Thursday, September 07, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I started lifting weights. But not for the reason you think. You think I want to look 'cut' and 'ripped' and have bulging muscles like the ones on male underwear models, who for some reason are always shown posing outdoors, looking sullen, as if a group of even more-muscular models stole their pants. But you are wrong. I'm lifting weights for sensible medical reasons, which I learned about from the highest possible medical authority: the Internet."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(An eye for an eye, a beak for a bullet.)
Cops: Chicken dies, wife shoots husband
CHESHIRE, Ore. - A woman shot her husband in the back after he killed her pet chicken, the Lane County sheriff's deputies said. Deputies said they were sure that Mary Gray, 58, intended to shoot her husband, Stephen Gray, 43. They weren't certain if the husband meant to fire at the chicken.
"We don't know if it was an accident or if it was on purpose," Sgt. Clint Riley said. "It depends who you ask."
Riley said the couple had been drinking for much of Monday while they did yard work at their rented home in the town northwest of Eugene, and they began arguing after Stephen Gray shot the chicken with a .44-caliber handgun.
Deputies said he was then hit with a shot from a .22-caliber rifle, and is recovering. Mary Gray was arraigned Tuesday on an assault charge.
___
Information from: The Register-Guard, http://www.registerguard.com
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Random Fact of The Day
The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on its fur.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"On a recent Idaho trip my friend Ron Ungerman - and 'Ungerman' is NOT a funny name, so let's not draw undue attention to it - persuaded me to go trout fishing. We purchased fishing licenses and hired a guide named Susanne, who is German but promised us that she would not be too strict. Susanne had me and Ron Ungerman (ha ha!) put on rubber waders, which serve two important purposes: (1) they cause your legs to sweat; and (2) they make you look like Nerd Boy from the Planet Dork. Then we hiked through roughly eighty-three miles of aromatic muck to a spot on the Wood River that literally throbbed with trout. I, of course, did not see them, but I did see a lot of blooping on the water surface, which Susanne assured us was caused by trout."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Car 54, where are you?)
Police caught flat-footed in car chase
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - A police pursuit of suspected car thieves through the streets of an Israeli city ended with officers reporting another stolen vehicle -- their own.
After crashing into an electricity pole during the chase in the Tel Aviv suburb of Bnei Brak, the three suspects abandoned their car and made a run for it on foot, a police spokesman said Sunday.
Two officers bolted from their police cruiser to try to catch them.
One of the suspected thieves was arrested, another got away, but the third man doubled back, jumped into the police car and sped off, the spokesman said. It was later found abandoned, its radio and computer screen smashed.
The police spokesman said he could not confirm an Israeli newspaper report which said the officers had left the cruiser unlocked and its engine running. He said a senior police commander had ordered an investigation of the incident.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Cool Photo Trick
You know how they have those cool looking photos where the whole picture is in black and white and just a little part is in color? Well, I always wondered how to do it. After playing around with PaintShop Pro 8, I finally cracked this case.
First, start off with a photo. I chose this one:
Open this photo in Paint Shop.
Next, go to your tool bar, click on "edit" then "copy" the photo and paste to PaintShop as a "new image."
On the new image, go to the tool bar in PaintShop and click on "colors" then "grayscale." This will change the image to a black and white photo, like this:
Once you have your black and white photo, click on "edit" then copy this black and white photo and paste it on your original as a "new layer."
Now you will have 2 layers on your original, the top being the black and white image. Now comes the fun part.
Go to your tools and click on the "eraser brush." Pick a size and shape brush which will fit your needs. Now, on the black and white layer, simply erase over the parts where you would like the color to come through. On my photo, I picked the butterfly and the flower. After you are finished erasing, you will have a new picture, like this:
Now, in your layers palette, right-click on one of the layers and then click "merge" then "merge visible." This will merge both layers of your photo into one layer. Now you can save your new photo. Pretty cool, huh.
Just thought I'd share that little trick with you. Have fun!
First, start off with a photo. I chose this one:
Open this photo in Paint Shop.
Next, go to your tool bar, click on "edit" then "copy" the photo and paste to PaintShop as a "new image."
On the new image, go to the tool bar in PaintShop and click on "colors" then "grayscale." This will change the image to a black and white photo, like this:
Once you have your black and white photo, click on "edit" then copy this black and white photo and paste it on your original as a "new layer."
Now you will have 2 layers on your original, the top being the black and white image. Now comes the fun part.
