Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing."

Random Fact of The Day

The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oops. Our bad.)

Elderly Couple Hurt in Raid on Wrong House

HORN LAKE, Miss. - An unidentified elderly Horn Lake couple were hospitalized Thursday after police burst into their home thinking it housed a methamphetamine laboratory.

The incident occurred Wednesday about 4 a.m., said police Capt. Shannon Beshears. Beshears said it was the right address but the wrong house.

Beshears said a heavily armed Tactical Apprehension Containment Team stormed the house.

"We had good information from a reliable source that had been backed up by a purchase of narcotics linked to the address. However, when we arrived at the designated address, there were two houses on the lot. We hit the larger of the two houses.

"It was the wrong house," Beshears said. "The house was totally dark and the TACT members went through to the bedroom looking for the suspects."

A man and a woman — both in their 80s — were injured as TACT team members secured the house although no drugs were found. There were children in the house also, but they were not awakened, Beshears said.

Beshears said the woman received a dislocated shoulder and the man received bruised ribs. Both were taken to Baptist Memorial Hospital-DeSoto, but both asked police not to identify them.

"When we went to the second house on the lot, we found a methamphetamine cook under way and we made an arrest of a woman in connection with that illegal operation," Beshears said.

Police charged Sonseeaharay Lyn Fells, 36, with manufacturing a controlled substance. She was being held in the DeSoto County Jail in Hernando under a $100,000 bond.

Police Chief Darryl Whaley said a full investigation would be made into the operation to determine what happened when officers confronted the elderly couple. He said he believes his officers acted correctly and followed procedures when they entered the first home.

"Obviously, a mistake was made and it was regrettable," he said. "But, I stand by my officers. I think they acted properly."

Beshears said William Clinton Pruitt, 41, also was arrested on a charge of manufacture of a controlled substance and sale of a controlled substance. He was being held under a $200,000 bond.

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

I am Jan

You Are Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is. And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

What Brady Are You?

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base. "

Random Fact of The Day

The sting from a killer bee contains less venom than the sting from a regular bee.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Drunks in a bar. What a concept!)

Finding drunks in a bar -- what are the chances?

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck.

Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkeness, Beck said.

The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car.

"We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said.

"There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss."

She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state.

YES!

Oh my goodness. I am so happy Kevin got booted off of American Idol. I guess it is about time the voters picked the earwax out of their ears long enough to not vote for him. It is about time!
I was wrong about who was gonna get booted, but my bottom 3 picks were right, smack-dab on. And everyone knows that I had wanted Kevin to get booted weeks ago. I just figured all the little kids would keep voting for him. Maybe their mommies and daddies took away their cell phone privileges this week - hehe.

A new South Park season debuted tonight. It was just sooooo wrong, but yet, so funny. Poor Chef - boy he got killed off in just such a bad way. I loved Chef. He was just so funny. I am gonna miss his character, but since Isaac Hayes is so opposed to Matt and Trey's portayal of Scientologists, he just had to quit. Phooey on him. Party pooper.

At least Carlos Mencia was in true form on his season debut tonight. Now there is one dude who is not afraid to make fun of anyone. Kudos to him. He is a funny, funny man. Gotta love Mencia!

On a side note, my right shoulder has been killing me for over 2 weeks now. I am starting to wonder whether or not I should go to the doctor. It feels like bone is rubbing against bone. It hurts soooo bad. Especially when I am driving. I know. I am such a whiner. But it hurts!!!!
Thank goodness a friend at work gave me a vicodin, cuz I left my meds at home.

Damned shoulder. I wish I wasn't so broken - lol.

Just for Arlene....

As Arlene pointed out to me today in an email, St Patrick's is over. So, just for you, I changed my blog back to its normal state of being. I hope you're happy, you punk - lol.

Random Fact of The Day

Each nostril of a human being registers smell in a different way. Smells that are made from the right nostril are more pleasant than the left.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Next time, leave the pantyhose at home.)

Fishnet Hosiery Does in Robbery Suspect

MONTEREY, Calif. - A man's pantyhose led to his arrest, authorities said. An unshaven man wearing a black evening gown, fishnet stockings, calf-high boots and a black wig robbed a USA Gas station Monday morning, authorities alleged.

The armed man stuffed $290 in cash into an ensemble-matching black purse.

"I've been with the department for 22 years, and this is the first time I've heard of this happening anywhere here," police Lt. Phil Penko said.

About 35 minutes after the robbery, police Officer Chad Ventimiglia spotted a black Saab with fishnet pantyhose hanging from the front driver's side door, dragging on the ground, investigators said.

The car was pulled over and Michael Leslie Clouse, 26, was arrested and booked for investigation of armed robbery.

A plastic replica handgun allegedly was found inside his purse, Penko said.

American Idol recap

Ok. I am gonna go out on a limb and say that the 3 people I expect to see in the top 3 on American Idol are Chris, Katharine and Mandisa. I love Elliott, too, but I don't think he will be in the final 3. Final 4, maybe, but not final 3. Mandisa was just awesome tonight. That girl can saaaang! Katharine was amazing, too. I just love her voice. But Chris.....he is in a league of his own. His version of "I Walk The Line" was beyond incredible. Hell, I would probably even buy that as a single. It was great! He took the song and made it his own, which is something a great singer does.

I was disappointed with the judges for saying good things about Kevin's performance. He just totally sucked. Why he is still in the running is beyond me. He needs to go, and he needs to go now.

Bucky was also so-so. While I liked him better than Kevin, that is not saying much.

The others (Kellie, Paris, Lisa, Taylor and Ace) were ok, too. Kellie picked a country song, which is her fortè. She did kinda go off-key a little after the key change though, but I suppose I am nitpicking. She did do a good job though. Kudos to her. Ace was a lot better this week than he was last week (but then, anything would have been an improvement over last week).

Bottom 3? Hmm....Ok...I am gonna say who DESERVES to be in the bottom 3............Bucky, Kevin and Lisa. I like Lisa, but her performance this week was not all that great. I am almost gonna say Taylor maybe, too, since I didn't really care for his performance this week either.

So after all is said and done, I am gonna say it is gonna be bye bye Bucky (even though I think Kevin NEEDS to go home, I think there are enough 11 year-olds and grandmas out there who will vote for him).

Random Fact of The Day

Europe is the only continent without a desert.

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I probably shouldn't admit this to you younger readers, but when my generation was your age, we did some pretty stupid things. I'm talking about taking CRAZY risks. We drank water right from the tap. We used aspirin bottles that you could actually open with your bare hands. We bought appliances that were not festooned with helpful safety warnings such as "DO NOT BATHE WITH THIS TOASTER." But for sheer insanity, the wildest thing we did was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Robbed, then busted. What a day.)

Hair Salon Burglary Leads to Pot Bust

BOWDON, Ga. - A burglary at a hair salon has led to charges against the salon's owner after police found more than 200 pounds of marijuana stored there.

Bowdon Police Chief Mark Brock was on routine patrol early Sunday when he came across a burglary in progress at the hair salon.

The suspects, identified as Howard Bernard Crane, 20, and Kareem Lee Evans, 33, were trying to steal the marijuana, which was being kept in a freezer chest at the salon, police said.

The salon's owner — who is also Howard Crane's sister — Erica Crane, 33, was also arrested.

West Georgia Drug Task Force Agent Mike Fritz said Howard Crane was trying to steal the drugs from his sister's shop with Evans' help.

The three have been charged with trafficking marijuana.