Another Poem - a long one

Candlelight Memories

The script is closed for now, the story over,

The pages turn through my mind.

I remember them, I remember them all,

Every word etched in the page of my memory.

An empty vase on the kitchen table,

Dried flowers in the waste can.

Stale perfume that lingers in the air, I breathe it in,

An old memory that recalls to life a time

When that scent meant something much more

Than it means to me now.

Once, long ago it seems,

It meant roses and wine,

Nights by firelight reading old poetry,

And listening to nocturnes and concertos,

Soft speeches whispered to a tune,

Long walks along beaches in the moonlight

Alongside a high tide.

Memories of you and me playing chess by candlelight,

Under the cover of a star-filled night,

Memories soft and saddening.

But what once was sweet, now has turned stale,

And I now recall memories, too,

Of well-wrought arias,

Practiced allegrettos, played appasionata,

Rehearsed melodies, carefully timed tempo,

Songs that faded quickly, sharp notes falling flat.

And all the late night worries,

Called-in cancellations and artful alibis.

Well-rehearsed lines recited to a naive audience,

Dinners for one and the smell of new perfume on shirt collars,

Love drifted elsewhere.

Duet became solo.

The scene has played itself out, the cast has departed,

Yet the play goes on; it is in its final act.

I can hear the fading strains of Chopin in the night,

A sound beautiful, but bittersweet.

The piano seems to speak to me,

Telling me of a story that happened long ago.

It is my story.

Oh that sound means so much to me!

The melody fading, dimuendo, dying like my flowers,

Each note a faded petal falling slowly down to the floor,

Then disappearing without a trace,

Leaving only its fast-fading memory.

Oh, if that were only the case!

For love is not so fast-fading, it lingers on,

Like the fog along the street,

Or the smell of smoke in a small, dark room.

Or like the last note of a long melody.

A memory that lives long, that hurts long,

The makes long suffering.

The moon is still, her light wanes a little I see.

Has she lost her love? Is she as lonely as me?

So I sit here alone amid the soft light of a burning candle,

Pools of cooling wax at my feet,

Drops of it on the chessboard on my table.

The candle burns without a purpose but to burn itself out.

So does passion, that kills itself by what it feeds on,

Consuming so much til there's nothing left, and it dies.

The flame extinguished by the flame.

Love killed by love.

And so the play goes on, I the solitary player,

Alone, save for the dried flowers and melted wax,

Lingering melodies and symphonies,

Performed improvisational, scriptless and pointless,

And the memories of it all,

Yes they will be there always I suppose,

Like stale perfume on sofa covers,

Or old smoke in window shades,

Like the pools of candle wax on the table,

Or the smell of dried flowers in dark rooms,

Echoes of Chopin down dim side streets,

Or the strains of old poetry in coffee bars.

The flame from the candle barely burning,

Almost to its end.

Soon it will die and fade away,

Taking away my memories.

The play draws to a close.

The curtains are drawn and the darkness creeps in.

I will light a new candle.

Let the next play begin!

~ 10/2004

Endangered Species

There are several hundreds of species on the endangered species list. It is important to preserve and protect these species. But often overlooked are the equally rare and endangered species of jewelry. You often can only find them in malls where they are cruelly held captive in glass cages and watched over by security guards. One such piece of rare jewelry is the engagement ring. It is so rare, in fact, that the few women who possess this rarity keep it on their fingers at all times and constantly show it off to their less fortunate friends who do not own one. This showing off is usually done with much excitement, yet is almost mockingly done. A sort of "in your face" to those of us who have not been able to capture one. Unfortunately, the woman cannot capture one of these, for it is up to the man to do this (unless you are Britney Spears, which in case, you go and capture it yourself, but this is highly unusual, and can only be done by celebrities). Perhaps the rarest of all of the jewelry pieces is the wedding band. Also found in malls kept under glass cages surrounded by bright lights, these rare pieces are elusive and hard to come by. Usually once the engagement ring has been caught, the wedding band is next to be caught, but this can sometimes take years and sometimes the engagement ring is lost before the acquisition of the wedding band can take place. Often times this losing of the ring is done by hurling it in the face of the man who caught it for you in the first place (unless you are Britney Spears, in which case she would have to throw it in her own face). Yet often, despite this hurling, the engagement ring is often picked up again by the woman who did such hurling, only to be end up once again, locked behind a glass cage in a mall or downtown in a pawn shop. Such a sad life these beautiful specimens lead. I think men should take the initiative and set these species free! I am sure they would be ever so happy to escape from the lights and guards and to be able to live forever happily on a nice warm finger.

Turkey Day approaches....

