Well, after the whole mail incident the other day, I went out to my mailbox and the mail I had put on hold had been delivered to my box. It was a relief, but I KNOW I had put on the card that I would pick it up in person at the post office.
And, no, there was no postcard from the doctor's office in there telling me that they had moved their office to Stockdale Highway. Grrrr. Well, at least now I know.
Speaking of the doctor, when I went to him on Tuesday, he told me that I could just call the office to get the referral I needed. Shit, if I would have known that in advance, I would have been able to save myself the trouble of driving across town and spending $15 to see him in person. More grrrrr.
I had 2 doctor's appointments yesterday. One for my rheumatologist and the other for the gyno. They had to do a complete blood panel so they took like 5 or 6 vials of blood (I don't know for sure...I never look at the blood when it is coming out of me - gross) and made me pee in a cup. It was so fun! This time, my arm only got a little bruised from the needle. I think they are getting better at taking blood (hehe). The doctor also prescribed me some stuff to help me sleep, since I never get a full night's sleep. Guess that is why I am so cranky all of the time - hehe.
I am so glad I only have to go to the gyno once a year now. I was having to go every 6 months cuz of the abnormal paps, but now that I am "normal" again (yeah, yeah...go ahead and laugh about that - I know you want to), I only have to make the yearly visit. Which is good, cuz frankly I am not so thrilled about having that cold, metal thing shoved in my vagina. Why can't they make those things more comfortable?!?!? Now, if they made them so that they were all nice and warm and added a little vibration to them, I think he would double his business I dunno, but to me, there is nothing more uncomfortable that going to the gyno. The whole metal speculum thing in the vagina, and the pelvic exam and then the pushing around on my boobs.....ugh. It is kind of like a really bad date. Except you have to pay for it.
I was so tired after work that I fell asleep while watching tv and didn't wake up til like 10:30. ZZZZZ. I really hope those pills help me sleep better, cuz I have been such a zombie lately.
Is it nap time yet?
Thursday, July 27, 2006
The Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is...being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is...being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!
10 Good Things About Living in Bakersfield
1. The fog in the winter gives you a chance to use your imagination. You have to imagine that you can see the road. You have to imagine that you can see the cars in front of you. And you can imagine that you are living somewhere else.
2. In the summer, you can leave your dinner in the car in the morning and it will cook itself while you work. So, by the time you get off work, your dinner is done.
3. The brown, smoggy sky is a nice change from that boring blue.
4. Who needs the smell of flowers when you have that fresh, dairy, cow-poopey smell?
5. Concrete is so much prettier than trees.
6. The hot summers make you appreciate the cool days of fall and spring even more.
7. You don't need to use your dryer in the summer. Just hang your wet clothes outside for a few minutes and wah-la: dry clothes!
8. You can use the "unhealthy" air conditions as an excuse for not going outdoors to exercise.
9. Surviving a heat wave is no problem. We are used to it.
10. The home prices are cheap compared to the rest of California, because we practically have to pay people to live here.
2. In the summer, you can leave your dinner in the car in the morning and it will cook itself while you work. So, by the time you get off work, your dinner is done.
3. The brown, smoggy sky is a nice change from that boring blue.
4. Who needs the smell of flowers when you have that fresh, dairy, cow-poopey smell?
5. Concrete is so much prettier than trees.
6. The hot summers make you appreciate the cool days of fall and spring even more.
7. You don't need to use your dryer in the summer. Just hang your wet clothes outside for a few minutes and wah-la: dry clothes!
8. You can use the "unhealthy" air conditions as an excuse for not going outdoors to exercise.
9. Surviving a heat wave is no problem. We are used to it.
10. The home prices are cheap compared to the rest of California, because we practically have to pay people to live here.
Random Fact of The Day
In America in 1977, the punishment for smuggling marijiuana was 15 years less than the punishment for smuggling coffee.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"When I got into journalism, I expected to do many things, but none of them involved standing on a colleague's groin. Recently, however, I learned that I might be called upon to do exactly that. I learned this in Fright School, which is formerly known as Hostile Environment Training. This is a course, taught by corporate security consultants, that teaches you what to do if you find yourself in a situation involving dangerous elements such as terrorists, kidnappers, robbers, rioters, or fans of the Oakland Raiders."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I love chewing gum.)
Marijuana gumballs found at Md. school
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. - Federal drug agents aren't laughing about marijuana packaged in yellow, smiley-faced gumballs.
The "Greenades" gumballs were found in January at Howard High School in Ellicott City. The federal Drug Enforcement Agency recently released an intelligence bulletin about them.
"It's a new idea and it's new to the DEA," Gregory Lee, a retired supervisory special agent of the Drug Enforcement Agency, told The Baltimore Examiner. "When it comes to drug dealing, you're only limited by your imagination."
Police charged three 17-year-old students after a teacher alerted a school resource officer. She told the officer that she saw a student give a plastic bag that the teacher believed contained drugs to another student.
The officer seized the bag, which contained two "candy balls" wrapped in foil, police said. Instructions on the foil told users to chew for 30 minutes to 1 hour before they wanted to be high and to "chew for as long as possible, then swallow."
Officers charged two students with distribution of drugs on school property and a third with possession of marijuana.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
A Love Letter to Shaquille O'Neal
"Dear Shaq:
Welcome to the Heat! You're going to love South Florida. The fans down here are terrific! We're with you, win or lose. OK, I'm lying. We're only with you if you win. Oh, we'll cut you some slack for a while, but after that you will pretty much have to provide us with an NBA championship. Because we REALLY like winners down here, Shaq. When the Panthers were winning, we even loved ice hockey, for a period of several hours. And we loved Don Shula. He was a winner, and the people of South Florida worshipped him as a god. I do not mean that figuratively, Shaq: Goats were sacrificed."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time...
