.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 30 March 1972.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 15 February 1972.

As of 8/15/2006 11:57:02 AM EDT
You are 34 years old.
You are 412 months old.
You are 1,793 weeks old.
You are 12,551 days old.
You are 301,235 hours old.
You are 18,074,157 minutes old.
You are 1,084,449,422 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Jamie Lynn Spears (1991) Heath Ledger (1979) David Blaine (1973)
Nancy McKeon (1966) Robert Downey, Jr. (1965) David Gavurin (1963)
Christine Lahti (1950) Craig T. Nelson (1946) Anthony Perkins (1932)
Maya Angelou (1928) Muddy Waters (1915) Frances Langford (1914)
John Cameron Swayze (1906) Arthur Murray (1895)

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.91232876712329 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)



There are 232 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 35 candles.

Those 35 candles produce 35 BTUs,
or 8,820 calories of heat (that's only 8.8200 food Calories!) .
You can boil 4.00 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1972 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1972 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1972 in the US there were approximately 2,158,802 marriages (10.6%) and 708,000 divorces (3.5%)
In 1972 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1972 the population of Australia was approximately 13,409,288.
In 1972 there were approximately 264,969 births in Australia.
In 1972 in Australia there were approximately 114,029 marriages and 15,655 divorces.
In 1972 in Australia there were approximately 109,760 deaths.


Your birthstone is Diamond

The Mystical properties of Diamond

Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire

Your birth tree is

Rowan, the Sensitivity
Full of charm, cheerful, gifted, without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.



There are 132 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 145 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning gibbous.


Not very exciting stuff, but interesting enough.

Caption This!

Ok. This whole "big sunglasses" trend has gone too far!

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Iophobia: fear of poison

Random Fact of The Day

The male platypus has poisonous spurs on its legs.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I can tell from the perceptive way you're reading these words that you truly are above average in driving skills. So am I, of course. I took drivers education at Pleasantville (New York) High School; we did our road training in a 1962 Plymouth Inertia, creeping around greater Pleasantville at minus two miles per hour, signaling our turns, and always maintaining a Safe Following Distance. This class taught me many important driving lessons, the main one being that if you ever find yourself stuck behind a drivers-ed car, you MUST get past it, no matter how many innocent lives you endanger."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Must....have....cheese!)

Border cops nab cheese smuggler

PHOENIX, Arizona (Reuters) - Puzzled U.S. border police arrested a Mexican smuggler with 88 pounds (40-kg) of cheese hidden in a special compartment in his truck, police said on Friday.

Customs and Border Protection spokesman Roger Maier said officers at the port of entry in Columbus, New Mexico, referred a Chevrolet pickup for a routine secondary examination on Wednesday.

Officers using an X-ray machine saw the outline of 16 bulky packages stashed in a secret compartment behind the seat, which they initially believed were packets containing illicit drugs.

"Generally if you see something (with the X-ray machine) you expect it to be narcotics, but this turned out to be cheese," Maier told Reuters by telephone.

Officers regularly impound drugs including marijuana, heroin and cocaine at border crossings from Mexico, although Maier said the smuggled cheese haul was unusual.

"It looks like it was destined for people who wanted a taste of the old country," he added.

Police arrested the 38-year-old driver, seized the cheese and confiscated the truck because he failed to declare his cargo.

In 2003, border police in the area impounded nearly 800 pounds (360 kg) of bologna as it was being smuggled across the border from Mexico.

Just another migraine Monday

I am in a bad mood.

It is Monday. That alone is enough to cause a bad mood, but I also have a migraine. That puts me in a shiteous mood. I am ready to go crazy right about now. The only thing keeping my level of sanity at a comfortable level is the fact that I am keeping my mind preoccupied by writing this blog. If I stop writing, there is only the pain left. So, one can guess that when I stop writing, I will be, in fact, insane.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

And if there are typos, then screw it. I don't care about 'em. This isn't English class. This is a migraine-induced blog, therefore, it will probably make no sense. Deal with it. If you want, you can spell-check it for me, and I will fix it later. More like, I will read your little spell-checking comments and laugh....laugh....laugh ...and then bitch about how people have nothing better to do than to correct my spelling.

This headache started yesterday morning. I woke up with a headache, took some Advil, and was fine until about 6 pm, when the damned thing came back. I took Tylenol PM before I went to bed, but when I woke up this morning, the damned thing had come back. And it had upgraded in status to a migraine. How do I know it is a migraine? Well, I can't stand the light right now, which is why I am not looking at the monitor (thus the potential for typos, but we covered that subject alreay, so let's move forward, shall we?). I am also feeling pukey. I feel like if I stand up, I will surely puke, and no one wants that....especially me. Not only that, but every little sound is annoying me...especially the sound of someone's laugh...no, not every person's laugh, jyust one person in particular. Ugh. It is just sooooo annoying!