Go to your tools and click on the "eraser brush." Pick a size and shape brush which will fit your needs. Now, on the black and white layer, simply erase over the parts where you would like the color to come through. On my photo, I picked the butterfly and the flower. After you are finished erasing, you will have a new picture, like this:
Now, in your layers palette, right-click on one of the layers and then click "merge" then "merge visible." This will merge both layers of your photo into one layer. Now you can save your new photo. Pretty cool, huh.
Just thought I'd share that little trick with you. Have fun!
Crikey
When I heard that The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, died, I thought it must have been because of a snake or a crocodile or some other poisonous or big, dangerous animal. I never thought it would be a stingray. Stingrays are generally placid animals, only using their poisonous tail barbs in self-defense, and deaths caused by them are very rare. It was a freak accident that it happened, being that the stingray was not being provoked by Irwin in any way. I read reports that the ray may have felt trapped between the camera man and Irwin, and that is why it attacked...although "attacked" is a poor choice of wording since it didn't maliciously attack him. You can't blame the stingray and you can't blame Steve Irwin, for he wasn't provoking the stingray. It was just an unfortunate accident. One of those freak things that just happens. Like when my cousin Ray was killed by a Ditch Witch while he was working on his vineyard. You don't expect it. It just happens. I just feel so sad for his family. It was just a sad day all around. I really was shocked when I heard it happened.
Well, the long weekend is gone and it feels like a Monday, even though it is Tuesday. I didn't do anything over the weekend. Just stayed at home and played around with my Paintshop Pro program. Digital Scrapbooking is SOOOO freakin' addictive. I was making stuff all weekend - lol. I did take time out yesterday to hang out by the pool with my mom and brother. My bro wanted to come over to my apartment so he could use the pool. So my bro went for a swim and my mom and I just put our feet in the water cuz lord knows no one would want to see my whiter-than-white legs. They could blind a person! Seriously. If you see my legs coming, look away. Or at least wear sunglasses. You have been warned.
Speaking of my brother, he freaked me out the other night. Well, not in person. I had a dream the other night where I was in bed and trying to fall asleep. A dream about trying to fall asleep....it's getting weird already - lol. Anyway, in my dream I am trying to fall asleep but keep hearing something moving around. I open my eyes and I can see some vague shape moving around in the dark. I close my eyes again. The sound gets closer. I open my eyes and there is my brother, staring at me, his face just inches from mine. I wake up. Weird enough so far.
It gets weirder.
You know how when you look at something for long enough and then look away, you can still see the outline of it? Like this optical illusion, for example...
If you look at this picture for like 20 seconds and then look away, you see a face, right? Well, when I woke up from my dream, that is what I saw....my brother's face. It was so freaky!!! I had a hard time falling back asleep after that. I always knew my brother was a freak, but c'mon!!
It was just plain weird!
The new season of House premieres tonight. So you know where I will be. hehe. And then after House, there is a new episode of Dirty Jobs on The Discovery Channel (at 9 pm). My 2 favorite TV men on back-2-back. What more could I want?
Well, a caramel frappuccino would be nice.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Larry and Suzanne Tingley sent in an article from the Watertown (New York) Daily Times stating that the Lewis County Board of Legislators had authorized the creation of a petty cash fund 'for the weekly purchase of dry ice, used for incest control."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Some people collect stamps as a hobby...others, felonies.)
New York City man arrested 100th time
QUEENSBURY, N.Y. - A New York City man has been arrested for the 100th time.
Officials with the Warren County Sheriff's Department in eastern New York said they found Anthony Love, 40, of Brooklyn with $1,300 worth of merchandise stolen from outlet stores in his car.
He had 99 prior arrests, including several for violent felonies. "We were number 100 for him," Sheriff's Sgt. James LaFarr said.
Love was charged with fourth-degree criminal possession of stolen property, a felony, and possession of an anti-security item, a misdemeanor.
Police said Love had a device that disables security tags.
___
Information from: The Post-Star, http://www.poststar.com
Saturday, September 02, 2006
New Digi Scrapbook Layout
This is my first official digital scrapbook layout. It took a while, but I did it. I made all of the elements myself (well, not the fonts - I used the fonts "Happy Happy Joy Joy" and "Hey Gorgeous"). It turned out rather cute if I don't say so myself. I will be posting more as I complete them.
I almost forgot
I took the next two pictures in San Francisco last weekend. Just some random people walking down the streets in San Francisco. Sometimes the best entertainment is free ;)
This dude apparently REALLY likes Kermit the Frog. Sometimes it is just better to not ask questions.
