I used to be so mellow...

But not anymore. I have become quite a road-ragin', irritable bitch at times. I admit it. I have come to terms with my bitchiness. I think when you are younger, you are more tolerant to the dumbness of other people, because you don't know better. But as you grow older, and perhaps wiser (even if you only THINK you are wiser), you come to see just how truly stupid people are...including myself...sometimes. For me, it was like a giant blinder came off of my eyes and suddenly the whole world was full of idiots.

I used to blame it on PMS, that old standby excuse that we women love to use. Sometimes it is a valid excuse, but I have come to use that excuse even when I am not PMS'ing, because to me, it feels like I am ALWAYS PMS'ing. I guess when you really think about it, we women ARE always in the stages of PMS. I mean it does come every month (hehe).

Take my loud-ass neighbors. At first when they were playing their music loud, I chalked it up to them being new and maybe having a party or something. But now that they have lived here a while, you'd think they'd wear out of the party stage. I know I did...fast. Now, after months of being woken up by their pounding music at early am hours, I can feel the rage building up inside of me, like some inner heat wave, and then I begin to visualize them being attacked by wild dogs and torn apart, and somehow, yes somehow, this makes me smile. But don't worry folks... I haven't gone looking for wild dogs to sic' on them just yet.

In fact, right now, I am celebrating some sort of revenge, because at this very minute, I am playing MY music (hard rock music) very loud, with my speakers on the floor pointing downwards on the floor so all the noise is directed to them...my subwoofer cranked up to high so their ceiling is shaking. I can feel the floor vibrating below my feet, and this time, it is MY music that is doing it. I hope they are cursing me. I hope they are visualizing me being torn apart by wild dogs and smiling. Maybe then they will know how I feel. Maybe.

Yes, I am a bitch. And I am even somewhat proud of it. I am nice to my friends and people who are nice to me. I have no problem whatsoever in being nice to people. It is my prefered medium of expression. But one can only take so much before he or she cracks. Maybe my little form of revenge is not exactly mean or anything. But it is the best my naturally nice personality can fathom at this point. I guess I have not become a bitch by myself. It took all the stupid, inconsiderate people around me to help out. And thank goodness, I had a LOT of help ;)

It is about 10 pm and it is still 92 degrees outside. Yes, I am bitchin'. What's new.
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"If free trade can really turn all these Third World countries into thriving economies full of entrepreneurs and investors, who's gonna clean the toilets around here?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(When you gotta go, you gotta go!)

High-speed dash to toilet lands Canadian in court

OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian teenager caught driving at almost twice the speed limit told police he had overdosed on a protein drink and was desperately looking for a washroom, the Ottawa Citizen reported on Friday.

Hayder Mobarak's tale did not impress a local judge, who gave him a whopping C$926 (433 pound) fine and banned him from driving for 30 days. Mobarak was clocked doing 195 km per hour (115 miles per hour) on a road where the limit was 100 km/h.

"I was going to the gym and I was taking a protein shake and if you overdose it's really painful. This is why I was rushing to the washroom ... I wasn't thinking, I was in pain," the newspaper quoted 19-year-old as saying.

The incident could cost Mobarak even money later on. An insurance company official told the paper that a high-risk young driver would have to pay C$8,000 a year to insure a new car.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

" I definitely cannot eat oysters. Not for the usual reason - their similarity to snot - but because when I look at the whole oyster I think, 'Hey, that's a little house. Somebody lives in there. I'm not gonna break in on a guy just to have a meal. He might be making a pearl. Maybe he just brought home a do-it-yourself pearl kit and cleared off the dining room table.' Who am I to interfere with the plans of an oyster?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(When you fill up one house with cats, go to the next)

Cops: Woman Had Over 420 Cats in Two Homes

BURKE, Va. - Neighbors who had wondered what that stench was from another town house spent Thursday coming to grips with the answer. Police said the odor was that of more than 100 dead cats, plus nearly 50 more live ones, being kept by an elderly woman.

That same woman was arrested earlier this week after authorities removed more than 270 cats, both alive and dead, from another of her homes in the county's Mount Vernon section.

