It is raining....

Well, today it is raining, so no trip to big Sur this weekend. Maybe next week...or the week after - lol.

I actually got up at 5 am yesterday and worked some overtime. It was soooo foggy in the morning. I could barely see 10 feet in front of me in some parts of the drive to work. While I hate waking up that early ( I mean HATE), I actually was pretty wide awake and not even sleepy. And I actually worked! I know...What a concept! I guess I can be motivated sometimes. Maybe I am not THAT jaded...yet.

I got the weirdest email today. This is what it said...

hello

i wish i knew that you are ok i have not heard from you and
i didnt mind calling you so it didnt cost you any money...Kimberely
are you told not to talk to me? I dont know what i have done
but your dad thinks i am a lunatic so mabe that is why


love Jennifer


p.s. i guess in some weird way i am nutty but i still have me and god has been good to me. My social security stsarted and i bought me a new refrigerator and a sectional that is so comfortable.
Funny, huh. I have no idea who this person is. I think she may have gotten the wrong email address. lol. It did make me laugh this morning.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"One of the more baffling works of art I saw at the Miami Beach art show was called Moonwalk. You walked into the space and it was empty, just blank white walls. Around the ceiling were half a dozen speakers making a high-pitched sonar sound, like this: 'boop.' That was the art: 'boop.' Sitting outside on a folded chair was a gallery person, smoking Marlboros. I wondered what it would be like to fly all the way from Paris to Miami, only to spend four days sitting outside an empty shipping container going 'boop.' There was another work that consisted of a hole drilled in the floor, and some weeds stuck in it. I believe the price on that was $6,000. While I was examining it, I heard one Serious Art Person say to another (I swear): 'Wouldn't that be wonderful in the foyer?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Can he only govern at night?)

Vampire seeks governor's job

MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.

"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father."

However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.

Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."

"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined.

Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy Friday -- the 13th -- because that was "my lucky number."

Another day, another fifty cents

Well, here I am back at the great OC...and I am using the word "great" with much sarcasm. I am so unmotivated lately. I think the reason why I haven't had much road rage lately isn't because I have turned mellow...it is because I am unmotivated enough to even care about cars cutting in front of me and the like. I am sleepy and feel like crap. I just want to do nothing. I haven't even taken down my Christmas tree or fixed that bar in my closet yet. Yes, I have officially become jaded. Hopefully it will pass soon. Can't let Bakersfield drivers know that I have given my flip off finger a break.

I heard they are doing a sequel to Clerks. I have mixed feelings about this venture. While I loved the original Clerks (it is one of my all-time favorite movies) and would love to see Dante and Randal back at the good ole' Quick Stop, I dont' know if they can do the movie justice. I mean, just look how many crappy sequels there have been to really good movies (The Black Stallion Returns, to give you an example). And besides, Kevin Smith's last movie, Jersey Girl, sucked ass. I hope he does a better job on Clerks 2 than he did with that piece of crap.

Oh well. Back to my boring existance...lol

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Another piece of art at the art show was a ratty old collapsed armchair - worn, dirty, leaking stuffing, possibly housing active vermin colonies. I asked the gallery person if the chair was art, and she said, yes, it was a work of art titled Chair. I asked her what role the artist had played in creating Chair. She said, "He found it." She noted that Chair had been professionally crated and shipped to the art show. Chair is for sale. The price is $2,800. Really. I looked up Chair on a Serious Art website, which said: "The chair offers not a weedy patina of desuetude but an apotheosis of its former occupant." See, I missed that altogether, about the desuetude and the apotheosis. I thought it was just a crappy old junk chair some guy took off a trash pile and was now trying to see for 2,800 clams."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(The things some people will do to get a world record.)

Man Aims for New Snake-Kissing Record

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A kiss is just a kiss, but it may prove to be the kiss of death for a Malaysian snake charmer who will attempt to set a new world record by planting 50 smooches on a venomous snake in 10 minutes.

