Thursday, January 11, 2007

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans."

Phobia of The Day

Onomatophobia: Fear of hearing a certain word or of names

Random Fact of The Day

Stannous fluoride, which is the cavity fighter found in toothpaste is made from recycled tin.

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Make the police's job easier - be stupid!)


Burglary suspect picks bad hiding place


SYRACUSE, N.Y. - Brian Valentino sure picked the wrong hiding place to elude police. The 33-year-old burglary suspect was being transported yesterday to the Onondaga County jail in Syracuse when he kicked out a back window of the police car and dove headfirst through the opening.

Still handcuffed, Valentino ran a short distance and ducked into a building, where he ran down a hallway and hid behind a door.

There was one problem. His hiding spot was inside the headquarters of the county sheriff's office. Apparently, Valentino didn't notice the big yellow star on the entrance.

A retired deputy working part time in the building noticed the snow-covered, handcuffed man dash into the lobby. He followed him down the hall and held onto Valentino until the officer he escaped from arrived on the scene.

Valentino now faces additional charges for the escape attempt.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I am sooooooo pissed!!!!!!

I feel like computers are just against me these days. First, there was the mess with the computers at work on Monday. Then, today, then the program we use to complete our cases crashes on my computer today - not everyone's, just mine and a few other unlucky people's computers. After restarting twice, the thing finally came back up. But that was just the beginning. About 2:30 pm today, EVERYONE's SAWS system went offline. And it was offline til 5:30 when we went home today. I am not even sure if it will be back up and running tomorrow morning when I go to work. UGH! I just know my clients will be calling me wondering when their cases will be done - good lord. Sometimes computers are more trouble than they are worth.

Oh, but my computer problems didn't end at work. Nooooooo. They followed me home, too. My computer is being a butthead. I can't get my E drive to work. GRRRRRRRRRR. That is where I have all my photos and scrapbooking stuff stored. I will be beyond pissed if I can't get it back up and running. I am so ready to just take the damned thing and throw it out the window. But I won't. I am sure that won't get it up and running. I am soooooooooooo ...... infuriated! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I have been messing with this damned computer for hours now...restarting and shutting down and this and that, trying, in vain, to make it work.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Kiss my ass, E drive.....kiss my ass!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"What about these cretins at the airport gift shop who think somehow they're in the Mall of America? It's an airport! I'm standin' there with one newspaper and a pack of gum; I gotta get to my plane. Why does the genetic defective ahead of me choose this moment to purchase a complete set of dishes and a new fall wardrobe? What is this, fuckin' Macy's?"

Phobia of The Day

Nucleomituphobia: fear of nuclear weapons

Random Fact of The Day

Until 1834, it was illegal for any soldier of the U.S. Army to carry the American flag into battle.

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Oops! My bad.)

Police: Teen seeking kiss rams wrong car


BAY CITY, Mich. - A lovers' quarrel and a case of mistaken identity has landed a teenager behind bars after police say he repeatedly rammed a teenage girl's car, thinking it was his girlfriend.

State police told The Saginaw News that the victim — a 17-year-old from Pinconning — called 911 early Sunday when the suspect smashed his car into the rear of hers.

The 17-year-old suspect struck her car about 15 times and pushed it through stop signs at intersections, the victim told police.

Dispatchers advised her to lead the suspect toward police units who were en route to intercept them, police said.

State police troopers and Bay County sheriff's deputies caught up with the suspect and pursued the Bay City teen at speeds of up to 90 miles per hour, police said.

The teen told police he thought the driver was his girlfriend, who left a party after the couple quarreled. He said he wanted to talk to her and get his goodnight kiss, so he went searching for her, police said.

He told police he was talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone, telling her to stop her car. She told him she was stopped and didn't know what he was talking about, officers said.

The teen likely will face charges including assault with a vehicle, fleeing police and drunk driving.

___

Information from: The Saginaw News, http://www.mlive.com

Monday, January 08, 2007

Sesame Street!

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!



You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you



You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil



How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

Sometimes I wish I was invisible...oh yeah....I already am!