Ruth Knueven, 82, already faces charges including cruelty to animals and obstruction of justice for the July 8 discovery in Mount Vernon. Police said Thursday they are deciding whether to level additional charges against Knueven after finding 134 dead cats and 47 living ones in a Burke home belonging to her family.

"All of these cats had respiratory disease and there were feces and urine all around the house," said Officer Richard Henry, a Fairfax County police spokesman. He said all the cats found alive in both homes had to be euthanized.

Neighbors in the quiet Burke community on Lakepointe Drive said they had noticed foul smells coming out of the town house, but didn't know what was causing them until police arrived. They said they had seen Knueven hauling heavy garbage bags that they now presume were filled with dead cats.

"Who would've ever thought that they were cats — dead cats — in those bags," said neighbor Nancy Fields. Fields said she had to burn incense in her basement and scour its walls with disinfectant because of the stench coming from next door.

Conditions in the houses did not endanger neighbors and their homes, said John Yetman of the Fairfax County Health Department.

Knueven and her family have been living in a hotel since Friday, when health officials declared her Mount Vernon home unfit for human habitation.

Score: Me - 1 ... Ants - DEAD

If there is one thing all of my friends know is that

Yes, I HATE them. I came home today to find some ants in my kitchen. ARGH! I almost had a heart attack. I got out the good old ant killer and sprayed every last one of those nasty little buggers until they were all good and dead. Of course, I had to go and clean my kitchen after that. I couldn't have dead ants on my floor. Gross! So I mopped the floor with bleach. Let's see them try to come back now! HA! Of course, this is the normal course of events for the summer. I am surprised that they didn't invade sooner. When it is over 100 degrees outside, wouldn't you want to be indoors? Last year they picked my bathroom to invade. They always come into my apartment in the summertime. My last apartment was invaded all the time by those nasty fire ants. They SUCK! They bite and bite and bite, and then they leave these nasty little red, burning, itchy bumps all over where they bit you.

My hatred for ants began when I was about 15 years old. I was climbing a tree (I know...15 years old and climbing trees - insert laugh here) and went grabbing for a branch, unbeknownst to me that a colony of fire ants had picked that very same branch to build their nest on. I grabbed the branch, and almost at once, I felt what was like a thousand tiny, red-hot needles poking into my hand and arm. I looked at my arm, only to see, to my horror, that it had turned red and black from the ants. I screamed and let go of the branch and fell about 10 feet down to the ground. I don't know what hurt worse...falling on my ass, or the ant bites on my hand and arm.

My arm was swollen with ant bites for days, and it was at that point that I vowed my revenge on all ants, big and small. Death to the ants!

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"One reason not to get a tattoo is that a tattoo is positive identification. No one should ever do anything to help the police. Especially when you may be the object of their interest."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(If at first you don't succeed, try it as a woman)

Court jails man over "female athlete" scam

HARARE (Reuters) - A Zimbabwean court has jailed a man masquerading as a female athlete for three-and-a-half years, court officials said on Thursday.

Samukeliso Sithole -- a triple jumper and runner who competed as a woman at several international sports events -- was convicted on charges of impersonation and offending the dignity of a woman athlete who undressed in his presence, unaware he was a man.

"He was sentenced to four-years imprisonment, but six months were suspended. Effectively he will serve three-and-a-half years," said a court official in Kwekwe, central Zimbabwe, where the case was heard.

Sithole won a gold medal at a regional tournament in Botswana in June last year and won five medals at a youth championship in Mauritius. He also competed in javelin and shot-put competitions.

Sithole told the court at his first appearance that he had both female and male organs and that he lived as a woman after consulting a traditional healer. A medical examination showed that he was a man.

I hate my neighbors...

I know I have said this before, but I hate them...or him...you never know exactly who lives downstairs from me, because there are always a bunch of people over there it seems. One night, the dumbass locked himself out and decided it would be easier to bust down the door than to go to the landlord. Yeah...say it with me .... "STUPID!" I was on my couch watching tv, when I heard these loud BOOMS coming from downstairs. I went outside on my porch and looked down and the stupid idiot yells up at me, "I locked the keys inside." As is that were some excuse for him trying to break down his door. Once again, "STUPID!"

