Random Thought For Today

I walked in the bathroom at work the other day and there was a sign on one of the stall doors that said "Out of order. Thank you." It got me to thinking what exactly they meant by saying "thank you." Thank you for breaking the toilet? Thank you for not removing the sign and peeing in ther anyway? Thank you for observing our pretty sign? Thank you for choosing this bathroom? Thank you for what??? I wonder...

Phobia of The Day

Gephysrophobia: fear of crossing bridges

Random Fact of The Day

The Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge in Japan is the longest suspension bridge in the world at 12,826 ft (total length).

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

Ask Mr. Language Person

Q. What is the best true headline ever to appear in an actual newspaper?

A. In our opinion, that would be a headline from the Petersburg (Virginia) Progressive-Index, over a story about a mishap during the 2001 Bike Week gathering of motorcyclists in Florida. The headline, which was sent to us by alert reader Mary Ellen Lloyd, says: 'Skydiver Lands on Beer Vendor at Women's Cole-Slaw Wrestling Event.'

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Next week, you can help daddy work on his new fear of bridges.)

Dad breaks leg trying to cure phobia

LANTANA, Fla. - A father broke his leg trying to cure his daughter's fear of heights. Troy Stewart and his 10-year-old daughter Meagan were on their daily bike ride Monday evening when Stewart suggested they jump off a 15-foot bridge as a way of curing the girl's fear of heights.

Meagan made the jump into the Intracoastal Waterway safely, but her 31-year-old father ended up with a broken leg.

"At first he said, `Do you want to do it or not?'" Meagan said. "I thought, `It's kind of high,' and then he's like, `Trust me.'"

Stewart was able to get out of the water and waited nearby after Meagan rode her bike the half mile home and alerted her mother, who called authorities.

"In his mind, he was playing," said Mandy Potter, 32, of her partner of 10 years. "But I don't condone his child's play."

Stewart was not charged with a crime since Meagan jumped willingly. However, officials from the state Department of Children & Families planned to interview him.

"This is an example of what not to do as a parent," police Capt. Andy Rundle said. "And let this be a lesson to everybody: Somebody's tried it, and it's not a good idea."

Put on your training pants, people, and let's go to work

Well, I probably won't be blogging very much in the mornings for the next 6-8 weeks, since I am being moved, temporarily (or so they say), upstairs to the training classroom to assist the trainer in training the new hires. I was volunteered for this job, not by me, but by someone else. I don't really mind doing it. It will be a nice break from this day-to-day doing nothing crapola that I am doing (or rather, not doing) everyday. Sometimes I get so bored of doing nothing...just waiting for someone to bring me something to do. So actually having something to do will be nice for a change. Yeah. You heard it right. I am actually happy about being given work to do. Have I gone mad??? Not yet. But give me a few weeks and ask me that question again.You may get a different answer.

My feet have been killing me lately. Well, it's actually the heels of my feet that have been hurting. Everyday they hurt, and everyday I keep thinking, "maybe tomorrow they won't hurt." But that tomorrow never comes. I guess I should tell the doctor about it on my next visit. That might be a good idea - lol.

I heard that Britney Spears had her baby ... a boy... yesterday or something. Let's hope she has learned a little bit from her 1st baby and won't go driving around town with him on her lap. I just hope they don't give her as much crap about showing pictures of him to the world like they did with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Don't you think parents want some time with their babies to be alone and to be a family instead of parading around town and showing off pictures of them to the magazines? Sheesh. This is probably the only time in the kids' lives that they will be anonymous and not being followed around by the papparazzi. I got so tired of listening to crap about Tom and Katie and their "alien offspring" (to quote a certain gossip columnist). Don't you think that is a little sick, calling a baby an "alien" or whatnot? Don't you think she is going to grow up and learn about all this crap they were saying about her? How mean. She is just a baby. Leave her the hell alone.

Anyway, I know I got off on a rant there, but so what - lol. It is my blog. Whatever...I do what I want : P

I watched House last night, and damn if that show doesn't get better and better...and Dr House, cuter and cuter - lol. How come my doctors don't look like him????

I don't have much else to say today since nothing new has really happened in my neck of the woods. When something actually happens, I will write more. Just don't hold your breath.

Phobia of The Day

Coulrophobia: fear of clowns

Random Fact of The Day

The word clown comes from words meaning "clot" or "clod" which came also to mean "clumsy fellow", according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

~ from Wikipedia

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I've always been puny. As a youth, I totally missed the boat to Puberty Island. It sailed away with all my classmates, leaving me standing on the dock. When it returned, down the gangplank came tromping all these young adults between six and eight feet tall, sporting muscles and beards and bosoms (sometimes all three). Whereas I was still this little hairless dweeb with a voice in the Pinocchio range."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(So THIS is how you got promoted?)

Spanish police embarrassed by porno film

MADRID, Spain - Spanish police officers settling in for a video presentation on how to get promoted to sergeant were instead shown footage from a hard-core pornographic film, officials said Tuesday.

Howling laughter rippled through the auditorium where 120 Madrid city police officers had gathered Monday to see the video on operations at an academy where they are to study, the Madrid regional justice and interior ministry said.

A ministry official said computer technicians have blamed the glitch on a Trojan Horse computer virus that activated when the computer containing the video was turned on.

"It was just bad luck that the virus activated right then," said the official, who could not be named because of department rules.

