Friday, October 27, 2006
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Now which one makes it stop?)
Driving test comes to crashing halt
PORTAGE, Ind. - A young woman's goal of getting her driver's license crashed this week — right into the license branch. The 20-year-old woman was pulling into a parking spot outside the license branch when she hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Assistant Fire Chief Mike Bucy said.
The car jumped a small curb and went into the building about 1:30 p.m. Tuesday, tearing out a large glass window and damaging a door and low brick wall.
Neither the driver nor the examiner, who weren't identified, were injured. Bucy said a person in the building sustained a hip injury and was examined by emergency medical personnel but declined to be taken to the hospital.
The driver's car had damage to its hood and fenders.
Amazing Travel manager Susan Williams said she thought something had exploded next door.
"We jumped up and we went to the door and saw the car half in and half out of the license bureau," Williams said.
The building was closed for the remainder of the day, but reopened Wednesday.
The young driver, meanwhile, failed the test.
"I think it's fair to say the customer did not meet the required criteria," said Greg Cook, a Bureau of Motor Vehicles spokesman.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Lobster: Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only proper method of preparing them. Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're cooked. The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs. Grasp the lobster behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say, 'Where were you on the night of the 21st?', then flourish a picture of a scallop or a sole and shout, 'Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural apparatus you call a memory!' The lobster will squirm noticeably. It may even take a swipe at you with one of its claws. Incorrigible. Pop it into the pot. Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will be, too."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I know you are but what am I?)
Montana principal returns after 'wedgie'
LIVINGSTON, Mont. - The principal of Park High School returned to school Tuesday after a six-day suspension for giving a student a "wedgie." The Livingston School District Board held a special meeting Monday and approved Superintendent Hannibal Anderson's recommendation that Principal Eric Messerli be allowed to return to work.
"It has been clearly recognized and stated that the behavior is inappropriate, unprofessional and unacceptable," Anderson said.
Messerli's behavior "warrants substantial disciplinary action" but was not sufficient grounds for a recommendation for termination, he said.
Messerli was suspended for two days without pay and four days with pay for grabbing a Park High senior's soccer jersey and pulling it over his head and giving the student a "wedgie" by pulling up on the waist band of his underwear. The incident happened on Oct. 5 at a junior varsity soccer game.
Messerli cried Monday as he read a statement to the board and the public.
"I've made mistakes in my life, but none have had the impact that this one has had," he said.
He said his first reaction was to resign, but he wanted to "tackle this mess" head on.
"I want to live in a world where we don't have to hide when we screw up," he said.
Public comments about Messerli, voiced by students, parents and community members, ranged from reprimand to encouragement.
"What could be better than showing how you bounce back after a mistake?" community member Brad Snow said.
"The days of a school staff person laying hands on a student are long gone," said a woman in the audience.
Park High Vice Principal Bob Stevenson and girls' soccer coach Nate Anderson, who both witnessed the Oct. 5 incident, expressed support for Messerli. They said his actions were a mistake, but they were done in an effort to joke around with the student.
"It was meant in playfulness," Anderson said.
Others, including trustee Greg Brainerd, said Messerli's trying to be on equal level with students was the problem.
He attributed the incident to "loss of traditional authority structure," which he believes should be re-established in the school system.
Anderson said Messerli also received a letter of reprimand.
___
Information from: Livingston Enterprise, http://www.livingstonenterprise.com
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Things that make you go, Boo!
Yes. It is that time of year again. Time for me to change my Myspace page to reflect the Halloween spirit. Ok. So I was really bored and had nothing better to do. Also, I made some cute little Halloween pumpkins and critters and wanted to put them on my page. Gotta love Paint Shop Pro! I didn't redo my blog this time. I probably will for Christmas. It is just too much work to redo the whole blog! lol.
Here is a little black kitty that you can grab if you wanna. Just right-click and click "save picture." Feel free to take it. I know some people are all copyright-happy or what-not, but I am not. I just like to make things for fun :)
Nothing new has been going on. The training class is almost over (next Thursday is the last day ) , so pretty soon I will be back at my old desk. I am glad cuz it is just so friggin' cold in that room in the morning, and then in the afternoon it is hot and stuffy.
I went to the dentist today for a cleaning, and for the first time in a long time I was actually not nervous or weirded out going there. You wanna know why? Sonicare! That is why. That toothbrush is SO worth the money. I knew my teeth were clean, damnit. I am seriously loving me some Sonicare. Every time I brush my teeth, they feel so fresh-from-the-dentist clean (did that sound like a commercial or what?) But really, it cleans your teeth great. For serial!