It is Wednesday, November 24th, which is the day before Turkey Day. I bet most people out there are in a panic because they don't have enough cranberry sauce, or they need more bread for stuffing, etc. And who wants to stand in those ridiculously long lines in the supermarket?? Not me. That is exactly why my family is saying screw the supermarket and hot ovens, and taking ourselves out to eat! Think about it.... it only takes about an hour or so to get yourself in the car, drive to the restaurant, get seated, order, eat and pay. While making the danged dinner yourself can take hours....even days of planning and cooking alone. I am sure if I had a family of my own that I would like to cook the whole dinner myself, but I am sure after one of those experiences I would be ready to hit the road and go out to eat! Anyway, hope everyone has a nice Turkey Day.... take it easy and don't get too stuffed.... he he

Funny Quotes :)

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.."~ Diana Jordan.

"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities." ~Matt Groening.

"It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who." ~Joan Rivers.

"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven." ~Joan Rivers.

"I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." ~ Steven Wright

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." ~George Carlin.

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"~Paul Merton.

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." ~Dave Edison.

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." ~Steven Wright.

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened. " ~ Douglas Adams

"I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks -- I'm not going that far." ~Steven Wright

"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents. " ~ Unknown


"The whole world is our dining room, but be careful: it is also our garbage can." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

The Connah Store in Boston's North End
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purty Boston Harbor
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"Love" is a 4-letter word

Being an adult can be frightening. It seems like we, as people, spend the first couple of decades trying to be older. We try to dress older, talk more grown-up, and wear high heels and ties, all to attain that one goal of looking older. As if somehow when someone told you that you look older, it was a compliment. I know, as a woman in her early 30's, that being told you look older is NOT a compliment. In fact, in some places, that might get you slapped across the face. Then, when we hit, oh around 25 or so, we turn it around and try to look younger. We buy face creams, dye our grey hairs away, get hair plugs for those receding hairlines...some even go as far as to get plastic surgery. It seems ironic that all that time and effort spent when we were younger on trying to look older is forgotten about when the wrinkles and grey hairs start appearing.

Everything it seems is easier when you are a kid. At least that is what we think as adults. I mean, when we were kids, all we had to do to let someone know we liked them, was to pull their hair, or hit them, or tease them. I am sure....no, positive, that , as an adult, if you were to do that to a person, you would get beaten up, or, more likely, sued for sexual harassment. The whole L-O-V-E issue was non-existant. Love was something you held for parents and grandparents (not for siblings....when you are a kid, it is almost mandatory that you HATE your siblings). For some reason, when you grow up, "love" becomes more of a 4-letter word...something you want to say, but are afraid that someone will hear you say it. When you are a kid, you love everyone. You love your mom...you love your dad...you love your puppy...you love your teacher. "Love" is a word without consequences when you are a kid. When you grow up, "love" becomes something else. It becomes something serious and mysterious, and bordering on insanity at times. Because, as an adult, you can't just poke someone in the arm and expect he or she to know that that means you like him/her. You actually have to get up the nerve to TELL and SHOW that person how you feel. And sometimes that actually requires WORK! What a concept! The thing that stops alot of people in their tracks is the fear that their feelings will be rejected, or even worse, laughed at. The fear of humiliation is now a factor, and the fear of humiliation is one of the biggest fears we as people have. Now, love has consequences, which is something you never had to deal with as a kid. You tell your grandma that you love her, and she tells you she loves you back...simple as that. But as an adult, we are faced with the very potentially humiliating task of saying "I love you" to the object of your affection, only to cringe and prepare for the worst..the dreaded "that's nice," or "thank you," or, even worse, "ditto." It seems so funny to me that something as wonderful as those 3 words can cause so much angst, fear and stress. It simply baffles me how 4 letters of the alphabet put together in a row can crate so much havoc. Of course, there is always the happy possibility that the feelings will be returned, and all will live happily ever after. Would be nice if it really happened that way, wouldn't it? But real life is not like that at all. Real life is having a boyfriend of a long time, who can't say the dreaded "L" word, but you stick around in hopes that maybe, perhaps, maybe, he will come to his senses and realize what a fool he has been. Real life is hearing your boyfriend tell you that he doesn't love you anymore, and yet STILL you still stick around in hopes that maybe he will change his mind. Real life is looking into a mirror and realizing that you are not the fairest one of them all....not even the fairest one of a few. Real life is questioning whether something is wrong with you, and THAT is why you are no longer loved. Real life is loving a person so much that it hurts to be away from him/her. To be honest, real life sucks....really.

Yeah, being older does have its downfalls, but then again, it has a lot of ups too. It just may take longer to find them. And being a kid is fine one time around, but looking back, I don't think I could do it again. School was too brutal...too humiliating...too scary. But we got through it ok. And I think that if you can make it through something as humiliating as school, then getting through saying those 3 little words should be a piece of cake.

me as a cute little girl - he he
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There once was a man from Nantucket...

Here is a little limmerick to end the day ....


There once was a vain woman named May,
Who liked to look at herself all the day.
She bought fancy creams,
And ate all her greens,
But she got old and died anyway.


