Damn! I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those hot wings!
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Caption This!
Damn! I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those hot wings!
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Random Fact of The Day
In Massachusetts, it is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Holiday Gift Guide:
AQUARIUM TOILET TANK
"Every single one of us has spent literally years agonizing over the question of how to make our commode tanks more visually appealing. At last we have an answer, thanks to modern technology and space-age plastics. Aslo we suspect drugs were involved. This is a working aquarium that also functions as a toilet tank. While you're 'doing your business,' you can enjoy actual, living fish darting around in a playful manner, until of course you flush, at which point they are sucked, screaming tiny underwater Nemo screams, down the Hole of Death. No, seriously, the fish are not flushed down, as far as we can tell. They continue to swim around in there, in plain view, watching you as you use the commode. Even when your back is turned you can feel their eyes on you, watching, watching. Try not to think about it."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(It's the pesticide that gives it that extra zing.)
Manager arrested for garbage in lard
BEIJING - A factory manager in east China has been arrested for using grease from swill, sewage, pesticides and recycled industrial oil to make lard for human consumption, state media said Monday in the country's latest food scare.
Ying Fuming, a manager at the Fanchang Grease Factory in Taizhou, a city in Zhejiang province, sold the lard at half the price of other wholesalers while promising that his product met safety standards, the Shanghai Daily said.
The factory was shut down and local health and food authorities began an investigation this year after an anonymous tip indicated that the plant "recycled large amounts of used grease to process substandard lard," the newspaper said.
It is the latest incident involving substandard or fake food products in China, where there is rampant counterfeiting of food and medicines.
China's food safety watchdog announced last month that seven companies that produced salted, red-yolk duck eggs used potentially cancer-causing red dyes.
In 2004, at least 12 infants died from malnutrition after drinking phony formula in a city in the eastern province of Anhui. More than 200 babies suffered wasted limbs and swollen heads — common symptoms of malnutrition.
The Taizhou factory, which opened in September 2005, was ordered shut down but continued operating at night, the Shanghai Daily said. It sold its product to retailers across the country, who sold it to clients, including hotels and restaurants, it said.
In a recent night raid, officers found 83,000 pounds of raw materials and 11,600 pounds of lard, the newspaper said without providing any more details.
"Some was recycled edible grease, such as oil refined from swill and cooked oil," it said. "Some was grease rendered from sewage, and some was recycled industrial grease."
By law, only pure fat from hogs can be used to produce edible lard, the newspaper said.
Samples from the Fanchang factory showed an acid value more than 11 times higher than the national limit, it said.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Me and Santa
I found this old picture of me and Santa, taken when I was a kid. Thought I would post it, well, cuz it's just so funny.Thursday, November 30, 2006
Baby it's cold outside.
Boy it has sure turned cold here lately. It seems like we had about 2 or 3 weeks of fall then it jumped right into winter. It got into the high 20's last night and there was frost on the ground when I went out to my car this morning. When I was a kid, I remember frost as being something fun to play around in. Nowadays, it is just another reason for my bones to hurt - lol. At least when it is so cold outside it keeps the fog away.
Speaking of cold, I think I am getting one. My throat has been sore for the last few days and now my head hurts and my ears are getting a little plugged up. And my nose is all stuffy. I hate getting colds. But at least I don't have pneumonia like my brother has. Still, I feel like crap and wish I was home in my warm bed instead of freezing here at work. Why's it gotta be so cold in here???
All this coldness has given me a cold heart, too. I am not thrilled about Christmas coming up. I am not in the celebrating mood. It just won't be the same this year without my grandma. We have always had Christmas with my grandma, it seems. And to have it without her just seems wrong. And sad. I feel a little disillusioned and down about the whole holidays thing right now. But maybe that's just because I have a headache and am mad about that - lol.
Speaking of cold, I think I am getting one. My throat has been sore for the last few days and now my head hurts and my ears are getting a little plugged up. And my nose is all stuffy. I hate getting colds. But at least I don't have pneumonia like my brother has. Still, I feel like crap and wish I was home in my warm bed instead of freezing here at work. Why's it gotta be so cold in here???
All this coldness has given me a cold heart, too. I am not thrilled about Christmas coming up. I am not in the celebrating mood. It just won't be the same this year without my grandma. We have always had Christmas with my grandma, it seems. And to have it without her just seems wrong. And sad. I feel a little disillusioned and down about the whole holidays thing right now. But maybe that's just because I have a headache and am mad about that - lol.
Some may say that I'm a dreamer...
| You Are a Dreaming Soul |
 Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul |
Christmas's top 20 most unwanted
20 Things I don't want for Christmas:
1. A box of nails
2. A giant poster of Steven Seagal
3. Frozen asparagus
4. A year-supply of Rice-A-Roni
5. Nose hair clippers
6. Tickets to see Barbara Streisand
7. A bottle of Drain-O
8. Ballroom dancing lessons taught by a man named Bubba
9. OJ's book
10. Screech's sex tape
11. A book on advanced geometry
12. Britney Spears's hair extensions
13. Wet Dog scented candles
14. A half-eaten bag of Cheetos
15. A free haircut by Howie Mandel's hair stylist
16. A rusty can opener
17. Tickets to see the world's largest lint collection
18. Kevin Federline's CD
19. A Mike Tyson fridge magnet
20. Parachute pants
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Alert reader Doe Clark sent in a newspaper article with this headline: 'Officials Crack Down on 'Bathtub' Cheese.' The article states: 'San Diego County health officials warned against buying or eating cheeses made in bathtubs that were being sold door to door.' It is not totally clear, from this wording, whether it is the cheese that is being sold door to door, or the bathtubs. To be on the safe side, we urge residents of San Diego Country to avoid both bathing AND eating suspicious cheese."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(My God is an angry God.)
Gun-waving sermon lands pastor in pokey
MOUNT AIRY, N.C. - The pastor of a Mount Airy church accused of brandishing a gun as part of his sermon is free on bond after being charged with possession of a firearm by a felon.
Jerry Wayne "Dusty" Whitaker, 58, of Mount Airy, was convicted in Virginia in 1990 of conspiracy to distribute cocaine and possession of a firearm during drug trafficking.
Members of Whitaker's Victory Baptist Church say they had no knowledge of his criminal background. Whitaker told them he was a retired Virginia state police officer and a retired U.S. marshal who was injured in the line of duty, said Garry Scearce, trustee chairman at Victory Baptist.
Whitaker denies ever telling anyone he was a marshal, but said he worked as a police officer for six years in Montgomery County, Va.
In September, Whitaker reportedly brought a handgun and a shoulder holster to a service.
"He was driving home his point," Scearce said. "He said he was no longer a pistol-toting U.S. marshal.' He was a pastor."
Whitaker said the gun was a toy prop.
"I use parables," he said. "Once I pretended to be a blind man with a cane, glasses and can with coins. Why didnt they arrest me for impersonating a blind man?"
Whitaker was arrested during church services Sunday. He was released Monday after posting a $20,000 bond.
___
Information from: Mount Airy News, http://www.mtairynews.com
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Caption This!
Wait a minute. Aren't there supposed to be seven of us? And aren't we supposed to be swimming?
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Holiday Gift Guide:
Sporty Electric Bug-Zapping Racket
"Here's the ideal gift for the person on your holiday gift list who enjoys playing sports AND killing flying insects. This is a tennis-racket-shaped device that, thanks to the scientific miracle of batteries, has electricity in it, so that when you swat a flying insect, the insect is instantly electrocuted! OK, maybe not instantly. We tested this device extensively last summer while on vacation, and we found that, if you managed to make contact with a flying insect, the zapper tended to stun it, rather than kill it, so it wound up sort of flopping around on the floor. The bad news was, this meant that you had to then kneel down on the floor and finish the insect off with more zapping. The good news was, we were with a seven-year-old boy who really enjoyed doing this. Be advised that this device is capable of delivering a mildly painful shock to a human. Be further advised that this feature is especially popular with seven-year-old boys."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Those must have been some roomy pants!)
Owner: Man tried to hide guitar in pants
DE QUEEN, Ark. - The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser's clothing tipped off a music store owner that there might be a crime in progress. Clifton Lovell, owner of Guitars and Cadillacs on U.S. Highway 71 in De Queen, was talking with a customer last week when he saw Conatser, 29, walking out of the store.
"I saw him walking out to his pickup truck and the bulges in his leather jacket. I said, 'Hey what have you got there,'" Clifton Lovell said.
He said Conatser, 29, replied, "Nothing."
Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."
Conatser then removed a solid body electric guitar from his pants leg and from underneath his jacket.
"The neck of the guitar was almost down to his knee and the back of the guitar was almost up to his neck. It wasn't hard to spot. There was no way he could sit down or get into the pickup," Lovell said.
With the guitar back in the store, Lovell didn't intend to call the sheriff's office. But then he discovered a wireless sound system was missing. Lovell called the Sevier County Sheriff's Department and gave a description of Conatser and his pickup.
Deputy Jeff Wahls called Conatser's father, who told Wahls how to find the house.
The deputy found Conatser at home, where Conatser went to his bedroom closet and retrieved the sound system, Wahls said.
"He made a statement saying he needed the property because he needed to make ends meet," Wahls said.
Conatser was arrested on a charge of theft of property under $500 for the sound equipment because the guitar had already been returned to the shop owner. The sound system was worth about $200.
"This is a new one on me and I couldn't believe he tried," Lovell said. "The strings were pressed down and he didn't make any noise."
Conatser was issued a misdemeanor citation and released. Conatser can resolve the charge by paying a fine or he can contest the charge in Sevier County District Court.
___
Information from: Texarkana Gazette, http://www.texarkanagazette.com
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I'm making progress with my weight lifting: This very morning I 'bench-pressed' a total weight of - and here, to make it look more impressive, I will use the metric system - 4,082,331.33 centigrams. Lying on my back, I was able to lift this weight INTO THE AIR, then bring it back down onto my chest, thus completing a 'bench press.' Unfortunately, I couldn't get the weight back off my chest. Seriously: I was trapped. My wife had come to rescue me. She thought it was very funny; I heard her laughing all the way to the kitchen. I bet the pickle jar was laughing, too. I will kill it with a hammer, if I can ever lift my arms again."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Even I know this wouldn't be a good idea.)
Man who tried to kill John Paul asks to meet Pope
ISTANBUL (Reuters) - The man who tried to kill Pope John Paul II in 1981 wants a day's leave from jail to discuss theology with Pope Benedict when he visits Turkey this week, his lawyer said on Monday.
"I (Mehmet Ali Agca) asked the Turkish government to release me for one day so that I can discuss theological issues with (Pope) Ratzinger," Agca said in comments passed on by his lawyer Mustafa Demirbag at a news conference.
"I want to discuss with him religious and mystic issues," Demirbag quoted Agca as saying.
Agca is serving a sentence for the killing of a newspaper editor in the 1970s and for robbery and is scheduled to be released from prison in 2010.
The former right-wing gangster served 19 years in an Italian prison for his attempted assassination of John Paul, before being pardoned at the late pope's behest in 2000 and extradited to Turkey.
The lead-up to Benedict's first visit to a Muslim country has been peppered with controversy. Turkish government leaders have been accused of reluctance to meet him, street protests have erupted against the visit and a gun was fired outside the Italian consulate in Istanbul.
Agca's motives for shooting Pope John Paul in Rome's St. Peter's Square remain a mystery. Some believe he was a hitman for Soviet-era East European security services alarmed by the Polish-born pontiff's fierce opposition to communism.
Monday, November 27, 2006
No more turkey!!!
Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone, leaving behind it masses of turkey bones and leftovers for days and days. It also left me with a little indigestion, but what can you expect when you have what seems like 10 pounds of food on your plate? There is a reason why Thanksgiving comes once a year. If it came any more than that, we would have all died of overeating by now.
My mom is so turkeyed out that she said she is going to make spaghetti for Christmas. Yep. Spaghetti. I don't mind. I think if I have one more bite of turkey, I will start to sprout wings and a beak.
We didn't do much for Turkey Day. We just sat around, ate turkey and watched football....well, we kinda flipped between football and James Bond ("We" = "my dad" - he was the one with the remote). The next day, I ventured out into the dangerous world of shopping. I didn't go til around 6 pm, and by then, all the crazy earlybirds had shopped themselves out, leaving me parking spots and elbow room in the stores. I simply can't deal with crowded malls and parking lots any more. I have no patience.
My folks already gave me my Christmas presents. Yeah, I know it is early, but hey, I like presents! hehe. They gave me a portable DVD player and a photo printer for my digital camera, and a cool Atari thing you hook up to the tv and play. It's like totally retro, dude! It even has the old-style Atari joysticks.
Sadly, the photo printer wasn't compatible with my camera so I took it back to Target and exchanged it for one of those all-in-one copier/printer/scanner deals that can also print photos. I finally got it hooked up (after fighting with tangled cords and dust - oh man, the dust!). And after seeing how dusty it was under the desk, I proceeded to dust the rest of my room....then the bathroom....then the living room. All of that seems normal enough, but when you tell people that you were up til 3 am dusting and cleaning, they start to look at you a little funny. I never said I was normal though.
My mom is so turkeyed out that she said she is going to make spaghetti for Christmas. Yep. Spaghetti. I don't mind. I think if I have one more bite of turkey, I will start to sprout wings and a beak.
We didn't do much for Turkey Day. We just sat around, ate turkey and watched football....well, we kinda flipped between football and James Bond ("We" = "my dad" - he was the one with the remote). The next day, I ventured out into the dangerous world of shopping. I didn't go til around 6 pm, and by then, all the crazy earlybirds had shopped themselves out, leaving me parking spots and elbow room in the stores. I simply can't deal with crowded malls and parking lots any more. I have no patience.
My folks already gave me my Christmas presents. Yeah, I know it is early, but hey, I like presents! hehe. They gave me a portable DVD player and a photo printer for my digital camera, and a cool Atari thing you hook up to the tv and play. It's like totally retro, dude! It even has the old-style Atari joysticks.
Sadly, the photo printer wasn't compatible with my camera so I took it back to Target and exchanged it for one of those all-in-one copier/printer/scanner deals that can also print photos. I finally got it hooked up (after fighting with tangled cords and dust - oh man, the dust!). And after seeing how dusty it was under the desk, I proceeded to dust the rest of my room....then the bathroom....then the living room. All of that seems normal enough, but when you tell people that you were up til 3 am dusting and cleaning, they start to look at you a little funny. I never said I was normal though.
Caption This!
"Dude, I think he's dead..."
"Nah....that's how he always looks."
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Frank Florio sent in a obituary-page announcement from the Watertown (New York) Times that states: 'To everyone and anyone who was in any way involved in my husband's passing, a heartfelt thank-you."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Well, color me ironic.)
Official loses big skimming gambling funds
CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - A top anti-addiction official in the western Canadian province of Alberta skimmed nearly half a million dollars from his employer to feed his own gambling habit, the province's top auditor said on Friday.
Auditor General Fred Dunn alleged in a report that Lloyd Carr, who ran the tobacco-reduction unit of the Alberta Alcohol and Drug Abuse Commission, used five false contracts to scam C$441,298 ($390,000) from the government agency, which funds programs and treatment services for alcohol, drug and gambling addictions.
The auditor's report said Carr, who could not be reached for comment, had admitted to misappropriating the funds and using part of the cash to put a downpayment on a house, pay household expenses and repay a vehicle loan.
About C$116,000 was said to have been withdrawn from automatic teller machines in casinos.
Carr was fired in September. Criminal charges have not been filed, although police have been notified.
($1=$1.13 Canadian)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
This post is censored for your protection
I just finished watching Titanic on some cable tv channel (TNT or TBS or something). Yeah, I know....total chick flick....but then, I am a chick so it is ok. Of course, it left me teary-eyed....no, not from the part where Jack gets all icy and blue and then dead....no. The part that gets me is when the old Rose goes to the end of the boat and throws the necklace into the ocean. Why does that part always get me? I have NO clue. Yet it does. Every time.
Anyway, the reason for this post was not to tell the world how much of a bawl baby I am. No. The thing that made me write this is how stupid and silly censors can be (like my alliteration there? hehe). Now I can (sorta) understand why they would block out the topless scene in the movie. It is cable, but it ain't no HBO. But is there really a reason why they would have to blur out the boobs on a drawing??? Yes. You heard that right. When they showed the drawing of Rose (sans clothes), they blurred out her boobs. It was a drawing for Pete's sake! Paper and charcoal. Ugh. How stupid. Yet, in the scene where Jack is drawing Rose, they show him drawing her boobs....nipples and all. Good lord. Censors have gone bananas!
Yet, they still allow Steven Seagal movies to run on tv. How about censoring lousy acting, people?
Nevermind. That would probably eliminate about half of the shows on tv.
Anyway, the reason for this post was not to tell the world how much of a bawl baby I am. No. The thing that made me write this is how stupid and silly censors can be (like my alliteration there? hehe). Now I can (sorta) understand why they would block out the topless scene in the movie. It is cable, but it ain't no HBO. But is there really a reason why they would have to blur out the boobs on a drawing??? Yes. You heard that right. When they showed the drawing of Rose (sans clothes), they blurred out her boobs. It was a drawing for Pete's sake! Paper and charcoal. Ugh. How stupid. Yet, in the scene where Jack is drawing Rose, they show him drawing her boobs....nipples and all. Good lord. Censors have gone bananas!
Yet, they still allow Steven Seagal movies to run on tv. How about censoring lousy acting, people?
Nevermind. That would probably eliminate about half of the shows on tv.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"The 'hot' new Thanksgiving culinary trend is to cook turkeys in big deep-fat fryers, which are hugely popular because they give guys an excuse to spend Thanksgiving outside drinking beer and messing around with a device that could potentially destroy an entire neighborhood. Now that guys have decided to become seriously involved in Thanksgiving food preparation, it's only a matter of time before they come up with a recipe for mashed potatoes that involves a grenade launcher."
* * * *
"Thanksgiving is not merely a time of eating until we are big, fat, bloated carbohydrate balloons lying motionless on the sofa watching the Detroit Lions while actual gravy oozes from our pores. Thanksgiving is also a time of giving thanks - as the Pilgrims did so many centuries ago - for the fact that the malls are open on Friday. Otherwise we'd have to spend another day with our loved ones, not to mention toxic levels of leftovers, and the number of domestic drumstick assaults would be even higher than it is."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Oh where, oh where have my little dogs gone?)
150-200 dogs removed from S.D. house
PROVO, S.D. - The Humane Society of the Black Hills removed 150-200 dogs from the rural residence of an elderly woman at Provo in southwest South Dakota.
Fall River County Sheriff Jeff Tarrell said he contacted the woman earlier this month after the Humane Society received a complaint and she agreed to give up the dogs.
Tarrell said she had taken in stray dogs for more than 30 years.
"It got to the point where people would actually drop the dogs off near the place or abandon them (near there)," he said. "People were essentially taking advantage. They knew she would take in stray dogs."
Suz Phillips, director of operations for the Humane Society, said the dogs were overall in good health.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Caption This!
Ahhhhh...it's about time someone got to that part!
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Random Fact of The Day
During the 1600's, boys and girls in England wore dresses until they were about seven years old.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Thanksgiving is that very special holiday when we take a break from our hectic everyday lives to spend quality time with our loved ones, rediscovering all the reasons why we don't actually live with them. But Thanksgiving is also a spiritual time of quiet reflection - a time when we pause to remember, as generations have remembered before us, that an improperly cooked turkey is - in the words of the US Department of Agriculture - 'a ticking Meat Bomb of Death."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Couldn't she just have sent him flowers instead?)
Fla. woman accused faking own abduction
BARTOW, Fla. - A 31-year-old woman is accused of faking her own abduction to win back an ex-boyfriend. Gretchen Morales was arrested Monday and charged with filing a false police report, child neglect and contributing to the delinquency of a child, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.
Morales' baby sitter reported Morales was missing on Thursday after she arrived to find the front door unlocked and her not home, The Ledger of Lakeland reported Tuesday.
Judd said Morales told detectives plans for the abduction came to her in dreams since she and her ex-boyfriend, Arnulfo Corpus, 33, split. Corpus is the father of Morales' 2-year-old daughter.
Her two children had been left alone and were still sleeping when the baby sitter arrived, and deputies searched the woods behind Morales' home for 12 hours Thursday looking for her.
St. Petersburg police found her about 10 p.m. Thursday after she called 911 from a drug store, claiming she had been abducted.
Detectives who interviewed her at a hospital didn't believe her story that two men grabbed her from her garage and forced her into a car.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Not everybody is comfortable with the idea of eating turkeys, which are, let's face it, living organisms, like dogs or celery. You may wonder: Is there a more humanitarian option that you can serve for Thanksgiving dinner? There certainly is: It's tofu, a semi-foodlike substance secreted by soybeans as a defense mechanism. Tofu can be used as a high-protein meat substitute, as well as a denture adhesive or tile grout. In its natural state, tofu is tasteless and odorless, but if you form it into a turkey-shaped lump, season it well, add gravy, and bake it for two hours in a shallow pan at 350 degrees, you can also use it for minor driveway repairs."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(What will people NOT drink??)
Beverage firm offers pea-flavored soda
SEATTLE (Reuters) - After introducing the world to new soda flavors like fish taco and salmon, Seattle specialty beverage maker Jones Soda Co. is offering a new flavor: Green pea.
Green pea, along with other unusual sodas such as turkey and gravy, dinner roll, sweet potato and antacid flavor, will be part of the company's $10 to $15 "holiday pack" of bottled drinks available nationwide.
Peter van Stolk, chief executive of Jones Soda, said on Monday the collection of strange-flavored sodas usually sells out quickly, even though he can not stomach the drinks. Past flavors included broccoli casserole, corn on the cob and Brussel sprout.
"Why people buy it is beyond me. I can't drink a bottle of this stuff," said van Stolk.
Jones Soda, which sells traditional sodas alongside more exotic flavors like fufu berry and green apple, first introduced the holiday soda pack in 2003, gaining notoriety for its turkey and gravy flavor soda.
"We have the market share leader in turkey-flavored beverages," said van Stolk. "We know we can't compete with Coke or Pepsi by playing their game, but we know they're not going to come out with a turkey flavor or antacid flavor."
Asked if there were any flavors that were off limits, van Stolk said he put his foot down when it came to curried chicken flavor.
"Fish taco was just nasty and we tried curried chicken. That was just wrong," he said.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Random Thought For The Evening
I heard on E! a few minutes ago that they have some poll going asking people to vote for their favorite Carter to watch. Asking me which is my favorite Carter to watch is like asking me which size of fork I would like to poke my eyes out with.
How about none????
How about none????
Here comes the fog...here comes the fog, and I say, it's not all right!
Well fog season is officially here. It is a little after 11 am and it is still foggy outside. It was pretty dreary and drab all weekend long, too. Gosh, Bakersfield is just SO pretty in the winter.
It is a good thing I am a crappy sleeper since the power went out last night. I woke up and looked at my clock and it was blinking "3:24 am." When I turned on the light and looked at my watch, it was actually 5:50 am. I would have been SO late to work had I not woke up. I heard that South High School was actually closed this morning due to a power outage, and several schools were on a fog delay. Good thing my power was actually on this morning. I would have had a hard time seeing to get ready for work - hehe.
I had a dream last night that I couldn't fall asleep. Weird, huh? It's like when you have a dream that you were having a dream. Or am I the only one who has those sorts of dreams? Anyway, I thought that was kind of appropriate since I was, in fact, actually having a hard time falling asleep last night. The last time I looked at my clock before I fell asleep last night,it was 12:50 am, and I know I laid in bed for quite some time after that before falling asleep. Sunday nights suck like that.
I can't believe it is almost Thanksgiving. This year has gone by so fast. I am not really looking forward to the holidays though. We always spent at least one of the holidays (Thanksgiving or Christmas) with my grandma. Now that she is gone....I dunno. It just won't be the same without her I miss her. My mom said that if my cousin Debbie has a get-together at her house for Christmas, we might go up there. Otherwise, it will just be the 4 of us.
I want a nap! I am so sleepy.
It is a good thing I am a crappy sleeper since the power went out last night. I woke up and looked at my clock and it was blinking "3:24 am." When I turned on the light and looked at my watch, it was actually 5:50 am. I would have been SO late to work had I not woke up. I heard that South High School was actually closed this morning due to a power outage, and several schools were on a fog delay. Good thing my power was actually on this morning. I would have had a hard time seeing to get ready for work - hehe.
I had a dream last night that I couldn't fall asleep. Weird, huh? It's like when you have a dream that you were having a dream. Or am I the only one who has those sorts of dreams? Anyway, I thought that was kind of appropriate since I was, in fact, actually having a hard time falling asleep last night. The last time I looked at my clock before I fell asleep last night,it was 12:50 am, and I know I laid in bed for quite some time after that before falling asleep. Sunday nights suck like that.
I can't believe it is almost Thanksgiving. This year has gone by so fast. I am not really looking forward to the holidays though. We always spent at least one of the holidays (Thanksgiving or Christmas) with my grandma. Now that she is gone....I dunno. It just won't be the same without her I miss her. My mom said that if my cousin Debbie has a get-together at her house for Christmas, we might go up there. Otherwise, it will just be the 4 of us.
I want a nap! I am so sleepy.
Random Fact of The Day
New York's Central Park is nearly twice the size of the entire country of Monaco.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I applaud the World Toilet Organization for its efforts to improve the world's public toilets. I think this concept could be used in tourism advertising ('Korea - Come for the History: Stay for the Public Toilets'). You probably can't attend the summit, but you CAN take part in (I am STILL not making this up) World Toilet Day on November 19. Let's all take a few moments to observe this very special occasion. And then let's wash our hands."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Sometimes, it's just better to leave the freckles alone.)
Fishy freckle remover inflames Chinese consumers
BEIJING (Reuters) - China has banned TV ads for a freckle remover, touted as being so good it could remove spots from fish, when it not only killed fish but led to rashes, blisters and skin inflammation on the humans who tried it.
Advertisements promoting "Magic Freckle Removing Gel", produced by a Shanghai company, used a celebrity, bogus experts and fish to endorse the cosmetic, but fish exposed to the gel by a research institute later died from poisoning, the Beijing News said.
"(The institute) carried out a test washing the fish's spots in the gel. Two fish died successively on the third and sixth days," the paper said, citing an investigative report on Chinese state television.
Experts later found that three different fish had been used in the advertisement to make the cleanser appear effective, the paper said.
Claims that the cleanser was produced by an American company using "American technology" were also found to be false.
The gel used a plant-based compound often used in traditional Chinese medicine to reduce fever and phlegm, but its claim that it had spot-removing properties was "unscientific", the paper said.
"Not only can it not remove spots, it also has a certain amount of poison," the paper said.
Consumers in Shanghai, Beijing and several Chinese provinces had complained of "rashes, skin inflammation, blistering, coloured spots and other adverse reactions", after using the product, the paper said.
China's trade watchdog, the State Administration of Commerce and Industry, had banned the ad and ordered provincial offices to investigate, the paper said.
The advertisements were no longer on television, but Internet sales were still available, the paper said.
China is attempting to crack down on false and misleading advertising amid rising consumer fury stemming from a spate of recent health scares, but loose administration and approval procedures have resulted in a number of bogus and unsafe products going to market.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
People Magazine got it all wrong....
THIS is what should have been on the cover...
Is there a doctor in the house? hehe
Is there a doctor in the house? hehe
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Random Fact of The Day
In America in 1977, the punishment for smuggling marijiuana was 15 years less than the punishment for smuggling coffee.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"The only way to be sure you've killed all the bacteria in your Thanksgiving turkey is to cook it until a meat thermometer inserted into the breast melts, indicating that the turkey has attained the same internal temperature as the sun. 'Basically,' advises the surgeon general, 'you want to be serving your family a sixteen-pound charcoal briquette.' Even then you should keep a flamethrower handy."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(First it was snakes on a plane...)
Crocs found in man's bag at airport
MANILA, Philippines - A Filipino man who flew home from Cambodia said he was carrying live fish in his carryon luggage, until a check of the bag at Manila airport revealed three 1.5-foot long crocodiles, officials said Wednesday.
The head of the Manila International Airport Authority said it wasn't clear how Enrique Yu Castillo, 50, was able to carry the Siamese crocodiles from Phnom Penh to Singapore to Manila on Monday night.
The crocodiles are on an endangered species list and their importation is prohibited, airport manager Alfonso Cusi said in a statement.
He said charges were being readied against Castillo, while the reptiles were turned over to the Department of Environment and Natural Resources.
Castillo had earlier sought a permit to import the exotic animals but his application was denied, said Teddy Aguir, from the environment department's Wildlife Traffic Monitoring unit at the airport.
Airport authorities had been on a lookout for Castillo since last week, when the Protected Areas and Wildlife Bureau alerted them on the possibility that Castillo might try to sneak in the crocodiles, Aguir said.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Not saying I did it, but if I did it....
Just when I thought I have heard the stupidest thing ever, I hear something even more ridiculous. I heard that OJ Simpson is going to talk about the murders of his ex-wife and Ron Goldman. But he isn't going to talk about how the murders affected his life or how "shocked" he was to hear about them. No. He is going to tell people how he WOULD have killed them IF he had killed them. Ummmm......I don't know a whole lot, but even I know this is a really, REALLY stupid idea. I mean, if you were innocent of a crime (and no, I am not saying I think he is innocent - Hell, no), would you go on tv and write a book about how you would have killed people??
We all know OJ did it.
I am waiting for Kevin Federline's book to come out.... If I Had Talent, This Is What I Would Do With It.
We all know OJ did it.
I am waiting for Kevin Federline's book to come out.... If I Had Talent, This Is What I Would Do With It.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"An alert reader brought to my attention the World Toilet Organization, a group dedicated to improving the world's public toilets, with a website at worldtoilet.org. ('Org' is a sound made by many of the world's public toilets.) The site features some 'hot topics' presented at their World Toilet Summit including 'Toilets as Tourism Attraction,' 'Toilets as Marketing Tools,' and 'Generating Revenue Through Advertisements in Good Toilets.' I think the World Toilet Summit is a great idea, because most of the world's public toilets, in a word, stink. I'm not saying the United States is perfect in this department. We've made some serious mistakes, the worst being the introduction of 'low-flow' toilets, which clog when asked to handle anything larger than, say, a molecule."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Now, I'm not saying I did it, but....)
O.J. Simpson to discuss killings
LOS ANGELES - Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.
The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.
Simpson has agreed to an "unrestricted" interview with book publisher Judith Regan, Fox said.
"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."
The interview will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book, published by Regan, "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed."
In a video clip on the network's Web site, an off-screen interviewer says to Simpson, "You wrote 'I have never seen so much blood in my life.'"
"I don't think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood," Simpson responds.
Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.
Messages left with Simpson and his attorney Yale Galanter were not immediately returned.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Random Fact of The Day
It takes about 63,000 trees to make the newsprint for the average Sunday edition of The New York Times.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"For all the flaws of America's public toilets, they stand head and shoulders above those of much of the rest of the world. In parts of Europe, when you enter a public restroom, you often find yourself face-to-face with some hideous dripping slime-covered contraption originally built by Vikings out of petrified mastodon bones. And as if that's not scary enough, sometimes there's a lurking 'attendant' who might belong to a completely different gender from yourself, and who expects you to tip her even though it's clear that neither she nor anybody else has ever actually cleaned the restroom, as evidenced by the presence of bacteria the size of wolverines."
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"For all the flaws of America's public toilets, they stand head and shoulders above those of much of the rest of the world. In parts of Europe, when you enter a public restroom, you often find yourself face-to-face with some hideous dripping slime-covered contraption originally built by Vikings out of petrified mastodon bones. And as if that's not scary enough, sometimes there's a lurking 'attendant' who might belong to a completely different gender from yourself, and who expects you to tip her even though it's clear that neither she nor anybody else has ever actually cleaned the restroom, as evidenced by the presence of bacteria the size of wolverines."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(They don't call him Quick Draw for nothing.)
Car salesman's quick draw foils robbery
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - The bandit should have paid closer attention to the used car salesman's "Friends of the NRA" ball cap before pulling his gun. Auto dealer Greg "Lumpy" Lambert, a Knox County commissioner, said a young man walked onto his sales lot Saturday and was determined to buy a 2005 Ford Focus.
Lambert said he became suspicious during the test drive when the man didn't want to haggle over price or even ask for a mechanical inspection.
Presented with the sales paperwork, the man pulled a .25-caliber handgun from his pocket, apparently to rob him, the commissioner said.
Lambert, a National Rifle Association member who has a ball cap from the group and has offered free rifles with car purchases in the past, was ready with his own .380-caliber pistol.
"I think we probably leveled our sights close to the same time," Lambert said. "I think I got a bit of a drop on him. I told him to drop his weapon, and he said he didn't want trouble."
The suspect fled, but left behind his driver's license.
Kane Stackhouse, 19, was charged Sunday with attempted aggravated robbery and was being held in jail with bond set at $15,000 bond, the Knox County Sheriff's office said.
Lambert acknowledged the suspect never asked for money or made demands.
"I didn't give him a chance to," Lambert said. "It was a tense situation, and a little scary."
___
Information from: The Knoxville News Sentinel, http://www.knoxnews.com
Monday, November 13, 2006
Stuff (I know...it is just SUCH a creative title)
Well, here it is, Monday again. We were supposed to get a new worker today, but for some unknown reason, she unexpectedly resigned this morning. I don't know what happened, but I hope she is ok. I got her cases, so I have been working on cases all day. Big fun. One thing about this job is that it is never boring - hehe.
Nothing much happened over the weekend. It was supposed to rain on Saturday, but I didn't see much, if any, rain. The winter is a'coming though. It is getting colder and colder. The highs are in the 60's and lows in the 40's. And pretty soon, the fog will come, bringing with it bad drivers everywhere. 'Tis the accident season.
I did get to work with Photoshop some more. Here is a little turkey I made (since it is almost Turkey Day and all)...
Ain't he cute? I just love Photoshop.
It's back to work time. Blah.
Nothing much happened over the weekend. It was supposed to rain on Saturday, but I didn't see much, if any, rain. The winter is a'coming though. It is getting colder and colder. The highs are in the 60's and lows in the 40's. And pretty soon, the fog will come, bringing with it bad drivers everywhere. 'Tis the accident season.
I did get to work with Photoshop some more. Here is a little turkey I made (since it is almost Turkey Day and all)...
Ain't he cute? I just love Photoshop.
It's back to work time. Blah.
Caption This!
If someone sings "Row, row, row your boat" to me one more time, I am gonna row, row, row my boat straight up his ass.
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Public restrooms should be clearly marked with signs that say MEN or WOMEN. If there have to be symbols instead of words, the man symbol should clearly be a man, and the woman symbol should clearly be a woman wearing a giant, unattractive 'A-line' style skirt. Theme restaurants should NOT use cutesy names like 'Sheilas,' 'Caballeros,' 'Colleens,' 'Galoots,' etc; nor should they use ambiguous drawings that can be misunderstood in dim lighting by a person who has a couple of vodka gimlets and thus finds himself barging into the ladies' room, not that I have done this more than twice."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Maybe he was out of stamps.)
Absentee Florida ballot sent with precious stamp
MIAMI (Reuters) - A Florida voter may have unwittingly lost hundreds of thousands of dollars by using an extremely rare stamp to mail an absentee ballot in Tuesday's congressional election, a government official said on Friday.
The 1918 Inverted Jenny stamp, which takes its name from an image of a biplane accidentally printed upside-down, turned up on Tuesday night in Fort Lauderdale, where election officials were inspecting ballots from parts of south Florida, Broward County Commissioner John Rodstrom told Reuters.
Only 100 of the stamps have ever been found, making them one of the top prizes of all philately.
Rodstrom, a member of the county's Canvassing Board, said he spotted the red and blue Inverted Jenny on a large envelope with two stamps from the 1930s and another dating to World War Two.
The nominal value of the four vintage U.S. Post Office stamps was 87 cents, he said.
"I thought, 'Oh my God, I know that stamp, I've seen that stamp before,'" said Rodstrom, 54, who dabbled in stamp collecting as a boy. "I'd forgotten the name. I just remembered there was a stamp with an upside-down biplane on it and that it was a very rare, rare stamp."
Rodstrom said he did not examine the envelope's postmark, but it had no return address and the ballot was disqualified because it gave no clue as to the identity of the voter.
Election officials have been too busy certifying the outcome of Tuesday's race to have the stamp authenticated, Rodstrom said.
A block of four of the stamps sold for almost $3 million last year, however, and Rodstrom said the one that turned up Tuesday night could fetch about $500,000 for Broward County at auction.
"It's now government property," he said.
A postmark on a stamp usually would hurt its value but Rodstrom said the story behind this one -- plus the fact that it is joined by other old stamps on the envelope -- might actually increase its worth.
Rodstrom said he doubted the stamp would ever be handed over to someone claiming to have mailed it inadvertently.
"It would be hard to prove, I guess you would have to say it was a person who had Alzheimer's," he said.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"It is a tragic but true statistical fact that every Thanksgiving, undercooked turkeys claim the lives of an estimated 53 billion Americans (source: Dan Rather). Sometimes the cause is deadly bacteria; sometimes - in cases of extreme undercooking - the turkey actually springs up from the carving platter and pecks the would-be carver to death."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Paper covers rock...scissors cut paper...rock breaks scissors...or something like that.)
Hundreds to compete for rock, paper, scissors title
TORONTO (Reuters) - Think rock, paper, scissors is a children's game? Think again. Top players from around the globe will gather in Toronto this weekend to compete for a C$10,000 (4,636 pounds) prize and the title of world champion.
More than 500 contestants, including national champions from Australia, Norway and New Zealand, are expected to attend.
Tournament organizer Graham Walker said players will have to steel themselves against psychological pressure as players typically form teams to rally each other.
"The team will surround the arena, provide moral support and usually try to intimidate the opponent," said Walker, who is also co-author of "The Official Rock Paper Scissors Guide."
The simple game is often used to make decisions and resolve basic conflicts.
Author Ian Fleming had his fictional secret agent James Bond play the game in Japan, in "You Only Live Twice."
Players smack their fists into their palms and count to three before making one of three hand signals: a fist (rock), flat hand (paper) or two fingers (scissors). Paper covers rock, scissors cut paper and rock breaks scissors.
Enthusiasts disagree about the history of the game, but it is believed to have been played for centuries in Japan.
The Paper Scissors Stone Club was founded in England in 1842 and provided an environment free from the long arm of the law where enthusiasts could come together and play for honour, according to the World RPS (Rock Paper Scissors) Society Web page (www.worldrps.com).
In 1918, the name was changed to World RPS Club to reflect the growing international representation and its headquarters moved from London to Toronto. In 1925 its membership topped 10,000.
The world championships have been held since 2002.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I am not a fan of those high-tech public toilets with the automatic sensors that either (a) become overexcited and flush themselves thirty-seven times before you even sit down, or (b) lapse into a coma, so that when you're done you find yourself waving your arms like a lunatic and loudly remarking, 'Well, I'm done!' in an effort to revive your toilet so it will flush and you can leave, while the people waiting in the stall wonder what kind of sick pervert thing you are doing in there."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(When you look up "stupid" in a dictionary, chances are, you will see this man's face.)
Man decides to speed in jail parking lot
STOCK ISLAND, Fla. - A Marathon man reportedly driving with a suspended license and carrying drugs picked the wrong place to speed: the parking lot of the Monroe County jail.
Deputies stopped Alvin Dean, 42, on Monday night after seeing a 2003 Dodge Caravan speed into the parking lot, The Key West Citizen reported.
Dean was allegedly carrying drugs in his pockets and charged with possessing marijuana, cocaine and drug paraphernalia. He was also issued a warning for speeding before being booked into the nearby jail.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
No surprises here...
Well, it finally happened. Britney Spears finally came to her senses and dumped that piece of trash, K-Fed. Not that comes as any surprise. Of course, it made all the headlines...Britney Spears Files For Divorce...Britney Dumps Kevin...etc. I just feel sorry for their kids. With a mom who dresses like a hooker and a dad who thinks he's a pimp, they are going to have an INTERESTING childhood, to say the least. Well at now at least Kevin can work on his "music" and his "acting career." God help us all.
Random Fact of The Day
A human baby is born with 300 bones. On the average, by the time he has reached adulthood, he will have only 206 bones. This is due to the fact that many small bones fuse together to form a single bone structure during the child's growth.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanently destroyed, consumers would then be free to go out and buy new devices, rather than have to fritter away years of their lives trying to have the old ones repaired at so-called factory service centers, which in fact consist of two men named Lester poking at the insides of broken electronic devices with cheap cigars and going, Lookit all them WIRES in there!"
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Next week, they are gonna do a study on the effects of toilet paper on the butt.)
Duct tape no magical cure for warts
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Duct tape does not work any better than doing nothing to cure warts in schoolchildren, Dutch researchers reported on Monday in a study that contradicts a popular theory about an easy way to get rid of the unattractive lumps.
The study of 103 children aged 4 to 12 showed the duct tape worked only slightly better than using a corn pad, a sticky cushion that does not actually touch the wart and which was considered to be a placebo.
"After 6 weeks, the warts of 8 children (16 percent) in the duct tape group and the warts of 3 children (6 percent) in the placebo group had disappeared," the researchers wrote in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.
They said this difference was not statistically significant.
In addition, some of the children who wore duct tape reported itching, rashes and other effects, although none of the children who wore corn pads did.
The researchers, led by Dr. Marloes de Haen of Maastricht University, expressed disappointment with their findings.
Warts are caused by a virus in the skin, and often clear up on their own. They can also be frozen off in a treatment called cryotherapy, or burned off chemically using a strong formulation of salicylic acid.
"Considering the serious discomfort of cryotherapy and the awkwardness of applying salicylic acid for a long time, simply applying tape would be a cheap and helpful alternative, especially in children," de Haen's team wrote.
In 2002, Dr. Dean Focht of Madigan Army Medical Center in Tacoma, Washington and colleagues reported in the same journal that using duct tape on warts worked better than cryotherapy.
The idea of using duct tape to treat warts quickly became common wisdom and is advocated widely on the Internet.
The Dutch researchers said that Focht's team did not actually examine their patients to determine if the warts had disappeared, but called them on the telephone to ask.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
It's like, unfair, ya'll
I heard something hilarious yesterday. I heard that a judge dismissed Britney Spears's lawsuit against some magazine, saying that publishing an article saying that Kevin and Britney made a sex tape was not defamatory to them. No...the judge dismissing the case was not the hilarious part. The hilarious part was the fact that they filed this lawsuit in the first place. I think the two of them have made asses enough of themselves on that piece of crap "reality" show Chaotic, to tarnish their image for the rest of kingdom come. How can you tarnish an image that is already tarnished to begin with? That is kind of like puking on a big puke stain that has already set in your carpet (ok, that was kind of gross, but have you seen Chaotic????) Perhaps Britney and Kevin should sue themselves for making that pile of crap show. Perhaps they should adopt some foreign babies and do work in Cambodia and Africa to make people forget that they were ever so crazy and trashy. Hey, it worked for Angelina Jolie.
I also heard something yesterday that pissed me off. I heard that stupid Rush Limbaugh said that Michael J Fox was just acting when he did that commercial about stem cell research and that he was exaggerating the effects of the disease and was probably off his meds. (OK, I had heard this before, but was too pissed about it at the time to write about it). Excuse me, Mr Dumbass, but Michael J Fox has Parkinson's Disease, and there is nothing funny about that. Even with meds, it doesn't make you all better. For example, I am sure if there was a pill to cure Foot-In-The-Mouth Syndrome, I am sure, even with the highest dose possible, Rush would still end up sounding like a jackass every now and then. How can somebody be so damned ignorant? I suppose Rush was just acting like a jackass when he said that. Or maybe it is the after effects of all those Oxycontin pills he took. Any way you look at it, Rush Limbaugh has proven, once again, that he is a total idiot.
I would like to slap his big, puffy, red face....and then have Michael J Fox take away all his painkillers....and then we could sit back, have a cold drink and watch him cry.
I also heard something yesterday that pissed me off. I heard that stupid Rush Limbaugh said that Michael J Fox was just acting when he did that commercial about stem cell research and that he was exaggerating the effects of the disease and was probably off his meds. (OK, I had heard this before, but was too pissed about it at the time to write about it). Excuse me, Mr Dumbass, but Michael J Fox has Parkinson's Disease, and there is nothing funny about that. Even with meds, it doesn't make you all better. For example, I am sure if there was a pill to cure Foot-In-The-Mouth Syndrome, I am sure, even with the highest dose possible, Rush would still end up sounding like a jackass every now and then. How can somebody be so damned ignorant? I suppose Rush was just acting like a jackass when he said that. Or maybe it is the after effects of all those Oxycontin pills he took. Any way you look at it, Rush Limbaugh has proven, once again, that he is a total idiot.
I would like to slap his big, puffy, red face....and then have Michael J Fox take away all his painkillers....and then we could sit back, have a cold drink and watch him cry.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?"
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Forget about tarnishing your image. It's already been there, done that.)
Judge dismisses Spears' suit against mag
LOS ANGELES - A judge has thrown out Britney Spears' lawsuit against celebrity magazine Us Weekly, ruling the pop star cannot be defamed by published rumors that she and her husband had made a sex tape and were worried about its release.