Last night, as is the case with many nights, the dumbass was playing his music VERY LOUD... again. Not only that, but I could hear the idiots talking, or more like yelling, because they talk so damned loud. They are foreigners, I think, because they talk in another language...Indian people maybe. All I can hear is some yibber-yabbering coming through my floor. That is not the part that bugs me. It is the part where they TALK SO DAMNED LOUD that bugs me. What I figure is that they must have gone semi-deaf over listening to loud music and now have to talk loud in order to hear each other... OR, they have to talk that loud to hear each other over the loud-ass music. I think it is the former of the two, because I hear them talking loud when the music is not even on. In addition to the louder-than-a-jackhammer music, the idiot also has his computer on LOUD, because I can hear the sounds of instant messaging coming through my floor.

I hate them!

Women's and Men's Prayers

Female Prayer:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he is gainfully employed,
When I spend his money, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Messages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And will always be my very best friend.
Amen


Male Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit!
Amen

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"When you're out in traffic, never get behind anybody weird. Y'ever get stuck behind a guy whose turn signal has been on for about eighty miles? And you're thinkin' to yourself, 'Well, maybe he's just a really cautious man. I'm not gonna pass him now, he may turn at any moment.' And later you discover he was driving around the world - to the left!"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Boobies for everyone!)

Must be bad news for local beauty pageants

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - Armed bandits in Brazil robbed a vehicle carrying more than 400 breast implants, officials said on Tuesday.

"It happened last week, but we only learned about it recently as our clients started complaining. It is the hottest period of the year in terms of implant sales," said Margaret Figueiredo, director of silicone implant manufacturer Silimed.

A spokesman for the state Postal Service confirmed that assailants, apparently men, robbed the postal van with implants on Thursday night in Rio de Janeiro. Each Silimed breast implant costs nearly $400.

The popularity of Brazil's plastic surgery pioneer and trendsetter Ivo Pitanguy, whose clients include celebrities like Sophia Loren, has made the tropical country one of the leading international nip and tuck venues.

Figueiredo explained demand is the highest in July, during the southern hemisphere winter, as women schedule surgery during the winter school holidays, which precede the beach season.

Figueiredo said the implants, each bearing an individual number, could now only be sold for clandestine surgeries. Horrific stories abound in Brazil about the illegal operations that can cause gangrene and death.

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Bakersfield sucks!
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I haven't done one of these things in a while

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

It's hot...damned hot!

I just want to take this moment to say that Bakersfield sucks! This is the forecast for this week.....FRIGGING HOT! The high temps are supposed to be 103 for today, then 106, 107, 104, and 102 for the rest of the week. And next week doesn't look any better. The lowest high temp is supposed to be 99. Gosh, I hate summer! I am so thankful for air conditioning. But my poor plants on my patio are doomed.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(What is it with these Virginia women and cats??)

Va. Police Remove 246 Cats From Two Homes

FAIRFAX, Va. - Animal control officers have removed 187 cats from a house in Mount Vernon and 59 cats and one dog from a home in Falls Church, authorities said Monday.

In the Mount Vernon case, police went to a home on Ludgate Drive, Friday, to find Ruth Knueven, 82, living inside with 187 cats. Officers said the dead bodies of 86 more were left in trash bins outside.

Most of the surviving cats were sent to an animal shelter, but animal control officers said they have to go back and get some cats that are still living in the walls and chimney.

In another case, officers found 59 cats and a dog at a house on Hillsborough Drive in Falls Church on June 27. The bodies of 29 dead cats were also found on the property where authorities said Jane Baldinger, 58, lived. Animal control officials took the surviving cats and dog into their custody.

In both cases, neighbors complained of foul stenches surrounding the buildings.

Both women have been charged with failure to care for animals. Both homes have been condemned and officials were helping the women find temporary housing.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"You know why I stopped eating processed foods? I began to picture the people who might be processing them."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Do you take this cow to be your wife? ... I moooooo)

Cattle Wed in 2,000-Guest Thai Ceremony

BANGKOK, Thailand - Farmer Amphol Wangboon was hesitant to give up his beloved Thong Khaow for marriage until he found her the perfect match and a dowry he couldn't refuse: truckloads of fresh grass, hay, maize and $2,400.

