Stupid News Story of The Day

(Sorry. Wrong number.)

Two Men Arrested After Mistaken 911 Call

ENID, Okla. - Two men were jailed on arson complaints after one of them hit the wrong button on a cell phone, giving 911 dispatchers an account of a plot to set a vehicle on fire.

Enid police Capt. Jim Nivison said from that call, 911 dispatchers and a shift supervisor listened for nearly four hours to the two Enid natives as they drove across town, first planning to steal an acquaintance's car, then deciding to build an incendiary device out of a light bulb to burn the car up.

"It's all on tape; we've got the whole thing," Nivison said. "They made some pretty dumb statements. One of the males said. 'It's gonna burn, will they be able to get fingerprints?' and 'I've got the lighter, Dude. Let's go.' "

Johnny Ray Miller, 48, was arrested on complaints of third-degree arson and transporting an incendiary device. Robert A. Patterson, 24, was arrested on complaints of third-degree arson and manufacturing an incendiary device. Both also were jailed on conspiracy complaints.

I am mad

I am so mad that Kevin or Bucky didn't get the boot on American Idol. They weren't even in the bottom 3! GRRRR! Instead, Melissa, who sings a whole hell of a lot better than Kevin and Bucky, got booted. WTF? Kevin needs to go! C'mon people. Get it right next time.

Random Fact of The Day

Lego’s Danish founder Ole Kirk Christiansen named the famous bricks in 1934 by fusing two Danish words, “leg” and “godt” meaning “play well.”

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"You know it's only a matter of time before we see stores that have no products at all, just empty aisles prowled by salespersons who glom onto you and relentlessly hector you until you buy a service agreement. Think of the profit margin."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Bad me! Bad, bad, bad me!)

Man Hits His Own Car Then Sues Himself

LODI, Calif. - When a dump truck backed into Curtis Gokey's car, he decided to sue the city for damages. Only thing is, he was the one driving the dump truck. But that minor detail didn't stop Gokey, a Lodi city employee, from filing a $3,600 claim for the December accident, even after admitting the crash was his fault.

After the city denied that claim because Gokey was, in essence, suing himself, he and his wife, Rhonda, decided to file a new claim under her name.

City Attorney Steve Schwabauer said this one also lacks merit because Rhonda Gokey can't sue her own husband.

"You can sue your spouse for divorce, but you can't sue your spouse for negligence," Schwabauer said. "They're a married couple under California law. They're one entity. It's damage to community property."

But Rhonda Gokey insisted she has "the right to sue the city because a city's vehicle damaged my private vehicle."

In fact, her claim, currently pending at Lodi City Hall, is for an even larger amount — $4,800.
"I'm not as nice as my husband is," she said.

American Idol recap

Last night's American Idol got off to a slow start, and at first I thought, "Ugh...what is with these people?" Ace's performance, I thought, just sucked. He was off key and flat a couple of times, but the audience and judges, except for Simon (of course) seemed to think he did ok. He better shape up, cuz his pretty face can only take him so far. Kellie....oh Kellie. Where do I start? She was just boring...yawn. I thought I was going to fall into a coma listening to her. Normally, I like her, but not last night. Elliott, though, did pretty well. I like him for some reason. Mandisa, of course, did well, even though it wasn't as strong as her previous performances. Bucky, a singer who I don't like as well, actually did a decent performance last night. He still lacks the vocal chops of some of the others, but it looked like he was having a good time on stage.

Melissa...hmm...She did an ok job, even though she forgot some of the lyrics. It wasn't as great as the judges made her out to be, but it was ok. Just ok. Not great. Not bad. It was ok. Lisa did a great job on her song. She is the youngest one in the competition, but she is a stronger singer than many. Kevin....oh geez. Why is he still in the competition? His version of "Part Time Lover" made me want to change the channel. It was terrible! I guess he has the baby face thing going for him, but c'mon! They are supposed to be judged on singing not cuteness.

The final singers of the night, Katharine, Taylor, Paris and Chris, all did fantastic jobs. Now Katharine, she can sing. When she was singing, for the first time that night I thought, "Now this is what the show is about! Singing!" She has some vocal chops on her. Taylor, despite his hair, is just awesome. He was amazing last night. He can sing and he can get the crowd going. He has a lot of appeal. Paris did a great job too. Even though she is young, she can sing. But Chris, he topped them all. He just rocks. I think he will win the whole thing. I was wondering how he would pull off a Stevie Wonder song, since you don't really associate Stevie with hard rock, but man, he did it!

So, who's going to go home? Well, it will probably be either Bucky or Kevin, but since Kevin has that whole "I'm too cute to be sent home" thing going for him, it will probably be Bucky.

Random Fact of The Day

The only continent without native reptiles or snakes is Antarctica.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Every man knows he needs a bigger TV. But you-know-who is standing in his way: The same 'Negative Nelly' who always tries to hold him back when he has a visionary household idea, such a washing underwear in the dishwasher, or installing a urinal in the bedroom: his wife. The instant he tells her he needs a new TV, she's going to start coming up with nitpicky legalistic arguments like: 'But our current TV works fine!' Or: 'But we bought a new TV yesterday!' Or: 'But we're broke and we live in a homeless shelter!' Women! Always rules by their emotions."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(How about a zillion dollar bill with Bill Gates's picture on it?)

You got change for a Grover Cleveland, pal?

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The counterfeit money looked good, but there was one flaw. There's no such thing as a one billion dollar bill.

U.S. Customs agents in California said on Tuesday they had found 250 bogus billion dollar bills while investigating a man charged with currency smuggling.

