Thursday, November 16, 2006

Phobia of The Day

Neopharmaphobia: fear of new drugs

Random Fact of The Day

In America in 1977, the punishment for smuggling marijiuana was 15 years less than the punishment for smuggling coffee.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The only way to be sure you've killed all the bacteria in your Thanksgiving turkey is to cook it until a meat thermometer inserted into the breast melts, indicating that the turkey has attained the same internal temperature as the sun. 'Basically,' advises the surgeon general, 'you want to be serving your family a sixteen-pound charcoal briquette.' Even then you should keep a flamethrower handy."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(First it was snakes on a plane...)

Crocs found in man's bag at airport


MANILA, Philippines - A Filipino man who flew home from Cambodia said he was carrying live fish in his carryon luggage, until a check of the bag at Manila airport revealed three 1.5-foot long crocodiles, officials said Wednesday.

The head of the Manila International Airport Authority said it wasn't clear how Enrique Yu Castillo, 50, was able to carry the Siamese crocodiles from Phnom Penh to Singapore to Manila on Monday night.

The crocodiles are on an endangered species list and their importation is prohibited, airport manager Alfonso Cusi said in a statement.

He said charges were being readied against Castillo, while the reptiles were turned over to the Department of Environment and Natural Resources.

Castillo had earlier sought a permit to import the exotic animals but his application was denied, said Teddy Aguir, from the environment department's Wildlife Traffic Monitoring unit at the airport.

Airport authorities had been on a lookout for Castillo since last week, when the Protected Areas and Wildlife Bureau alerted them on the possibility that Castillo might try to sneak in the crocodiles, Aguir said.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Not saying I did it, but if I did it....

Just when I thought I have heard the stupidest thing ever, I hear something even more ridiculous. I heard that OJ Simpson is going to talk about the murders of his ex-wife and Ron Goldman. But he isn't going to talk about how the murders affected his life or how "shocked" he was to hear about them. No. He is going to tell people how he WOULD have killed them IF he had killed them. Ummmm......I don't know a whole lot, but even I know this is a really, REALLY stupid idea. I mean, if you were innocent of a crime (and no, I am not saying I think he is innocent - Hell, no), would you go on tv and write a book about how you would have killed people??

We all know OJ did it.

I am waiting for Kevin Federline's book to come out.... If I Had Talent, This Is What I Would Do With It.

Phobia of The Day

Cardiophobia: Fear of the heart

Random Fact of The Day

A hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute on average.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"An alert reader brought to my attention the World Toilet Organization, a group dedicated to improving the world's public toilets, with a website at worldtoilet.org. ('Org' is a sound made by many of the world's public toilets.) The site features some 'hot topics' presented at their World Toilet Summit including 'Toilets as Tourism Attraction,' 'Toilets as Marketing Tools,' and 'Generating Revenue Through Advertisements in Good Toilets.' I think the World Toilet Summit is a great idea, because most of the world's public toilets, in a word, stink. I'm not saying the United States is perfect in this department. We've made some serious mistakes, the worst being the introduction of 'low-flow' toilets, which clog when asked to handle anything larger than, say, a molecule."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Now, I'm not saying I did it, but....)

O.J. Simpson to discuss killings


LOS ANGELES - Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.

Simpson has agreed to an "unrestricted" interview with book publisher Judith Regan, Fox said.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

The interview will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book, published by Regan, "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed."

In a video clip on the network's Web site, an off-screen interviewer says to Simpson, "You wrote 'I have never seen so much blood in my life.'"

"I don't think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood," Simpson responds.

Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.

Messages left with Simpson and his attorney Yale Galanter were not immediately returned.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Phobia of The Day

Papyrophobia: fear of paper

Random Fact of The Day

It takes about 63,000 trees to make the newsprint for the average Sunday edition of The New York Times.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"For all the flaws of America's public toilets, they stand head and shoulders above those of much of the rest of the world. In parts of Europe, when you enter a public restroom, you often find yourself face-to-face with some hideous dripping slime-covered contraption originally built by Vikings out of petrified mastodon bones. And as if that's not scary enough, sometimes there's a lurking 'attendant' who might belong to a completely different gender from yourself, and who expects you to tip her even though it's clear that neither she nor anybody else has ever actually cleaned the restroom, as evidenced by the presence of bacteria the size of wolverines."

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"For all the flaws of America's public toilets, they stand head and shoulders above those of much of the rest of the world. In parts of Europe, when you enter a public restroom, you often find yourself face-to-face with some hideous dripping slime-covered contraption originally built by Vikings out of petrified mastodon bones. And as if that's not scary enough, sometimes there's a lurking 'attendant' who might belong to a completely different gender from yourself, and who expects you to tip her even though it's clear that neither she nor anybody else has ever actually cleaned the restroom, as evidenced by the presence of bacteria the size of wolverines."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(They don't call him Quick Draw for nothing.)