Shahimi Abdul Hamid, 33, will perform the dangerous feat on March 11 in a bid to break the current record held by an American man who kissed a poisonous snake 30 times in an unspecified time, the national news agency Bernama said Thursday.

Shahini has urged Malaysians to support him in his endeavor, saying he "wants to prove that Asians can also be champions in taming poisonous snakes."

He could not be reached for comments.

Bernama said Shahimi displayed his prowess at a news conference late Wednesday by kissing a three-meter long King Cobra 21 times. His bid in March will be filmed by U.S. television show Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Bernama said.

Out with the road rage and in with the song rage

I am happy to report that I had no incidents of road rage so far this week. I know. I am as shocked as you are. What is wrong with me? Have I suddenly become mellow? Nah. I think "mellow" would be pushing it. "Slightly kinder and gentler," maybe. And I stress the word "slightly." I don't think anyone would call me "mellow." I have been called "feisty" (which is a kinder and gentler way to call you a bitch), which I think suits me better. but "mellow?" Don't think so.

I did have a case of "song rage" this morning. You know what "song rage" is. It's when you get a song, usually a really awful song or a song you haven't even thought about in years, stuck in your head. Well I had song rage this morning. I don't know where it came from or how it got there, but all morning, all that was going through my head was," Who put the 'ram' in the ram a lam a ding dong, who put the 'bop' in the bop se bop se bop." What the hell??? I haven't thought about that song in sooo long. And, besides. I HATE that song. Grrrrrrrrrr. How come the crappy ass songs get stuck in my head? Is it some form of torture? And why am I being tortured? Why, I ask you...why???

I went to the store last night to pick up some soda and some toilet paper and a book of stamps, you know since the postage rate went up and all. Well, to my unsurprise, they didn't even have any stamps. No old ones...no new ones. None. Crapola. I went to the post office the other night to get some 2 cent stamps, but to my even more unsurprise, they were sold out. I smell a conspiracy here. They up and raised the price of a stamp to 39 cents and you can't even get any 2 cent stamps cuz they are continually sold out of them. You can get a book of 39 cent stamps from the vending machine though (if you have the cashola on you to get them, that is...I had a $20 bill the other night, and there was no way I was chancing putting that puppy in the machine...last year I put a $10 in there and it ripped me off...no stamps...no money back...nada....GRRR!). I figured I would get a book of 39 cent stamps and then when the demand for the 2 cent stamps wore out, I would get some and use up my old 37 cent ones. Well, you can't even get a book of stamps at the grocery store. So much for my plan. Yes, I smell a conspiracy. And it stinks!

And on a totally off note...when are they gonna stop making those Burger King commercials with that plastic man-looking king dude? That guy scares the crap burgers outta me. I had a nightmare about him the other night. Stop the king! Stop the insanity! Let me sleep in peace!!

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Petanque was invented in 1907 near Marseille, at a bar. As far as I can tell, it is never played far from a bar. It's sort of like bocce, except it's played with steel balls, called 'boules.' You keep your feet together and throw your ball underhand, palm down, using a motion that I can only describe as 'French.' The object is to get your balls closer than your opponents' balls to another little ball, called the 'point' ball. When a team has scored thirteen points, it's time to go to the bar."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Momma always said to wash behind your ears. Listen to your momma.)

Robbery Suspect 'Sings the Blues'

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Memo to robbers: If you disguise yourself as a Smurf, make sure you wipe behind your ears afterward. Anchorage police said a man painted his face and tried to rob a hotel, but was arrested when officers spotted residual blue stains on his neck, ears and forehead.

Daniel Peter Clark, 19, is charged with robbery and assault.

Anchorage police Lt. Paul Honeman said a clerk at the Super 8 Motel said a man with a blue face walked in and asked for money at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday. When the clerk said no, the man pulled out a knife.

The clerk retreated into a hotel office and locked the door and the suspect fled on foot, Honeman said.

