1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on.
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its 'sell by' date.
9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Ahhhhh.....this track is so comfy!)
Man fined for falling asleep on railway track
LONDON (Reuters) - A drunken businessman who fell asleep on a railway track causing rush hour disruption was sentenced to 180 hours' community service on Friday.
Network Rail staff took half an hour to try and wake company director Kevin Craswell after he passed out on a line near Epsom last March after drinking a large amount of vodka.
Video pictures taken by a police helicopter showed him using the track as a pillow with a train passing near his head on another line.
Rail services were disrupted for about four hours during the afternoon rush hour.
Craswell, 48, from Ashtead in Surrey, was given an 18 months' community order in addition to the community service and ordered to pay 560 pounds compensation at Redhill magistrates.
He had pleaded guilty last month to "obstructing the railway by neglect".
I am done!!!
I am done with all of my Christmas shopping, wrapping and packing. Whew! What a job it was. I mailed out all of my Christmas cards yesterday. I mailed out Leif's presents yesterday, and I mailed out Cyndi's presents today (and there are even a few things in there for Zach and Gabe, too). The line at the post office was freakin' long yesterday. I got there around 3 pm and I musta spent 40 minutes in line, and I was so damned hungry cuz I hadn't eaten all day. I thought I was gonna pass out - lol. The line today wasn't quite as long. I was probably only in line for about 15 minutes. But I am done and presents are on their way!
My whole apartment was a complete mess. Just take a look at my bedroom floor.....
The paper ornaments came out really cute. I am totally loving my Photoshop program. I did all of the ornaments myself, pixel by pixel, on Photoshop. So each one is totally unique. I made snowmen, trees and reindeer, and all of them are personalized. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it. I think I made over 30 ornaments altogether.
It is raining today. I am glad I went to the post office when I did...before it started to really rain. I hate driving in the rain. People around here just don't know how to drive in the rain. We don't get much rain here, so when the rain comes down, people get confused
My whole apartment was a complete mess. Just take a look at my bedroom floor.....
The paper ornaments came out really cute. I am totally loving my Photoshop program. I did all of the ornaments myself, pixel by pixel, on Photoshop. So each one is totally unique. I made snowmen, trees and reindeer, and all of them are personalized. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it. I think I made over 30 ornaments altogether.
It is raining today. I am glad I went to the post office when I did...before it started to really rain. I hate driving in the rain. People around here just don't know how to drive in the rain. We don't get much rain here, so when the rain comes down, people get confused
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Your standard man, at this point in the Christmas season, has purchased zero gifts. He has not yet gotten around to purchasing an acceptable gift for his wife for LAST Christmas. He did give her something last year, but he could tell by her reaction to it that she had not been dreaming of getting an auto emergency kit, even though it was the deluxe model with booster cables AND an air compressor. Clearly, this gift violated an important rule, but the man had no idea what this rule was, and his wife was too upset to tell him."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Room service...it's no longer just for humans.)
Mumbai dogs get home-delivered meals
MUMBAI, India - Mumbai's fussy high-society dogs can now feast on gourmet cuisine specially adapted to their individual tastes and delivered to their homes.
More than 500 people have signed up for the Home-Care Dog Food service that caters to canines in Mumbai, India's booming financial and entertainment capital, said the owner of the business, Wasiff Khan.
"They tell us about their dog's likes, dislikes, allergies, and we come up with a meal plan for the month," Khan said.
Owners' habits are also taken into account, said Khan. On Hindu holidays when people do not eat meat for religious reasons, their dogs go vegetarian too.
Those who can afford the service, which costs from 30 rupees to 120 rupees ($0.66 to $2.60) daily, are attracted by the convenience, said Khan.
Before now, such pet pampering was unheard of in India, where hundreds of millions of people earn less in a day than the cost of these meals and where stray dogs are found on every street corner.
Demand for luxuries has grown however as India's economic boom generates a large middle class with disposable income, as well as a small group of very wealthy, particularly in Mumbai.
"When you eat well, so should your dogs," said Khan, now experimenting with meat-based birthday cakes for his clients.
J.C. Khanna, secretary of the local Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said it was just a case of people trying to do what is best for their pets.
"The poor share meals with dogs, they spend on medicines if their dog falls sick," he said of shanty-dwellers who care for stray dogs in Mumbai.
"If the rich can afford to feed their dogs like this, so be it, as long as dogs are loved," he added.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Random Thought For The Day
I was thinking, this morning, about sizes. They have extra small, small, medium, large, extra large, etc. So, why don't they have extra medium??
Don't worry. I don't think very much.
Don't worry. I don't think very much.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide
Gifts For Men
"Men are amused by almost any idiot thing -- that is why professional ice hockey is so popular -- so buying gifts for them is easy. But you should never buy them clothes. Men believe they already have all the clothes they will ever need, and new ones make them nervous. For example, your average man has 84 ties, but he wears, at most, only three of them. He has learned, through humiliating trial and error, that if he wears any of the other 81 ties, his wife will probably laugh at him (You're not going to wear THAT tie with that suit, are you?). So he has narrowed it down to three safe ties, and has gone several years without being laughed at. If you give him a new tie, he will pretend to like it, but deep inside he will hate you. If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(How many licks does it take to get to the drugs in the center of a Tootsie Pop?)
