Bakersfield firemen hard at work. I went to get lunch today and this is what I saw across the street. I am such a camera freak that I take it with me all the time - hehe
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You can see the burnt buidling next to the fire truck. I wonder how it started?
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Some good-ole humor

Why "Romeo and Juliet" wouldn't work in modern times.

(sorry - it didn't scan very well :( Next time I will draw with a better pen and paper - hehe)

Express yourself

For those creative types, or people who are bored and having nothing better to do, I added a drawing board to the bottom of this blog site. Just scroll down and start drawing!

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

G.C's Guide to Dining Out

"Always, when the food arrives, send something back. It's considered very sophisticated. But make sure you use colorful language. Tell him, 'Waiter, this veal tastes like the inside front panel of Ferdinand Magellan's shorts. And I'm referring to the first voyage.' "

Stupid News Story of The Day

(The Naked Tickler...any relation to the French Tickler?)

Florida Police Search for Naked Tickler Fri

NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. - Police are on the lookout for the naked tickler. Investigators said they believe one man could be responsible for a series of bizarre break-ins in which a naked man enters victims' rooms while they are sleeping and tries to tickle their feet.

The naked tickler struck again in New Smyrna Beach over the weekend.

Investigators have been working on five similar, unsolved cases since 2001. Most of the victims are women over age 60, said police Cmdr. Wade Kirby.

Kirby said no arrests have yet been made because they don't have a lot to go on.

New Smyrna Beach is 44 miles northeast of Orlando.

from Odd News

The ant saga continues

'Twas just before 6, and all through my bathroom, Not a creature was stirring, not even an ant....Cuz they were all dead...Raid made sure of that.

Nuff said.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Have you ever noticed the escalator handrail and the thing you're standing on don't move at the same speed?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Let's make sure that cherry's intact, shall we?)

A good reason to be a virgin...

KAMPALA (Reuters) - A Ugandan member of parliament has pledged to reward girls for their chastity by paying their university fees if they are virgins when they leave school, a local newspaper said Wednesday.

Bbaale County MP Sulaiman Madada said any girl in his district who wanted to take part in the scheme aimed at promoting girls' education would be given a gynecological examination by health workers to check they were virgins.

"The criterion is that a student must be a virgin and from Kayunga district," he told the state-owned New Vision.

The MP did not extend his offer to young men.

He urged pupils to manage their lives responsibly, and called on parents to explain the threats from HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.

"Our children should be told the risks they face if involved in early and unprotected sex," Madada said.

Uganda was once seen as the epicenter of the global HIV epidemic, but a government education campaign has pushed down infection rates to around six percent from as high as 30 percent in some areas in the early 1990s.

Kayunga in central Uganda is home about 300,000 people, and researchers say it has one of the country's worst AIDS rates, with more than 80 percent of families losing at least one member to the disease.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"When I think of the rain dance the American Indians used to do, I often wonder if they had to practice first. Wouldn't you have rain-dance practice just to go over things again? My question is, if they did hold the practice and the rain didn't come immediately, how would they know they had done it right?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Next time, button up your jacket.)

Police send nude shopper home with warning

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police let a nearly naked shopper go home after she told them she was getting groceries in the nude because she lost a spin the bottle contest, a police spokesman in Cologne said Wednesday.

"We're a tolerant city that is open to the world," said spokesman Burkard Jahn. "She could have been arrested for disturbing the peace, but we decided to let her go home with a verbal warning to dress appropriately next time."

The 35-year-old Cologne woman entered the 24-hour shop at 4 a.m. wearing nothing but an unbuttoned jeans jacket, Jahn said. He said police decided to let her go because few people and presumably no small children saw her at that time of day

It's Super Chicken!

Does anyone remember Super Chicken? I used to LOVE that cartoon when I was a kid.
There was this one episode where Fred and Super Chicken have to fight off a giant toupee. Sadly, that is the only episode I distinctly remember.

Click below to hear the Super Chicken theme song... bawwwwwwwk it's Super Chicken!!

Click me!(be patient - it may take a moment to load)

When you find yourself in danger,

When you're threatened by a stranger,

When it looks like you will take a lickin',

(puk, puk, puk, puk)

There is someone waiting,

Who will hurry up and rescue you,

just Call for Super Chicken!

(puk, ack!)

Fred, if you're afraid you'll have to overlook it,

Besides you knew the job was dangerous when you took it

(puk, ack!)

He will drink his super sauce

And throw the bad guys for a loss

And he will bring them in alive and kickin'

(puk, puk, puk, puk)

There is one thing you should learn

When there is no one else to turn to

Call for Super Chicken!

(puk, puk, puk, puk)

Call for Super Chicken!

(puk, ack!)

Some Phrases I Don't Understand

The proof is in the pudding.
Huh??

...beat you like a red-headed stepchild.
What does everyone have against red-heads and stepchildren?

I don't give a rat's ass.
I guess a rat's ass is not that important. But to the rat it is!

Those are selling like hotcakes!
Do hotcakes really sell that fast? Or is it only at IHOP?