Police put out a description of the suspect: a man in his early 20s, thin, with short blond hair wearing a puffy red coat like a ski jacket. And a blue face.

Much of the description sounded familiar to Officer Kevin McDonald.

A day earlier, McDonald had responded to a disturbance call at the Chelsea Inn. He spoke to a young man with short blond hair who was wearing a puffy red coat.

McDonald and Sgt. Chris Sims drove to the Chelsea Inn and spoke to the desk clerk. Twenty minutes after the robbery call, Clark appeared. "In runs Mr. Clark, still wearing his blue face," Honeman said. "It was a clue."

Blue ink on his fingers also was a tip-off.

Police believe Clark ran from the Super 8, washed his face and walked to the Chelsea, where he was checked in. Blue stain, however, was prominent on his ears, neck and throat.

Police obtained a search warrant for Clark's room. They recovered a knife sheath and an ink blotter commonly used at bingo parlors for stamping cards.

"He appears to have cut it open and emptied the contents into an ice bucket," Honeman said. "He painted himself up good."

Police photographed Clark with the blue stains in place.

He is being held at the Anchorage Jail with bail set at $3,000, Honeman said.

Tis the season for award shows

I watched the Critics Choice Awards last night, mostly because nothing else of interest was on, and partly because I kinda wanted to see who would win.

It was a decent awards show...not as fancy-schmancy as the Oscars, yet not as hokey as the MTV Movie awards. I was very happy that the cast of Crash took home the award for Best Acting Ensemble. For anyone who hasn't seen it, it is a brilliant movie. Rent it...now! You won't be disappointed. It would have to say that of all the movies I saw last year, Crash was THE best.

I was also glad to see Paul Giamatti win for Best Supporting Actor (for Cinderella Man) He was royally screwed over by the academy last year when he was not nominated for his performance in Sideways. (grrrr)

Dakota Fanning won for Best Younger Actress for her performance in War of The Worlds. I haven't seen the movie, but Dakota is just too cute. She was so adorable while making her acceptance speech.

Brokeback Mountain won for Best Director (Ang Lee), Best Supporting Actress (Michelle Williams - it is nice to see those Dawson's Creek kids all grown up - hehe), and Best Picture. I haven't seen it yet, but after all the awards and nominations it has been receiving, I sure want to see it. Especially after all the controversy (like a theatre in Utah refusing to show it) and those idiots protesting outside the award show (holding signs that had such intelligent phrases as "No homo on the range" on them - sheesh), it just makes me want to see it even more. Besides, Jake Gyllenhaal is in it and everyone knows how much I adore him and his eyes - lol.

The show was pretty good, but I always wonder why they save the big awards (Best Actor, Best Director and Best Picture) for last. It seems like the shows always run out of time toward the end and the last few winners have to struggle to hurry up and finish their speeches before they are so rudely cut off. Let them finish their speeches. Some of these people may never win another award. I would be so pissed if that ever happened to me. Like last night...as the producer for Brokeback Mountain was saying her acceptance speech, they started to roll the credits. Grrrrr....how rude.

Anyway, I am gonna have to see Brokeback Mountain one of these days.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I've discovered the perfect sport. You don't have to be in great shape to play it. You barely have to stand. You're thinking: golf. Wrong. Compared to the sport I'm talking about, golf is brutal, sometimes forcing you to physically walk fifteen feet from your cart to your ball. Whereas the sport I'm talking about involves almost no walking, and in fact little movement of any kind, except for signaling the bartender. The most strenuous part of this sport is pronouncing its name: petanque."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Now I see where her dogs get it from.)

Drunk Woman Sics Dogs on New Zealand Cops

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A drunken woman unleashed pitbulls on two New Zealand policemen responding to a domestic dispute, sending them scrambling to their patrol car where she bashed in their windshield with her feet, police said.

Gunshots and pepper spray couldn't deter the pair of angry hounds, which hurled themselves at the car's windows, said Detective Senior Sergeant Neil Grimstone in the northern city of Auckland.

The "intoxicated and aggressive female," meanwhile, "jumped up onto the bonnet of the car and smashed the patrol vehicle's windscreen with her feet," he said in a statement.

Back-up officers arrived and tried to negotiate with the woman, but to no avail. One of the dogs charged and was shot and wounded. The woman also assailed officers and was arrested, he said.

Grimstone said the shooting still didn't deter either dog, with the wounded one again turning on police — and shot a second time.

"The dog has, only after being shot twice, then run off," he said.

Both animals were later impounded and were to be destroyed, he said.

The woman, aged 27 but not identified by police, faced charges of assault with a weapon, intentional damage, disorderly behavior and resisting police. Grimstone said more serious charges were likely.

"There is no question that this woman is totally responsible for the demise of these animals. Drunken, violent, aggressive and confrontational behavior like this will not be tolerated," he said.

Grimstone wasn't immediately unavailable for comment Tuesday. It was unclear why the officers were called to the home.

Quiz time!

The Picto-Personality Test You are a person who is very ambitious, and constantly thinking of ways to further your own goals. When alone, you like to spend your time doing something that will better yourself. You are laid back. Anything goes, with you. In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

When backpacking thru Europe, stay away from the hostile hostels.

I went to Santa Maria over the weekend. Nice, sunny weather, though slightly chilly and breezy. Chris and I went to lunch at this place in Guadalupe called the Far Western Tavern. I had a yummy french dip sandwich with onion rings - mmmmm. It was yummy, yummy for my tummy. It is a cool restaurant and good food, too .

We went to see Hostel on Saturday evening. Damn, that was a good movie. Full of blood and guts and gore galore! I know, Cyndi...you told me not to "right" (HAHAHA) a bloody review of this movie, but too bad! Just teasing...I won't go into too much detail, since I don't wanna blow the ending for everyone. Trust me. It's good. It is all about these 3 guys who are backpacking across Europe. They plan on ending up in Barcelona eventually, but they don't quite make it there. They end up going to this hostel in some Slovakian city based on the promises of hot women and lots of sex...hey, what man would turn that offer down?

Anyway, after what seems to be a good start to their visit, things start to turn bad when one of their buddies turns up missing. Soon after, another one of them turns up missing. Now it is just Paxton (played by Jay Hernandez) who is left and he is starting to get suspicious.

The usual murder and mayhem follow, but there is a twist...You eventually find out what is happening to the visitors in the town, and it is not pretty. Paxton will pay a high price to find out what happened to his friends. Will he make it out alive? Well, I guess you will have to see the movie to find out. hehehe. (Sorry, but I hate it when people ruin the movie for me by telling me what happens before I see it).

On Sunday, Chris and I went to Klondike's Pizza in Santa Maria. They have the best pizza there. We always get the Denali pizza, which is basically their "everything goes" pizza. They sure don't skimp on the toppings there. I had 3 slices and then I was done. My tummy was getting revenge on me for eating too much and drinking too much root beer. I thought I was gonna hurl, but, fortunately, I didn't. Whew!

This upcoming weekend is a 3-day weekend (would've been a 4-day weekend, but I said I would put in some OT on Friday ... oh why do I have to be so nice????) Chris mentioned maybe going to Big Sur and camping out there. I haven't been to Big Sur since I was a kid. Should be fun!!!

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"At a recent art show I saw a work of art consisting of a video repeated over and over, showing a man - not in peak physical condition, I might add - rollerblading around a vast empty space, stark naked. I'm proud to say I betrayed no emotion while viewing this work, although my daughter, who was three at the time, said, quite loudly: "You can see his tushy! Yuck!" She was young, and had no art training."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Ahhh...revenge is so very, very sweet.)

Mouse Thrown Into Fire Sets Home Ablaze

FORT SUMNER, N.M. - A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.

Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.

"I've seen numerous house fires," village Fire Department Capt. Jim Lyssy said, "but nothing as unique as this one."