Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Random Fact of The Day
All of the Earth's continents are wider at the north than in the south - and nobody knows why.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"If you are a newspaper columnist, you can legally deduct all expenses relating to anything you specifically mention in a column, such as houses, cars, vacations, beer, and everything else, real or imagined, in the world, including but not limited to your new 'flat screen' television with a remote control boasting so many advanced features that you have to call your son nightly so he can explain to you how to turn it off."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I'm ready for my closeup.)
Accused Burglar Takes Cameras, Leaves Tape
ELKO, Nev. - A man accused of burglarizing a laundromat in Elko figured he made a clean escape over the weekend when he took off with the store's six video surveillance cameras.
But it turns out he left some rather compelling evidence behind — the video machine and videotape that recorded his face each time he stood in front of the cameras at the Southside Laundry.
Elko police said they came away with several close-ups of the suspect, Robert Lynn White, 52, Elko.
And even if the portraits were a little fuzzy, police said they would have been able to easily identify him because he was wearing cowboy chaps and a trench coat, the usual attire he wears around town.
Police are still working to recover the missing cameras but in the meantime they have arrested White on suspicion of grand larceny. The store is owned by Elko County Commissioner John Ellison.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
American Idol recap ... and stuff
Tonight's American Idol was all about Queen songs. Overall, I think the contestants did well. There were a few exceptions.
Bucky's rendition of "Fat Bottom Girls" was just so-so. I thought he sang it too rushed and too country-ish. Kellie's version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" was just ick. The judges said she did well, but obviously they weren't hearing it all (As Cyndi said, she looked and sounded like Ashlee Simpson - which was just about right). I did not like Ace's version of "We Will Rock You" at all. It sounded too karaoke-ish to me.
Taylor's rendition of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was kind of up and down. I liked the last part. He made it rock out there. But the beginning was only so-so. Paris did fairly well on "The Show Must Go On." I think she did a decent job.
The 3 performances that were the best tonight, in my mind (and to my ears), were Katharine, who sang "Who Wants To Live Forever," Elliot, who sang "Somebody To Love," and Chris, who sang "Innuendo" (I think that is what it was called). He rocked it out.
My bottom 3..... Bucky, Kellie and Ace. Once again, I am gonna say that Ace needs to leave. His whiney voice needs to be put to rest (even if he does have great hair - lol).
On a side note, I just wanna say that I love the Fox tv show, House. Hugh Laurie is freakin' de-lish. He has that rugged handsomeness that I just can eat up. He is brash and opinionated and very outspoken. He is definitely a bad boy with a good heart. I love it! Plus the show is just good. Watch it. You will see.
And another side note which is totally unrelated to anything I just wrote....I love the new throw blanket I bought today for my couch. It is soooooooooo cumfy and soft. I wanna wear it to work (but I know I would get fired if I did - lol). That is how cumfy and soft it is. I got it at Mashalls (my old home). I hadn't been in that store in a long, long time. I am in love with my blanket!!! LOL! (I am such a nut).
Another side note.....Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband had a baby boy and they named him .......brace yourself....Moses. Well, at least they didn't name him something like Squash or Melon or some other veggie or fruit name. But still. C'mon! People! Wake up! Name your kid something nice and normal. It is not a competition to come up with the weirdest names you can possibly come up with (remember Jason Lee's kid, Pilot Inspektor or Penn Gillete's little girl, Moxie Crimefighter? UGH!). These kids have to live with these names for the rest of their lives. Moses was all fine and good in Biblical times, but how many Ezekiel's, Malacchi's and Zebediah's do you see around these days???
I know I am ranting, but I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning and just knowing that I am gonna have to go get my teeth and gums scraped with that horrible metal hook thingy they use just puts me in a bad mood. I can feel the pain already.
Bucky's rendition of "Fat Bottom Girls" was just so-so. I thought he sang it too rushed and too country-ish. Kellie's version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" was just ick. The judges said she did well, but obviously they weren't hearing it all (As Cyndi said, she looked and sounded like Ashlee Simpson - which was just about right). I did not like Ace's version of "We Will Rock You" at all. It sounded too karaoke-ish to me.
Taylor's rendition of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was kind of up and down. I liked the last part. He made it rock out there. But the beginning was only so-so. Paris did fairly well on "The Show Must Go On." I think she did a decent job.
The 3 performances that were the best tonight, in my mind (and to my ears), were Katharine, who sang "Who Wants To Live Forever," Elliot, who sang "Somebody To Love," and Chris, who sang "Innuendo" (I think that is what it was called). He rocked it out.
My bottom 3..... Bucky, Kellie and Ace. Once again, I am gonna say that Ace needs to leave. His whiney voice needs to be put to rest (even if he does have great hair - lol).
On a side note, I just wanna say that I love the Fox tv show, House. Hugh Laurie is freakin' de-lish. He has that rugged handsomeness that I just can eat up. He is brash and opinionated and very outspoken. He is definitely a bad boy with a good heart. I love it! Plus the show is just good. Watch it. You will see.
And another side note which is totally unrelated to anything I just wrote....I love the new throw blanket I bought today for my couch. It is soooooooooo cumfy and soft. I wanna wear it to work (but I know I would get fired if I did - lol). That is how cumfy and soft it is. I got it at Mashalls (my old home). I hadn't been in that store in a long, long time. I am in love with my blanket!!! LOL! (I am such a nut).
Another side note.....Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband had a baby boy and they named him .......brace yourself....Moses. Well, at least they didn't name him something like Squash or Melon or some other veggie or fruit name. But still. C'mon! People! Wake up! Name your kid something nice and normal. It is not a competition to come up with the weirdest names you can possibly come up with (remember Jason Lee's kid, Pilot Inspektor or Penn Gillete's little girl, Moxie Crimefighter? UGH!). These kids have to live with these names for the rest of their lives. Moses was all fine and good in Biblical times, but how many Ezekiel's, Malacchi's and Zebediah's do you see around these days???
I know I am ranting, but I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning and just knowing that I am gonna have to go get my teeth and gums scraped with that horrible metal hook thingy they use just puts me in a bad mood. I can feel the pain already.
Trueness
| The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick |
 You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times. Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite |
For a blog quiz, this is pretty accurate
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations. |
No complex thoughts for me today
Well, it is Tuesday, and I am at work, despite still feeling blah. Looks like I am not the only sicko though, since 2 people in my unit called out sick today, which leaves just me. I anticipate a very bad day. Very bad indeed. I tried to eat some toast this morning, but it just tasted bad to me, but the 7-Up tastes ok. My appetite is still almost nonexistent, but I did manage to eat the toast anyway. Blah, blah, blah.
It is raining outside. It rained yesterday, too. It is supposed to clear up tomorrow, but will be back for the weekend. I guess the rain is making up for the dry winter we had. And it is making up for it in abundance.
I watched a show on the Travel Channel last night about how they make and print money. It was pretty interesting. It takes them up to 8 months just to do the etching each president's portrait. The etcher has to work in reverse and using a magnifying glass to see, as each cut into the etching can be no deeper than the width of a human hair. Talk about a job that requires patience! They showed the whole process from the making of the paper pulp to the inking of the engraving plates to the final cut. It was really cool and it shows you just how much of a painstaking process it is to make money. They also said it is very profitable as each bill, no matter the denomination, takes only 4 cents each to make. So basically, on a hundred dollar bill, you're talking about a $99.96 profit. It did get me to wondering how we can have such a big defecit if they can print money just like that and turn such a big profilt. They should be able to pay off that deficit in no time flat! (things that make you go hmmmmmmm). I suppose there is more to it than that, but my simple mind won't allow complex thoughts right now.
I am so tired. I actually slept pretty well last night (thanks to Tylenol PM), but yet I am sleepy. And I am starting to feel queasy again. Damn that toast!
It is raining outside. It rained yesterday, too. It is supposed to clear up tomorrow, but will be back for the weekend. I guess the rain is making up for the dry winter we had. And it is making up for it in abundance.
I watched a show on the Travel Channel last night about how they make and print money. It was pretty interesting. It takes them up to 8 months just to do the etching each president's portrait. The etcher has to work in reverse and using a magnifying glass to see, as each cut into the etching can be no deeper than the width of a human hair. Talk about a job that requires patience! They showed the whole process from the making of the paper pulp to the inking of the engraving plates to the final cut. It was really cool and it shows you just how much of a painstaking process it is to make money. They also said it is very profitable as each bill, no matter the denomination, takes only 4 cents each to make. So basically, on a hundred dollar bill, you're talking about a $99.96 profit. It did get me to wondering how we can have such a big defecit if they can print money just like that and turn such a big profilt. They should be able to pay off that deficit in no time flat! (things that make you go hmmmmmmm). I suppose there is more to it than that, but my simple mind won't allow complex thoughts right now.
I am so tired. I actually slept pretty well last night (thanks to Tylenol PM), but yet I am sleepy. And I am starting to feel queasy again. Damn that toast!
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Another outsourcing example: When you take a commercial airline flight, the plane is actually being controlled from India by a ten-year-old girl, holding a remote-control joystick in one hand and a lollipop in the other. The 'pilot' in the front of your plane is a retired security guard whose sole responsibility is to notice when the plane starts shaking and make an announcement that you are experiencing turbulence."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Sorry ma'm, but you're just too slow.)
Woman, 82, Gets Ticket for Slow Crossing
LOS ANGELES - An 82-year-old woman received a $114 ticket for taking too long to cross a street. Mayvis Coyle said she began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley when the light was green, but was unable to make it to the other side before it turned red.
She said the motorcycle officer who ticketed her on Feb. 15 told her she was obstructing traffic.
"I think it's completely outrageous," said Coyle, who described herself as a Cherokee medicine woman. "He treated me like a 6-year-old, like I don't know what I'm doing."
Los Angeles police Sgt. Mike Zaboski of the Valley Traffic Division said police are cracking down on people who improperly cross streets because pedestrian accidents are above normal. He said he could not comment on Coyle's ticket other than to say that it is her word against that of the citing officer, identified only as Officer Kelly.
"I'd rather not have angry pedestrians," Zaboski said. "But I'd rather have them be alive."
Others, however, supported Coyle's contention that the light in question doesn't give people enough time to cross the busy, five-lane boulevard.
"I can go halfway, then the light changes," said Edith Krause, 78, who uses an electric cart because she has difficulty walking.
On Friday, the light changed too quickly even for high school students to make it across without running. It went from green to red in 20 seconds.
Councilwoman Wendy Greuel said she has asked transportation officials to figure out how to accommodate elderly people.
"We should look at those areas with predominantly seniors and accommodate their needs in intersections" she said.
Monday, April 10, 2006
I hate being sick
I am sick. So stay back or else you might get it too.
I spent most of yesterday with a really bad tummy ache, which progressed into a fever and chills, body aches, headache, and then the inevitable puking. I guess it is the stomach flu. I felt so bad this morning cuz I still had a fever and I was still feeling sick to my stomach, so I called in sick and stayed in bed. I still feel weak (probably cuz I haven't had anything to eat but toast since Saturday evening at dinner- lol), but not so queasy anymore, which is good!
On Saturday, before I got sick (lol), I went to see The Benchwarmers. Hilarious movie. I laughed so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. The ending of the movie wasn't as funny as the rest of it. but I still enjoyed the movie. I haven't laughed so much at a movie since I saw The Wedding Crashers.
So this weekend wasn't a total bust. I did get to see a funny movie before the not-so-funny flu set in.
I spent most of yesterday with a really bad tummy ache, which progressed into a fever and chills, body aches, headache, and then the inevitable puking. I guess it is the stomach flu. I felt so bad this morning cuz I still had a fever and I was still feeling sick to my stomach, so I called in sick and stayed in bed. I still feel weak (probably cuz I haven't had anything to eat but toast since Saturday evening at dinner- lol), but not so queasy anymore, which is good!
On Saturday, before I got sick (lol), I went to see The Benchwarmers. Hilarious movie. I laughed so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. The ending of the movie wasn't as funny as the rest of it. but I still enjoyed the movie. I haven't laughed so much at a movie since I saw The Wedding Crashers.
So this weekend wasn't a total bust. I did get to see a funny movie before the not-so-funny flu set in.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"We’re riding in a cab from La Guardia Airport to our Manhattan hotel, and I want to interview the driver, because this is how we professional journalists take the Pulse of a City, only I can’t, because he doesn’t speak English. He is not allowed to, under the rules, which are posted right on the seat:
NEW YORK TAXI RULES
1. DRIVER SPEAKS NO ENGLISH.
2. DRIVER JUST GOT HERE TWO DAYS AGO FROM SOMEPLACE LIKE SENEGAL.
3. DRIVER HATES YOU.
Which is just as well, because if he talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the taxi has some kind of problem with the steering, probably dead pedestrians lodged in the mechanism, the result being that there is a delay of eight to 10 seconds between the time the driver turns the wheel and the time the taxi actually changes direction, a handicap that the driver is compensating for by going 175 miles per hour, at which velocity we are able to remain airborne almost to the far rim of some of the smaller potholes."
NEW YORK TAXI RULES
1. DRIVER SPEAKS NO ENGLISH.
2. DRIVER JUST GOT HERE TWO DAYS AGO FROM SOMEPLACE LIKE SENEGAL.
3. DRIVER HATES YOU.
Which is just as well, because if he talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the taxi has some kind of problem with the steering, probably dead pedestrians lodged in the mechanism, the result being that there is a delay of eight to 10 seconds between the time the driver turns the wheel and the time the taxi actually changes direction, a handicap that the driver is compensating for by going 175 miles per hour, at which velocity we are able to remain airborne almost to the far rim of some of the smaller potholes."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Guess all those phone calls to Mars added up.)
Man Gets $218 Trillion Phone Bill
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he recieved a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.
Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84 ringgit ($23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.
But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01 ringgit ($218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.
It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after after his death.
"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.
Yahaya, from northern Kedah state, received a notice from the company's debt-collection agency in early April, the paper said. Yahaya said he nearly fainted when he saw the new bill.
Government-linked Telekom Malaysia Bhd. is the country's largest telecommunications company.
A company official, who declined to be identified as she was not authorized to speak to the media, said Telekom Malaysia was aware of Yahaya's case and would address it. She did not provide further details.
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