Americana decorations at work - pretty, huh
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Tidbits

In the last week, 3 pretty substantial earthquakes have hit California. I wonder if this is a sign telling me to leave - lol. At least I haven't felt any of them.

I am officially on vacation as of 5:30 pm today ... only 45 minutes left - woo hoo!

My Americana decorations are the talk of the building. Apparently, my art major does come in handy sometimes - lol. I am pretty crafty...always have been. It is slightly embarassing though, I admit, when people come by and gush about how creative I am. Yeah, I like the compliments, but I am modest and don't really like to own up to taking all the credit. But I do, and I probably blush when I do. I am such a dork.

I don't know what I am doing this weekend. I may go back to Yosemite, now that Tioga Road is partially open. It is supposed to rain up there this weekend though. We'll see. Even if I do stay home, there is supposed to be a cooling trend this weekend. So, we're supposed to be down in the 80's this weekend. I hope it's true! It will be great if it is.

Michael Jackson got off scott free of the charges against him. I wasn't surprised. The accuser's mother wasn't that credible. I mean, c'mon. She said that Jacko held her captive and threatened her. Does Michael Jackson look like someone who could physically hold anyone captive? You probably could blow on him and break his bones, or at the very least, tap his nose and it would fall off. He doesn't look like anyone who could threaten anyone. He is so frail and weak-looking. I figured, if OJ got off, Michael would, too. I saw an interview on tv with the DA of Santa Barbara County, Tom Sneddon, and I wasn't impressed. What a whiney bitch he is. If that is the DA, no wonder Jacko got off.

I heard that Jennifer Wilbanks, the "Runaway Bride" has made a deal for some tv project. I wonder if she'll use the money to pay back her town for the search efforts they made on her behalf. I doubt it. First she ran out on her fiance and told no one she was leaving. Then she makes up some wild story about her being abducted. Then she admits to lying about that. Then she gets sentenced to probation for lying to police. And now she is trying to capitalize on her 15 minutes of "infamy" by making some tv deal. The whole thing reeks. I have one word for it...disgusting.

And on that cheerful note, I am signing off.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, how can that be? How can you not have all day?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...woof woof)

Murphy the Dog Awaiting His Day in Court

NEWTON, Mass. - Murphy is awaiting his day in court. The question is whether court is ready for him.

Murphy is a 3-year-old golden retriever who received a summons last week to appear in Newton District Court to answer a complaint that he was walked without a leash — at least twice — and was not up to date on his dog license.

Actually, it wasn't Murphy but his owner, Steven Dean, who was supposed to get the summons.

"He can't read, so I signed it on his behalf, requesting a hearing," Dean told The MetroWest Daily News of Framingham. "I don't even know if they'll let him into the courthouse."

Newton police fined Murphy $25 for not having a leash, and $25 for not being licensed when Animal Control Officer John O'Connell stopped Murphy and his master June 3.

Court Magistrate Henry Shultz said in his 35 years at the Newton District Court, he has never heard of a dog receiving a ticket.

"I think Murphy's the first offender," he said Monday. "We've had people bring their dogs into the courthouse, but not like this."

"What are we going to do if Murphy appeals to a higher court?" he added.

New Collapse score - I rock! lol
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"One of the more embarassing strains of American thought is the liberal-humanist, touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy, New Age, environmental-friendly pseudo-wisdom that appears on bumper stickers: 'Think Globally, Act Locally,' and most embarassing, 'Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty.' You know, if kindness and beauty require public reminders, maybe it's time we just throw in the jock."

