No! For the last time...I don't wanna spend the night at your house!
or
Who is this strange white woman and what does she want?
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Caption This!
No! For the last time...I don't wanna spend the night at your house!
or
Who is this strange white woman and what does she want?
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"At the present time, the Giant Lava Lamp does not, if you want to get highly technical, exist. But there's an impressive artist's rendering of it on their website. You can print this out and display it when you get to Soap Lake. 'Look kids!'you can say. 'Someday this will...Kids? Kids?' Ha ha! Turns out your kids escaped the car at a gas stop back in South Dakota and hitchhiked home. They're probably laughing at you right now. The little rascals! We'll see how hard they laugh when they find out you spent their college money on gas."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Maybe he should have just gone bungee jumping instead.)
Naked man takes 'risk', gets shot at
ANN ARBOR, Mich. - A marriage-minded man ran naked through his neighborhood, trying to show his hesitant girlfriend that taking risks is important. He got more than he bargained for when he ended up being chased and shot at.
"Just when you thought you had heard everything," Ann Arbor police Detective Sgt. Jim Stephenson told The Ann Arbor News.
The couple were discussing marriage early Wednesday when the woman said she wasn't sure if she was ready, according to Ann Arbor police reports. The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.
Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.
The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.
A resident called police, who arrested the gunman on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon. He was taken to the Washtenaw County jail but released following further investigation, police Sgt. Patrick Hughes told The Associated Press.
The naked man was not arrested and didn't want to pursue charges, Hughes said.
___
Information from: The Ann Arbor News, http://www.mlive.com/aanews
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Just how gross am I?
| You Are 40% Gross |
 You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person. No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak. |
Stop murmuring - I can't hear you
Well, I just got back from the rheumatologist. Big fun. At least they didn't have to take my blood this time. Yes, I escaped the needle. I knew that my last blood test was gonna yield some unfavorable results. I was in a lot of pain that day and my inflammation level was at 60 (normal is 10-20), so it was pretty high. I am taking this new anti-inflammatory drug and hopefully that will make a difference. It seems to have brought the pain down to a bearable level so far. I just hope it continues to work and not sputter out like Celebrex and Bextra did. The big thing that has been plaguing me for years now is the lack of a decent night's sleep. The doctor says it is very important to get 6-8 hours of restful sleep per night. I don't think I have had that in a long time. Sure, I go to bed with the intentions of getting at least 6 hours of sleep, but I never stay asleep to get the full 6 hours. Could that be what is making me feel so icky? Very likely. Not only does a lack of sleep lead to fatigue, but it can also contribute to depression, which is something I have been battling lately. Maybe once I get the whole sleep thing fixed, it will fix the rest of me, too.
The thing that is worrying me now (as if I need MORE to worry about), is that this time the doctor said she heard a heart murmur, which is something she has never heard before. I hope that it was just her hearing or maybe that her stethescope was messed up or something. But why did she have to say that out loud? UGH! That is just not cool. Now I am gonna be all paranoid - lol. Damned doctors. UGHH! I have to go back on July 26th. I hope next time she says all is well and that her stethescope was just bad - lol.
Oh me and my weirdness. We make quite a pair - lol.
The thing that is worrying me now (as if I need MORE to worry about), is that this time the doctor said she heard a heart murmur, which is something she has never heard before. I hope that it was just her hearing or maybe that her stethescope was messed up or something. But why did she have to say that out loud? UGH! That is just not cool. Now I am gonna be all paranoid - lol. Damned doctors. UGHH! I have to go back on July 26th. I hope next time she says all is well and that her stethescope was just bad - lol.
Oh me and my weirdness. We make quite a pair - lol.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"According to a recent Associated Press story, guests at a Serbian wedding actually shot down a plane. The AP states that 'Shootings and fatalities are frequent at Serbian weddings because of the centuries-long tradition of blasting away with firearms in celebration.' Now, I have been to some exuberant wedding receptions, including one where a good friend of mine - whom, out of respect for his privacy, I will identify him here only as 'Joseph DiGiacinto, 235 Main Street, White Plains, NY 10601' - waded into a large fountain and attempted to overthrow, via hand-to-hand combat, a religious statue. But as an expression of joy at the union of a man and a woman, this pales in comparison with shooting down aircraft."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Shoulda left the dog at home.)
Suspect's dog bites him in police chase
CEDAR CITY, Utah - A police pursuit ended when the suspect's dog, not happy about being bounced around in the car, bit its owner on the face.
Iron County sheriff's officers approached Nicholas T. Galanis, 47, of Salt Lake City to talk to him about some stolen property.
Galanis got in his car and fled with his dog.
The chase went southbound on Gold Springs Road, a windy, bumpy dirt road about five miles northwest of Modena, at around 5:38 p.m. Monday, said sheriff's detective Jody Edwards.
"Deputies could see the dog in the passenger seat getting slammed into the window," he said.
The dog, which is partly pit bull, "became so agitated that he bit his owner in the face," Edwards said. "And this is what ended the chase."
The bite removed part of Galanis' nose and he stopped.
Galanis was taken to Valley View Medical Center before being booked into Iron County Jail.
His dog was taken to the Enoch Animal Shelter.
Galanis was held for investigation of supplying false information to police, receiving/possession of stolen property and theft.
___
Information from: The Spectrum, http://www.thespectrum.com
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Before I forget....
I was watching the movie "The Day The Earth Stood Still" (great movie by the way), and recognized a phrase toward the end of the movie...."Klaatu barada nikto," which was said to the robot, Gort, to stop him from destroying the world. Yes, those were the words uttered by Ash in "Army of Darkness," which he forgets and says wrong (saying "necktie" instead of "nikto") and a whole sh*tload of bad stuff ensues. I thought it was funny, so I looked it up. Turns out, those words were used many times in other movies, too... check it out:
(from Wikipedia.com)
In the film Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, three of Jabba the Hutt's skiff guards are named Klaatu, Barada, and Nikto, and Barada's species is Klatoonian.