The person operating the computer stopped the video and turned it back on several times but each time the porno movie came back on, so the operator eventually just shut the computer off altogether, the official said.

Caption This!

Listen to me! I am super, super serial! Manbearpig is out there, and he will get you! I am so super serial!

(if you have seen the Manbearpig episode of South Park, you will get this - hehe)

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Phobia of The Day

Aulophobia: fear of flutes

Random Fact of The Day

The flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge, instead of using a reed.

~ from Wikipedia

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I found out from the Internet that when you get to be my age (old), you lose bone density and muscle mass. This alarmed me, because I never had any muscle mass to begin with. Men: You know how, when your wife can't open a pickle jar, she gives it to you, and you're supposed to smile in a manly patronizing way as you effortlessly twist it open? That's not what happens in our house. What happens is, after a grim struggle lasting several minutes, I wind up lying on the kitchen floor, exhausted and whimpering, while the pickle jar, unopened, laughs and flirts boldly with my wife. Sometimes it gives me a wedgie."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Talk about your bad luck.)

Bicyclist awaiting ambulance hit again

GREENVILLE, S.C. - A driver has been charged with leaving the scene of an accident with injuries after her car hit a bicyclist who was in the road waiting on an ambulance to treat him for injuries after being hit by another car.

Shannon Harris of Anderson turned herself in to investigators Sunday night after initially leaving the scene of the accident, said Lance Cpl. Kathy Hiles, a spokeswoman for the Highway Patrol.

The bike rider, whose name has not been released, was in serious condition at Anderson Area Medical Center, Hiles said. He was not wearing a helmet and his bike lacked proper lighting, Hiles said.

The bicyclist was hit first by a Nissan driven by Erin Hartness of Anderson, Hiles said. No charges were filed in that case.

While he was waiting in the road for an ambulance, the bicyclist was hit by the second car, whose driver stopped for a moment before leaving the scene.

___

Information from: The Greenville News, http://www.greenvillenews.com

Muddling through Monday morning

Monday. There is nothing good to be said about Monday.

I am tired this morning. I went to bed around midnight and didn't fall asleep til almost 1 am. When I woke up this morning, I really REALLY didn't want to get up, but get up I must. Thus is the case every weekday morning.

I didn't do a whole lot this weekend. I did go out and buy me a graphire tablet on Friday, which I played around with over the weekend. It is so cool. It takes a little getting used to drawing on the tablet and having what you are drawing show up on the computer monitor instead of on paper, but I am getting the hang of it...slowly.

I also went to Circuit City on Saturday and got a Sirius satellite radio receiver for my car. I hate the radio stations in this town, and hate it even more when I am driving from place to place where I am in the car for hours and keep having to switch radio stations cuz they keep fading out. I am the kind of person who MUST have music in the car when I drive. And not just any music.....good music. So satellite radio was the way to go for me. I had been wanting it for ages, and I finally caved in and got it. And I love it.

I didn't do much other than that over the weekend. I had a really bad headache on Friday and a whole lot of pain yesterday, so I kind of just took it easy. The weekend always goes by way too fast, even when you have a 3-day weekend.

I did find it extremely funny that Paris Hilton got snagged for a DUI. She made this stupid statement to the media that she hadn't eaten all day long, yet she mentioned having gone out to dinner around 10 pm with her sister and friends. Guess she forgot about that. It is about time she got in trouble. It's not like it's the first time she should have gotten into trouble. Besides, even celebrities (fake or not) should have to take responsibility for their actions.

I could go on, but I won't. I am still in that "waking-up" zone, and my brain is not wanting to function right now. It says "sleep" but my body says "stay awake." I wonder whch side will win this one.

Phobia of The Day

Placophobia: fear of tombstones

Random Fact of The Day

The weight of a carat (200 milligrams), standard unit of measurement for gemstones, is based on the weight of the carob seed.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"With 'fly' casting, you wade into the river and attempt to place a 'fly' - a furry little hook thingy weighing slightly less than a hydrogen atom - on top of the water right where the trout are blooping. You do this by waving your fishing rod back and forth using the following rhythm, as explained to us (I am not making this up) by our guide Susanne: 'CO-ca CO-la, CO-ca CO-la.' On your third CO-la, you point your arm forward, and the 'fly,' in a perfect imitation of nature, lands on your head. Or sometimes it forms itself into a snarl that cannot be untangled without the aid of a chain saw AND a flamethrower. At least that's what kept happening to me and my friend Ron Ungerman (Yes! 'Ungerman!') We stood there for hours, waving our rods and going 'CO-ca CO-la,' but most of the time we were not getting our flies anywhere near the blooping. The trout were laughing so hard at us that they considered evolving legs so they could crawl onto land and catch their breath."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(If you're stupid and you know it, clap your hands.)

Auto-eroticism undoes driver

BRATISLAVA (Reuters) - A Slovak driver who crashed into a bus shocked rescuers who found him unconscious and half naked with a vacuum pump on his penis.

Police said the 42-year-old man, driving an old Citroen in the Slovak town of Levice, had ignored a "give way" sign.

"It's very likely he had auto-sex while driving, it is a matter of investigation. After the accident he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it (the pump) was placed on his penis," police officer Peter Polak told Reuters.

"I've never seen anything like this, nor have my colleagues," he added.

The man was taken to hospital with head injuries.