Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Here's some fun: Stand in line at the bank for a really long time. Then, when you finally get up to the window, just ask for change for a nickel. It's fun. They actually call other tellers over to look at you."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Never deny a person caffeine. Never.)

Cop Said to Taser Partner After Soda Fight

HAMTRAMCK, Mich. - A police officer has been charged with using a Taser on his partner during an argument over whether they should stop for a soft drink.

Ronald Dupuis, 32, was charged Wednesday with assault and could face up to three months in jail if convicted. The six-year veteran was fired after the Nov. 3 incident.

Dupuis and partner Prema Graham began arguing after Dupuis demanded she stop their car at a store so he could buy a soft drink, according to a police report.

The two then struggled over the steering wheel, and Dupuis hit her leg with his department-issued Taser, the report said. She was not seriously hurt.

Hamtramck police union lawyer Eugene Bolanowski said he expected Dupuis to hire a private lawyer.

Hamtramck is a city of 23,000 surrounded by Detroit.

What crappy Christmas gift are you?

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Gift Are You?

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"The safety lecture on an airplane includes the phrase, 'In the unlikely event...' This is a very suspect phrase, especially coming as it does from an industry that is willing to lie about arrival and departure times."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(I guess just a taste of freedom was all he wanted.)

Inmate Arrested Shortly After Release

JUNEAU, Alaska - It was only a small taste of freedom. David Mulligan, 21, served 25 days for drunken driving, and was released at 7 a.m. Tuesday. Authorities allege he stole a van three minutes later.

A man who lives a block from the Lemon Creek Correctional Center had left his 1997 Dodge van running to warm up. When he came out of the house, it was gone.

Two hours later, the owner called police on a cell phone, saying he was following the stolen van in traffic.

Police responded, and said they found Mulligan alone in the van.

He now faces up to five years in prison and a $50,000 fine if convicted of felony vehicle theft.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oh, the life of a monk.)

Japanese Monk Accused of Growing Marijuana

TOKYO - A Buddhist monk was arrested Wednesday for growing marijuana near his temple in northern Japan, a police official said.

Michimaru Obara, 48-year-old monk at Eikoji shrine in Iwate prefecture (state), is suspected of cultivating about 5.3 pounds of marijuana, according to a police official who refused to give his name due to policy.

Authorities also suspect the monk sold at least 1.7 ounces of the illegal plant to an office worker near Tokyo, the official said.

Obara has already been arrested for drug possession, after police found marijuana at his home last month. The monk has admitted he cultivated the plant for personal consumption, but denies selling his harvest, reports said.

Drug penalties in Japan are harsh. Convicted drug users face up to life in prison under anti-narcotics laws, although most first-time offenders get suspended prison terms.

My elf name is....

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

What's yours?

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Have you noticed that fluorescent lights seem afraid to come on? When you turn on a fluorescent light, it flickers and hesitates and is sort of unsure of itself. Then after several seconds it seems to gain confidence and light up at full strength. What's that all about? Can't these lamps receive some kind of counseling?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Here's one more reason I am not going to get into a taxi.)

Taxi Driver Bites Off Customer's Fingertip

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - A taxi driver in Denmark bit off the tip of a 48-year-old man's finger in a brawl over how many people could fit in the cab, police said Monday.

The dispute started early Sunday morning, when a group of five men hailed a taxi in downtown Odense, a city in central Denmark.

Police said things got out of hand when the 37-year-old driver insisted he could only take four passengers. It was not clear who started the fight, but the 48-year-old man claims he grabbed the driver by the collar after the driver acted aggressively and spat at him, police said.

The driver, who was bruised but not seriously injured, said the man grabbed him by the jaw with his left hand and punched him with other hand. The driver claims he accidentally bit off the tip off the man's ring finger in the commotion, police said.

The 48-year-old was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment. None of the men were identified in line with Danish privacy rules.

Police were investigating but had not filed any charges Monday.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Here's one more reason I am not going to get into a taxi.)

Taxi Driver Bites Off Customer's Fingertip

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - A taxi driver in Denmark bit off the tip of a 48-year-old man's finger in a brawl over how many people could fit in the cab, police said Monday.

The dispute started early Sunday morning, when a group of five men hailed a taxi in downtown Odense, a city in central Denmark.

Police said things got out of hand when the 37-year-old driver insisted he could only take four passengers. It was not clear who started the fight, but the 48-year-old man claims he grabbed the driver by the collar after the driver acted aggressively and spat at him, police said.

The driver, who was bruised but not seriously injured, said the man grabbed him by the jaw with his left hand and punched him with other hand. The driver claims he accidentally bit off the tip off the man's ring finger in the commotion, police said.

The 48-year-old was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment. None of the men were identified in line with Danish privacy rules.

Police were investigating but had not filed any charges Monday.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree....I finally put up my tree
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Merry Christmas....

Yes, it is that time of year again. I made up a little Christmas web page filled with jokes (more on the adult humor side), facts about Christmas and even a cookie recipe. You can find it at this website....

http://kimberzy.tripod.com/

Enjoy!

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"If the police never find it, is it still a clue?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Someone's observations skills need some work, don't you think?)

Police mistakenly impound driver with car

TORONTO (Reuters) - An 85-year-old Canadian man spent hours inside his impounded car in freezing temperatures after his vehicle was ticketed for illegal parking and then towed to a police compound, police said on Thursday.

Police in the western city of Edmonton, Alberta, said frost had obscured the car's windows and a tow-truck driver, unaware of the elderly man sitting in the driver's seat, took the car to the police compound. The incident occurred Tuesday.

"The security officer at that site along with the tow-truck driver noticed that there was some movement in the car," said Edmonton Police spokeswoman Lisa Lammi.

"They accessed the vehicle and sure enough there was an elderly man inside. He was disoriented but he was not unconscious."

Temperatures were close to -10 Celsius (14 Fahrenheit).

According to the Edmonton bylaw office, the ticket was written two hours before the car arrived at the impound lot.

The man, whose identity has not been released, was taken to hospital for observation.

Lammi said police were unsure what stopped the man from driving his car away.

yes, I finally finished the painting I started a long time ago - lol - not bad for my first painting in some 8 years or so ;)
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