Posted by Picasa
This dude was painted in gold from head to toe - even his shoes and briefcase - I wonder where he was going??? Things that make you go hmmmm.
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Friday, September 01, 2006
The ...yawn....VMA's
Where are Britney and Madonna when you need them?
Now that is something I NEVER would have caught myself asking. But after watching the VMA's last night, that is what I was thinking.
I watched the VMA Awards last night, only because there was nothing else on tv. And, much to my unsurprise, it was boring (yawn). Not only that: it sucked! Shakira, one of the worst singers in the world, performed, and even with all her hip-shaking, it was still lame. That woman cannot sing! She was plain horrible. She is better at dancing. People like her, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline should just put down the microphone and dance. If you're a better singer than dancer, then sing. If you're a better dancer than a singer, then dance for goodness sake, and don't subject our ears to your pitiful wailing.
The Pussycat Dolls (another group I absolutely cannot stand) won the award for best dance video (or some crap like that). They made a speech which was about as long as their song. It is not a Grammy, people. It is a VMA....one of the least prestigious awards out there. Just say thanks and exit the stage. Don't make some long-ass speech thanking everyone and their mother for inspiration, courage, and yadda yadda yadda.
Jack Black, a man who I normally think is funny, hosted the show, but even he could not breathe life into the dull performances and long-boring speeches. Nowadays, when everything is politically-correct and every network lives in fear of the FCC, we all have to endure award shows which offer no surprises, no controversy and little or no humor.
I hate the VMA's because I like hard rock music and lord knows MTV only plays pop and hip hop on their channel. Where did Headbanger's Ball go?? I want that show back. I remember when MTV actually played music, and not these lame-ass shows like Laguna Beach, Next, My Super Sweet Sixteen, and The Hills. They really should change their name to LTV (Lame Television) or something like that. I think Music Television is false advertising.
Anyway, I know they will replay that lame VMA show over and over on MTV for the rest of this month. As if we didn't get enough the first time, or, heaven forbid, someone missed the show! (oh goodness, no!) So if you missed it, don't worry. You will have about 50 more chances to see Shakira shaking her hips and doing her pitiful best to sing.
But a better option would be to just not watch. I still can't get Shakira's screeching out of my head. Someone please help me!
On the bright side, Sarah Silverman was hilarious as she made jokes about Paris Hilton, saying she should lose weight because she can't even see the bones in her back. She should host next year. Silverman in '07, people!
Now that is something I NEVER would have caught myself asking. But after watching the VMA's last night, that is what I was thinking.
I watched the VMA Awards last night, only because there was nothing else on tv. And, much to my unsurprise, it was boring (yawn). Not only that: it sucked! Shakira, one of the worst singers in the world, performed, and even with all her hip-shaking, it was still lame. That woman cannot sing! She was plain horrible. She is better at dancing. People like her, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline should just put down the microphone and dance. If you're a better singer than dancer, then sing. If you're a better dancer than a singer, then dance for goodness sake, and don't subject our ears to your pitiful wailing.
The Pussycat Dolls (another group I absolutely cannot stand) won the award for best dance video (or some crap like that). They made a speech which was about as long as their song. It is not a Grammy, people. It is a VMA....one of the least prestigious awards out there. Just say thanks and exit the stage. Don't make some long-ass speech thanking everyone and their mother for inspiration, courage, and yadda yadda yadda.
Jack Black, a man who I normally think is funny, hosted the show, but even he could not breathe life into the dull performances and long-boring speeches. Nowadays, when everything is politically-correct and every network lives in fear of the FCC, we all have to endure award shows which offer no surprises, no controversy and little or no humor.
I hate the VMA's because I like hard rock music and lord knows MTV only plays pop and hip hop on their channel. Where did Headbanger's Ball go?? I want that show back. I remember when MTV actually played music, and not these lame-ass shows like Laguna Beach, Next, My Super Sweet Sixteen, and The Hills. They really should change their name to LTV (Lame Television) or something like that. I think Music Television is false advertising.
Anyway, I know they will replay that lame VMA show over and over on MTV for the rest of this month. As if we didn't get enough the first time, or, heaven forbid, someone missed the show! (oh goodness, no!) So if you missed it, don't worry. You will have about 50 more chances to see Shakira shaking her hips and doing her pitiful best to sing.
But a better option would be to just not watch. I still can't get Shakira's screeching out of my head. Someone please help me!
On the bright side, Sarah Silverman was hilarious as she made jokes about Paris Hilton, saying she should lose weight because she can't even see the bones in her back. She should host next year. Silverman in '07, people!
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