Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Phobia of The Day

Alektorophobia: fear of chickens

Random Fact of The Day

In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The 'hot' new Thanksgiving culinary trend is to cook turkeys in big deep-fat fryers, which are hugely popular because they give guys an excuse to spend Thanksgiving outside drinking beer and messing around with a device that could potentially destroy an entire neighborhood. Now that guys have decided to become seriously involved in Thanksgiving food preparation, it's only a matter of time before they come up with a recipe for mashed potatoes that involves a grenade launcher."

* * * *

"Thanksgiving is not merely a time of eating until we are big, fat, bloated carbohydrate balloons lying motionless on the sofa watching the Detroit Lions while actual gravy oozes from our pores. Thanksgiving is also a time of giving thanks - as the Pilgrims did so many centuries ago - for the fact that the malls are open on Friday. Otherwise we'd have to spend another day with our loved ones, not to mention toxic levels of leftovers, and the number of domestic drumstick assaults would be even higher than it is."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oh where, oh where have my little dogs gone?)

150-200 dogs removed from S.D. house

PROVO, S.D. - The Humane Society of the Black Hills removed 150-200 dogs from the rural residence of an elderly woman at Provo in southwest South Dakota.

Fall River County Sheriff Jeff Tarrell said he contacted the woman earlier this month after the Humane Society received a complaint and she agreed to give up the dogs.

Tarrell said she had taken in stray dogs for more than 30 years.

"It got to the point where people would actually drop the dogs off near the place or abandon them (near there)," he said. "People were essentially taking advantage. They knew she would take in stray dogs."

Suz Phillips, director of operations for the Humane Society, said the dogs were overall in good health.

Caption This!

Ahhhhh...it's about time someone got to that part!


post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Dishabiliophobia: fear of undressing in front of someone

Random Fact of The Day

During the 1600's, boys and girls in England wore dresses until they were about seven years old.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Thanksgiving is that very special holiday when we take a break from our hectic everyday lives to spend quality time with our loved ones, rediscovering all the reasons why we don't actually live with them. But Thanksgiving is also a spiritual time of quiet reflection - a time when we pause to remember, as generations have remembered before us, that an improperly cooked turkey is - in the words of the US Department of Agriculture - 'a ticking Meat Bomb of Death."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Couldn't she just have sent him flowers instead?)

Fla. woman accused faking own abduction

BARTOW, Fla. - A 31-year-old woman is accused of faking her own abduction to win back an ex-boyfriend. Gretchen Morales was arrested Monday and charged with filing a false police report, child neglect and contributing to the delinquency of a child, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

Morales' baby sitter reported Morales was missing on Thursday after she arrived to find the front door unlocked and her not home, The Ledger of Lakeland reported Tuesday.

Judd said Morales told detectives plans for the abduction came to her in dreams since she and her ex-boyfriend, Arnulfo Corpus, 33, split. Corpus is the father of Morales' 2-year-old daughter.

Her two children had been left alone and were still sleeping when the baby sitter arrived, and deputies searched the woods behind Morales' home for 12 hours Thursday looking for her.

St. Petersburg police found her about 10 p.m. Thursday after she called 911 from a drug store, claiming she had been abducted.

Detectives who interviewed her at a hospital didn't believe her story that two men grabbed her from her garage and forced her into a car.

Phobia of The Day

Metathesiophobia: fear of changes

Random Fact of The Day

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Not everybody is comfortable with the idea of eating turkeys, which are, let's face it, living organisms, like dogs or celery. You may wonder: Is there a more humanitarian option that you can serve for Thanksgiving dinner? There certainly is: It's tofu, a semi-foodlike substance secreted by soybeans as a defense mechanism. Tofu can be used as a high-protein meat substitute, as well as a denture adhesive or tile grout. In its natural state, tofu is tasteless and odorless, but if you form it into a turkey-shaped lump, season it well, add gravy, and bake it for two hours in a shallow pan at 350 degrees, you can also use it for minor driveway repairs."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(What will people NOT drink??)

Beverage firm offers pea-flavored soda

SEATTLE (Reuters) - After introducing the world to new soda flavors like fish taco and salmon, Seattle specialty beverage maker Jones Soda Co. is offering a new flavor: Green pea.

Green pea, along with other unusual sodas such as turkey and gravy, dinner roll, sweet potato and antacid flavor, will be part of the company's $10 to $15 "holiday pack" of bottled drinks available nationwide.

Peter van Stolk, chief executive of Jones Soda, said on Monday the collection of strange-flavored sodas usually sells out quickly, even though he can not stomach the drinks. Past flavors included broccoli casserole, corn on the cob and Brussel sprout.