I feel like absolute crapola, which is why I will probably go home after my supervisor gets back. I just want to lie in a dark room with no noise and sleep...oh blessed sleep. I have already taken 2 Advil and my migraine seems worse than ever. I am cursed. Some people are cursed with bad skin or excess body hair. I am cursed with headaches. I should buy stock in Advil. Hell, with as much Advil as I buy, they should at least give me a discount.

I am through writing now. Let the insanity commence.

Phobia of The Day

Logophobia: fear of words

Random Fact of The Day

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch procejt at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe!

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Time and again, in my house, when we're cleaning up after dinner, there will be, say, a small clump of uneaten string beans, and I'll have it poised over the garbage, and my wife will lunge for it like a person rescuing a baby from a wood chipper, saying, 'Those will be good for leftovers!' She'll carefully seal the string beans in a plastic container and put them in the refrigerator, as if she truly believes that sometime in the near future an actual human in our household will say, 'Dang! I could really chow down on some old string beans!' Now fast-forward about a month, when my wife, passing the refrigerator, detects an odor molecule. So she takes out the plastic container and discovers that EWWW the string beans have been replaced by alien space worms with inch-long blue fur. Which of course she hurls into the garbage, which as you may recall is exactly where I tried to throw them a month earlier."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sometimes, when you gotta go, you should just hold it.)

Man picks wrong spot when nature calls

CHARLESTON, W.Va. - Sometimes when nature calls, there's no time to delay, but a Kentucky man sure picked the wrong spot for a pit stop.

Michael Ray Hunter, 37, found out Wednesday night that the parking lot of the West Virginia State Police headquarters in South Charleston isn't the right spot.

Trooper J.S. Crane just happened to be walking nearby as Hunter was relieving himself.

As Crane approached, he smelled alcohol. That discovery led Crane to the truck where Hunter's friend, James Alan Richardson, 40, was checking phone messages.

During a search of the pickup, Crane and another trooper found a marijuana pipe and pills for which Richardson had no prescription.

Both men were arrested for public intoxication. Hunter also is charged with indecent exposure and Richardson is charged with possessing controlled substances.

Me, defined

Kimberly -- [adjective]: Visually addictive 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Phobia of The Day

Mycophobia: fear of mushrooms.

Random Fact of The Day

There is a giant mushroom in Oregon that is over 2,400 years old, covers 3.4 square miles of land, and is still growing.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"No amount of physical evidence will convince a bad driver that her or she is a bad driver. You take a motorist who, while attempting to pull out of a parking space, mistakes 'forward' for 'reverse,' then, in an effort to correct this error, mistakes the accelerator for the brake and sends his car (an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme) lunging across a sidewalk and into a restaurant, attaining a speed of thirty-seven mile per hour by the time it rams the salad bar and is engulfed by a wave of the house dressing (a creamy Italian). Even as the paramedics are tweezing chickpeas from the ears of this motorist, he will loudly insist that (a) the restaurant was not there before; and (b) there are PLENTY of people on the road who does not drive as well as he does."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sorry. Wrong number.)

ATM robbers yank out the wrong machine

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Three would-be thieves broke into a bank in northern Malaysia but failed to make off with any cash as they yanked out the wrong machine — a check deposit machine instead of an automated cash dispenser, the national news agency Bernama reported Wednesday.

The three men broke into the entrance area of the bank in the northern town of Bukit Mertajam early Wednesday, and tied a rope — attached to two vehicles — around a machine, police district investigation chief Chor Ah Sing said, according to Bernama.

They jerked the machine off its hinges, sending it crashing to the ground floor, Chor added.

The crashing sound alerted a security guard to the breach who chased them away, it said.

The three men had already managed to open the machine, but found no cash as it was a check deposit machine, the national news agency said. It is not immediately clear if they made off with any checks.

Local police officials could not be immediately contacted for comment.

Hooked on TV

I keep thinking it is Tuesday, but it is, in fact, Wednesday. Normally, I would be happy about it being Hump Day, but I just got asked to make baby shower favors for a baby shower which is gonna be on Saturday, so I basically just have tonight and tomorrow to print, cut and put together 40 paper baby booties. No pressure there! It, of course, would be way easier to just go out and buy some, but I am the creative type you know. Sometimes being creative is such a freakin' curse. Plus, I am cheap.