Superior Court Judge Lisa Hart Cole said Spears has "put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye" and it would be unlikely for the magazine article to be found defamatory.
Her decision to dismiss the $10 million lawsuit filed last year did not address whether the October 2005 story was true or false.
"The issue is whether it is defamatory to state that a husband and wife taped themselves engaging in consensual sex," Cole wrote in the decision issued last week. "The backdrop against which this issue must be addressed is that the plaintiff has publicly portrayed herself in a sexual way in her performances, in published photographs and in a reality show."
Spears' lawyer, Martin Singer, did not return a call Monday seeking comment.
Us said in a statement it stood by its reporting and was pleased with the decision.
The lawsuit stemmed from an article published Oct. 17, 2005, in the magazine's "Hot Stuff" column under the headline, "Brit & Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have a new worry: racy footage from 2004."
It claimed Spears and her husband, Kevin Federline, feared the release of a secret sex tape, which they had viewed with their estate planning lawyers. The article said that Spears gave a copy of the tape to lawyers on Sept. 30 and she and Federline were "acting goofy the whole time" while watching the video.
"There was no laughter, disgust or goofy behavior while watching the video in the company of lawyers because they did not watch any video, and because there is no such video," the lawsuit said.
Spears sued after Us refused to issue a retraction.
Spears, 24, married Federline, 28, in 2004. They have a 1-year-old son, Sean Preston, and an infant son, who was born Sept. 12. The couple have not confirmed the infant's name, which is reportedly Jayden James.
Federline has two children from a previous relationship.
Monday, November 06, 2006
I like Paintshop but I LOVE Photoshop
Over the weekend, I was playing around with Photoshop CS, and have come to love the program. I used to be a die-hard Paintshop fan, but Photoshop is growing on me. I love it! The only drawback is that it uses up a lot of memory and can make your computer lag (nothing that a little memory upgrade can't fix - hehe). I made a few things this weekend....a little snowman, a reindeer, a few Christmas trees ('tis nearly the season, ya know!) and I updated my Myspace pagewith cute little bees, flowers and beehives (that I also made up on Photoshop ... a few with the help of Paintshop, too). I like Paintshop because of its font viewer (gives a preview of the font in a box) and because how easy it is to texturize layers (I still haven't mastered Photoshop's texture feature yet). But Photoshop has a big edge over Paintshop because of how easy it is to use their actions. You can make a circle shape look like glass or gel or fabric, etc, with the click of one button. I made a Thanksgiving turkey using the felt feature and it came out so cute Photoshop also takes the cake when editing photos (getting rid of scratches, red-eye, etc). I will have to post some examples of stuff I made later on. The bees on my main Myspace page are some of my first attempts at making stuff on Photoshop. Oh yeah...having Animation Shop is also cool cuz you can make animated stuff as well....even though it is kinda time consuming to do it. But, hey, I have nothing else to do
If I had to pick one program over the other to recommend to someone, I might pick Paintshop, only because it seems to be more user-friendly. I had to buy a book on Photoshop (Photoshop CS For Dummies - lol). Plus Paintshop is a lot cheaper! (Paintshop is around $100 while Photoshop can run you anywhere from $300-$600...but you can get a free trial for 30 days for both programs). But I love both, and I have both programs. There is also Photoshop Elements, which is a great photo editor, but lacks the action tools that Photoshop CS has. It, too, is cheaper than Photoshop. It will only set you back about $30-$150 (depending on which version you get). Of course, I have that program too - lol. It came with my Wacom Drawing Tablet. It is a super easy program to use, and not nearly as daunting as Photoshop CS.
Now, if I could only find some way to use them while I am at work. That would be even better! But, somehow, I think my bosses would frown upon that
(yeah, I know this was a computer-geek blog entry, but so what! It is my blog. Whatevah. I do what I want!)
If I had to pick one program over the other to recommend to someone, I might pick Paintshop, only because it seems to be more user-friendly. I had to buy a book on Photoshop (Photoshop CS For Dummies - lol). Plus Paintshop is a lot cheaper! (Paintshop is around $100 while Photoshop can run you anywhere from $300-$600...but you can get a free trial for 30 days for both programs). But I love both, and I have both programs. There is also Photoshop Elements, which is a great photo editor, but lacks the action tools that Photoshop CS has. It, too, is cheaper than Photoshop. It will only set you back about $30-$150 (depending on which version you get). Of course, I have that program too - lol. It came with my Wacom Drawing Tablet. It is a super easy program to use, and not nearly as daunting as Photoshop CS.
Now, if I could only find some way to use them while I am at work. That would be even better! But, somehow, I think my bosses would frown upon that
(yeah, I know this was a computer-geek blog entry, but so what! It is my blog. Whatevah. I do what I want!)
Since voting day is nearly here...
| Your Vote Score: 42% Republican, 58% Democrat |
 You are truly an independent voter, and you don't fit well with either party. Maybe you should choose one issue to vote on - or look into third parties! |
Caption This!
Why, oh why, didn't I just take that job at McDonald's?
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"So the documentary-makers stick with sharks. Generally, their procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as to infest the waters. I would estimate that the primary food source of sharks today is bleeding fish pieces scattered by people making documentaries. Once the sharks arrive, they are generally fairly listless. The general shark attitude seems to be: Oh God, another documentary. So the divers have to somehow goad them into attacking, under the guise of Scientific Research. We know very little about the effect of electricity on sharks, the narrator will say, in a deeply scientific voice. That is why Todd is going to jab this Great White in the testicles with a cattle prod. The divers keep this kind of thing up until the shark finally gets irritated and snaps at them, and then they act as though this was a totally unexpected and very dangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I think I just lost my appetite.)
Nude couple's feud ends at Waffle House
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - No shirt, no service? What about no clothes at all? A couple that began squabbling in a motel room Friday morning carried their dispute over to an adjacent Waffle House restaurant in the nude, police said.
The woman, who was not identified, told officers she was staying in a room with Larry Boyd when he took a hit of cocaine, started trashing their room and choked her.
She ran in the buff to the nearby restaurant and locked herself in the bathroom. Boyd, also naked, followed her into the restaurant and then fled in a car.
He was arrested — still naked — after a short chase by police and was charged with driving under the influence and felony evading arrest, among other charges. It was not immediately clear whether he had an attorney.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Gno mo' gnomes!
I am not sure whether I am more disturbed by Travelocity's roaming lawn gnome or by their new idea of dressing some dude up with a pointy hat to look like a gnome....(shudders). Gnomes creep me out!
Don't know how accurate this is...
but I am posting it anyway - hehe
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