Alicia's little girl, Alana is a year old today.
(isn't she cute?!)
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Saturday, June 03, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
I read that....
that Anna Nicole Smith is preggers, which is good news for Britney Spears. If anyone is gonna screw up worse than Brit, it's Anna Nicole. I can just read the headlines now..... "Anna Nicole feeds baby Trim Spa. Feels baby is too chubby."
Poor baby.
Poor baby.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(You can look, but you can't film.)
Deputy fired for filming girls in bikinis
STUART, Fla. - A Martin County sheriff's review board found just cause in the firing of a former deputy who was relieved of duty for using his patrol car's dashboard-mounted camera to film bikini-clad girls at the beach.
Jack Munsey was fired Jan. 30 after an internal investigation found his behavior was not criminal but violated department policies. Munsey had sought reinstatement.
The panel took just four minutes Wednesday to determine his firing was justified.
The daylong hearing included testimony about two previous investigations involving Munsey, including one in 1997 when he used a department computer to view pornography on the Internet while on duty. He was suspended for a week. In 2004, he was suspended after he totaled a patrol car while speeding on his way to work.
Munsey's attorney Larry Fagan called the videotaping a brief lapse in judgment that should not warrant termination.
"This is something that will follow him forever," Fagan told the panel.
Munsey declined to comment after the hearing.
Sheriff Robert Crowder said Munsey likely will not lose his law enforcement certification that could get him a job elsewhere.
"He's not a bad guy, but I think his judgment perhaps was flawed and maybe he's learned from this, and maybe he'd be able to work somewhere where this wouldn't be held over his head," Crowder said.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I still wanna be a Ghost Hunter
Last night, the season finale of Ghost Hunters was on, and I was stoked because they were visiting the infamous Stanley Hotel, the setting of Stephen King's The Shining. Story is, Stephen King and his wife had stayed in the hotel and had had some paranormal encounters of their own there, inspiring Stephen King to write The Shining. The show was great. It was 90 minutes of paranormal bliss for me. It showed one of the TAPS dudes sleeping in his room and the closet door came open and something caused a glass on the nightstand next to him to inexplicably break. The video also showed the closet door closing and latching by itself. The guy, Jason, went over to the closet to inspect it, and there was nothing there. Nothing to explain how the glass broke or what made the closet door open and close by itself. Weirdness!!!
Also during the visit, the guys were sitting at a table in a room and all of a sudden, the table and one of the chairs just moved all by themselves. This scared one of the cameramen, who, up to that point, has been very skeptical of any paranormal stuff. The look on his face was priceless - lol. I so wanna go stay at the Stanley Hotel now!!! I want to see some closet doors open and some tables move! I know. I am nuts.
That show is just too cool. I wanna be a Ghost Hunter!
Also during the visit, the guys were sitting at a table in a room and all of a sudden, the table and one of the chairs just moved all by themselves. This scared one of the cameramen, who, up to that point, has been very skeptical of any paranormal stuff. The look on his face was priceless - lol. I so wanna go stay at the Stanley Hotel now!!! I want to see some closet doors open and some tables move! I know. I am nuts.
That show is just too cool. I wanna be a Ghost Hunter!
Caption This!
Sorry Ryan. I just don't think of you THAT way.
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"This year our Dream Vacation itinerary will be limited to domestic destinations that you can travel to by car, assuming that you rob banks along the way, because gasoline prices this summer are expected to reach $3 per gallon ($67.50 in California). The US Transportation Department is advising motorists to conserve fuel by 'traveling mainly downhill."
Random Fact of The Day
The Elephant Man's name was actually Joseph Merrick, not John Merrick as he was called in the movie The Elephant Man.
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Now available in stores...Robbing for Dummies.)
Would-be robber asks bank how to do it
TOKYO (Reuters) - A would-be Japanese bank robber asked staff how he should carry out the crime before meekly obeying a request to leave and then accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife he was carrying.
The 58-year-old unemployed man went into a branch of the Saitama Resona Bank in the town of Kumagaya, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, intending to rob it, a police spokesman said.
According to local media reports the man first asked a bank teller, "Any idea how you rob a bank?" The teller alerted another member of staff, who asked the man to leave.
"He left quietly when asked to," the police spokesman said.
However, the staff member escorting the man out of the bank noticed the knife sticking out of his pocket and a bloodstain on his trousers.
Police arrested the man for illegal possession of a weapon.
"He didn't brandish the knife at anyone ... but he injured himself in the leg," the police spokesman said.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Women's Dictionary
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus... breath... push"
Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus... breath... push"
Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
Cynical...me?
| You Are 44% Cynical |
|
I am sooo mad, because...
a rock hit my windshield when I was on my way to work this morning, and when I went to lunch, I saw that I now have a long-ass crack in my windshield (no, not a long ass-crack........a long-ass crack - there is a difference). I am probably gonna have to get the whole damned whindshield replaced now - GRRRRRRR!
It's a very, very mad world.
I feel mucho better today than I did yesterday. I was just BLAH yesterday (with a capital "B"). My voice is still a tad hoarse, but overall, much better. Thank gosh. I didn't wanna have to go through the week feeling like that. Plus, I have a baby birthday party to go to this Saturday. Alicia's little girl, Alana, is turning 1 on June 6th. She is so cute. And so talkative...just like Alicia - lol.