I am hooked on a new show. Well, it isn't NEW, but is is new to me, since I don't have Showtime (see aforementioned comment about me being cheap). It is a series called Dead Like Me, and it is superrific! It comes on the Sci-Fi Channel at 7 & 8 pm on Tuesdays. It is all about this young woman named George who gets hit by the falling toilet seat from the space station Mir and gets killed. Not only does she die in a most embarassing way, she now has to take on the duties of a Grim Reaper in her afterlife, a task which she is most unhappy about. She has to deal with her overbearing grim reaper boss, Rube (played by Mandy Patinkin, who is fantastic in this role), and her obnoxious boss at her regular job....yes, the undead have to hold down jobs just like the living. It is hilarious! I want to buy the DVD's now - lol.

Ugh. I am getting so many grey hairs. I need to color my hair again but I am just too lazy. Besides, if I think of the grey hairs as natural highlights, then it sounds a lot better.

Some new movies are coming out soon that I want to see. Gotta see Pulse, since it is a remake of Kairo, the Japanese original. I am a huge fan of Japanese horror films. I just love their creepiness factor. The Grudge 2 is coming out on October 13th. I liked the first one ok enough, but the Japanese version (Ju-On) was better...way creepier. But the sequel has Sam Raimi as a producer, and everyone knows I LOVE Sam Raimi's work. And the director, Takashi Shimizu, is the same guy who directed the 1st one. Maybe he will be able to get that creepiness factor back, since it was lost in the 1st one. The trailer looks promising at least. And then there's The Wicker Man, another remake of an old horror film. But I wonder why they are gonna remake that one since the original was so good. Everyone knows what happens when Hollywood tries to remake good films...remember the remake of Psycho?? Of course there is also the much-hyped Snakes On A Plane. I wonder how that one will turn out. I would like to see The Descent and Little Miss Sunshine and Clerks 2 (no, I haven't made it to the theatre to see it yet). Gosh, I am coming up with a long list! I just ordered a movie called Audition. Yes, it is a Japanese horror film. I am so obsessed.

Phobia of The Day

Ailurophobia: fear of cats

Random Fact of The Day

Catgut comes from sheep not cats.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"How do you rate yourself as a driver? No, that's a stupid question. You rate yourself above average. It's a well-known fact that all humans consider themselves to be above-average drivers, including primitive Amazonian tribespeople who have not yet discovered the wheel."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Thou shall not use thou bible to smuggle cocaine to thou jailed husband.)

Woman sentenced for Bible coke smuggling

HUNTINGTON, Ind. - There was more than Good News in Amy Duckworth's Bible. Duckworth, 28, was sentenced Monday to six months in prison for smuggling cocaine to her jailed husband inside two Bibles.

Judge Pro Tem Tom Hakes gave her four years each on two charges of trafficking with an inmate, and ordered her to serve 90 days on each count. The remainder of both terms will be served as probation.

Duckworth, who has three children, does not have a criminal history.

"When I committed this offense, I wasn't thinking about my children," she said, reading from a written statement. "It only took one time to learn a lesson."

Duckworth had admitted to placing bags of cocaine in the spines of two Bibles and having them delivered in March to her husband, Anthony Duckworth, who was in jail on a misdemeanor charge of visiting a common nuisance.

___

Information from: The Huntington Herald-Press, http://www.h-ponline.com

How soon is too soon?

I am sick of hearing how it is "too soon" to be releasing a movie like The World Trade Center. Just how soon is "too soon?" 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? 100 years? Yes, it was a terrible tragedy. Yes, it resulted in the loss of many people's lives. Yes, it left many children without mothers and/or fathers, and it crippled our country's spirit. But life must go on. I know a lot of people may want to bitch-slap me for this, but I think it is a good idea that this movie was made, and I, for one, want to see it.

Before 9/11, people were so indifferent to each other. Before all of that happened, if you were lying, bleeding in the street, people would just walk past you. Indeed the events of 9/11 were a tragedy, but it also showed the nation that we could rise above. What happened during 9/11 is that people banded together to help one another. It took a terrible tragedy to make us come together and work together. What is wrong with making a movie celebrating the human spirit? Nothing, as far as I can see.

The movie is about 2 men who went back into the World Trade Center to help rescue people and, in turn, got trapped themselves when the building collapsed. It is the story of the rescue effort to free the trapped police officers. The movie is their story. It is a story of heroism and survival. Just because 9/11 was a tragedy does it mean that these men's story cannot be told? I know I haven't seen the movie, but from what I have heard, the movie does more to focus on the rescue efforts than the actual tragedy of 9/11. The movie's main interest is in showing how people can rise above tragedy to help their fellow man. I don't see anything wrong with that.

But then, a lot of people will. But to them I say, if you don't want to see it, then don't. It is as easy as that.

But, please, don't bitch-slap me.

Caption This!

James Larsen, 24, demonstrates his theory on how Jesus walked on water.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Batrachophobia: Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.