I hate it when a client comes in with an emergency just a few hours before we close. UGH! That has happened to me the last 3 working days...Wednesday, Thursday and today. Today was the worst though. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for 3 pm, which meant that I had to leave by 2:45 at the latest to get there by 3:00. Well, one of my clients comes in at 2:05 and tells me that she has an emergency and needs to get her case granted today so she can get her prescription. Well, this entails of course entering the pending information, running the case, making case comments, turning it in to the supervisor to approve.THEN you have to do an online transaction request and email it to another department and then wait for it to get inputted into that system so you can print her out a temporary medical card. Well, this was all entirely possible for me to accomplish by 2:45 - I am fast! - lol (except for the waiting part - that I left up to the supervisor to do - hehe). But - BUT - NOOOOOOOOO. It was after I had run the case that our computer system decides to up and quit on me - well, on everyone in the building, but it felt like it was targetting me personally! lol - So that left the case is sitting in limbo....but the time kept on ticking. Finally, the damned computer system comes back up and I was able to get the thing done. With no time to spare. I barely made it to my appointment on time. No pressure there.....NONE - HA! I swear my blood pressure must have been sky high by that point. I was so pissed at the computer today. I was really ready to kick it! But I didn't. Somehow I think the IT department would have frowned on that.

Well after that ordeal, I had another one to contend with. I really REALLY am absolutely convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am either invisible or completely forgettable. Because when I got to the doctor's office, the receptionist told me I was not on the schedule. GRRRR. She then proceeded to tell me that if I indeed did have an appointment, they would have called to remind me, something they "always" do. (that statement is complete horse doo-doo because there have been several occasions where they hadn't called me....but I digress). Seems funny cuz if I hadn't showed up to my appointment, they would have surely billed me for a missed appointment. She then tells me that they hadn't gotten my referral (HMO's suck ass - GRRRR - but I digress again). So she tells me to have a seat and wait. Then she tells me that my referral , SURPRISE, is actually there and that she can "fit me in." I had a freakin' card with the appointment time and date on it, yet I wasn't on the schedule - INVISIBLE I tell you!!!! Invisible!!!!

So, after about an hour, I was finally seen. Being that my knee hasn't improved any, the doctor gave me a cortisone shot in my knee. It was surprisingly painless .... at first. The initial shot didn't hurt at all. But now.....oh lord. My knee is throbbing. Ouch. I am sitting here with a heating pad on it, debating if I should take an ultracet or not. Shots suck ass! But I hope it makes the damned thing feel better. It has been killing me for months now.

After the appointment, I went out to the reception desk to make my next appointment. The lady told me that she had overheard what happened to me this time and wanted to assure me that I was, in fact, in the computer.

I will believe it when I see it - lol.

I am so cynical.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

Phobia of The Day

Hoplophobia: fear of firearms

Example: Jeff can't watch the news because of his hoplophobia.

Random Fact of The Day

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Stupid News Story of The Day



(What is it with Tigger these days?)

Father: Costumed 'Tigger' hit my son


ORLANDO, Fla. - A Walt Disney World employee dressed as the character "Tigger" was accused of hitting a child while posing for a photo, a spokeswoman for the theme park said Saturday.

Park officials temporarily suspended Michael J. Fedelem while they investigate the accusations, Disney spokeswoman Zoraya Suarez said.

"Naturally, physical altercations between cast members and guests are not tolerated," Suarez said.

Jerry Monaco of New Hampshire videotaped his son, Jerry Jr., posing with the costumed character at Disney-MGM Studios on Friday and recorded the confrontation, according to a statement from the Orange County Sheriff's Office.

The father said Fedelem intentionally hit his son "on or about the head," said sheriff's spokesman Carlos M. Padilla. "The tape only shows a fraction of what happened. Now it's up to us to find out what led up to that."

A message left by The Associated Press for Monaco was not immediately returned. A telephone listing for Fedelem could not be located.

In 2004 a Walt Disney World employee dressed as Tigger was accused of touching the breast of a 13-year-old girl while she posed with him for a photo. A jury found the man not guilty.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Haven't we gone far enough with colored ribbons for different causes? Every cause has its own color. Red for AIDS, blue for child abuse, pink for breast cancer, green for the rain forest. I've got a brown one. You know what it means? 'Eat shit, motherf*cker!"