On a totally unrelated note, I heard that Kate Moss and her weirdo of a boyfriend, Pete Doherty (who is nearly as skinny as she is) are gonna have a baby together. Am I the only one grossed out by this? That baby is gonna be seriously hideous! They both have rat faces and drug habits. Such a lovely pair they make (gag). They make Britney Spears and Kevin Federline look normal (almost).
Oh well. You know what they say.....everyone is somebody's weirdo. At least those 2 weirdos found each other.
Here is a little black kitty that you can grab if you wanna. Just right-click and click "save picture." Feel free to take it. I know some people are all copyright-happy or what-not, but I am not. I just like to make things for fun :)
Nothing new has been going on. The training class is almost over (next Thursday is the last day ) , so pretty soon I will be back at my old desk. I am glad cuz it is just so friggin' cold in that room in the morning, and then in the afternoon it is hot and stuffy.
I went to the dentist today for a cleaning, and for the first time in a long time I was actually not nervous or weirded out going there. You wanna know why? Sonicare! That is why. That toothbrush is SO worth the money. I knew my teeth were clean, damnit. I am seriously loving me some Sonicare. Every time I brush my teeth, they feel so fresh-from-the-dentist clean (did that sound like a commercial or what?) But really, it cleans your teeth great. For serial!
On a totally unrelated note, I heard that Kate Moss and her weirdo of a boyfriend, Pete Doherty (who is nearly as skinny as she is) are gonna have a baby together. Am I the only one grossed out by this? That baby is gonna be seriously hideous! They both have rat faces and drug habits. Such a lovely pair they make (gag). They make Britney Spears and Kevin Federline look normal (almost).
Oh well. You know what they say.....everyone is somebody's weirdo. At least those 2 weirdos found each other.
Random Fact of The Day
In Florida, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Poor guy. All that, and still no Sponge Bob.)
Toddler gets stuck in vending machine
ANTIGO, Wis. - Three-year-old Robert Moore went fishing for a stuffed replica of Sponge Bob and ended up trapped in a vending machine. The toddler's adventure began with a Saturday evening shopping trip with his grandmother, Fredricka Bierdemann, and three siblings.
Bierdemann ended the trip by giving each child a dollar and telling them to have fun in a retailer's game room.
A stuffed Sponge Bob in a vending machine's bin caught Robert's eye. He tried without success to fish it out with a plastic crane.
"I told him I could get it for him," his grandmother said. "He's a character. He said, 'Oh no, I can get it.'"
When she turned her back to get another dollar for a second try, Robert took off his coat and squeezed through an opening in the machine. He landed in the stuffed animal cube.
"I turned around and looked for him, and he said, 'Oma, I'm in here," Bierdemann said. "I thought I would have a heart attack."
Store employees couldn't find a key to the machine, so Robert waited while the Antigo Fire Department was called.
"He was having a ball in there, hugging all the stuffed animals," Bierdemann said. "He was so good-natured, but I was shaking like a leaf."
Firefighters broke one lock but then spotted two latches inside the plastic cube. They passed a screwdriver to Robert.
"He stacked up all the stuffed animals and used that screwdriver to open the latch," his grandmother said. "You should have seen him go."
Eventually, Robert freed himself. But his mother, Marie Moore, and grandmother said they were lucky that he remained calm when another child might not have. He went home safe — but without a stuffed Sponge Bob.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Caption This!
They knew their love was wrong. But it felt so right.
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"The neutron bomb is a nuclear device that kills people without destroying buildings. Many people feel this is inhumane; they much prefer the old- fashioned humane-type nuclear devices that kill people *and* destroy buildings. Western Europe's reaction to the neutron bomb has been mixed: most buildings are for it, and most people are against it, on the grounds that it might kill them. They're always wallowing in sentiment, those Western Europeans."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(One is never enough.)
Man with mannequin fetish arrested again
FERNDALE, Mich. - A Detroit man with a history of smashing store windows to grab female mannequins has been accused of indulging his fetish again. Ronald A. Dotson, 39, was arrested and jailed Oct. 9 after breaking a window at a cleaning-supply company to get at a mannequin in a black and white French maid's uniform, police said.
A judge Thursday ordered him to undergo a psychiatric examination to determine whether he is competent to stand trial on charges of attempted breaking and entering.
"Mr. Dotson went to prison and they haven't helped him," said his lawyer, Edward Cohn. "He got out of prison and he was right back out there. It's pretty bizarre."
Dotson had been out of prison for less than a week when he was caught. His erotic pursuit of mannequins over the past 13 years has led to at least six convictions for breaking and entering and a stint in prison, police said.
"He told his parole officer he was going to buy a mannequin so he didn't have to do these break-ins anymore," said Detective Brendan Moore said. "Apparently that didn't work out."
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