Saturday, October 14, 2006

Phobia of The Day

Nelophobia: fear of glass

Random Fact of The Day

Napoleon had conquered Italy by the time he was twenty-six.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Anything for money.)

Woman "kidnaps" son four times for ransom


MADRID (Reuters) - A Spanish woman staged fake kidnappings of her son four times and got his father to pay her more than a million euros (674,000 pounds) in ransom money, newspaper El Mundo reported on Friday.

Police in the southern Spanish city of Seville arrested the woman and five accomplices, including the 15-year-old son who cooperated in the deception by calling his father on the telephone and begging him to pay up.

The father paid ransoms after the first three fake abductions without realising the involvement of his son's mother, from whom he had separated. He became suspicious the fourth time and hired a private detective, El Mundo reported.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Caption This!



What the f*ck ? I thought you said there was a MOUSE on the table. I can't eat this!

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Show the hot dog some respect, man

Well, I went to the doctor today about my lousy knee, and after a few x-rays it was decided that I would go to physical therapy. So I go for my 1st visit tomorrow afternoon. Whoop dee doo. Yeah. I am thrilled. Can't you tell? The x-rays showed that there is some bone loss in my knee. So I guess it is hurting for a reason. Oh, and get this. While I was there, they gave me a tetanus shot. I wasn't there to get a shot, but that is what I got. I went in for knee pain and I left with arm pain. Some trade off. My friggin arm is still sore where they gave me the shot. Painless my ass.

I hope they don't hurt me too much tomorrow. I am such a wuss.

On a completely unrelated note, I heard the stupidest thing ever said the other day on tv. I think it was on MTV, so the fact that it was stupid is not a big surprise. Well this dude was talking about competitive eating. He was going into a hot dog eating contest. And during the interview, he said this...(and I am paraphrasing cuz I don't remember the actual words, probably cuz I was too dumbfounded to think after I heard this)...

"You can die from eating too much. But I am a professional. And I think being a professional is all about not dying."

Yeah. That was a real gem of wisdom there, buddy. If being a professional is all about not dying, then I am a professional driver, a professional breather, and a professional bather. I am a professional "live-er". It's all about not dying after all. And since I am still alive.....well, you get my point.

I am also a professional smart-ass in case you were wondering.

By the way, this genius also said that he "respected the hot dog."

He's a real Einstein, that guy.

Maybe that's why he was on MTV and not CNN.

Phobia of The Day

Kinetophobia: fear of movement or motion.

Random Fact of The Day

C3PO is the first character to speak in Star Wars.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Here’s my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can’t, he doesn’t."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(People will sell anything for mummy...I mean money.)

Mich. woman tries to sell mummy on eBay


PORT HURON, Mich. - Officials are trying to track down the origins of a mummified human skeleton that a Michigan woman tried to sell on eBay.

The St. Clair County medical examiner's office confiscated the mummified remains Tuesday from the home of Lynn Sterling.

Sterling, 45, told police she got the remains from a friend who works in demolition and said he found them in a Detroit school he helped tear down nearly 30 years ago, police said. She said she had contacted an attorney before posting the remains for sale.

"It's an anatomical, medical-use skeleton," Sterling told The Times Herald of Port Huron. "I would never have put it on (eBay) if I thought it was anything other than an anatomical, medical thing."

Sterling likely won't face charges, Port Huron Police Capt. Don Porrett said, though officials said the remains will be sent to an anthropologist at Michigan State University for further examination.

St. Clair County Medical Examiner Daniel Spitz described the remains as an intact skeleton with mummified tissue. He said age, sex and race could not yet be determined, but said the remains appeared to be those of a child.

"It's very, very old. It's probably some type of anatomical dissection that was part of an anatomy class that over time got into the hands of somebody in the general public," Spitz said.

Port Huron police were notified about the eBay posting by a caller from North Carolina who spotted the item on the online auction site, Porrett said.

EBay spokeswoman Catherine England said the posting was removed Wednesday because it violated a policy against selling human remains. The Web site allows the sale of skeletons for medical use, but not mummified remains.

Curiosity did attract at least one bid before the posting was removed.

"There was a bid on it for $500 from `Satan's Child,'" Porrett said.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I still wanna be a Ghost Hunter

A new season of Ghost Hunters started tonight on the Sci-Fi Channel, and I was so stoked to see it, especially after last season's adventure at the Stanley Hotel. Well, this time the guys at TAPS went to Tombstone, AZ to investigate the Birdcage Saloon, and it did not disappoint. All kinds of crazy shtuff happened there....everything from noises to shadows coming out of nowhere to full-bodied apparitions. I SO wanna a Ghost Hunter. And now I wanna go visit Tombstone, AZ! lol. I know I am crazy. You don't need to say it. It has all been said many times before.