"Why people buy it is beyond me. I can't drink a bottle of this stuff," said van Stolk.

Jones Soda, which sells traditional sodas alongside more exotic flavors like fufu berry and green apple, first introduced the holiday soda pack in 2003, gaining notoriety for its turkey and gravy flavor soda.

"We have the market share leader in turkey-flavored beverages," said van Stolk. "We know we can't compete with Coke or Pepsi by playing their game, but we know they're not going to come out with a turkey flavor or antacid flavor."

Asked if there were any flavors that were off limits, van Stolk said he put his foot down when it came to curried chicken flavor.

"Fish taco was just nasty and we tried curried chicken. That was just wrong," he said.

Random Thought For The Evening

I heard on E! a few minutes ago that they have some poll going asking people to vote for their favorite Carter to watch. Asking me which is my favorite Carter to watch is like asking me which size of fork I would like to poke my eyes out with.

How about none????

Here comes the fog...here comes the fog, and I say, it's not all right!

Well fog season is officially here. It is a little after 11 am and it is still foggy outside. It was pretty dreary and drab all weekend long, too. Gosh, Bakersfield is just SO pretty in the winter.

It is a good thing I am a crappy sleeper since the power went out last night. I woke up and looked at my clock and it was blinking "3:24 am." When I turned on the light and looked at my watch, it was actually 5:50 am. I would have been SO late to work had I not woke up. I heard that South High School was actually closed this morning due to a power outage, and several schools were on a fog delay. Good thing my power was actually on this morning. I would have had a hard time seeing to get ready for work - hehe.

I had a dream last night that I couldn't fall asleep. Weird, huh? It's like when you have a dream that you were having a dream. Or am I the only one who has those sorts of dreams? Anyway, I thought that was kind of appropriate since I was, in fact, actually having a hard time falling asleep last night. The last time I looked at my clock before I fell asleep last night,it was 12:50 am, and I know I laid in bed for quite some time after that before falling asleep. Sunday nights suck like that.

I can't believe it is almost Thanksgiving. This year has gone by so fast. I am not really looking forward to the holidays though. We always spent at least one of the holidays (Thanksgiving or Christmas) with my grandma. Now that she is gone....I dunno. It just won't be the same without her I miss her. My mom said that if my cousin Debbie has a get-together at her house for Christmas, we might go up there. Otherwise, it will just be the 4 of us.

I want a nap! I am so sleepy.

Phobia of The Day

Agyrophobia: fear of streets or crossing the street

Random Fact of The Day

New York's Central Park is nearly twice the size of the entire country of Monaco.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I applaud the World Toilet Organization for its efforts to improve the world's public toilets. I think this concept could be used in tourism advertising ('Korea - Come for the History: Stay for the Public Toilets'). You probably can't attend the summit, but you CAN take part in (I am STILL not making this up) World Toilet Day on November 19. Let's all take a few moments to observe this very special occasion. And then let's wash our hands."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sometimes, it's just better to leave the freckles alone.)

Fishy freckle remover inflames Chinese consumers

BEIJING (Reuters) - China has banned TV ads for a freckle remover, touted as being so good it could remove spots from fish, when it not only killed fish but led to rashes, blisters and skin inflammation on the humans who tried it.

Advertisements promoting "Magic Freckle Removing Gel", produced by a Shanghai company, used a celebrity, bogus experts and fish to endorse the cosmetic, but fish exposed to the gel by a research institute later died from poisoning, the Beijing News said.

"(The institute) carried out a test washing the fish's spots in the gel. Two fish died successively on the third and sixth days," the paper said, citing an investigative report on Chinese state television.

Experts later found that three different fish had been used in the advertisement to make the cleanser appear effective, the paper said.

Claims that the cleanser was produced by an American company using "American technology" were also found to be false.

The gel used a plant-based compound often used in traditional Chinese medicine to reduce fever and phlegm, but its claim that it had spot-removing properties was "unscientific", the paper said.

"Not only can it not remove spots, it also has a certain amount of poison," the paper said.

Consumers in Shanghai, Beijing and several Chinese provinces had complained of "rashes, skin inflammation, blistering, coloured spots and other adverse reactions", after using the product, the paper said.

China's trade watchdog, the State Administration of Commerce and Industry, had banned the ad and ordered provincial offices to investigate, the paper said.

The advertisements were no longer on television, but Internet sales were still available, the paper said.

China is attempting to crack down on false and misleading advertising amid rising consumer fury stemming from a spate of recent health scares, but loose administration and approval procedures have resulted in a number of bogus and unsafe products going to market.

People Magazine got it all wrong....

THIS is what should have been on the cover...





Is there a doctor in the house? hehe