~ 11/23/04

Illusions of Grandeur

Do you remember those Illusion books....you know, the ones where there would be a big jumble of colors and shapes and you were supposed to stare at it and move back until you saw a picture that made sense? Has ANYONE actually SEEN the picture you were supposed to see? Cuz I never did.... not once. And I stared at that danged book forever and a day. I was beginning to think something was wrong with my eyes. But you know what I am beginning to think? I am beginning to think that those so-called "illusions" were just a hoax...an evil ploy to take people's money and make them think they are color blind. Half the time when my friends said they supposedly saw this picture I thought they were just saying it to make me look bad...or just saying it cuz maybe if you look at a bunch of mixed up colors and junk long enough and hard enough, you WILL start seeing things. Pretty smart on the book maker's part though. You have to hand it to them. Now about those "Where's Waldo" books...... he he

A Deep Thought for the day (By Jack Handey)

"I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet. "

I hate SPAM

Spam ... it is becoming more and more of an annoyance. It is, in fact, getting downright ridiculous. Everyday I go into my email and have like 200 SPAM emails... buy this, try that, you won this, you can look younger using that.... UGH! If half of this stuff they advertised really worked, they would not need to send you messages begging to try it! What is worse that that, is the emails for Viagra, and penis enlargement, and the porn messages - SOOO many porn messages. First of all, I am a female...I am NOT in need of Viagra, and certainly not in need of penis enlargement ! If I wanted that, I would go to the Vu and buy a dildo (which would be cheaper no doubt! lol). And secondly, if I wanted to see porn I would rent a video. At least I do have a bulk mail box where all the SPAM goes ... sadly, it is pretty much the only email I get ! lol. I wonder how these places get my email address anyway, especially since these web sites post these messages saying they won't sell your info to outside parties ... I smell a rat ! I bet by the time I am done writing this, I have at least 10 more SPAM messages in my box. Let me go check ......

Things that make you go ARGH!

I guess everyone has heard about that squabble between the Pistons and the Pacers by now....and if you haven't, then you are either in a coma or you are Amish. While I am somewhat surprised about the incident, I am not all that shocked that it happened. After all, this kind of thing happens at European sporting events all the time. But here in America, we are SUPPOSED to be civilized and not let a small thing like getting hit with a plastic cup make us rise up and lay the beat down on the person who supposedly did it. And you would think that professionals who get paid millions of dollars to play a game...yes it is a game...would act in accordance. But that is not the case. And even though it is just a game and not brain surgery, it is, in fact, a job. I know where I work if someone were to throw a cup at me and I went out and beat that person up, I would get fired... and quickly! Now, I can somewhat understand that Mr Artest would get upset about getting hit with beer, but I cannot understand why he felt the urge to jump into the stands and beat up a man, who he THOUGHT threw the afforementioned brewskie at him, only to find out that he wasn't even the person who threw it. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time....or in this case, talk about paying big bucks to be in the wrong place at the wrong time! That poor guy should get a refund. Now fans should not be pelting the players with plastic cups, and, true, the man who threw the cup should have been kicked out, but I hardly call getting hit with a plastic cup "assault. " As one player said, "If I were being threatened, I would not hesitate to take action." (or something to that effect). What happened is that Mr Artest got mad and took it too far by beating up on an innocent bystander. The fans then got involved by beating up on Artest (after all, the bystander was being threatened, wasn't he? and by more than a plastic cup!), and then madness ensued. I find it pretty hypocritical on the part of Artest and the others who defended their actions by saying they were acting in self defense (remember, this all started by a plastic cup), and then turning around and saying fans were to blame, when they were, in fact, defending themselves, too. True, some of the fans also took it too far by going out on the arena floor, and they should be punished accordingly, as should the ones who threw things at the players. But to say that the punishments for the players were too harsh? Come on! Artest went into the stands and beat up on an innocent bystander. Someone who paid good money in fact for that ticket. Other players jumped up into the stands to join Artest, and some others were beating up on people who were on the arena floor. People just can't go around beating up on people who hit them with cups. What kind of message does that send to other players? What kind of message does that send to the kids who look up to these players? I really hope that the punishments send out a message to other professional and non-professional players alike. Sportsmanship should not be limited to your opponents, but should also extend to the fans, the coaches, referees, and everyone else involoved in the game. And the next time someone gets hit by a beer cup, maybe they can let security deal with it instead of starting a riot. Just a thought ;)

A poem

A Walk At Dusk

Slow December fog crawls and creeps,
And a little boy softly weeps,
The yellow street lamp lights the way,
As I wander throught the remains of the day.

Lighted windows line the street,
Cigarette smoke hangs in the air.
Empty park benches long and sleek,
I want to shout out loud, but I do not dare,
Break though the silence that hangs in the cold air.

The moon is alone in her sky,
Sometimes I think I can hear her cry.
Thunder and silence break out all around,
But lost in my thoughts, I have drowned.

12/97