Phobia of The Day

Peccatophobia: fear of sinning.

Example: Because of his peccatophobia, Larry spends 5 hours a day praying.

Random Fact of The Day

About 1 in 30 people in the U.S. are in jail, on probation, or on parole.

Stupid News Story of The Day



(Keep on keeping on.)

Caltech's suffering ends with victory
By KEN PETERS, AP Sports Writer


PASADENA, Calif. - Nobody understands the laws of probability better than the cerebral players at Caltech. The Beavers finally won — their first NCAA basketball victory since 1996.

However, here's another hard number: They still have a string of conference defeats dating back almost 22 years.

Coach Roy Dow and his squad of brainy — as opposed to brawny — Beavers beat Bard College of New York 81-52 on Saturday night, ending a mathematically improbable run of 207 consecutive NCAA Division III losses.

"It was a combination of a sense of relief and happiness for the kids. They were euphoric," said Dow, in his fifth season as the coach.

Travis Haussler had 27 points and eight rebounds, and Matt Dellatorre added 24 points and eight rebounds in the romp over Bard.

"We expected to win a game, but not like this," Dow said, a bit astounded at the surprisingly easy victory.

The win also was Caltech's first in 60 games overall, including non-NCAA foes.

With a 1-207 record in their last 208 NCAA contests, the Beavers next hope to end an even longer losing streak, 245 consecutive defeats in Southern California Intercollegiate Athletic Conference play going back almost 22 years. They haven't begun league play yet this season.

"We still have to get that other streak," Dow said. "It will be difficult. We lost a lot of players from last year's team."

The California Institute of Technology, which has a student body of some 850, is renowned for its programs in science and math, and for being lovable losers in its athletic programs.

Albert Einstein lectured at Caltech, Linus Pauling was a professor and 31 Nobel Prize winners either have taught or studied on the small campus in suburban Los Angeles. The school has extremely high admission standards and puts arduous academic demands on the students.

So while the school attracts some of the nation's best and brightest, it doesn't necessarily draw the athletically gifted. Like all Division III schools, Caltech doesn't give athletic scholarships, and many of Dow's players didn't so much as play varsity basketball in high school.

Among the handful of fans at the game Saturday night were the school's new president, Jean-Lou Chameau and his wife, Carol Carmichael, who had arrived from Singapore just a couple of hours before tipoff.

"They were the first ones who came across the floor and extended congratulations," Dow said with obvious pride.

you, sir, are a LOSER

Alicia IM'd me last night saying that she was the biggest loser in the world. Well, I beg to differ, my friend. I believe that I, Kimberly L Perkins, am, in fact, the biggest loser, not only in this world, but in any other world that may or may not exist in the universe. And just to prove this, here is a small list of things I have done to prove that.

1) I have burned Jell-O.

2) I stay home almost every Friday night. Saturdays too.

3) I have walked into a wall.

4) I have tripped over my own feet.

5) I have fallen down my stairs.

6) I stayed at home all day yesterday...in my pj's.

7) I actually LIKE going to work (well, most of the time)

8) I stayed in bed today til 11 am.

9) I have been "forgotten" on several occasions (for example - and Alicia will remember this one - I was waiting at the service desk at Marshalls for Alicia to pick me up to take the deposit to the bank, and she drove out the parking lot and onto Ming Ave ... without me! It took her several minutes to realize that I wasn't in the car with her - LOL!!) - My brother also left me in the parking lot in Las Vegas, thinking I was in the car - seems I am invisible!

10) I am actually arguing that I am the biggest loser in the world.

#10 alone should prove my point.

Terror Alert
Level

Click to Email me

(click on the envelope to email me)

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

online

well, have you?

pretty please?

Template Design By: Free Blogger Skins Blog Template modified using cu products by the following designers: Pixels and Ice Cream, Ashalee Wall, Bannerwoman, Chris Scrap, Kimb's Designs, Delicious Scraps, Cindy Doerksen, ACM Designz, Lolotte, Scrappin Cop, Julia Fialho, Thaty Borges, DigiWeb Studio, Teresa Taylor, TMS, One Scrappy Mom, Mitia Assef, Mercas Designs, DigiDesign Resort. Thanks!

Powered by Blogger