Well, here it is, 3 days before Christmas, and I am still alive. Hope you are too! But I guess if you are reading this, then you are, indeed, alive.....maybe insane by now, but alive at least! This will be my last post until after Christmas, because I am going out of town for the holidays. I am going to see my grandmother, along with my family. But if we make it back in one piece, and still on speaking terms...well that remains to be seen. The holidaze will do that to you though. They can make the nicest person turn into a meanie just like that. At this Christmas, I can assure you that your days will be full of: "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Story" ("I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!") and football and eggnog (if you like that sort of thing), Christmas carols, thick sweaters, mittens, candy canes, cookies of all shapes and sizes, pies made of pumpkins, pecans, apples, and berries, snow (or in my case, dreams of snow), and of course, family and friends and presents...don't forget the presents! Are you exhausted yet? I am exhausted just thinking about it! I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Christmas. Drive safe, if you are driving out of town, and be sure to keep some Pepto and Tylenol on hand. As I always say, eat lots of turkey but stay away from the yellow snow! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Christmas Oddities
~In Caracas, the capital city of Venezuela, it is customary for the streets to be blocked off on Christmas eve so that the people can roller-skate to church.
~An artificial spider and web are often included in the decorations on Ukrainian Christmas trees. A spider web found on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck.
~It is a British Christmas tradition that a wish made while mixing the Christmas pudding will come true only if the ingredients are stirred in a clockwise direction.
~A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.
~Sending red Christmas cards to anyone in Japan constitutes bad etiquette, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red.
~In Norway on Christmas Eve, all the brooms in the house are hidden because long ago it was believed that witches and mischievous spirits came out on Christmas Eve and would steal their brooms for riding.
Calgon take me away!!!
The thing I don't understand about the whole holiday season, is WHY are people so rude and angry during this time of year? I thought the holidays are supposed to be about happiness and joy and love....NOT about pushing and shoving and yelling and complaining and whining and crying. That is why I prefer to call the holidays the "holidaze." It is more appropriate after all. I went to the mall yesterday....aka HELL. And yes, indeed, it was hell on earth. There were so many people in there, and all of them seemed to be going in just the stores I was going to. I can understand why people get so rude though, for I felt myself getting more and more agitated with every step I took. People moving too slow....kids everywhere...the smell of cologne thick in the air...babies crying...people whining....people shoving and pushing through the lines...and then the "grabby gusses"...you know, the ones who push in front of you to grab something off of the shelf. It is enough to drive a sane person mad! I don't really how anyone can remain sane this time of year. Even to go to the supermarket to get a simple gallon of milk is not easy, because the milk is next to the whipping cream, and people need that stuff for their pumpkin pies....ARGH! I think I am changing my wish list to 1) Tylenol.... 2) Calgon.... 3) Ben Gay.... and 4) a chauffeur. Oh and maybe 5) a massage .... a nice long one. I finally got done with all of my shopping and I am feeling semi-relaxed. But even though I am all done, it doesn't mean that everyone is done. There are plenty of last-minute shoppers out there. So it doesn't mean that it is going to be any easier going to the grocery store. I think I am going to need that chauffeur ;)
Monday, December 20, 2004
Fun Tests
I love online tests....they are soooo much fun. One of my favorite test sites is http://community.sparknotes.com/sparktests.epl
They have fun tests, with really funny questions....according to the tests I have taken so far, I am 60% dateable, am 37% wench, and am 30% greedy.
According to the "untelligent test", I am ...
"78% Untelligent! You are one smooth chick! Your score is higher than the current worldwide average of 64%! Your score is unique, however, so keep reading.
Score Breakdown...
Here is the custom report of your personality than led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are a resourceful and sly woman:
" The subject shows an astounding level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.
Finally, the subject displayed a pathetic and useless (seriously bad) sense of humor, a nearly satanic lack of morality, and a hot-shot level of self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals. "
A nearly satanic lack of morality? Hmmmmm.....not sure what they mean there - lol.
Also, according to the personality test, I am...
"a Helper Who Finds Missing Children Over The Internet!(Submissive Introverted Concrete Feeler) You are a HELPER WHO FINDS MISSING CHILDREN OVER THE INTERNET (SICF). You are very tentative in the world and introverted with people— which means you are the shy and silent type (hence the Internet.) But behind your reserved exterior lies a dedicated person with a passion for the concrete truth who wants to, in his heart of hearts, help find missing children. God bless you."
- LOL! too funny!
I took the IQ test too, which was long...very long...and hard.... (ok - that sounds bad - lol)
The results have been tabulated, and your IQ is...
128
That's above average for your age and sex!
(Your IQ is calculated by comparing your raw test score against others of your age and sex. An IQ of 100 is exactly average. An IQ of 200 is twice as smart as the average person.)
Compared to other 32 year old females...
82% dumber than you — 2% as smart as you — 16% smarter than you
They have fun tests, with really funny questions....according to the tests I have taken so far, I am 60% dateable, am 37% wench, and am 30% greedy.
According to the "untelligent test", I am ...
"78% Untelligent! You are one smooth chick! Your score is higher than the current worldwide average of 64%! Your score is unique, however, so keep reading.
Score Breakdown...
Here is the custom report of your personality than led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are a resourceful and sly woman:
" The subject shows an astounding level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.
Finally, the subject displayed a pathetic and useless (seriously bad) sense of humor, a nearly satanic lack of morality, and a hot-shot level of self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals. "
A nearly satanic lack of morality? Hmmmmm.....not sure what they mean there - lol.
