My new hamster, Lil Oreo - now Squeakers has a friend :)
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Stupid News Story of The Day

(Watch out, Nessie...you're next!)

Hunting Season Opens for Mythical Creature

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A mythical monster, believed by some to have lived for hundreds of years in the murky depths of a Swedish lake, is now fair game for hunters — if they can find it. Authorities have agreed to lift its endangered species protection.

Hundreds of people claim to have spotted a large serpent-like creature in Lake Storsjon in the northwestern province of Jamtland, and in 1986 the regional council put it on a list of endangered animals.

But a government watchdog challenged the decision, saying such protection was hardly necessary for a creature whose existence has not been proven.

The regional council agreed to remove the listing this month, but declined to rule out that a monster lives in the 300-foot deep lake.

"It exists, inasmuch as it lives in the minds of people," the council's chief legal adviser Peter Lif said about the purported beast. "But I guess we'll have to agree that it cannot be proved scientifically, and then it should not be listed as an endangered species."

The so-called Storsjo monster was first mentioned in print in 1635. Hundreds of sightings have been reported since then. Some people describe the creature as a snakelike animal with a dog's head and fins on its neck. But no clear image of it has been captured on camera.

Storsjo monster aficionados said lifting the endangered species protection was a mistake, and appeared insulted by the decision.

"We are not fanatics," said Christer Berko, of the Storsjo monster association. "We see this as very interesting phenomenon that we unfortunately have not been able to document."

Finally a Friday

Oh good lord. Yesterday, I left work early because of a migraine headache. I am not normally the kind of person that caves in from pain, but I am sorry, Mr Migraine beat the crap out of me yesterday. I went home, took some painkillers, and went to bed and slept til like 7:30. Then I went back to bed around 10 and slept some more. And this morning, I had the beginnings of another headache, so I took some Advil, which will hopefully keep that sucker away. Grrrrr. I hate migraines. But they seem to love me - lol.

So, this morning I was driving to work (uh oh....here comes the road rage story and some more cussing, you say ... haha), and was fully expecting someone to piss me off, but guess what? No one pissed me off this morning! It's a miracle!!!! Maybe someone up there was feeling bad about giving me a migraine yesterday and decided to make my morning drive pleasantly pissed-off free. There is always the drive home, though ;) I am such a pessimist!

The rain finally came last night, after days of mis-forecasting. I heard it when I was getting ready for bed. So, of course, this morning there was a little bit of fog, just as I had predicted - hehe. Being that there was fog, made me all the more sure that some driver was gonna piss me off. Guess I mis-predicted that one.

In keeping with the whole driving theme, here is my new list...

List what kinds of people should never drive cars:

1.Crazy people. (guess that rules out everyone! hehe)

2. People with Alzheimer's, dementia, narcolepsy, epilepsy or other diseases that cause a person to black out or forget things.

3. People with explosive tempers.

4. People who have been drinking or doing drugs....including prescription drugs that can cause dizziness and/or drowsiness.

5. People who are too sleepy to drive.

6. People without a driver's license......duh.

7. People who are easily distracted (guess that rules out everyone, too - hehe)

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I always take care to distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Whoop, there it is!!)

Calif. Motorist Struck by Flying Deer

BLACKHAWK, Calif. - Motorist Robert Brooks thought he hit a deer. That is, until he got out of his car and the deer hit him.

Brooks stopped his car Tuesday evening along a rural road 35 miles east of San Francisco to check for damage from the collision.

Nothing. No damage and no sign of the deer.

Then headlights from another car emerged and that car struck the animal, propelling it airborne into Brooks and breaking his ankle.

"He was in the wrong place at the wrong time," said California Highway Patrol Officer Steve Creel.

The deer was pronounced dead at the scene. Authorities are still looking for the driver of the second vehicle.

Go list yourself...part deux

Time for another list! Aren't you excited?? hehe

List the most exhilarating experiences you're ever had:

1. Flying on a plane for the first time.
2. Graduating from college.
3. Falling in love.
4. Seeing Yosemite Valley for the first time.
5. Riding rollercoasters.
6. Seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time.
7. Going to my first concert.
8. Swinging so high on a swing that I felt like I was touching the sky.
9. Walking on the beach.
10. Sex.
11. Riding to the top of Heavenly Valley in Tahoe on the gondolas. It was so beautiful!
12. Driving across the Golden Gate Bridge.
13. Hay fights in the barn loft with my cousins.
14. the Girl Scout trip to San Francisco.

That is all I could come up with at the time. I am sure there are many more :)

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"What is all this stuff about a kick being 'partially blocked?' It's either blocked, not blocked, or deflected. Partially blocked is like 'somewhat dead."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Polly want a ...... hehe)

Woman Arrested for Stuffing Bird Into Bra

FORT MYERS, Florida - A Florida woman has been arrested for padding her bra — with a stolen parrot.

Jill Knispel, 35, is facing felony charges after hiding a rare Greenwing parrot in her bra and stealing it from her employer, Baby Exotic Birds, police said.