He's as white as a sheet!
Well, nowadays sheets come in all sorts of colors. Just go to Wal Mart and see for yourself.

Looks like your goose has been cooked.
I don't even have any geese.

Love thy neighbor as you love yourself.
That's some good advice...unless you are suicidal or clinically depressed.

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
More like, that which doesn't kill you, will put you in the hospital.

Knock on wood.
Does knocking on wood have some sort of special power that I am unaware of?

...by the skin of my teeth.
Do teeth even have skin??? Yuck!

Keeping up with the Joneses.
Who are these Jones people and why do we need to keep up with them?

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Hands off my gnome!)

Mystery of Missing Garden Gnomes Puzzling

GREELEY, Colo. - The mystery of the missing garden gnomes may prove harder to solve after all.

Police found about 80 of the pint-sized figurines stashed in black plastic bags and surrounded by youngsters on Saturday, but investigators don't think the children stole them.

In fact, Sgt. Dave Adams said the children most likely found them, so it's back to square one.

Adams said police will call people who reported their gnomes stolen to come identify the decorative yard items.

Elsie Schnorr, who had 30 gnomes stolen from her front lawn more than a month ago, will be among the first to retrieve her property.

"I could identify every one of them. My name isn't on them, but I know which ones are mine. Most of mine are one-of-kind," she said.

Don't get mad...haiku!

It is fun to write haikus about things that annoy you or piss you off...

My neighbors are loud.
They blast their music all night.
I want them to die!


Cramps, mood swings, bloating,
For days and days it goes on.
Periods suck ass.


Car on my bumper,
So close I can almost feel.
I hate tailgaters.



Big crowds of people,
Shopping and staring me down.
The mall is like hell.

Squeakers thinks she has a new house
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trying my slipper on for size
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Squeakers likes my slipper
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Squeakers (a.k.a "Punk Butt")
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It is HOT!

Beware... time for some bitching...

It is HOT. Damn hot! I think if you went outside right now, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. Yes, it is that hot. It is 105 degrees outside right now. I know...I know...I am sitting here at work right now, so it shouldn't even matter since it is air-conditioned in here. Well, guess what! The air conditioning is BROKEN upstairs, so it is a sweltering mess up there. Thank gosh I work downstairs! But it is still pretty warm down here too. I think all that hot air is traveling down here. Hmmmmm.......... it could be worse. I could be working outside. I feel so sorry for all the construction workers and people who have to work outside. Everytime I go by anyone who is outside working, I want to hand them a glass of ice cold lemonade - lol. It is supposed to stay in the triple digits until Sunday or so. It is gonna be a long week.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I've always wanted to place a personal ad no one would answer: 'Elderly, depressed, accident-prone junkie, likes Canadian food and Welsh music, seeking rich, well-built, oversexed, female deaf mute in her late teens. Must be nonsmoker.' "

Stupid News Story of The Day

("What came in the mail today?...Nothing...Just some crap.")

Man Sued Over Mailing of Feces, Garbage

ST. LOUIS — A man is being sued by Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon for allegedly sending garbage and even feces to eBay customers who thought they were bidding for new or slightly used clothing.

Nixon filed the fraud suit against Michael D. Pickens of Bethany. His wife, Tamera Pickens, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch he is disabled with a rare blood disease, is unemployed and has never sold anything over the Internet.

The suit claims Internet ads promised top-quality clothes, including ads from Victoria Secret, Banana Republic and other well-known brands. When customers placed their orders through the online auction site eBay, the suit says, Pickens arranged for the shipment to come from companies that sell industrial rags, unwanted clothing or household items meant for poor countries. In one case, a customer received feces.

Nixon said Pickens either ignored or refused requests for refunds.

The lawsuit, filed in Harrison County Circuit Court, seeks a permanent injunction and fines of $1,000 per violation.

Squeakers is being camera-shy
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me as a baby - check out my pose - so freakin funny! I look like I am posing for some porn magazine - LMAO! I found this picture in one of my folks' old photo albums and thought it was so funny that I had to share it :D
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

G.C's Guide To Dining Out

"Issue: special instructions. Ask for French toast, medium rare. Get a pizza with no toppings, hold the crust. Tell 'em you want eggs: 'Fry the whites and poach the yolks.' Order a basket of poppy seed rolls and tell them to scrape off the seeds and put them in a seperate bowl and heat them to 200 degrees. Keep the waiter busy."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Some jokes are better left undone)

Joke is on comedian after jailbreak stunt

BANGKOK (Reuters) - A Thai comedian was left laughing on the other side of his face when he was arrested for a mock jailbreak in which he and another actor dashed onto a Bangkok bus handcuffed and wearing prison uniforms.

Police arrested Santi Meesaengchan, 37, after intercepting the bus and fined him 1,000 baht ($24) for "causing panic in public places" while pretending to be a prisoner on the run in Wednesday's made-for-TV prank.

The bus, carrying a mixture of actors and ordinary passengers, was equipped with a hidden camera to capture the reaction of members of the public, newspapers reported.

The verdict from the country's leading tabloid, Thai Rath: "Not very funny."