Speaking of babies, I read that Mira Sorvino had another baby...a boy, which she named.....sit down.....JOHNNY. What the hell? Johnny??? What kind of name is that? Don't they know little Johnny will get teased and teased for having such a silly name? In a world of Apple's, Shiloh's, Suri's, Wolfgang's, and Moxie Crimefighter's, the name Johnny seems so .... gasp....NORMAL. Actually, I give big time kudos to Mira for naming her baby something that won't scar him for life. One can only hope that other stars will follow suit and go back to giving their kids nice, normal names. Well, one can wish, can't they?
Speaking of babies, I read that Mira Sorvino had another baby...a boy, which she named.....sit down.....JOHNNY. What the hell? Johnny??? What kind of name is that? Don't they know little Johnny will get teased and teased for having such a silly name? In a world of Apple's, Shiloh's, Suri's, Wolfgang's, and Moxie Crimefighter's, the name Johnny seems so .... gasp....NORMAL. Actually, I give big time kudos to Mira for naming her baby something that won't scar him for life. One can only hope that other stars will follow suit and go back to giving their kids nice, normal names. Well, one can wish, can't they?
Random Fact of The Day
The turtle's upper shell is called a carapace, while the lower part of the shell is called a plastron. These 2 parts are joined together by bony structures called bridges. Because the inner layer of the shell is connected to the turtle's body, it cannot, as seen in cartoons, crawl out of its shell.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"You'll begin by driving to Indiana, a state located near Ohio or Wisconsin (ask at a gas station for specific directions). On the way, you can entertain the kids by pointing out the many fascinating attractions of the American Heartland. ('Look kids, another cow!)"
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Maybe he should try to prove his sanity next.)
Man severs penis to prove faithfulness
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A man who apparently severed his penis in an attempt to convince his wife that he was faithful to her was recovering after surgery to reattach the organ at a northern Malaysian hospital, a news report said Tuesday.
The 41-year-old man, who was not identified, got into an argument last Friday with his wife, who found a text message on his mobile phone from another woman. The man was heard by his son shouting that he wanted to prove he was not having an affair, the New Straits Times reported.
The assertion was followed by loud screams and the man emerged from his room bleeding profusely, his 14-year-old son quoted as saying. His wife rushed him to hospital.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Ouch
It feels like a Monday today, but it is Tuesday. This week is gonna be nice and short cuz this Friday, we are off (flex day), which means this week is a 3-day work week. Hell yeah! I am so happy about that.
I am not happy about my sore throat though. I started getting a sore throat on Sunday and it has just gotten worse. I can't even talk without it hurting, so I have been trying to keep quiet and not talk (which is something people everywhere are probably glad to hear - hehe). Been sucking on Halls and ice cubes this morning. Ugh. I hate sore throats. Hate em!
My work computer has been s l o w this morning, which has been testing my patience, and I had very little patience to begin with. I had to restart it twice already. And my work phone is messed up too. The little red light which means I have a message is on and I have no messages. It is driving me nuts!!!!!!!
I can't wait for this day to be over.
I am not happy about my sore throat though. I started getting a sore throat on Sunday and it has just gotten worse. I can't even talk without it hurting, so I have been trying to keep quiet and not talk (which is something people everywhere are probably glad to hear - hehe). Been sucking on Halls and ice cubes this morning. Ugh. I hate sore throats. Hate em!
My work computer has been s l o w this morning, which has been testing my patience, and I had very little patience to begin with. I had to restart it twice already. And my work phone is messed up too. The little red light which means I have a message is on and I have no messages. It is driving me nuts!!!!!!!
I can't wait for this day to be over.
Random Fact of The Day
Alessandro Volta developed the Voltaic pile, a forerunner of the battery, which produced a steady electric current. The electrical term, "volt," was named after him.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Recently I was in an electronics store, trying to buy a telephone that was just a telephone. I did not want the conference-call feature, the intercom feature, the programmable memory feature, the coffee-making feature, or the feature (this is a new one) that displays the current latitude and longitude of Representative Gary Condit. All I wanted was the feature that lets you talk to the person on the other end."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I like cheese too, but man!)
25 people suffer bumps and bruises in British cheese chase
BROCKWORTH, England (AFP) - Twenty-five people were injured in an annual cheese-rolling competition, where daredevils chase giant cheeses down a steep slope in western England, organisers said.
Dozens took part in the bizarre event at Cooper's Hill in Brockworth, Gloucestershire, before a crowd of some 3,000 laughing and cheering spectators. They raced for 200 metres (656 feet) down the slope after the wheel-shaped Double Gloucester cheese, decorated in a blue and red ribbon.
Many slipped, somersaulted and tumbled their way to the bottom during five bone-crunching races over two hours. Of the 25 people hurt, 12 were spectators, one of whom was hit by one of the hard, dinner-plate-sized cheeses used in each race.
Only two people were taken to hospital for further assessment, however. The organisers said the number of injuries was comparatively low.
"We usually average around 30-40 people who need treatment," said Jim Jones, operations training manager for St John's Ambulance.
"The most serious injuries this year appear to be a dislocated finger and a possible fractured ankle," he told Britain's domestic Press Association.
The wet weather helped protect the racers, as they were able to slide down the slope rather than tumble head-over-heels, said organiser Richard Jefferies.
"It's been a very successful year," he added.
Among the winners of the five races was Chris Anderson, 18, who knocked himself out to claim the title. Afterwards, the dazed window fitter said: "I just ran, fell and hit my head. I feel sore but it was definitely worth it."
First prize in each race is a big circle of cheese.
People from as far afield as Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden and the United States travel to the hill every year to take part in the cheese roll.
The unusual event has been celebrated for centuries and is thought to have its roots in a heathen festival to celebrate the return of spring.
Monday, May 29, 2006
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