Tekle Zigetta, 45, pleaded guilty to three federal counts of trying to bring cash, phony bills and a fake $100,000 gold certificate into the United States in January.

Further investigation led agents to a West Hollywood apartment where they found the stash of yellowing and wrinkled one billion dollar bills with an issue date of 1934 and bearing a picture of President Grover Cleveland.

"You would think the $1 billion denomination would be a giveaway that these notes are fake, but some people are still taken in," said James Todak, a secret services agent involved in the probe.

Random Fact of The Day

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Stores LOVE service agreements for the same reason you'd love to have money to fall on you from the sky. As a result, when you buy a product today, you get this bizarre multiple-personality sales pitch, because at the same time that the salesperson is telling you how swell the product is, he's suggesting it will need a LOT of service:

SALESPERSON: This is an excellent product. Totally reliable.

YOU: I'll take it!

SALESPERSON: It's going to break.

YOU: What?

SALESPERSON: There's this thing inside? The confabulator? You're lucky if that baby lasts you a week.

YOU: So you're saying it's NOT a good product?

SALESPERSON: No! It's top of the line! Totally dependable!"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Here's a couple headed for divorce court.)

Now THERE'S a couple that knows how to fight!

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A Mexican couple were recovering separately after a marital spat got out of control and saw them firing guns, throwing knives and hurling homemade bombs, Mexican daily Milenio said on Monday.

In scenes taken straight out of hit romantic comedy "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Juan Espinosa and Irma Contreras fought until their house blew up in a homemade gasoline bomb explosion, Milenio said.

Police called to the home in the indigenous Mayan Indian town of Oxkutzcab in the southeastern state of Yucatan arrested Espinosa. Contreras was taken to hospital with third-degree burns.

A local police official confirmed the report but declined to provide further information.

In the violence-filled movie about the fictional Smiths, Pitt and Jolie play married assassins ordered to kill each other.

Espinosa told reporters he was glad his wife had suffered burns, while Contreras said she was only sorry she had not "hacked off his manhood" during the fight.

Random Fact of The Day

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Stuff

It is Monday, so my brain is quite dead this morning, as I am from lack of sleep. Even with a sleeping pill last night, I still woke up 3 times. Grrrrr. Sunday nights just weren't meant for sleeping. Since I can't think very well, I am just gonna write a list this morning. I don't wanna strain my brain too much just yet - hehe.

Things I like:

CSI (Gil Grissom is da man!)
Long drives with good tunes on the radio to sing along to.
Day trips
Taking pictures ...of anything and everything
Thunderstorms (lightning is so cool!)
Watching snow fall
Rainbows (they are purty)
Space Ghost Coast to Coast (Zorak is one bad bug)
Ash (from The Evil Dead - he kicks some deadite ass)
Gerbera daisies
Teddy bears
Sudoku (damned addictive game!)
Napoleon Dynamite (sweet!)
South Park
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
BJ's (the restaurant, not THAT, you perv!)
Camping
Waterfalls
Mango-Peach tea candles from Pier One (they smell soooooooo good)
Cheez-Its (yummmy)
Tidepools
Summer rain when it's sunny outside
Dogs
George Carlin
Clerks
Mc Donald's fries
Sonic onion rings
In-N-Out burgers
80's hair bands
Caramel frappuccinos from Starbucks
Peach cobbler
Cobblestone streets
Sleeping in!!!

Things I hate:

Holes in my pockets
Boy bands
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline (just go away! please??)
Award shows
Reality tv
Steven Seagal (could there be a worse actor than him??)
Water chestnuts (bleh)
Cavities
Snobs
People who drive 45 mph on the freeway
Ants (yuckkkkkkk!)
People who don't lower their high beams for me when driving at night (GRRR)
Dead batteries
My hair, when it's frizzy
No-shows (at work)
Poison oak
Political correctness (blahhhh)
Getting up early
Insomnia
Aches and pains
Going to the dentist

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Today, TV technology is extremely sophisticated, to the point where most of your higher-end TV sets can be operated only by children. When you walk into a TV store, the salesperson bombards you with scary technical terms such as 'HDTV,' 'plasma,' 'diagonal,' and 'service agreement.' And the prices! You may have to choose between buying a new TV and sending your children to college! So you definitely want it to be the right TV."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(More proof that people will sell anything on eBay.)

Woman Sells Ad Rights to Pregnancy on eBay

ST. LOUIS - If the human body is the last frontier for advertising space, then St. Louis resident Asia Francis is helping chart new territory — the big, pregnant belly.

Francis, 21, auctioned off the advertising rights to her pregnancy on eBay. The winning bid of $1,000 went to a California Internet company, giving it exclusive rights to temporarily tattoo its brand-name on Francis's belly and broadcast the birth of her daughter live on the Internet. The baby is due any day.

The concept of a human billboard is hardly new.

Twenty-one year old Andrew Fischer of Omaha, Neb., earned more than $37,000 last year by bearing a corporate logo on his forehead for a month. Michele Hutchison of Lanhorne, Pa., auctioned ad rights for her baby's clothing on eBay last year, seeking $1,000 for a months' lease.

For big companies, the idea is simple. Do something outrageous or strange, grab some media attention and cut through the clutter of advertising messages that bombards consumers.

"It's a well-held theory in the advertising industry that the average person on the street receives up to 3,000 branded messages a day," said Floyd Hayes, whose New York advertising firm, Cunning Communications, specializes in media stunts.

The pregnant belly is prime real estate for auction because its likely to get people talking, Hayes said.

"If they were to buy the free coverage they will receive for this, it would cost them many times more the fee they paid the person," he said.