Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"What is all this nonsense about angels? Do you realize three out of four Americans now believe in angels? What are they, stupid? You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive, collective, chemical flashback from all the drugs- all the drugs!- smoked, swallowed, snorted, and shot up by all Americans from 1960 to 2000. Forty years of adulterated street drugs will get you some angels, my friend!"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Nuns Gone Wild!)

Nun's wild dancing earns her a reprimand

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian nun's acrobatic and indecorous dancing with a missionary during the Catholic World Youth Day in Germany over the weekend earned her a reprimand from her mother superior, a Belgian paper said Tuesday.

Daily Het Laatste Nieuws showed pictures of a dancing Johanne Vertommen being held up in the air by the missionary, and then clinging to him with her legs wrapped around his body.

"I wouldn't do this at home but at such occasions I get carried away by the enthusiasm of the group," the 29-year-old told the paper later.

"My mother superior raised the issue today: she thinks I should watch out a bit and bear in mind that I represent our community," Vertommen said.

Pope Benedict attended the celebration at the Marienfeld, outside Cologne, in the presence of some 700,000 people.

check out my "druggie" eye - lol - I just got back from the opthamologist and he dilated my eyes - everything is blurry - luckily, my mom drove me so I didn't have to drive home - I am gonna lie down - lol
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"A sixty-five year-old fitness expert trotting backward from Winnipeg to Chile in an effort to promote backward trotting was killed today when she was hit by a truck head-on from the rear."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Back off bitch....that's MY chair!)

German pensioner attacks woman over poolside chair

BERLIN (Reuters) - An elderly German grew so attached to a poolside deckchair that he attacked a woman who moved his towel to another lounger, police said on Tuesday.

When the 76-year-old pensioner returned to his favourite spot at a pool in the central town of Bad Endbach, he was enraged to find the woman, 29, had moved his towel to an unoccupied lounger so she could lie down next to her mother.

The other chair was just the same "but he didn't want to use that one," said a police spokesman in nearby Marburg.

When abusive language failed to shift the woman, the furious senior citizen got physical. "He tipped the chair over and her with it," the spokesman said. "She couldn't believe he went so far over such a trifle."

Here it is, Tuesday night....

and I am sitting here at my computer, half watching CSI on Spike TV (I think I have seen every episode by now, but it is like an addiction!), and half thinking. Ok, more like 80% watching CSI and 20% thinking. I will probably hit the hay soon, even though it is not even 9 pm yet. I am just tired tonight. I have to go to my eye exam tomorrow...blindness here I come! I hate getting my eyes dilated. It is not really painful...just unpleasant...very unpleasant. At least that means I get off work early. Call that a consolation prize I guess.

Veronica found out that she is having a baby boy. Congratulations Vee!!!!! I bet he is gonna be such a cutie.

My brother called me this evening, wanting to go to Alcatraz Island...well, not at this very moment! lol. I guess we are going back to my grandma's house on Thursday evening after I get off work, and going back to San Francisco on Friday. He was going to buy the tickets online for himself, my mom and me. How nice of him :) I guess it is partially to make up for the fighting on the last San Francisco trip. I should know better by now. This time I am taking my walkman so if my mom and my brother start arguing again, I can drown them out - hehe. I prefer NOT to fight, myself.

I think I will lie down. Damned arthritis is pissing me off again.

Kim's Law #8

If I do actually make a grocery list, I will inevitably leave it at home.

Blast From The Past

Remember these? These were those plastic pictures you could put in the oven and would shink down and become hard. I, personally never had any of these. My mom wouldn't let me get them :( But I had friends who did. I would go to a friend's house and we would put one in the oven and sit and watch it shrink thru the oven window. It was so cool! (well, it was when I was a kid).

Trivia: Shrinky Dinks were invented in 1973 by Betty Morris from Wisconsin.

Link: Shrinky Dinks Website

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"This should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early in the morning and get it out of the way. Then go driving while the visibility is still good."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Tired crooks make bad crooks.)

Nightmare for thief nabbed snoring on the job

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Australian police responding to a break-in at a furniture store were surprised to discover the suspected culprit asleep at the scene after the man's snoring gave away his hiding place.

