Friday, March 18, 2005

Go white boy, go white boy!



Napoleon Dynamite rocks!!!

First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.....
hehe - bet your mind was in the gutter wasn't it ?

Taking the phrase "man's best friend" a little too far

How Would You Like to Meet This Guy?


Oddly Enough - Reuters
BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian man on trial for having sex with dogs claims he did it out of compassion for man's best friend, a Belgian paper said on Friday.

Daily Gazet Van Antwerpen said the 36-year old in the eastern Belgian town of Genk told the court he had sex with dogs "out of love for animals," since a lot of them can't have sex, especially those locked up in refuges.

The man, only identified by his initials, could face six months in jail if convicted.
He had worked in an animal refuge before and had also posted thousands of pictures on the Internet of himself having sex with dogs, the paper said.




nasty!! What is wrong with people??? I ask myself this question everyday - lol

Thursday, March 17, 2005





Happy hour at El Torito in honor of Rosa, who is leaving us at DHS : ( We will miss you!!!
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The Lover Tells of The Rose In His Heart


All things uncomely and broken, all things worn out and old,
The cry of a child by the roadway, the creak of a lumbering cart,
The heavy steps of the ploughman, splashing the wintry mould,
Are wronging your image that blossoms a rose in the deeps of my heart.

The wrong of unshapely things is a wrong too great to be told;
I hunger to build them anew and sit on a green knoll apart,
With the earth and the sky and the water, re-made, like a casket of gold
For my dreams of your image that blossoms a rose in the deeps of my heart

By William Butler Yeats
(1865-1939)
Irish Poet

Gimme back me gold!



St Patrick's Day would not be complete without a mention of that little evil, foul-tempered leprechaun from the aptly-named movie, Leprechaun. While it is typical of the, what I like to call, "cheese whiz" movies (no real plot, little-known actors, not-so-special "special" effects, low-budget), it is kind of fun to see Jennifer Aniston (in her big-screen debut) before she was Friends-famous, and Francis from Pee Wee's Big Adventure as Ozzie, the dim-witted friend of the little boy, Alex. Yes, the writing is terrible, as is such with cheese-whiz movies (we hear such lines as "F*ck you, lucky charms!", and "Burn in hell, you little green bastard!"), and of course it spawned several sequels....5 to be exact, with such creative titles as Leprechaun in The Hood, and Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood, and I am sure there will be more eventually. If you like cheese-whiz movies, you will like this one.

Also, if you like holiday-themed horror films, check out: Valentine, Silent Night, Deadly Night, My Bloody Valentine, Mother's Day, Halloween, April Fool's Day, and Happy Birthday To Me.
I couldn't think of any Easter or Thanksgiving themed horror movies, so if you think of any, let me know.


ewww - this would be just my luck

St Patrick's Day - a brief history

Saint Patrick was the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland who is credited with bringing christianity to Ireland. Most of what is known about him comes from his two works, the Confessio, a spiritual autobiography, and his Epistola, a denunciation of British mistreatment of Irish christians. Saint Patrick described himself as a "most humble-minded man, pouring forth a continuous paean of thanks to his Maker for having chosen him as the instrument whereby multitudes who had worshipped idols and unclean things had become the people of God."




Patrick was born around 385 in Scotland, probably Kilpatrick. His parents were Calpurnius and Conchessa, who were Romans living in Britian in charge of the colonies.

As a boy of fourteen or so, he was captured during a raiding party and taken to Ireland as a slave to herd and tend sheep. Ireland at this time was a land of Druids and pagans. He learned the language and practices of the people who held him.

During his captivity, he turned to God in prayer. He wrote:

"The love of God and his fear grew in me more and more, as did the faith, and my soul was rosed, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers and in the night, nearly the same." "I prayed in the woods and on the mountain, even before dawn. I felt no hurt from the snow or ice or rain."



Patrick's captivity lasted until he was twenty, when he escaped after having a dream from God in which he was told to leave Ireland by going to the coast. There he found some sailors who took him back to Britian, where he reunited with his family.

Patrick preached and converted all of Ireland for 40 years. He worked many miracles and wrote of his love for God in Confessions. After years of living in poverty, traveling and enduring much suffering he died March 17, 461.

He died at Saul, where he had built the first church



Saint Patrick is most known for driving the snakes from Ireland. It is true there are no snakes in Ireland, but there probably never have been - the island was separated from the rest of the continent at the end of the Ice Age. As in many old pagan religions, serpent symbols were common and often worshipped. Driving the snakes from Ireland was probably symbolic of putting an end to that pagan practice. While not the first to bring christianity to Ireland, it is Patrick who is said to have encountered the Druids at Tara and abolished their pagan rites. The story holds that he converted the warrior chiefs and princes, baptizing them and thousands of their subjects in the "Holy Wells" that still bear this name.

Saint Patrick's Day has come to be associated with everything Irish: anything green and gold, shamrocks and luck. Most importantly, to those who celebrate its intended meaning, St. Patrick's Day is a traditional day for spiritual renewal and offering prayers for missionaries worldwide.

Why a shamrock?

Patrick used the shamrock to explain the Trinity, and has been associated with him and the Irish since that time.

Irish Festival Customs

~ Saint Patrick’s Blue is the Saint’s own color. Green came into use in the 19th century.
~ Saint Patrick’s Day is a legal holiday in Ireland. Schools, post offices, and banks are closed.
~ Mass is attended in the morning followed by a parade nearly everywhere. Saint Patrick’s Day is the start of a three day period of devotion.
~ Bread and fish are popular foods for the day.
~ Saint Patrick’s Day plays and concerts are performed in the afternoon. Major hotels have musical lineups.


(from http://www.st-patricks-day.com/about_saintpatrick.asp and http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=89)


Wednesday, March 16, 2005


Be sure to wear green, or you will get a pinch (ouch)
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Internet Hoaxes

You know what these are. They are those emails you get like a thousand times a week from all of your friends, because they think they are VITALLY important that you read them. Well, we all know that good intentions count, but c'mon. Enough already. I get enough SPAM mail as it is. I surely have read just about every "needle in the gas pump" story, or "Dangerous email virus" email there is. Just so you know, here are a few examples of some email hoaxes...stories that are completely and utterly untrue...

Mall Parking Lot Knock Out Perfume
Another stupid e-mail designed to instill fear in old woman. Two people pull up in a car trying to sell perfume in a mall parking lot. They offer a wiff. Um, no I don't buy perfume that often, but I get mine from those prissy nags that spray you as you walk by. The perfume is alleged to be a knock out drug and the unwitty victim is either robbed, raped, kidnapped or all of the above. This one has many variations in circulation All of which are fake. Alot take place at Wal-Mart, what up wit dat! {Hoax}

Flat Tire at the Savannah Mall, and Shady do Gooder
A woman notices a flat tire and while she changes it a man offers to help. He puts his briefcase in the trunk and changes the tire then asks her to give him a ride to his car. She says she has to go buy something and she will be right back. When she returns wit da Police, he is gone. The suitcase supposedly had kidnappin materials inside. Scaaaarrrryyyy! But there is no truth to it according to Savannah mall security and Savannah PD. This one took off across the country inspiring many copycats. But NO! {Hoax}

Old Navy, Abercrombie & Fitch, Gap; Money give away
I don't know how many times I have to say it. Nothing in this world is free. Especially money! Who in their mind would really offer to give someone a 25$ gift certificate for very 10 people I send an e-mail to. I mean I have a good50 people in my address book, let alone all the people on, my joke review mailing list. Just use some common sense. I know your saying well it can't hurt to send it, but damn. the gap and old navy are competitors, why would they work together? Don't ever believe it. {Hoax}

Flesh Eating Bacteria (Costa Rican Banana)
Run away from the Necrotising Fasciitis!!! This beautifully written piece of drivel claims that Costa Rican bananas are infected with a virus that has decimated (a word that means reduced by ten percent) the monkey population. Now these Bananas are Lurking round your local grocers produce section. It was a good read, hope they get Dustin Hoffman for the movie. Don't you believe it. {Hoax}

Kentucky Fried genetically mutated Chicken like substance
Let's not be ridiculous! Do we actually believe that there are giant laboratories housing beakless, featherless intravenously fed chicken blobs. This one said the government made Kentucky Fried Chicken quit using the word chicken in reference to the meat they sell, due to its genetic alterations. Somebody needs kicked in the crotch over this one. {Hoax}

Cookie Recipe for Neiman Marcus
This well written piece of literature inspired many to send it on without regard to, um, thought, I guess. Man charges a recipe thinking he was paying $2.50 but instead paid $250.00. When the company refused to refund his money he vindictively sent the recipe out so everyone could have it. {Urban Legend}

Chain Letter that plays a Video Clip
Send this to eleven people and the coolest video will pop up. For Pete's sake people! Emails cant play videos, there has to be an attachment and you have to actively play it. If you fell for this one you probably shouldn't be using email. {Hoax}

Dying Child Chain Letter
Asks for your help to save this dying child from some terminal illness or another. I got one that said billionaire was going to donate $0.50 for every person that received this email. Another email tracker thing. I thought to myself if my child was dying and some billionaire offered a deal like this, I'd have to sharpen my axe. Evidently there is one that uses the Dave Matthew's Band to convince you of its validity. Wrong again. {Hoax}

There are many, many more examples, but I would run out of room before long if I listed them all. You can check out http://www.3oddballz.com/hoaxes/ if you want to check them out. Pretty interesting stuff.

New South Park episode tonite!

Episode 902: Cartman tries to eliminate hippies from the face of the earth in an all new episode of “South Park,” entitled "Die Hippie, Die," premiering Wednesday, March 16 at 10:00 p.m. Cartman warns the citizens of South Park that it will only be a matter of days before the town becomes the Hippie Capital of the World. No one will believe him until they find out the hippies plan to stage a weeklong music fest. The town has no choice but to turn to Cartman for help. He then puts his plan to eradicate his lifelong enemies in motion. Be sure to tune in



Batteries Included

maybe this will teach people to remove the batteries out of their "toys" before shipping them - hehe
Sex Doll Sparks Bomb Alert at Postoffice


Oddly Enough - Reuters

BERLIN (Reuters) - A blow-up sex doll sparked a bomb alert in a German post office after it started to vibrate inside a package awaiting delivery, police said Wednesday.

"Workers were unsettled when it began vibrating and made strange noises," a spokesman for police in the eastern city of Chemnitz said. "They were worried the package might be a bomb."

Officers brought the sender to the scene and discovered the source of alarm was an electrical device inside a life-size female sex doll. The man told police he had wanted to return the doll because it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment.

Order was restored after the sender removed the doll's batteries so the defective product could be returned.

Good times on a Tuesday night

American Idol was pretty disappointing last night. I think there were only about 4 performances that I liked: Anwar, Bo, Constantine and Nadia. They all did very well. I am glad to see that a few "rockers" are in it this time. I am so tired of all the boy-band wannabes out there who all sound alike. That is why I like Anwar, Bo and Constantine so much. Anwar just has such an amazingly good voice. And Nadia, well, she is in a league of her own. I like Carrie a lot, but she has not been picking songs that suit her lately. Scott also has a good voice, but he is just boring. Overall, the performances last night were mediocre at best, with the exception of the aforementioned four people. I think Mikalah and Nikko need to go.

I went to see The Incredibles last night with my friend, Veronica and her man, Eric at the dollar theatre (well 50 cent theatre on Tuesdays - hehe). It was so funny! I loved the little short film before the feature, called "Boundin'." It was all about this little sheep who liked to dance for his friends and was so proud of his wool coat...until the farmer shaved it all off. Then all of his friends laughed at him and the poor little guy didn't want to dance anymore. Then a jackalope comes along and makes him see that he is still the same ole sheep he was before he was sheared, and he teaches him to dance again. It was soooo cute. I loved it!







The Incredibles, pardon the pun, was an incredible movie. It was so funny and cute, and even though it was geared towards a young audience, it was entertaining enough for adults, too. I would highly recommend it, and will definitely buy it for my DVD collection. It was about this family of superheroes who are forced to live undercover. While Helen (formerly Elastigirl) has managed to settle down into domestic bliss, Bob (formerly Mr Incredible), is unhappy in his job and longs to go back to the days of his superhero glory. I am not going to go too into detail of this movie, in case anyone has not seen it. I hate it when people ruin the movie for me before I have even seen it. I would give it 9 out of 10 stars. Fun for everyone!



Next up for me is going to be The Ring Two. I can't wait til that comes out this Friday. Also, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is coming out in a few months. I am so looking foward to that one! Looks like this year is going to be a good one as far as movies go.

Can you say, "EWWW?"

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She
gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with
both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap,or paper towels in the ladies room."

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Some survey thingamabob

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Kimberly
Birthday:April 4th
Birthplace:California
Current Location:Bakersfield, CA
Eye Color:green
Hair Color:brown
Height:5'4
Right Handed or Left Handed:right handed
Your Heritage:who knows - lol
The Shoes You Wore Today:some funky half-boots from Wal Mart (but they be cumfy!)
Your Weakness:Men's cologne - mmmmmmm
Your Fears:heights, bees (and other flying-stingy things), big dogs, failure
Your Perfect Pizza:extra mushrooms, pepperoni, sausage, bell peppers, onions, olives, more mushrooms, canadian bacon, cheese, lots of sauce and thick crust
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:take a trip somewhere fun - maybe see the Grand Canyon or Yosemite
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:coolio
Thoughts First Waking Up:sh*t - do I really have to get out of bed??
Your Best Physical Feature:eyes
Your Bedtime:midnight on weekdays - whenever on weekends
Your Most Missed Memory:can't remember - guess I don't really miss it that much then - hehe
Pepsi or Coke:Coca Cola baby
MacDonalds or Burger King:neither - yick! (In-N-Out is better!)
Single or Group Dates:depends on the situation
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:neither - tea is gross!
Chocolate or Vanilla:chocolate with caramel
Cappuccino or Coffee:neither - how about a caramel frappuccino instead?
Do you Smoke:no way - nasty!
Do you Swear:h*ll yes muthaf*cker
Do you Sing:yeah, but very bad - very bad! I am no American Idol, that is for sure
Do you Shower Daily:heck yeah - I don't like to be funky smelling
Have you Been in Love:oh yeah <3 <3
Do you want to go to College:been there, done that
Do you want to get Married:yep
Do you belive in yourself:if I didn't, I would be in trouble
Do you get Motion Sickness:nope
Do you think you are Attractive:only average
Are you a Health Freak:nope
Do you get along with your Parents:yep - I have cool parents :)
Do you like Thunderstorms:oh yeah
Do you play an Instrument:I play with myself - does that count? (just kidding!!!!) - I play piano and guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:nope
In the past month have you Smoked:never
In the past month have you been on Drugs:never ever
In the past month have you gone on a Date:yep
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yeah - unfortunately - I hate the mall
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:never - I don't want to eat any raw fish - gross!
In the past month have you been on Stage:on stage??? who writes these questions?
In the past month have you been Dumped:no - not last time I checked - lol
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:never
Ever been Drunk:yeah - yuck
Ever been called a Tease:no - not that I can remember - lol
Ever been Beaten up:um yeah
Ever Shoplifted:never
How do you want to Die:what kind of messed up question is this???
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!
What country would you most like to Visit:Italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:blue, green, brown... I like em all
Favourite Hair Color:I am partial to brown hair
Short or Long Hair:short!
Height:I generally like tall guys, but I am not THAT picky
Weight:I like some meat on their bones - gotta have something to grab onto - hehe
Best Clothing Style:casual
Number of Drugs I have taken:none!
Number of CDs I own:too many
Number of Piercings:one in each ear
Number of Tattoos:none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:hmmm...I will get back to you on this - lol

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Lava in LA?

I was watching tv the other night, and this stupid movie called "Volcano" was on. Even Tommy Lee Jones and Don Cheadle could not save this stupider-than-stupid movie. It pretty much was all special effects and no plot (unless you can call driving around LA and trying to put out fires and stopping lava a plot). It did have some memorable moments. Like the scene where the guy saves another person's life on the downed subway by picking him up and carrying him and jumping into the lava, sacrificing himself, and throwing the other guy to safety. That was cool. But that was the only good scene in the entire film. It did, however, have one of the funniest quotes in movies ...

(Museum personnel are moving paintings from a threatened museum)
1st Guard: "Man, this Hieronymus Bosch is heavy! "
2nd. Guard: "That's because he deals with man's inclination towards sin, in defiance of God's will."
1st. Guard: "I didn't mean it like that."
2nd. Guard: "Oh."



To me, that was just hilarious! (but then, I was an art major and know who Bosch was - lol)

Of course, it also had the lamest quote in movie history too...

Dr Amy Barnes: "We are dealing with very determined stuff here."
(referring to the lava)


I would give this movie a 4 out of 10 stars, only because of the Bosch quote, and the fact that Tommy Lee Jones and Don Cheadle are in it (2 stars for the quote and 1 star each for Jones and Cheadle). Only watch this movie if there is absolutely nothing else on tv. And if it comes on tv late at night, do yourself a favor, and go to bed. Trust me, you will have a much better time.

this one's for you, Chris - hehe
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Alicia's baby shower for baby Alana - March 12, 2005 - she probably needed like 2 or 3 cars to carry home all of her stuff ! I wonder where she put it all - hehe
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Alicia - the guest of honor : )
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