In the play The Foreigner, by Larry Shue, Charlie speaks the phrase when talking about editing a sci-fi magazine.
1984: in the computer game Robot Odyssey this phrase appears upon solving one of the puzzles, that disables a sentry robot.
1986: In the movie Chopping Mall one of the teenagers uses this phrase when queried by the security robot for his id.
In an episode of The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers (1986), "Klaatu Nikto Barada" is a greeting used by the freedom fighters of Wolcab.
1989: in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series episode Invasion of the Turtle Snatchers, a family of three aliens encountered by Donatello and Rocksteady are named Klaatu, Barada and Nikto. Klaatu is the father, Barada is the mother and Nikto is the little boy. In this version, Klaatu, Barada and Nikto come from a planet orbiting the star Antares.
There's more, too. Go HERE to see.
Just something that I found interesting, that nobody else probably will - lol.
(from Wikipedia.com)
In the film Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, three of Jabba the Hutt's skiff guards are named Klaatu, Barada, and Nikto, and Barada's species is Klatoonian.
In the play The Foreigner, by Larry Shue, Charlie speaks the phrase when talking about editing a sci-fi magazine.
1984: in the computer game Robot Odyssey this phrase appears upon solving one of the puzzles, that disables a sentry robot.
1986: In the movie Chopping Mall one of the teenagers uses this phrase when queried by the security robot for his id.
In an episode of The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers (1986), "Klaatu Nikto Barada" is a greeting used by the freedom fighters of Wolcab.
1989: in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series episode Invasion of the Turtle Snatchers, a family of three aliens encountered by Donatello and Rocksteady are named Klaatu, Barada and Nikto. Klaatu is the father, Barada is the mother and Nikto is the little boy. In this version, Klaatu, Barada and Nikto come from a planet orbiting the star Antares.
There's more, too. Go HERE to see.
Just something that I found interesting, that nobody else probably will - lol.
Nasty, blood-sucking beeeyaches!
I have a problem. I think there is a mosquito in my apartment because I woke up this morning with 2 bites...one on my knuckle and another on my hip, and holy hell do they itch like a beeeeyach! I already had one near my neck, so now I have 3. Grrrr! My new goal is to find that skeeter and smash the hell out of it. Teach that bitch to drink my blood! HA!
Today it's only supposed to get to 82 degrees. It was sooooo nice last night that I left my windows open all night (maybe that's how the skeeter got in - wonder if there's holes in my window screen - hmmmmm). It is so nice outside right now, too, but I am cooped up indoors in this building where it gets so cold that I have to put on my jacket. Of course, by this weekend it is supposed to be right back up to the high 90's again. Makes me wanna go camping again - hehe.
Today it's only supposed to get to 82 degrees. It was sooooo nice last night that I left my windows open all night (maybe that's how the skeeter got in - wonder if there's holes in my window screen - hmmmmm). It is so nice outside right now, too, but I am cooped up indoors in this building where it gets so cold that I have to put on my jacket. Of course, by this weekend it is supposed to be right back up to the high 90's again. Makes me wanna go camping again - hehe.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"Leave Iowa and aim your car toward the state of Washington. Your route will take you through the West, giving you a chance to point out its majestic natural wonders ('Look, kids! MORE dirt!'). Your destination is the town of Soap Lake, Washington, home of the World's Largest Lava Lamp project. We are not making this up. Some Soap Lake promoters plan to build a sixty-foot-high working lava lamp, for reasons that remain unclear to us no matter how many times we read the official website, www.GiantLavaLamp.com (if you go there, be sure to listen to the official Giant Lava Lamp song)."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(...this bed is just right.)
Wyoming woman finds strange man in bed
SHERIDAN, Wyo. - A woman woke up over the weekend to find a man she didn't know climbing into her bed, according to police.
Eva Olson, 40, said she felt her bed move and heard the man say he wanted to talk to her, according to police.
Olson didn't know William O'Dell, 48, of Sheridan, but O'Dell allegedly told police he knew Olson because she was a bartender. He allegedly said he'd stopped by her house to visit.
Olson asked O'Dell to leave, then showed him out the door without incident.
Police said they found O'Dell at his home, smelling heavily of alcohol. He was jailed and charged with criminal entry.
___
Information from: The Sheridan Press, http://www.thesheridanpress.com
Monday, June 12, 2006
Caption This!
Look. I said it before, and I am gonna say it again.
KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF OF MY NUTS!
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"There are no wedding magazines for grooms, of course. The groom's sole wedding responsibility is to arrive at the ceremony wearing pants and not actively throwing up. Everything else is up to the bride, who must make thousands of critical wedding decisions, such as: Should she invite all her relatives, or just the attractive ones? Where should the guests sit? Should they shoot firearms into the air? On that last question, my advice is: No. I base this on as Associated Press story concerning a wedding in Serbia, which, as you are no doubt aware, is a country located somewhere. The AP story, which I swear I am not making up, begins as follows: 'In an apparent first, wedding guests shooting off celebratory rounds in central Serbia brought down a small aircraft, local media reported Sunday."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(The things people will do for a little attention.)
Woman cited for exposing herself in store
CEDAR CITY, Utah - A 28-year-old woman has been cited for lewdness for exposing herself inside a store. The woman was riding a motorized cart inside Lin's Market Place on Thursday with her pants around her ankles and not wearing underwear.
Customers didn't notice the woman until she would stand up from the cart and bend over to look at items on the shelf, exposing her buttocks.
The woman told police she arrived in Cedar City with a circus but was left behind.
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