Car salesman's quick draw foils robbery


KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - The bandit should have paid closer attention to the used car salesman's "Friends of the NRA" ball cap before pulling his gun. Auto dealer Greg "Lumpy" Lambert, a Knox County commissioner, said a young man walked onto his sales lot Saturday and was determined to buy a 2005 Ford Focus.

Lambert said he became suspicious during the test drive when the man didn't want to haggle over price or even ask for a mechanical inspection.

Presented with the sales paperwork, the man pulled a .25-caliber handgun from his pocket, apparently to rob him, the commissioner said.

Lambert, a National Rifle Association member who has a ball cap from the group and has offered free rifles with car purchases in the past, was ready with his own .380-caliber pistol.

"I think we probably leveled our sights close to the same time," Lambert said. "I think I got a bit of a drop on him. I told him to drop his weapon, and he said he didn't want trouble."

The suspect fled, but left behind his driver's license.

Kane Stackhouse, 19, was charged Sunday with attempted aggravated robbery and was being held in jail with bond set at $15,000 bond, the Knox County Sheriff's office said.

Lambert acknowledged the suspect never asked for money or made demands.

"I didn't give him a chance to," Lambert said. "It was a tense situation, and a little scary."

___

Information from: The Knoxville News Sentinel, http://www.knoxnews.com

Monday, November 13, 2006

Stuff (I know...it is just SUCH a creative title)

Well, here it is, Monday again. We were supposed to get a new worker today, but for some unknown reason, she unexpectedly resigned this morning. I don't know what happened, but I hope she is ok. I got her cases, so I have been working on cases all day. Big fun. One thing about this job is that it is never boring - hehe.

Nothing much happened over the weekend. It was supposed to rain on Saturday, but I didn't see much, if any, rain. The winter is a'coming though. It is getting colder and colder. The highs are in the 60's and lows in the 40's. And pretty soon, the fog will come, bringing with it bad drivers everywhere. 'Tis the accident season.

I did get to work with Photoshop some more. Here is a little turkey I made (since it is almost Turkey Day and all)...




Ain't he cute? I just love Photoshop.

It's back to work time. Blah.

Caption This!



If someone sings "Row, row, row your boat" to me one more time, I am gonna row, row, row my boat straight up his ass.

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.


Phobia of The Day

Telephonophobia: fear of telephones

Random Fact of The Day

The first telephone book was one page long and had only 50 names in it.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Public restrooms should be clearly marked with signs that say MEN or WOMEN. If there have to be symbols instead of words, the man symbol should clearly be a man, and the woman symbol should clearly be a woman wearing a giant, unattractive 'A-line' style skirt. Theme restaurants should NOT use cutesy names like 'Sheilas,' 'Caballeros,' 'Colleens,' 'Galoots,' etc; nor should they use ambiguous drawings that can be misunderstood in dim lighting by a person who has a couple of vodka gimlets and thus finds himself barging into the ladies' room, not that I have done this more than twice."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Maybe he was out of stamps.)

Absentee Florida ballot sent with precious stamp


MIAMI (Reuters) - A Florida voter may have unwittingly lost hundreds of thousands of dollars by using an extremely rare stamp to mail an absentee ballot in Tuesday's congressional election, a government official said on Friday.

The 1918 Inverted Jenny stamp, which takes its name from an image of a biplane accidentally printed upside-down, turned up on Tuesday night in Fort Lauderdale, where election officials were inspecting ballots from parts of south Florida, Broward County Commissioner John Rodstrom told Reuters.

Only 100 of the stamps have ever been found, making them one of the top prizes of all philately.

Rodstrom, a member of the county's Canvassing Board, said he spotted the red and blue Inverted Jenny on a large envelope with two stamps from the 1930s and another dating to World War Two.

The nominal value of the four vintage U.S. Post Office stamps was 87 cents, he said.

"I thought, 'Oh my God, I know that stamp, I've seen that stamp before,'" said Rodstrom, 54, who dabbled in stamp collecting as a boy. "I'd forgotten the name. I just remembered there was a stamp with an upside-down biplane on it and that it was a very rare, rare stamp."

Rodstrom said he did not examine the envelope's postmark, but it had no return address and the ballot was disqualified because it gave no clue as to the identity of the voter.

Election officials have been too busy certifying the outcome of Tuesday's race to have the stamp authenticated, Rodstrom said.

A block of four of the stamps sold for almost $3 million last year, however, and Rodstrom said the one that turned up Tuesday night could fetch about $500,000 for Broward County at auction.

"It's now government property," he said.

A postmark on a stamp usually would hurt its value but Rodstrom said the story behind this one -- plus the fact that it is joined by other old stamps on the envelope -- might actually increase its worth.

Rodstrom said he doubted the stamp would ever be handed over to someone claiming to have mailed it inadvertently.

"It would be hard to prove, I guess you would have to say it was a person who had Alzheimer's," he said.

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