I remember when I was a kid and me, my brother and Cyndi all thought the old gas station down on River Drive (there is a Mc Donald's there now) was haunted. We used to go there all the time in hopes of seeing something. We usually ended up scaring each other by saying stuff like "I saw red eyes!!!" Granted, it was probably just a mouse or a cat or some animal. Heck, it could have even been a person. We lived near the river and a lot of homeless people hung out down there. It was just fun to get scared back then. I still think it is fun to get scared. Just as long as no one gets hurt - lol.

Tonight's South Park was hilarious. I have been getting sick and tired of hearing how this whole 9-11 thing was some mass government conspiracy. People get mad at the USA. It is no secret. Some crazy terrorists got on some planes and hijacked them and crashed them into buildings to show us how mad they are at us. It wasn't a conspiracy. People are just plain nuts! I have been saying this for years and years. People are crazy! Just read the headlines. I read the other day that some woman used her baby to hit her boyfriend or husband or whoever. Yes. Used her little baby as a weapon. How demented is that? And that crazy dude who was text messaging sexual messages to underage boys.....I have just one word for that....ewwwwwwwwww! And then I read that some woman killed her son, went to prison, was let out of prison cuz she had terminal cancer, then got mad at her husband and killed him, too. Now she is back in jail awaiting another trial, and she told everyone that if she is let out again, she will kill her other son. CRAZY! I am telling you....crazy. Just like they said tonight in South Park.....1/4 of the people in the world are retarded (not Down's Syndrome retarded, but Carlos Mencia "dee dee dee" retarded - there is a difference).

Anyhow, I am off to bed. I have to go to the doctor tomorrow morning. I finally caved in and made an appointment to see what is wrong with my damned knee. I guess I will find out soon. I just hope it can be fixed without too much pain - lol.

Phobia of The Day

Oikophobia: fear of houses or of being in a house

Random Fact of The Day

The odds of getting a hole-in-one in golf are estimated at about 18,000-to-1.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers, etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as "A penny saved is a penny earned." Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office. "

Stupid News Story of The Day



(She's a mean, lean killing machine. Emphasis on the "mean.")

Gravely ill woman kills son, is freed, kills husband



SOFIA (Reuters) - A Bulgarian woman who killed her son was released from prison because of terminal cancer. She then went home and killed her husband, police said Tuesday.

The 57-year-old was sentenced to 15 years in jail for killing her 29-year-old son with a garden hoe in April 2005 while he was sleeping.

Last month, authorities judged her to be in the final stages of cancer and let her go home, where she stabbed her husband in the throat with a knife.

"It was established she was in the last stage of cancer, she had it all over her body," said a spokeswoman for the Bourgas regional police.

"They presumed she was feeling bad and she would treat herself and rest. But nothing of the kind. She got aggressive and ... she killed her husband."

The woman, from a village in eastern Bulgaria, has been taken into custody again and is awaiting a new trial.

"She threatened that, if she is released again, she will kill her second son as well," the police spokeswoman said.

"The whole case is like something from the twilight zone."

Monday, October 09, 2006

Caption This!



Tragedy struck today at a minor league baseball game when Herbie the Lovebug, high on premium octane gasoline, drove himself through the fence and killed the left-fielder, Jose Ramirez.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Graphophobia: Fear of writing or handwriting

Random Fact of The Day

Leonardo da Vinci was dyslexic, and he often wrote backwards.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"But my point is that competitive eating is a real sport, and I considered taking it up. But when I thought about what this would mean—sitting around for hours, stuffing my face with unhealthy food—I realized it was basically the same thing as journalism."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(This is just wrong...plain wrong.)

Mom accused of swinging baby as weapon


ERIE, Pa. - A woman used her 4-week-old baby as a weapon in a domestic dispute, swinging the infant through the air and striking her boyfriend with the child, authorities said.

The boy was in serious but stable condition Monday at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh, police said.

"Never, never, never. I can never remember anything like this," District Attorney Bradley Foulk told the Erie Times-News.

Chytoria Graham, 27, of Erie, was charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment and simple assault. She was held Monday in the Erie County Jail in lieu of $75,000 bail.

The infant, whose name was not released, suffered a fractured skull and some bleeding in the brain, authorities said. His head hit Graham's boyfriend, the baby's father, police Lt. Dan Spizarny said.

Authorities removed four other children from Graham's home and placed them with the Erie County Office of Children and Youth, Foulk said.