Man survives run-in with falling dog in Poland
WARSAW (Reuters) - A man was bruised but alive on Wednesday after a Saint Bernard dog thrown out a two-story window landed on him as he was walking down the street in the southern-Polish city of Sosnowiec.
The 50-kg (110-pound) dog was pushed out of the window by its drunken owner on Monday, police said.
"The dog had a soft landing because it fell on a man," said police spokesman Grzegorz Wierzbicki. "The dog escaped with just a few scratches."
"The man was also more in a psychological state of shock than physically hurt," Wierzbicki added.
The one-year-old dog, named Oskar, was placed in an animal shelter while police investigate its owners for animal abuse.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
The Constitution Conundrum
Chapter Seven
"...and so you see," concluded the president, "you two uncovered a shocking and fascinating secret that, if it should ever get out, could change the course of history."
"Mr. President," said Desiree, "thank you for that riveting and satisfying explanation, which will be fleshed out into much greater detail once there is a publishing contract."
"Also," noted Hugh, "we may use some beverage other than Snapple, depending on what kind of product-placement deals can be worked out."
"Good," said the president. "Now can I have the Constitution back?"
They all enjoyed a hearty laugh, for they knew that the movie rights were also available.
(end of book)
Stupid News Story of The Day
(When they make one that can drive and cook and clean, count me in.)
Are you a woman going solo? Try a blow-up man
LONDON (Reuters) - He fits in a car's glove box, appears at a flick of a switch and when a woman has finished using him, she can just pull the plug and he deflates.
He's the "Buddy on Demand," a blow-up man launched on Tuesday with the aim of making solo female motorists feel less nervous about driving at night.
According to research by the inflatable friend's creator, insurer Sheilas' Wheels, 82 percent of women feel safer with someone sitting in the car beside them and nearly a half don't like driving alone in the dark.
"We're not saying that an inflatable man is the only answer but we do hope it will give women extra confidence and make journeys in the dark less fearful," said Jacky Brown, the spokeswoman for Sheilas' Wheels.
Oh the weather outside is frightful...
Well, I am back to work after being off for 2 weeks. Can I get a "whoop whoop"? Just kidding. While I am not thrilled at the prospect of having to get up early every morning just to come here and spend 10 hours at work, I am also glad there is air conditioning here, since it is freakin' hot outside! It is not even 10 am yet and it is already 95 degrees outside. I went to bed last night around midnight and it was still 93 degrees outside. It is supposed to be 109 today with a low of 82. I would like to know just exactly when this "low" occurs. 3 a.m.? 4 a.m.? Why is it only cooler when I am alseep? That is just plain wrong! You know it is even more wrong when the news that it will "cool off" to the mid 90's is considered good news. It is supposed to be a "chilly" 92 on Sunday, then it will slowly go back up to the 100's again. Damned summer weather. Summers can kiss my sunburned, sweaty ass.
I took yesterday off as a vacation day to recuperate from the traveling and also because I had a doctor's appointment and had to go to the post office to pick up my mail. But, yesterday, it turns out, just wasn't my day. First, I go to the doctor's office, only to find that they had moved. I called them and the receptionist said they had mailed out postcards to let everyone know they moved. Well, since I was out of town for 2 weeks, I had no clue. So I had to reschedule my appointment to this afternoon, which means I have to drag my ass into my hotter than hot car in the afternoon to drive all the way across town for a 15 minute appointment. It will take me longer to drive there than it will take for the doctor to hand me my referral to the opthomologist (since that is the only reason I have to go to him anyway).
The mail......oh the mail. They never get anything right. I went to the post office yesterday to pick up my mail, since I had placed a vacation hold on it and stated that I would pick it up on July 24th. Well, I got there and they told me there was no mail back there for me. There was also no mail in my mailbox. So where my mail went is a mystery. It will probably all show up at once. Who knows. All I know is that this is the 2nd time the vacation hold thing got screwed up on my mail.
After the whole doctor's office and post office fiascos, I decided it was time for lunch. I went to El Pollo Loco to get a Pollo Bowl and some churros. So I went thru the drive-thru and got my food and when I got home I discovered that my churros were AWOL. Oh well. It just wasn't my day I guess.
I finally got around to posting my travel narrative on my blog. Click HERE to read all about it and to see pictures. It is long. You have been warned.
I took yesterday off as a vacation day to recuperate from the traveling and also because I had a doctor's appointment and had to go to the post office to pick up my mail. But, yesterday, it turns out, just wasn't my day. First, I go to the doctor's office, only to find that they had moved. I called them and the receptionist said they had mailed out postcards to let everyone know they moved. Well, since I was out of town for 2 weeks, I had no clue. So I had to reschedule my appointment to this afternoon, which means I have to drag my ass into my hotter than hot car in the afternoon to drive all the way across town for a 15 minute appointment. It will take me longer to drive there than it will take for the doctor to hand me my referral to the opthomologist (since that is the only reason I have to go to him anyway).
The mail......oh the mail. They never get anything right. I went to the post office yesterday to pick up my mail, since I had placed a vacation hold on it and stated that I would pick it up on July 24th. Well, I got there and they told me there was no mail back there for me. There was also no mail in my mailbox. So where my mail went is a mystery. It will probably all show up at once. Who knows. All I know is that this is the 2nd time the vacation hold thing got screwed up on my mail.
After the whole doctor's office and post office fiascos, I decided it was time for lunch. I went to El Pollo Loco to get a Pollo Bowl and some churros. So I went thru the drive-thru and got my food and when I got home I discovered that my churros were AWOL. Oh well. It just wasn't my day I guess.
I finally got around to posting my travel narrative on my blog. Click HERE to read all about it and to see pictures. It is long. You have been warned.
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