Random Fact of The Day

A group of frogs is called an army.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Does anyone know why, when we explain human sexuality to young people, we refer to it as 'the birds and the bees?' I have never once seen a bird OR a bee have sex. I don't believe that, organwise, bird or bees have any equipment they can have sex WITH. It seems to me that if we're going to use animals to explain human sexuality to youngsters, we should pick a species whose anatomy and behavior at least vaguely resembles ours. So when your child - let's say his name is Billy - reached a certain age, instead of 'the birds and the bees,' you'd have a little talk with him about, let's say, 'the dogs.' You'd say, 'Billy, the male dog wants to have sex pretty much all the time with pretty much every female dog on the entire planet, or, if no female is available, with another male dog, or the nearest human shin, or any low-lying furniture. Whereas the female dog ... Billy? Come back here!' But Billy is gone, because he already knows all about human sexuality, from watching HBO."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oh, what some people won't do for a homegrown tomato.)

Cops: Man stabs 2 in tomato theft attempt

DES MOINES, Iowa - A man faces robbery and assault charges after allegedly stabbing two homeowners who chased him when he tried to steal tomatoes from their garden on Saturday.

Police said Elmer Pace, 53, was eventually caught by Mark and Mick Daggy after fleeing on a bicycle. Police said Pace stabbed Mark Daggy in the left side and slashed Mick Daggy across the wrist.

When officers arrived at the scene, Pace was being held down on the ground.

Mark Daggy was treated at Mercy Medical Center while Pace was taken the Broadlawns Medical Center for treatment of his injuries.

We don't need no stinkin' labels!

For a Monday, today is not too bad. Had an ok weekend. Just spent it doing some shopping and a whole lot of relaxing.

I was watching TV last night and found myself being annoyed at all of those stupid parental warnings they show on every friggin' program. I don't have kids myself (although the issue of whether or not I am, in fact, just a big kid, is still being debated) so why should I be subjected to these lame things? So there's some profanity. So what? Does it really matter whether I say "shit" or "fecal matter"? I know for a fact "fecal matter" does not get bleeped out on tv, yet "fecal matter" and "shit" mean the same thing. Frankly, "fecal matter" sounds a lot more disgusting than "shit." But why are only certain programs subject to these "parental control" thingy-ma-bobs? Hell, if South Park has some lame TV-MA rating on it, then I want to see the 6 o'clock news get some of those ratings, too. Lord knows there is more violence on the news than anywhere else. And while they're at it, let's start putting some "stupid" ratings on programs. Like TV-IQ (watching this program may lower your IQ), TV-ICBIWT (I can't believe I'm watching this), or TV-MTV (moron television - a rating for every program they show on MTV), and TV-TTC (turn the channel - especially useful for Steven Seagal movies). They should also have stupidity labels for music. If they had invented them, it would have saved the world from the likes of The Spice Girls, Britney Spears and Michael Bolton.

If we are going to label everything, why not do it right?

Phobia of The Day

Ligyrophobia: fear of loud noises

Random Fact of The Day

A lion's roar can be heard from more than five miles away.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Quiz To Determine What Type of TV You Need

Question 1: Are you a male?

HOW TO SCORE: If you answered 'yes,' then the type of TV you need is what is known technically as a 'bigger TV than the one you have.' A true man cannot own a TV that is too large. Even as you read these words, there's a guy somewhere who just bought a TV with a screen the size of a regulation volleyball court, a screen which a human nostril looks like the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel. This guy is standing in his family room - which had to be enlarged for this TV - and he's looking at the screen, and he WANTS to be satisfied with it, but he's troubled by the nagging suspicion that, somewhere in America, in another family room, there's a guy who has a bigger diagonal.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Looking for love in all the wrong places...)

Woman seeking 'cute cop' gets probation

HILLSBORO, Ore. - A woman who called 911 in hopes of getting another look at "the cutest cop I've seen in God knows how long" won't go to jail for misusing the emergency system, a judge decided.

Instead, Lorna Dudash was sentenced to serve two years of probation and 100 hours of community service, and pay $693 in fines and fees.

"People who are, oh, say, older than 7 know not to use 911 except when where is an emergency," Washington County Judge Marco Hernandez told Dudash, of Aloha.

Dudash's dream deputy came to her door June 15, along with another officer, to tell her to turn down her music. Afterward, Dudash called emergency dispatchers.

"I'm 45 years old and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911," she said.

The deputy went back, to arrest her.

Dudash was sentenced Thursday after pleading guilty. She faced a possible yearlong sentence a fine of more than $6,000.

Phobia of The Day

Potamophobia: fear of rivers or running water

Random Fact of The Day

An earthquake on Dec. 16, 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards.