wow - what a deal - only $999 !!!! I think someone forgot the decimal point - hehe - either that, or these are some REAL good chili dogs!
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Why all this uproar when one of these dumb swimmers gets attacked by a shark? Don't people understand the ocean is the shark's domain? What is some human doing in the water in the first place? He's a land animal and probably had a nice house somewhere, with a swimming pool out back."

Stupid News Stories of the Day

(Yes, there are 2 this time...you'll see why...looks like these places need new editors!)

(Oops! My bad.)

Woman's Possessions Taken After Ad Error

LAWRENCE, Kan. - Kris Bryan couldn't believe it when she came home and realized strangers were taking away her stuff — including her 7-week-old kitten. A legal notice in the Lawrence Journal-World for unclaimed property mistakenly listed Bryan's address. The notice said the items would be thrown out if they weren't picked up from the apartment.

"I was freaking out," said Bryan, 22. "I told them, 'That's my apartment — there's been some mistake.'"

Sgt. Dan Ward, a spokesman for the Lawrence Police Department, said Bryan confronted the people at her home, who showed her the Journal-World ad. They returned the items they had taken, but others had already made off with an estimated $3,300 worth of possessions — everything from a TV and a DVD player to video games and Bryan's kitten.

Ward said it was unclear how people got into Bryan's home. There were no signs of forced entry and Bryan told authorities she believed her door was locked.

Police are still trying to find her possessions. Despite the ad's confusion, those who took them could also face charges.

"Just that ad in the newspaper doesn't give someone permission to go in and take items," Bryan said.

The Journal-World's chief operating officer, Ralph Gage, said Thursday that the matter has been settled, but would not elaborate on the terms.

"We made a mistake in a legal ad," he said. "It's totally settled to the satisfaction of all parties."


..... and in somewhat related news.....

Misprint Swamps Woman With Medicaid Calls

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. - A businesswoman in faraway Montana was swamped with anguished calls after a letter informing 339,000 Medicaid recipients of service cuts wrongly listed her phone number for a help line for the hearing impaired.

The letters mailed Monday already have resulted in hundreds of calls to Sharon Rivera, who lives in Columbia Falls, Mont. — more than 1,200 miles northwest of Missouri's capital.

The Missouri Department of Social Services acknowledged the error Thursday. The two-page letter had correct help line numbers for voice calling but used Rivera's number, one digit away from the correct one, for calls from telephones used by the hearing or speech impaired.

Many of the callers are older — some are weeping, others cursing — and don't understand when she tries to explain the mistake, Rivera said. Instead of hanging up on them, she has been listening.

"This has been a nightmare for me. ... My phone rings constantly," Rivera said in a telephone interview. "And I honestly am feeling very, very sad for the people who call."

At the urging of Gov. Matt Blunt, the GOP-led Legislature this year eliminated Medicaid health care coverage for about 90,000 of Missouri's 1 million Medicaid recipients. It cut services such as dental care, eyeglasses and crutches for an additional 339,000 adults remaining on Medicaid, and imposed new co-payments ranging from 50 cents to $10.

Officials in the Division of Medical Service are weighing how to notify the Medicaid recipients of the mistake. The first round of letters cost the state about $80,000, spokeswoman Deborah Scott said. The state also plans to reimburse Rivera for the calls to her toll-free number and for her time.

"She's been very gracious," not only to the callers but to state officials, Scott added.

Rivera runs a home-based business, Hawkstone Productions, that books concerts and sells music for Jack Gladstone, an Indian singer, songwriter, lecturer and storyteller.


all stories taken from Odd News on Yahoo

Kim's Law #4

When I am driving home from work and REALLY have to pee... and I mean BAD... I will get stuck behind the slowest driver in the world.

Random Thoughts

Today was a busy, busy day! Reminded me of the good ole days at work when I was seeing 5 clients a day. I saw 4 clients today, and all before noon. Crazy! It did make the day go by faster at least.

It is 99 degrees outside. Ugh. I don't even remember the last time Bakersfield had a day when the high was lower than 100 degrees. I can't wait for the summer to be OVER!

I wonder who it was who made up the term "blow job." It doesn't involve blowing at all, and it is not really a JOB. I think they should rename the whole term to "suck party." It sounds more accurate.

Yeah, I have a very twisted mind. I admit it.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if two planes almost collide it's a near miss. Nope, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Did he really think his wife wasn't gonna call the cops?)

Cops: Man Invents Story to Make Wife Leave

OCALA, Fla. - A man made up a story about killing a hitchhiker and burying the body in the woods in an effort to persuade his wife to leave him, authorities said.

Teddy Claire Akin, 28, of Ocala, was charged Tuesday with making a false report and petit theft. He was being held without bail.

Akin's wife, Felicia, called the Marion County Sheriff's Office Monday to report that her husband had told her that he killed a hitchhiker, authorities said.

Akin told investigators he had picked up the hitchhiker, who wanted a ride to Tampa. He said he hit the man in the neck, causing him to gasp and make a gurgling sound, when the two got into an argument over how far Akin would drive him, authorities said.

Akin said he dumped the body in a forest near a gun range and kept the man's wallet, which contained the license of Utah resident Dennis Legrande Allen, authorities said.

Deputies searching the area Akin described with dogs and an air unit failed to find a body Monday evening, Capt. Thomas Bibb said.

Akin eventually told investigators that he was going through a divorce and had hoped the murder story would make his wife leave him, said Sue Livoti, a sheriff's office spokeswoman.

"It seems he wanted to get a little attention and sympathy from his wife," Bibb said.

Akin told investigators he found the wallet on top of a newspaper stand. Investigators reached Allen in Utah by phone; Allen said he did not know Akin.

The sheriff's office would probably bill Akin for the cost of their seven-hour search, Bibb said.

"This was something that cost us a lot of time and energy," Bibb said.

A message left early Wednesday at the county public defender's office was not immediately returned.

I'm Too Much

Don't you hate it when you get a song stuck in your head? Don't you hate it even more when it's a stupid song? I have had this stupid song stuck in my head for days now. Do you know who the Heat Miser is? He is that Don King-hairdo'd dude in A Year Without a Santa Claus movie. I know...why oh why is that song stuck in my head? The only reasonable excuse I could possibly have is that it is so dang hot outside all the time, that I have become delirious. For those of you who have NO idea what the heck I am talking about, here is a visual to help you out...

Click Me!

You can click on the link and hear the song I am talking about. (be patient - it may take a minute depending on your connection speed). Maybe then, you too, will be infected with the Miser Funk. Oh, I even put the lyrics on here so you can sing along. I am so evil. hehe

The Heat Miser Song

I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much!

Thank you!
I never want to go a day
That's under sixty degrees
I'd rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!

(spoken)
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it
REALLY hot! Hee hee!

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
(Sing it!)
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
Too Much!

Kim's Law #3

If I am standing in line at the grocery store and I see another line that looks like it is going faster, I will go stand in that line, only to have it move slower than all the other lines.

It's a Dirty Job...

...And I am glad I don't have to do it! I saw an episode of The Discovery Channel's new show called Dirty Jobs, and I almost lost my lunch. This guy named Mike Rowe goes around with various workers who have "dirty jobs," such as a sewer worker, roadkill cleaner, etc and works along with them. Last nite, I was "treated" to an episode where Mike goes along with a sewer worker. Just the sight of all that crap was alone enough to make me wanna puke, but I can only imagine what the smell must have been like. It is times like this when I am SO glad I have a nice office job. I could not handle that, and I am not afraid to admit it. God bless "dirty job" workers everywhere! I have a newfound respect for all of them.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I don't like funerals. When I die, I don't want a funeral, because I'm sure of one thing: If I don't like other people's funerals, I'm going to hate my own."

Stupid News Story of The Day

(They were on the Senior Plan)

Woman Allegedly Sells Favors to Elderly

NEW CASTLE, Pa. - Police charged a 19-year-old woman with selling sexual favors to two elderly men for $4 and $6 each. Stacy L. Kendall, 71-year-old William R. Claypool and 83-year-old Carmen A. Nocera were arrested just outside New Castle on Friday.

Claypool paid Kendall $4 for a sexual favor and Nocera paid $6, police said.
Shenango Township police Chief Allan Nocera said the arrests occurred during a police sweep of an area where residents recently had complained of drugs, sex trafficking and gunfire.

Police on Monday filed misdemeanor charges of prostitution and solicitation against all three defendants.

Kendall and Claypool didn't answer repeated calls to their homes. Carmen Nocera didn't immediately return a message left at his home.

My little "neice" Alana - isn't she cute!?
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I posted more pics of her here on her weblog :)

My best friend's baby announcement :)
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Say "cheese" Squeakers :D
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Squeakers playing in her ball
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It's Tuesday today

I have to keep reminding myself that it is Tuesday. I woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday. Wishful thinking on my part, I guess. At least it is almost quitting time, so it is closer to Hump Day than it was when I woke up this morning. That is a good thing. We have to work on Friday, so that is gonna make this week even longer. I actually have cases to work on now, so my work posts are less frequent than they used to be (hehe).

I did nothing this last weekend but sit around on my lazy ass and watch tv. Well, I did clean one of my fish tanks, and that is actually hard work, if you believe it. Water is a lot heavier than you'd think! At least my angel fishies have a cleaner place to live in now, and they are probably happy about that. If you think about it, fish are kinda screwed if they have a lazy owner. Poor fish. They have to swim around in their own crap all day long. I swear, Stuckey, the sucker fish, is getting huge! He must be getting plenty of algae to eat or something. I cleaned my betta fish bowls too, but those are easy to clean. I have no excuse for making them swim in dirty water. I gave Squeakers a bath, too, which she didn't really like. But I think she will thank me for it in the end now that her fur is all nice and clean and fluffy.

