News and blues

Well, I am back home after being gone for almost a week. I actually came home yesterday afternoon, but didn't feel like doing anything but relaxing (cuz I am lazy like that - hehe).

It has been an emotionally draining time for my family. My grandma passed away on Saturday, February 18th. She quietly slipped into a coma that morning and passed away peacefully, in her own room, in her own home, surrounded by her family, just as she wanted.

It was so hard to hear her moaning and coughing. The night before she passed away, I woke up to hear her coughing and moaning and it just tore me up inside to hear her like that. It got to the point where I just wanted it to be over, because no one should have to suffer like that.... no one.

The hospice people were so nice to her. They even sent over a harp player, and he played some hymns for her on his harp and sang, too. Even though she was unable to talk at the time, I believe that she really liked that. I think she was even trying to sing along. Still, the music, as beautiful as it was, made us all emotional and we all had tears in our eyes by the time he stopped playing. It was especially hard to see my dad with teary eyes. Seeing him cry turned me to jello. And my grandma's neighbors, Bob and Lorene, were there, too, and were both weepy as well. Lorene was holding my grandma's hand. I know it was really hard for them, too, as they had been neighbors for decades and had seen each other on a daily basis.

I had to leave yesterday. Not because I had to go back to work or anything. I just had to get away from the house. My parents have been going through papers and stuff and wanting to know if I wanted knick knacks and stuff, and, honestly, my heart was just not into it. There is something just weird about taking things of hers. I did take a few little knick knacks...things that I had given her that meant something to me. But it still felt weird.

The funeral is on Saturday morning here in Bakersfield. She will be placed next to my grandfather, who passed away nearly 30 years ago. My grandma never remarried. She always said that he was the love of her life. I think it is a beautiful thing to have a love like that.

Anyway, I went to Big Sur over the weekend. It was helpful for me to get out and get my mind off of everything. There was nothing I could do for my grandma at that time, and I know she would have wanted me to do what I love to do. My original plan was to go camping and take pictures and show them to her when I got back. Unfortunately, those plans didn't work out. But my dad was very happy to see the pictures, for he had worked in Big Sur when he was a teenager for a few summers.

I posted pics on my other blog, which you can see by clicking HERE.

Well, I have been keeping up with American Idol (of course - hehe). I was so impressed with Ayla, Katherine, Paris, Ace, Elliot and Chris. Those are my favorites so far. I predict it will be Katherine Mc Phee and Chris Daughtry in the final 2. They are just so good. It was no surprise that Becky, Stevie, and Robbie got kicked off. I was surprised that Patrick got kicked off though. I thought that other dude, the "Crooner" was gonna get kicked off. I don't like his voice at all. (I wish Brenna would have gotten kicked off though - I still hate her - lol).

Time to relax some more.

There is never a wrong time to relax - hehe.