So Thong Khaow and her new mate, Thong Kham — a pair of rare dwarf Brahman cattle — were married Sunday morning in a traditional Thai ceremony featuring a banquet for more than 2,000 human guests in central Sa Kaew province.

The animals wore silk outfits and jasmine garlands. Other beasts, including goats, also attended the wedding.

Amphol said Thong Kham's owner, Krachang Kanokprasert, offered him the cash and the feed dowry as part of the wedding festivities.

"I wasn't going to sell her — she's a special find — but Krachang said he would take care of her and wanted the couple for a display in front of his restaurant," Amphol said. "If he takes good care of her, I don't mind giving her to him."

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

G.C's Guide to Dining Out
"I think when you eat out you should have a little fun; it's good for the digestion. Simple things. After the waiter recites a long list of specials, ask him if they serve cow feet."

Fake News Story of the Week

James Ironcheeks kisses his boyfriend, Tommy Headsterman, on the cheek after a visit to the doctor. Tommy was diagnosed with biggadaheadda syndrome when he was a baby. "His head was so big, that even a cesarean section was almost not enough to get him out," his mother's ob/gyn was quoted as saying. Nowadays, Tommy says he is quite happy with his gigantic head size, but says finding hats is impossible, and he can only wear shirts that button or zip up. Tommy told us, "Sometimes having a big head is a pain. I have to use almost a whole bottle of shampoo when I wash my hair. The barber charges me double when I get a haircut, and people always assume I am a genius with the size of my brain. I am sorry to tell you, but I was always a C student. I guess size doesn't always count."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oooh spank me...ouch...not so hard)

Strippers Arrested in Alleged Spanking

JACKSONVILLE, Ark. - Three strippers and two nightclub managers have been arrested for allegedly spanking a trucker at his 31st birthday bash and severely bruising his backside.

After his friends paid $25, Keith Lowery was handcuffed and spanked with a 3-foot-long paddle and a belt while one of the strippers restrained his head with her legs, investigators with the Pulaski County Sheriff's Office said.

Kelly Eslick, 21, a stripper at Sensations nightclub in Jacksonville, northeast of Little Rock, admitted to police that she used a paddle drilled with holes for less air resistance while the two other dancers, Lisa Nolen, 23, and Charlene Smith, 23, used the belt.

The three women were charged with misdemeanor battery, and they and two other club employees — James Daugherty, 31, and Dena Mitchell, 30 — were charged with participating in an obscene performance at a live public show, a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

Daugherty had planned to have patrons sign a waiver releasing the club from liability, but investigators said the club has agreed to discontinue all spankings. All five club employees were arraigned Friday, then released after receiving an Aug. 4 court date in Pulaski County District Court.

Yosemite Pics

All of my Yosemite/Mono Lake/Bodie pictures are uploading right now to my Yahoo Photo Album and will be available to view in ... oh ... an hour or so (lol). It takes a long time to upload 142 pictures! hehe.

on Tioga Pass
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Dechambeau Hotel & Post Office (brick building)and the I.O.O.F Hall in Bodie State Historic Park
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View of Cloud's Rest from Olmstead Point on Tioga Road
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Weekend Warriors

Well, we went camping again this weekend...surprised??? (hehe). This time, we went back to Yosemite, only this time, Tioga Pass was open. Woo hoo! I will post some pics and write all about it on my other weblog ( http://www.kimmerzy.blogspot.com tomorrow. I am pretty tired tonite after all the driving I did over the weekend. To give you an idea of how much driving I did, I am posting a map of the route from here (Bakersfield, CA) to the final destination on our trip, Bodie State Historic Park in California.



Doesn't look all that far, but it is over 300 miles to Bodie from here. I am pooped, but I had a great trip. We even saw a bear at our campsite! I was so excited/scared all at the same time. (lol). I will write more about it tomorrow. Right now, I am gonna post some trip pics and then lie down and go to bed at a decent hour tonite.