Spain foils plot to smuggle drugs in lollipops
MADRID (Reuters) - Spanish police foiled an attempt to smuggle cocaine into the country inside confectionery lollipops, a regional government official said on Tuesday.
Gang members in Colombia packed the drug into 55 lollipops and sent them by airmail via Madrid's Barajas Airport, Vicente Ripa Gonzalez, governor of the northern region of Navarra, told a news conference in Pamplona.
"Let me warn traffickers...whether they transport drugs in powerful vehicles or lollipops, by land or by air...as long as they don't rest, neither will we," he said in a statement.
He did not specify when the operation took place or estimate the weight or value of the consignment.
Civil Guard officers and customs officials intercepted the package at the airport and the post office traced the addressee in the town of Tafalla.
Police arrested a 52-year-old woman from the Dominican Republic at the address and later detained a 26-year-old Dominican man and his 34-year-old Colombian girlfriend.
Police in Navarra had seized 400 kg (880 lb) of drugs and arrested 350 people in connection with drug trafficking in the past 2-1/2 years, Ripa Gonzalez added.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Christmas shopping - oh joy
Oh my gosh. Have I actually finished my Christmas shopping early this year? By golly, I think I have done it! For once, I am actually done shopping early. I braved the mall on Saturday and Target, too. And by this evening after work, I was officially done with my Christmas shopping. Woo hoo!
Not that it was an easy task. I hate shopping. Hate it. I hate malls. I hate going to Wal-Mart. I hate even going to the grocery store. It is too cold after work to drag my ass out of my apartment and trek to the stores from my car. By the time I get in the store, I am an icicle. And it is usually so darned hot in the store that I start to sweat. Then I go back outside, only to re-freeze. My nose starts running and my hands go numb. Yeah. It is so much fun. It just isn't a pleasant experience at all. I much prefer to do my shopping online.
But, I still enjoy buying things for other people, knowing that they will feel special on Christmas when they open my gifts to them. I love giving presents. Much better than I like receiving them. My friend Alicia asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I really couldn't think of anything I HAD to have. I pretty much have everything I need. I like everything. It is the thought that counts, after all.
Anyway, the fog has returned to B-Town. It was foggy and cold this morning, which didn't really motivate me to want to go to work. I was sooooo sleepy today. I actually had to lie my head down 3 times today....on my 2 breaks and on my lunch break. So sleepy. I am gonna head to bed after I finish this blog entry, as a matter of fact.
I still have to finish my Christmas cards. I am making paper ornaments to put in each of the cards. They are coming out really cute too. Hope everyone likes them :)
Oh shoot. I did forget one thing. I have to go back to Dewar's tomorrow. I bought caramel chews to put in the gift baskets, but I have eaten most of them. Hey. They are yummmers! I couldn't help myself - hehe.
Not that it was an easy task. I hate shopping. Hate it. I hate malls. I hate going to Wal-Mart. I hate even going to the grocery store. It is too cold after work to drag my ass out of my apartment and trek to the stores from my car. By the time I get in the store, I am an icicle. And it is usually so darned hot in the store that I start to sweat. Then I go back outside, only to re-freeze. My nose starts running and my hands go numb. Yeah. It is so much fun. It just isn't a pleasant experience at all. I much prefer to do my shopping online.
But, I still enjoy buying things for other people, knowing that they will feel special on Christmas when they open my gifts to them. I love giving presents. Much better than I like receiving them. My friend Alicia asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I really couldn't think of anything I HAD to have. I pretty much have everything I need. I like everything. It is the thought that counts, after all.
Anyway, the fog has returned to B-Town. It was foggy and cold this morning, which didn't really motivate me to want to go to work. I was sooooo sleepy today. I actually had to lie my head down 3 times today....on my 2 breaks and on my lunch break. So sleepy. I am gonna head to bed after I finish this blog entry, as a matter of fact.
I still have to finish my Christmas cards. I am making paper ornaments to put in each of the cards. They are coming out really cute too. Hope everyone likes them :)
Oh shoot. I did forget one thing. I have to go back to Dewar's tomorrow. I bought caramel chews to put in the gift baskets, but I have eaten most of them. Hey. They are yummmers! I couldn't help myself - hehe.
Random Fact of The Day
Dentists in medieval Japan extracted teeth by pulling them out with their fingers.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"At this point in the Christmas season, your standard woman has already purchased and wrapped thoughtful gifts for approximately 600 people, including her children, her relatives, her friends, her husband's relatives, her coworkers, the children of her friends, relatives of children of her friends, coworkers of friends, relatives of children of her friends, coworkers of friends of her relatives, husbands of her coworkers' relatives' friends, etc. She has also purchased several thoughtful gifts for nobody in particular, so she will not be in the horrifying position of receiving a gift from somebody for whom she does not have a retaliation gift."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Gimme back my pot!)
Man calls 911 to report stolen drugs
WICHITA, Kan. - A Wichita man called 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100 that he had been trying to sell at his home.
The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs.
Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia.
The victim was booked into Sedgwick County jail on several charges, including possession with the intent to sell drug.
The thief has not been found.
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