Also, according to the personality test, I am...
"a Helper Who Finds Missing Children Over The Internet!(Submissive Introverted Concrete Feeler) You are a HELPER WHO FINDS MISSING CHILDREN OVER THE INTERNET (SICF). You are very tentative in the world and introverted with people— which means you are the shy and silent type (hence the Internet.) But behind your reserved exterior lies a dedicated person with a passion for the concrete truth who wants to, in his heart of hearts, help find missing children. God bless you."
- LOL! too funny!
I took the IQ test too, which was long...very long...and hard.... (ok - that sounds bad - lol)
The results have been tabulated, and your IQ is...
128
That's above average for your age and sex!
(Your IQ is calculated by comparing your raw test score against others of your age and sex. An IQ of 100 is exactly average. An IQ of 200 is twice as smart as the average person.)
Compared to other 32 year old females...
82% dumber than you — 2% as smart as you — 16% smarter than you
Sunday, December 19, 2004
A Few of My Favorite Movie Quotes ....
Narrator: "I felt like destroying something beautiful." ~ Fight Club
Tyler Durden: "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." ~ Fight Club
President Merkin Muffley: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room." ~ Dr Strangelove
Colonel "Bat" Guano: "You think I go into combat with loose change in my pocket? "~ Dr Strangelove
Randal Graves: "I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?" ~ Clerks
Evil Sheila - "I may be bad. But I feel good." ~ Army of Darkness
Ash: "Then let's head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch." ~ Evil Dead 2
Sailor: "This snakeskin jacket symbolizes my individuality and belief in personal freedom."~ Wild At Heart
Shrek: "Fiona? Are you alright? "
[Stands up and looks at herself, then at Shrek]
Princess Fiona: "Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful."
Shrek: "But you are beautiful." ~ Shrek
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?" ~Full Metal Jacket
Neidermeyer:" You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!" ~ Animal House
Kurtz: "I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving. " ~ Apocalypse Now
Yossarian: "That's some catch, that Catch-22." ~ Catch -22
Nigel Tufnel: "Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump". ~ This is Spinal Tap
Inigo Montoya: "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die." ~ The Princess Bride
Westley: "This is true love - you think this happens every day? " ~ The Princess Bride
Buck Laughlin: "And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten. " ~ Best In Show
Inga: "He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker." ~Young Frankenstein
Jim: "I can't remember what my parents look like." ~ Empire of The Sun
Red: " I hope I can make it across the border... I hope to see my friend and shake his hand... I hope the pacific is a blue as it has been in my dreams... I hope... " ~ The Shawshank Redemption
McMurphy: I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this. ~ One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Melvin Udall: What if this is as good as it gets? ~ As Good As It Gets
[after being strip-searched]
Fenster: "Man, I had a finger up my asshole tonight."
Hockney: "Is it Friday already? " ~ The Usual Suspects
Walter Sobchak: "No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of. " ~ The Big Lebowski
Lev Andropov: [annoyed] "Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!" ~ Armageddon
Henry Sherman:" I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch."
Royal: "Well, I really appreciate that." ~ The Royal Tennenbaums
Tyler Durden: "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." ~ Fight Club
President Merkin Muffley: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room." ~ Dr Strangelove
Colonel "Bat" Guano: "You think I go into combat with loose change in my pocket? "~ Dr Strangelove
Randal Graves: "I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?" ~ Clerks
Evil Sheila - "I may be bad. But I feel good." ~ Army of Darkness
Ash: "Then let's head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch." ~ Evil Dead 2
Sailor: "This snakeskin jacket symbolizes my individuality and belief in personal freedom."~ Wild At Heart
Shrek: "Fiona? Are you alright? "
[Stands up and looks at herself, then at Shrek]
Princess Fiona: "Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful."
Shrek: "But you are beautiful." ~ Shrek
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?" ~Full Metal Jacket
Neidermeyer:" You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!" ~ Animal House
Kurtz: "I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving. " ~ Apocalypse Now
Yossarian: "That's some catch, that Catch-22." ~ Catch -22
Nigel Tufnel: "Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump". ~ This is Spinal Tap
Inigo Montoya: "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die." ~ The Princess Bride
Westley: "This is true love - you think this happens every day? " ~ The Princess Bride
Buck Laughlin: "And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten. " ~ Best In Show
Inga: "He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker." ~Young Frankenstein
Jim: "I can't remember what my parents look like." ~ Empire of The Sun
Red: " I hope I can make it across the border... I hope to see my friend and shake his hand... I hope the pacific is a blue as it has been in my dreams... I hope... " ~ The Shawshank Redemption
McMurphy: I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this. ~ One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Melvin Udall: What if this is as good as it gets? ~ As Good As It Gets
[after being strip-searched]
Fenster: "Man, I had a finger up my asshole tonight."
Hockney: "Is it Friday already? " ~ The Usual Suspects
Walter Sobchak: "No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of. " ~ The Big Lebowski
Lev Andropov: [annoyed] "Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!" ~ Armageddon
Ray: "If you point a gun at someone, you'd better make sure you shoot him, and if you shoot him you'd better make sure he's dead, because if he isn't then he's gonna get up and try to kill you. " ~ Blood Simple
Marge Gunderson: "Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf... Well, that passed. Now I'm hungry again." ~ Fargo
Mr White: "If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that he'll tell you if he wears ladies underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a taco. " ~ Reservoir Dogs
Royal:" I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me."Henry Sherman:" I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch."
Royal: "Well, I really appreciate that." ~ The Royal Tennenbaums
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