This and that and a little more of this and a tad more of that

Another weekend has passed. Which means tomorrow begins a new work week, and frankly, that makes me sad - lol. I didn't do anything today but work some on my digital scrapbooking and lounge around the house in my pj's all day. What a day! lol. I want some more pictures of Cyndi and her family (hint hint - hehehehehe) so I can make some more pages. Her kids are just the cutest!

The weather has gotten so nice. It is in the 70's in the daytime and in the 50's at night. I remember why I love fall so much. I love not having to run the A/C all day long. I love being able to wear sweats and slippers in the house at night. I love being able to keep the windows open all day. Why can't it be this way all year long?

I really don't have a whole lot to write about. I haven't been camping in a few weeks. Frankly, I have not had the energy to go camping and my knee hurts too much to go on a long hike. Ugh. The only bad thing about the weather getting cooler is its effect on my bones. Ouch. I was in a lot of pain earlier so I took some Ultracet and now I am nice and pain-free....until tomorrow - lol.

I hope to make another trip to Death Valley or Joshua Tree this fall. It was simply too hot to go earlier in the year, but now that it is October, it should be nice. I really wanna go to Zion National Park sometime too. We'll see. That is a lot of a longer drive than Death Valley or Joshua Tree - lol.

It is 9:30 now, and all I wanna do it crawl into my nice, cumfy bed and relax since I have been at this computer nearly all day long doing this and that. My butt is numb! lol Guess I better go let it de-numb now.

Phobia of The Day

Helminthophobia: fear of being infested with worms

Random Fact of The Day

The ball on top of a flagpole is called a 'truck'.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Q. As a fourth-year medical student, I am wondering if there is any way to remember the difference between “prostrate”‘ and “prostate.”

A. We contacted the Mayo Clinic, which informs us that surgeons there use this simple poem:

If two R’s are found, it is down on the ground
If one R is on hand, then it is a gland

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Stupid News Story of The Day



(You're never too old to get in trouble.)

U.S. border agents arrest 83-year-old on drug charged


PHOENIX, Arizona (Reuters) - U.S. police arrested an 83-year-old woman on suspicion of entering California from Mexico with 10 pounds (4.5 kg) of methamphetamine strapped to her body, officials said on Thursday.

The woman, who is a U.S. citizen, and two Mexican nationals were arrested in San Ysidro, California, on Monday as they drove north from Tijuana, Mexico.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection spokeswoman Angelica De Cima said officers at a U.S. border crossing stopped their car and found the drugs strapped to the body of the retiree and a 40-year-old Mexican woman.

Both women were passengers in the vehicle driven by a 22-year-old Mexican man.

"It's very unusual for us to arrest such an elderly smuggler, but it's not unique," De Cima told Reuters by telephone. "We are catching more drugs at the port and so the Mexican cartels are using more creative techniques to try and get away with it."

San Ysidro, located a few miles (km) south of San Diego, is a key transit point used by Mexican drug cartels to smuggle cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine to U.S. markets.

Methamphetamine, a synthetic stimulant, is prepared in so-called "super labs" in Tijuana and shipped north to market in California, where the chemicals used to make it are more strictly controlled.

De Cima said seizures of methamphetamine, cocaine and heroin had jumped by at least 25 percent at the San Ysidro crossing in the last 12 months.

Phobia of The Day

Optophobia: fear of opening one's eyes.

Random Fact of The Day

The lens of the eye continues to grow throughout a person's life.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Stupid News Story of The Day



(I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you.)

Burning desire to be fireman lands man in jail


SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian conman who wanted to be a fireman stopped at traffic accidents to offer help and even stole a fire truck so he could impress his girlfriend with a joyride, a court heard on Friday.

Simon Francis Jobson pleaded guilty to 30 charges including fraud, theft, forgery and impersonating a public official, local media reported.

Judge Michael Forde sentenced Jobson to five years in jail but told the District Court in the Queensland state capital Brisbane that he would be eligible for parole in a year.

The court heard that Jobson had broken into Queensland fire stations, stealing uniforms, radios and safety equipment during a spree lasting from September 2003 until December 2004 -- soon after he had been released from jail on similar offences.

Pretending to be a fireman, he would stop at traffic accidents and offer help, Australian Associated Press reported.

Prosecutors said Jobson had even done a fire inspection on a pub in Queensland's Sunshine Coast holiday strip and made safety suggestions that were acted upon.

He also broke into a Sunshine Coast fire station and stole a fire truck, which he used in a joyride for his girlfriend, who believed he was a fireman.

Jobson's lawyer Tony Entriken said his client wanted psychiatric treatment because he had a "burning desire to overcome his disorder".

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