Police arrived at the furniture store in the central Australian town of Alice Springs on Saturday night to find the glass front door smashed.

"On walking through the store police thought the offender had fled until they heard snoring coming from the carpet racks. When they climbed up they found the 25-year-old asleep on the carpet underlay and snoring," police said in a statement.

The man was arrested and charged with unlawfully entering a building with intent to commit a crime and stealing.

SPAM update

My Spam inbox count is now up to 6064. At this rate, there will be 50,000 Spams in my box in no time!

Funniest City Names

(taken from Netscape.com)

Unalaska, Alaska

Intercourse, Pennsylvania

Goobertown, Arizona (Arlene, are you from here? lol)

Nothing, Arizona

Bald Knob, Arkansas

Hooker Corner, Indiana (I can't imagine what the main profession on this city's streets is - hehe)

Weiner, Arkansas

Hooker, Oklahoma (I think Indiana, Oklahoma and Arkansas are in cahoots!)

Blue Ball, Delaware (ok, Delaware, too - lol)

Red Head, Florida

French Lick, Indiana

Beaver Lick, Kentucky (LMAO!!!!!)

Jugville, Kentucky (is it me, or are all of these names sounding dirty???)

Hell, Michigan

Tightwad, Missouri

Meat Camp, North Carolina

Idiotville, Oregon (who would want to live here???)

Sweet Lips, Tennessee

Toad Suck, Texas

Quizzy Thingamabob

Your Element is Wood Your power colors: green and brown Your energy: generative Your season: spring Like a tree, you are always growing and changing. And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded. You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others. You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company. What Element Are You?

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Maybe it's true...cats really do have 9 lives.)

Nevada Kitty Survives Jolt, Fire, Fall

GARDNERVILLE, Nev. - A stalking foray atop a power pole left a lucky feline jolted, frizzled and dazed but otherwise OK after he fell off the 40-foot pole and sparked a fire outside a fire house.

The frazzled cat was discovered when paramedic-firefighters Andrew Chrzanowski and Jeremy Hall responded to the fire Wednesday morning after the lights went out at the Topaz Ranch Estates fire house.

"When we got the fire knocked down we saw this burned cat close to the base of the pole," Hall said.

They assumed it was dead until Chrzanowski noticed it was breathing. He put it on a blanket and gave it oxygen.

"We both thought that with the amount of burns he had he wasn't going to make it, but then we started to look more closely and we saw it was all superficial," Hall said. "The fire just burned all his hair off."

The firefighters believe the cat was on the pole, because a bird's nest was found on top and there was a large black spot where something had touched a relay switch on the 25,000-volt line.

Animal Control officer Janet Duzan took the cat to Carson Valley Veterinary Hospital, where Veterinarian Steve Talbot said it should make a full recovery.

"The doctor said it looks like he was in a flash fire and got singed from head to toe," Duzan said.

The cat will be put up for adoption if it is not claimed by its owner, she said.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Don't you hate when a rock band comes onstage and apparently the drummer has decided that somehow it's cool to wear a funny hat?"

Blast From The Past

The Rubik's Cube...that thing that annoyed the heck out of you when you were a kid. Some people (you know who you were!) actually peeled the stickers off of the cube and put them in the right place and then told their friends that they solved the danged puzzle...I actually did solve the puzzle....after like a week! I was never one of those "Rubik's Masters" that could finish it in less than a minute (the freaks!). Followed by the Rubik's Cube, came the Pyramid, Rubik's Rings, Rubik's Revenge, Rubik's Bricks, and Rubik's Snake, among others.

Trivia: The Rubik's Cube was invented by Hungarian Professor Erno Rubik in the 70s.


The Rubik's Cube Official Website

The Zoo!

My mom, my brother and I all went to the San Francisco Zoo yesterday. I had a great time walking around and seeing all the animals. I loved the gorillas. One of them was beating her chest and sticking her tongue out at the people. They were totally showing off. I posted a bunch of pictures down below and even more on my other blog and all of the pics I took on my Yahoo Photo album. Enjoy!

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Siberian Tiger
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Grizzly Bear
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Lions taking a nap
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River Otters
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Polar Bear
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male gorilla
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Gorilla clapping her hands
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Western Lowland Gorilla
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Recticulated Giraffe
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