Stupid News Story of The Day

(Fire..........bad!)

Labour peer jailed for setting fire to curtain

LONDON (Reuters) - A Lord was sentenced to 16 months in jail on Thursday for deliberately setting fire to a curtain in a hotel after a boozy night out in Edinburgh.

Labour peer Mike Watson pleaded guilty to starting the blaze in the early hours of November 12 last year following a ceremony in the Scottish capital to celebrate the Scottish Politician of the Year awards.

During his trial, the court was shown closed circuit television footage of a figure dressed in a kilt, crouching at the base of the curtain which moments later burst into flames.

The figure was shown placing something in his sporran, the pouch which Scots traditionally wear over their kilts. The prosecution alleged it was a box of matches.

Watson's lawyer accepted his client had drunk "more than was wise" on the evening in question.

Experts told the court the blaze caused 4,500 pounds of damage and had endangered lives.

Watson, 56, has since resigned his seat in the Scottish parliament and his post as director of Scottish football club Dundee United.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

People I Can Do Without:

A brain surgeon with BORN TO LOSE tattooed on his hand.

Couples whose children's names all start with the same initial.

A man in a hospital gown, directing traffic.

A waitress with a visible infection on her serving hand.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(That' all fine and dandy, but how are you gonna tell the flies about it?)

No flies on Chinese as Beijing toilet trains for Games

BEIJING (Reuters) - No more than two flies or two pieces of discarded trash or waste are allowed in Beijing's public toilets at any given time.

That is the order authorities in the city's Xicheng District have given 400 new environmental workers charged with enforcing what local officials call "the first public toilet management standard in Beijing's history".

The Chinese capital's toilets are notoriously foul, many containing no running water, flushing mechanisms or toilet paper. But since winning the bid to host the 2008 Olympics, Beijing has been working hard to improve toilet cleanliness.

"This is a move to change the image of Beijing's toilets and make a better impression," a Xicheng sanitation official surnamed Li told Reuters by telephone.

In July, the city vowed to launch "the largest toilet revolution in its history". By September 6, nearly 1,100 public toilets across the city had been upgraded, the Beijing Times reported on Tuesday.

Some new public toilets in popular tourist spots are even ranked by a star system, with the cleanest and most comfortable getting a coveted four stars.

Kim's Law #11

When I am late or in a hurry to get dressed, I will always, ALWAYS, be unable to find a matching pair of socks.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Now may be a good time to invest in some Static Guard!)

Power-dressing man leaves trail of destruction

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building.

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together.

When he walked into a building in the country town of Warrnambool in the southern state of Victoria Thursday, the electrical charge ignited the carpet.

"It sounded almost like a firecracker," Clewer told Australian radio Friday.

"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt."

Employees, unsure of the cause of the mysterious burning smell, telephoned firefighters who evacuated the building.

"There were several scorch marks in the carpet, and we could hear a cracking noise -- a bit like a whip -- both inside and outside the building," said fire official Henry Barton.

Firefighters cut electricity to the building thinking the burns might have been caused by a power surge.

Clewer, who after leaving the building discovered he had scorched a piece of plastic on the floor of his car, returned to seek help from the firefighters.

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

"I've been firefighting for over 35 years and I've never come across anything like this," he said.

Firefighters took possession of Clewer's jacket and stored it in the courtyard of the fire station, where it continued to give off a strong electrical current.

David Gosden, a senior lecturer in electrical engineering at Sydney University, told Reuters that for a static electricity charge to ignite a carpet, conditions had to be perfect.

"Static electricity is a similar mechanism to lightning, where you have clouds rubbing together and then a spark generated by very dry air above them," said Gosden.

Blast From The Past

Remember these? There were all the rage when I was in grade school. I had to beg my mom to get me some just so I could take them to school and be "cool." Boy they were hot though! These were a hot commodity in school. Literally! I haven't seen these in the stores nowadays, but you can order them online. Yeah, they really have them online. Is there anything they don't have online nowadays?

Link: Soda Pop Stop

Stupid News Story of The Day

(What some people will do for money!)

Frenchman lived with dead mother to keep pension

MARSEILLE, France (Reuters) - A Frenchman in his sixties lived for five years with the body of his dead mother to keep receiving her 700 euros (473 pounds) monthly pension, judicial sources said on Saturday.

The man, a hospital morgue worker, is to be prosecuted for fraud and concealing a death on Saturday after police found the corpse in a two-room apartment in the city centre in piles of rubbish.

Police went to the flat because of unpaid rent and other bills. The man had imitated an old woman's voice to deceive the social services.

His mother had died of natural causes at the age of 94.

Yesterday, after I came home from shopping, I went to open my door and my neighbor's cat ran up the steps. Well, before I could close the door, he ran into my apartment. He wandered around for a bit, snooping around, checking out my fish and my hamster (as seen in this photo). I could not get him to leave! Finally, I tricked him by taking a bag of hamster food and shaking it. That got his attention. I put the bag of hamster food outside on my porch and he went to inspect it. As soon as he was outside, I shut my door. The poor kitty just looked at me from outside, and I almost felt bad. But I am sure Squeakers about had a heart attack when she saw that big cat looking at her - hehe. The whole incident was hilarious. I was laughing about it all afternoon.
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"You know what I never liked? The high-five. Sometimes I watch an old sports film on ESPN Classics, and I see a whole game without a single high-five. It's great."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(And just HOW did he think this was going to help?)

Man Tries Sex Video to Get Order Lifted

FARGO, N.D. - A man thought he might get a protection order lifted by secretly videotaping himself having sex with the woman he was told to leave alone. He was wrong, police said.

Justin W. Fraase, 26, gave the video to an officer, expecting it to show the woman didn't fear him. Instead, the tape revealed more than enough evidence for his arrest, police said.

"He obviously didn't watch it before he gave it to us," Lt. Tod Dahle said. Fraase was charged Thursday with sexually assaulting the woman two days earlier in his apartment.

A judge set his bail at $50,000 cash or bond. The woman, who has two children with Fraase, said he called her over to his home to discuss the custody of their kids.

When she arrived, he cornered her and wouldn't let her call for help until she had sex with him, she told police. "I was terrified," she said Thursday. "I didn't know what to do."

Afterward, Fraase showed her a camcorder and told her he had taped them.

Assistant Cass County State's Attorney Leah Viste watched the video and charged Fraase with three felonies: gross sexual imposition, felonious restraint and violation of a protection order. She also charged him with surreptitious intrusion and simple assault, both misdemeanors.

The video, which Viste said is 30 to 40 minutes long, includes audio of the woman's struggle and makes it clear she didn't want the sex, Dahle said.

"He provides us the videotape and doesn't realize that there's all this evidence on there that ends up putting him in jail on all these felony charges," Dahle said. "So basically he arrested himself."