Knispel allegedly stole the bird so she could trade it for a vintage 1964 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia automobile. She couldn't resist telling the car's owner how she got the animal, according to the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Turns out the car's owner is friends with the man who owns the $2,000 bird.

DNA tests confirmed the bird's identity and Knispel was charged Saturday with grand theft.

"The circumstances of the case are the most bizarre I've ever encountered," said veteran wildlife investigator Lenny Barshinger.

Oh, go list yourself.

I got this book called "List Yourself." It's basically a book with a whole bunch of subjects to make lists of. It is supposed to give you a new way to discover yourself....I just like it cuz it gives me something to do - lol. Anyway, it was only $4 (I got it at Half.com), so it wasn't a big purchase. So, here is my first entry...

List the situations that always make you cry:

1. Watching a sad scene in a movie, where a character that you have grown to like dies or something sad happens to them.

2. When I am visiting someone I care about who I haven't seen in a long time, and have to leave and I know I won't see him/her again for a long time.

3. When someone I care about is in trouble, sick, dying, or hurt and I can't do anything to make them better.

4. When I feel like I have disappointed someone who means something to me.

5. When I feel extremely lonely, helpless, scared and feel like I have no one to turn to.

6. When I have lost someone I care about.

7. Breakups.

8. When I am in a lot of pain and feel like I just can't take it anymore.

9. PMS - during PMS I am bound to cry at the drop of a hat - lol

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Where did this idea come from that if you're a celebrity, and something bad happens to you, you have to devote your life to eliminating the same problem for everyone else? Why doesn't a celebrity with milk leg ever do something about dandy fever? How about an actor with woolsorter's disease raising money for the victims of swimming pool granuloma? That's the trouble with Hollywood, no imagination."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Watch out for drunken moose.)

Two Drunken Moose Invade Home for Elderly

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of an elderly home in southern Sweden had to deal with both when a pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.

The moose — a cow and her calf — had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, southern Sweden, said Anna Karlsson, who works there.

Police managed to scare them off once, but the large mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave.

Police did not pursue the culprits, but made sure all apples were picked up from the area, local police chief Bengt Hallberg said. No one was hurt.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Next time they give you all that civic crap about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Well, I don't have a ball, but I do have this here grenade...)

Three die playing catch with grenade

BANJA LUKA, Bosnia (Reuters) - A hand grenade being used instead of a ball in a game of catch exploded early on Saturday killing three youths in this Bosnian town, police and news agencies said.

Two youths aged 19 and 20, one of them from neighboring Croatia, were killed instantly while a 20-year-old woman died on her way to hospital, police said. Her sister was slightly injured but two other youths suffered serious injuries.

The blast occurred at 2:00 a.m. in the western town of Novi Grad at a place in the town center frequented by youngsters. Police said an inquiry was under way and declined further comment. It was not clear why the grenade exploded.

ONASA news agency quoted witnesses as saying the youths tossed the hand grenade to each other before it exploded in the hands of one of them.

Bosnia is awash with illegal weapons left over from the 1992-95 war and tragic incidents are frequent despite several successful campaigns by international peacekeepers and police to get people to hand over illegal weapons.

My hump, my hump...

Hehehe....my friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, so we'll call her "Humpy", just called me with a funny ass story. She was in sexual harassment training in Visalia today, when her cell phone rings. Now, Humpy is one of those girly-girls who has a special ring tone for her husband....and her ring tone just happens to be "My Humps" by The Black-Eyed Peas. In case you haven't heard this song, here is a little sample of the lyrics...

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk

I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump

Whatcha gonna do with all that ass
All that ass inside your jeans

I'ma make make make make you scream
Make you scream make you scream

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk

I'ma get get get get you drunk
Get you love drunk off this hump

Whatcha gonna do with all that breast
All that breast inside that shirt

I'ma make make make make you work
Make you work work make you work

So......here's Humpy....listening to how to NOT sexually harass someone, ears-deep in a state-mandated sexual harassment training session, when "Whatcha gonna do with all that ass" starts blaring out of her cell phone....I about died laughing......too freakin' funny!!!!

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I admire an intelligent man with really unattractive, badly stained and crooked teeth who makes a lot of money and still doesn't get his teeth fixed. It's an interesting choice."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(...and if anyone pees in public, chop off their wee-wee!)

Mayor: Sever Thumbs of Graffiti Artists

RENO, Nev. - Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman has suggested that those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on television.

Goodman, appearing Wednesday on the "Nevada Newsmakers" television show, said, "In the old days in France, they had beheading of people who commit heinous crimes.

"You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it.

"I'm saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb," the mayor added. "That may be the right thing to do."

Goodman also suggested that whippings or canings should be brought back for children who get into trouble.

"I also believe in a little bit of corporal punishment going back to the days of yore, where examples have to be shown," Goodman said.

"I'm dead serious," said Goodman, adding, "Some of these (children) don't learn. You have got to teach them a lesson, and this is coming from a criminal defense lawyer."

"They would get a trial first," he added.

Another panelist on the show, Howard Rosenberg, a state university system regent, responded by saying that cutting off the thumbs of taggers won't solve the problem and Goodman should "use his head for something other than a hat rack."