Useless Factoids About Me

You are supposed to check an "x" to whatever applies to you...so, here goes....
(some of these are a little twisted)


( ) Smoked a joint
( ) Been in a wet t-shirt contest.
( ) Crashed a car
( ) Stolen a car
(x) Been in love
( ) Had a threesome
(x) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Been fired
( ) Been in a fist fight
(x) Snuck out of the house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Made out with a stranger
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Lied to a friend
(x) Had a crush on a teacher
( ) Been to Europe
(x) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone from the internet in person
( ) Been moshing at a concert
(x) Been in an abusive relationship
(x) Taken painkillers
(x) Love someone or miss someone right now
(x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) Made a snow angel
(x) Had a tea party
(x) Flown a kite
(x) Built a sand castle
(x) Gone puddle jumping
(x) Played dress up
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) Gone sledding
(x) Cheated while playing a game
(x) Been lonely
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school
( ) Used a fake ID
(x) Watched the sun set
(x) Felt an earthquake
(x) Touched a snake
(x) Slept beneath the stars
(x) Been tickled
( ) Been robbed
(x) Been misunderstood
(x) Pet a reindeer/goat
(x) Won a contest
( ) Run a red light
( ) Been suspended from school
(x) Been in a car accident
( ) Had braces
(x) Felt like an outcast
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Had deja vu
(x) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Hated the way you look
(x) Witnessed a crime
( ) Pole danced
(x) Been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) Walked barefoot through the mud
(x) Been lost
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
( ) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) Sung karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls when you were younger
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced naked in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Had a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
( ) Gone rollerblading
(x) Had a wish come true
( ) Worn pearls
( ) Jumped off a bridge
(x) Screamed the word penis in public
(x) Ate dog/cat food
( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) Kissed a mirror
(x) Sang in the shower
( ) Owned a little black dress
(x) Had a dream that you married someone
(x) Glued your hand to something
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) Kissed a fish
(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes
( ) Been a cheerleader
(x) Sat on a roof top
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) Done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) Stayed up all night
( ) Didn't take a shower for a week
(x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) Climbed a tree
(x) Had a tree house
(x) Are (NOT) scared to watch scary movies
(x) Believe in ghosts
( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) Gone streaking
(x) Played chicken
( ) Been skinny dipping
(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(x) Been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger
(x) Broken a bone
(x) Been easily amused
(x) Caught a fish then ate it
(x) Caught a butterfly
(x) Laughed so hard you cried
(x) Cried so hard you laughed
(x) Mooned/flashed someone
(x) Had someone moon/flash you
(x) Cheated on a test
(x) Forgotten someone's name.
(x) Slept naked
(x) French braided someone's hair
( ) Grown a beard

Fake News Story of The Week

brought to you by me, your faithful "reporter"...

China's first "All-Chocolate" Fashion Show debuted in June 2005. The fashions were made entirely out of chocolate. At first, the show seemed to be a wild success. However, the show ended in chaos after the chocolate began to melt under the heat of the lights. The models, hungered by the smell of the chocolate, began to eat their "clothes" and soon, all the models were naked and covered in gooey melted chocolate. When questioned by press after the show, the designer, Gim Me Sum Sweets, said he would not use chocolate to design his fashions in the future. He, instead, will look to other candies, including licorice, jelly beans, and other "unmeltable" sweets.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(All I can say is, Yuck!)

Teen Charged After Vomiting on Teacher

OLATHE, Kan. - A high school student who vomited on his Spanish teacher has been charged with battery against a school official. The misdemeanor charge was filed Monday against the Olathe Northwest High School student.

The 17-year-old boy was charged as a juvenile and his name was not released.
Rick Guinn, an assistant district attorney, said witnesses can corroborate that the boy intentionally vomited on teacher David Young.

If convicted, the boy likely would face probation, Guinn said. Prosecutors also are seeking an apology.

"I think a message is being sent by both the school district and the district attorney that this behavior will not be tolerated," Young said.

The student's father said his son told him he did not mean to throw up on the teacher but had been made uncontrollably ill by the stress of final exams.

The father said the district expelled his son and recommended he enroll in an alternative school in the fall.

Damn, it's hot!

It's hot here in Bakersfield. It is 8:15 pm and it is still 95 degrees outside. It hit 100 today, much to my dismay. So, now I sit here with the AC on, knowing that it is just the beginning of a long, hot summer. This is not good news.

Just a few more days til my vacation. I am happy about that :) Just knowing that I will have a full 10 days off without having to get up early, get dressed and go to work is great! Too bad it is only 10 days - lol.

I have been busy at work putting together our 4th of July decorations. It is my task to decorate our unit for this Americana competition that our department has going on. At first, I was excited about it. I love to decorate, so it is right up my alley. But it is a lot of work! I have gone through 2 rolls of tape already and I am not even done. It sucks, because I only have 1 1/2 more days to finish, since I have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon and we are off on Friday. I hope I can finish in time.

My apartment is finally cooling off a bit. It is so hot. I hate it when it gets this hot! Autumn, hurry up and get here!

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Honk if you're stupid)

Calif. Cops Crack Down on Peace Honking

TIBURON, Calif. - Protesters are locking horns with police in pacifist-packed Marin County for fining drivers who honk for peace. Officers have been pulling over motorists who honk as they drive by a weekly peace demonstration. Protesters say police are squelching freedom of expression.

"We have been picketing for a long time. All of a sudden the police are out there trying to stop the honks," said peacenik Melvin Fiske, a corporal in the Marines during World War II. "We assume honking is as American as (apple) pie. If people want to applaud our actions it is their right to do that."

Tiburon police Capt. Dave Hutton said excessive honking is an "unlawful use of horn" and officers are simply doing their job.

So far, officers have issued three citations and nine warnings.

Five to 10 protesters typically participate in the hourlong Friday peace vigils.

Protester William Rothman said about four weeks ago police began "lying in wait" for motorists. As soon as a driver honked, police pulled the car over.

One neighbor who lives near the protest site said the honking "annoys the hell out of me."

**I would have to agree with the last guy...I hate it when people honk for sh*t like that. What's honking got to do with peace anyway? Honking is usually something you do when you are mad at another driver. Honking for peace doesn't really make sense if you stop to think about it.

Funny Retro Signs

I saw these signs while searching for Americana stuff for my work project ...

(This was the most popular spot in town)
(Yes, why? hehe)

(come here for a quickie)

(no comment necessary ...wink wink)

I wonder if the people who made these signs realized how bad these sounded after they went back and read them - lol

Stupid News Stories of The Day

(Seems like people will protest anything these days just to get naked)

Cyclists Ride Naked in London Protest

LONDON - Hundreds of naked cyclists rode past Big Ben and the U.S. Embassy in London on Saturday to protest the West's dependence on gas-guzzling cars — and to push for more use of bicycles.

The organizers of World Naked Bike Ride 2005 said protests were expected in a number of countries, including Australia, Canada, the United States, Ireland, Italy, Latvia and Israel.

In London, crowds watched about 100 cyclists leave Hyde Park Corner on a journey that took them past some of the capital's most famous landmarks.

Most of the riders stripped naked for the six-mile ride past Piccadilly Circus, Big Ben, Covent Garden, Oxford Street and the U.S. Embassy.

Some bikes carried banners reading, "Oil is not a bare necessity but a crude obsession" and "Support the trade justice movement."

"It's a protest against oil dependency and car culture and the overuse of cars for unnecessary reasons," said one of the organizers, Chad Neilson, 24, from north London.

"There is too much pollution. It stinks in London, and we use too much fossil fuel."

In the Spanish capital, Madrid, dozens of nude cyclists pedaled along major thoroughfares past famous landmarks, drawing surprised looks.

Most were men, naked except for shoes and helmets, or caps to fend off the hot Spanish sun.

"What we clearly want to show is that we feel naked against the traffic," said one organizer who gave only his first name, Javier. "Every day we have to put up with the traffic, the aggression of the drivers, their speed and bad manners."

(seems like Spain jumped in on the naked band wagon too)

Naked cyclists seek to reclaim Spanish streets

MADRID (AFP) - Naked save for their regulation crash helmets, a group of militant cyclists held anti-car protests in several Spanish cities, calling for "more human and liveable cities," less pollution and more room for pedestrians and bicycles.

The initiative, launched by a group calling itself the Aragon cyclonudists, took place in the capital Madrid and in Zaragoza, Pamplona, Barcelona and Huesca.

Slogans included "Naked against the traffic: This city is mine."

"We propose a type of city in which residents retake possession of their own outdoor spaces, where less travel is needed and in which the emphasis is on pedestrians and less polluting forms of transport," the organizers said in a statement.