Thursday, May 18, 2006

Craziness

You wanna know something crazy? It is supposed to be 101 degrees outside today. Right now it is 94 outside and the humidity is 33%, which means it SUCKS ass outside. By Sunday, though, the high is supposed to be 70. Up and down the weather goes. Where it stops, no one knows!

And despite it all, I am inside this building wearing a jacket cuz it is freezing in here. It's just nuts!

Caption This!



Fidel Castro shows off his lighter side by playing Peek-a-boo with the audience.

post your own funny caption in a comment if you would like to.

I wanna be a ghost hunter!

Well, Elliott is out on AI. Such a sad, sad day. But I am happy he made it to the final 3. He was the underdog of the show, and seems like such a nice guy who truly feels lucky for having a shot on the show. I wish he would have been the next American Idol, but it is gonna be either Taylor or Katharine, and honestly, after seeing how close the results were last night, I don't know who is gonna win. I just get so sick of hearing "Soul Patrol" from Taylor's mouth, after every performance. I get the feeling that if he does make a record, it is gonna be called "Soul Patrol." If not, then at least one song will be called that. Yeah, he seems like a nice guy, but he is such a spaz! He wears me out by just watching him run from place to place.

I went to the rheumatologist yesterday for a checkup. Big fun. It is always fun to have blood work. (yes, that was sarcasm. I don't actually like having blood taken. Ewww). I have been having a rough time lately with this arthritis crapola. I am always in pain, and no matter how many pills I take, it doesn't go away. I guess it is just a bad flare up or something, but it better go away soon. I am tired of being tired and in pain, damnit! GRRRR. Maybe I should go see Dr House. He could fix me up I bet. And if not, at least I will have something good to look at - hehe.

I watched Brokeback Mountain yesterday evening. Such a good movie and sooooo sad. I wanted to cry at the end. I did especially enjoy the naked butt flashes from Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal - hehe. But the movie really was good.....yet so sad.

I am a new fan of Ghost Hunters on the Sci-Fi Channel. I love that show. Almost as much as I love House. (I said "almost"). Ghost Hunters rocks! That show is so freakin' cool. I wanna be a ghost hunter! I wanna form my own Bakersfield Association for Paranormal Studies. (BAPS) Anyone wanna join??? Bring your own EMF readers and Thermal cams, cuz I don't have any on hand. We'll listen for EVP's and look out for cold spots. It will be awesome!

I am off tomorrow. Gotta love those 3-day weekends. In fact, I have 2 of em coming up in a row (due to Memorial Day). YES. Finally a reason to smile.

Phobia of The Day

Anthrophobia: fear of flowers

Random Fact of The Day

The tulip is the national flower of both Iran and Turkey.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Ask Mister Language Person

"Q. What is the correct usage of the phrase, 'With all due respect'?

A. It is correctly used to 'soften the blow' when you wish to criticize someone in a diplomatic and nonjudgmental manner, as in: 'With all due respect, you are much worse than Hitler,' or 'No disrespect intended, but you have the intelligence of a macaroon.' "

Stupid News Story of The Day



(With friends like these, who needs enemies?)

Friend left as deposit at gas station


BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman left her friend as a deposit at a gas station because she did not have enough cash to pay for her petrol, police said Wednesday.

"She didn't have enough money to pay the bill, so her friend stayed behind as a human deposit while she went to withdraw cash," said a spokesman for police in the southern town of Muenchberg. "Unfortunately, the woman did not return."

Two hours after the 20-year-old driver left, the gas station called the police, who interrogated the stranded "deposit" before releasing her. Police are investigating the driver on suspicion of fraud.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Who will stay and who will go?

Ok - So I missed the first half of last night's AI because I was standing in line at the UPS place picking up my package of camera batteries, so I can't make a qualified prediction on who is gonna stay or who is gonna go. But when it comes down to it, I think it will be Elliott that goes home, even though I REALLY want him to stay. I think he deserves to stay. I am not that captivated by Taylor's funky dancing or on-stage antics, and frankly, the last part of the last song he did last night sucked ass, but you know he will be staying. Of course, that is what I said about Chris and look what happened to him. So, in my mind, no one is a shoe in to make it to the final 2, but I think it will come down to Taylor and Katharine. Katharine did a perfect rendition of "Over The Rainbow." It was just awesome. I think that performance alone will get her into the finals. We shall see.

Phobia of The Day

Brontophobia: fear of thunder and lightning

Random Fact of The Day

Thunder is the sound of the shockwave caused when lightning heats up the air around it to 54,000 degrees F. The hot air expands rapidly, then contracts as it cools. This expansion and contraction generates sound waves, making the sound we call "thunder."

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"The poker guys on TV are usually playing 'Texas Hold-Em,' which is the hottest poker game at the moment, although there are many other popular variations of poker, including Seven Card Stud, Five Card Draw, Alabama Grope 'Em, Omaha High Low, Iowa Bore 'Em, Six Card High Low Medium Jacks Wild Stud Draw Go Fish, Cincinnati Lawn Flamingo, Florida Recount 'Em, Kansas City Clam Enhancer, Arkansas Geld 'Em, New Jersey Whack 'Em, New York Kvetch 'Em, Red Rover, and Whist."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Must...lick....feet!)

Homeless Foot-Licker Charged in Calif.


SANTA ANA, Calif. - A homeless Orange County man who allegedly licked the feet of five boys after promising to cast them in a television commercial has been charged with lewd conduct, officials said Tuesday.

Steven Michael Jones, 43, will be arraigned in Newport Beach Friday, said Sheriff's Department Spokesman Jim Amormino.

Jones, of San Clemente, was charged with five felony counts of lewd acts with a child and one misdemeanor of child annoyance, Amormino said. All the victims were under 14.

If convicted on all counts, Jones faces 16 years in prison.

Sheriff's deputies arrested Jones April 14 near the shore in San Clemente. Witnesses told authorities Jones was wearing a suit the day before when he approached three boys sitting on a bench, Amormino said.

"It's unusual for someone to wear a suit to the beach," Amormino said.

The boys had just come off the beach and were not wearing shoes. Jones allegedly promised them a part in a Johnson & Johnson television commercial, telling them he first needed to inspect their feet, Amormino said.

"He allegedly licked the bottom of one of the boys' feet. The other two boys ran away," Amormino said.

Jones allegedly used a similar ruse March 28 on four boys near Dana Point Library. He said he'd pay them $1,500 to appear in a commercial, but first had to inspect their feet, Amormino said. Jones allegedly licked the feet of all four boys, Amormino said.

Jones was being held on $115,000 bail.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Caption This!


"David Jones's severe allergies were always a big problem during springtime, so he should have known better than to have walked into that garden..."


post your own funny caption in a comment if you would like.

Flip-flopping my work day away

I know it's May, but I think summer is officially arrived in Bakersfield. It was 97 degrees when I left work yesterday, and it is supposed to be 94 today, and in the 90's for the rest of the week. Or maybe this year is just gonna be one of those freaksome years where it is hotter than usual (note that the average high temps for May in B-Town are the low 80's). Then looking ahead to next week, it says it is going to be 72 on Monday, then back up to 91 on Wednesday. Up and down the weather goes (And OF COURSE it is gonna be nice on Monday ...when I am at work).

Now that it is "summer," the summer dress code is in force at work, which is great. That means I don't have to wear pantyhose (aka the devil's socks) when I wear a skirt or when I wear sandals. But the thing that just irks me about this whole dress code is the part where it deems what is and what is not acceptable footwear. Now, I can see that plastic thongs would be unacceptable. This is, after all, a business, and you wear thongs to the beach or pool and not to the office. But this whole part that says you can't wear shoes that make a "flip flop" sound when you walk, because that supposedly is too distracting to other people to hear, just is plain stupid. I wore some sandals (not thongs) that make a flip flop sound when I walk to work today. I tried to see what the whole fuss was about but I didn't see anything. Hell, when I walk, you don't even notice the sound of the shoes because you can't really hear them over the sound of other people talking and typing. Hell, the typing sounds are louder than my damned shoes, so screw them. I am wearing them and if they say anything, I am gonna point out that the sounds of people typing and talking are louder than my shoes, and until they ban typing and talking, I am gonna continue to wear my flip-flopping shoes. They are comfortable, and comfort is my #1 priority when it comes to my feet. Besides, those high heel shoes make a whole hell of a lot more noise when people walk that my piddly sandals do. If they don't like my shoes, they can all just bite me. (But if they do, I am gonna throw my flip-flopping shoes at their miserable, flip-flop-hating heads).

Speaking of annoying things, my email junk mail folder overfloweth. I was getting some 100 junk emails a day and decided that emptying it out on a daily basis was more trouble that it was worth, so I chose to ignore it. So now, I have over ten-thousand junk emails in my box. GRRRRR. How annoying. I think I am gonna try to get it up to 20,000 next - lol.

My junk mail box overfloweth



This is what happens to your junk mail box when you don't clean it out for months.

Phobia of The Day

Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth

Random Fact of The Day

Dutch peanut butter is called "pindakaas" which literally translates into "peanut cheese."

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"All poker games are essentially the same: A person (or, in poker slang, 'dealer') gives you some cards ('cards'), which you look at in a furtive manner ('sneaking a gander') to see if you have a good hand ('bling bling') after which you bet (or 'kiss the eel') by placing money ('cheese') into the pot ('marijuana'). This goes on until somebody ('not you') wins, at which point all the losers express heartfelt congratulations in colorful slang terms."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(See. A penny really IS worth something.)

Power Is Shut Off Over One Cent


FLINT, Mich. - It was just a penny, but to Consumers Energy it was enough to cut off power in a local home. Jacqueline Williams, 41, of Flint had an electricity bill of $1,662.08 and paid all of it, except for one cent. That wasn't enough for the power company, which blacked her out for seven hours Wednesday.

The CMS Energy Corp. subsidiary told Williams the power would not be turned on until the penny was received.

"I went down there, paid my penny and got a receipt," Williams told The Flint Journal.

Shortly after, the electricity was turned back on.

"All of this for one penny," said Williams, who went to the state Department of Human Services for help in April and was told the agency would pay most of the bill.

But she was still short more than $500.

Williams, a Social Security recipient, went to the Salvation Army, where she received $430.67, and Consumers agreed to match $430.66 toward the bill.

However, she was still one cent short.

A Consumers Energy spokesman said that the utility had no choice in the matter, though he was not aware of any similar incidents where service was stopped for one cent.

"This was the first one I've heard about," said Terry DeDoes. He said the company has many programs to help people who fall behind in their utility bills.

Williams said she doesn't want to find herself in the same situation again.

"I'm praying to God I stay on top of my bills," she said.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mirror Lake in Yosemite National Park



Posted by Picasa

Yosemite Weekend

I went to Yosemite this weekend. It was so nice. The weather was perfect and the waterfalls were flowing. Gorgeous place. I would go every weekend if I lived closer. My feet are very sore though. I posted pics and wrote all about it and you can find that BY CLICKING HERE. If you wanna see the pics but skip the boring reading, then you can CLICK HERE. Or go all out and do both. I don't care - lol.

I have to go to civil rights training in a few, so I gotta cut this short. Yep...we all have to go and get training on how to be civilized. Even though we do it every year. I guess they think that after a year we forget all our training and go back to being heathens again.

Phobia of The Day

Ophidiophobia - Fear of Snakes

Random Fact of The Day

The rattlesnake's rattle is made up of a series of nested, hollow beads which are actually modified scales from the tip of its tail. Each time the snake sheds its skin, a new rattle segment is added. You cannot tell a snake's age by the number of rattle segments on its tail, as the snake may shed its skin several times a year.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Commencement Address to the College Class of 2006

"Yes, graduates, as much as you love your Mom and Dad, you're realistic enough to understand that deep down inside, that they are the two most annoying human beings on the planet. And so the time will come - I give it six weeks - when you realize that you can no longer continue living with them. And so you will summon your courage, take a deep breath, and ask them to move out. It's only fair! They've had the house practically to themselves for years! Now it's your turn! Let THEM go work at Starbucks."

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Oops. My bad.)

Cops Lose $31K After Tossing Broken Desk


SOMERVILLE, Mass. - More than $31,000 in drug money seized by Somerville police now is buried forever under tons of garbage in a Rochester, N.H., landfill after officers accidentally stashed the cash in a broken desk drawer that was being discarded.

The drug money went missing after an evidence room technician, who had been cleaning out evidence rooms at police headquarters since last Wednesday, put the $31,535 in the drawer of the broken desk, said acting police Chief Robert Bradley. On Monday, while the technician was out of the office, two other officers involved in the evidence room cleanup threw out the desk, along with broken chairs and furniture for spring cleaning.

Bradley said the normal evidence room technician came back to work, but immediately noticed that the desk was missing. Officials eventually found that the trash and the drawer unit had been hauled to the New Hampshire landfill.

On Wednesday, Somerville officers went to the New Hampshire to try and dig up the cash. However they found it was buried under hundreds of tons of super-dense, hydraulically compacted waste, and there was no way to get to it, even with heavy equipment.

"A very bad mistake," Bradley said of losing the money.

Bradley said the department was investigating to determine whether any disciplinary action was appropriate.

The $31,535, which covers about a dozen investigations conducted by Somerville police since July 1, 2005, was to have been split between the department and the Middlesex County district attorney's office if prosecutors won convictions in those cases.

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