Well, it is quitting time, so I am gonna head on out into the "oven" that is B-Town (I read that it is 101 outside right now - ugh). I am afraid of what the inside of my car must feel like. Thank gosh I don't have vinyl seats!!!!!

Kim's Law #2

That car up ahead stopped at the stop sign to my left will wait until I am 10 feet from it then pull out in front of me (even though there was no one in front of me or behind me) and go 10 mph the whole way.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"Have you ever noticed that quite often when you leave someone they ask you to relay an affectionate message to someone else? They'll say, 'Give my love to Klaus. Tell Klaus Rebecca sends her love.' Do you mind that? Do you mind being used that way? The awesome responsibility of carrying Rebecca's love to Klaus? Suppose you don't see Klaus? What do you do with Rebecca's love? Carry it around? Give it to someone else?"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Looks like they already got to the "in good times and in bad" part)

Man Pleads Guilty, Then Gets Married

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. - Minutes after pleading guilty to a gang-related stabbing death, Joshua Martin Miracle got married in the same courtroom.

Miracle, 26, who faces death or life in prison without parole for killing Elias Raymond Silva, 30, in October, exchanged wedding vows Friday with longtime girlfriend Christina Beltran, 21, during a brief ceremony performed by retired Superior Court Judge William Gordon.

The groom, handcuffed and wearing an orange jail jumpsuit, managed to steal a kiss before bailiffs took him back to County Jail.

The bride declined comment.

"I think they are very committed to each other and, despite the present unhappy circumstance, want to be together as much as they can," Miracle's advisory lawyer Joe Allen said. "This will enable Christina to come and visit him wherever he may be."

For three months, Miracle has represented himself in the murder case with the help of his court-appointed advisory lawyer. Miracle insisted on pleading guilty but Superior Court Judge Brian Hill said state law prohibiting defendants in capital cases from pleading guilty without the advise of any attorney.

The judge accepted his guilty plea Friday after Allen assured him the defendant was fully aware of the consequences of his pleas.

Kim's Law #1

No matter how extensive of a grocery list I make, I will inevitably forget to buy the one thing I REALLY needed to get.



Case in point...last week. I needed to get TP, and I totally forgot to get it. Is it just because I am an airhead? Let's hope not.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(So THAT'S where those suckers went!)

Dentures Removed From Man's Bronchial Tube

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A Taiwanese man is breathing easier after a surgeon removed a missing set of dentures from one of his bronchial tubes — three years after he lost them in a fall.

Surgeon Chen Chun-lei said the unidentified man visited his clinic several days ago complaining of shortness of breath and a high fever.

The man had no idea the missing denture was the culprit, causing a mild case of pneumonia.

"He had looked for the missing dentures for three years but they were nowhere to be found," Chen said.

Chen operated after an X-ray detected an unknown object in one of his bronchial tubes — what turned out to be the missing denture.

Chen said the 45-year-old man did not suffer serious breathing problems earlier, possibly because the lower denture of eight teeth had stuck in part of the bronchial tube but did not entirely block the passage of air.

"The patient might have needed to have part of his lung removed if the denture was not located before it caused severe damage," Chen said Monday. "He was a lucky man to find it when he did."

Things that make me go hmmmm...

~ I used to have faith in Comedy Central...that was until I heard they were going to do a roast of , gulp, Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson? I thought that roasts were reserved for comedians like Dennis Leary, Rodney Dangerfield, Steve Martin, etc. Since when has Pamela Anderson been a comedian??? Inquiring minds want to know. (now that I think about it, her boobs are kinda funny).

~ There is a new "reality tv" show on E! called, Kill Reality. This show is all about the filming of an actual movie with reality tv stars as its cast. Sound interesting to you? Luckily, the movie is a scary movie, because the whole idea of using reality tv stars as actors is, well, scary. I smell a box office bomb. I watched one episode, and all I can say is that Toni woman is a royal beeeyach.
Who comes up with these ideas????

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

G.C's Guide to Dining Out

"The pepper mill can be a source of great fun. Keep the waiter going on the pepper mill for a long time. Disturbingly long. Like, for about fifteen minutes. Until everyone in the restaurant is really uncomfortable. Then, when your food and silverware are completely covered with a thin layer of ground pepper, say, 'Okay, stop! That's perfect!' Then, a few minutes later, call the waiter over and tell him, 'This food has way too much pepper on it!"

Stupid News Story of The Day

(When you gotta spit, you gotta spit)

Driver Chases Car After Falling Out

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Opening up your door while driving isn't a good idea, especially on a busy highway.

Robbin Doolin, 31, of the Kansas City suburb of Grandview, learned that Friday morning when she leaned out her fast-moving car to spit.

She went tumbling out onto U.S. 71 in Kansas City, and to the amazement of other drivers, she hopped up and chased her car as it careened down an embankment toward a construction site.

Doolin was recovering Friday night at a hospital, where she was treated for injuries to her leg, arm and head.

"It's certainly not prudent to open your car door on a highway, especially when you're not wearing a seat belt," said Capt. Rich Lockhart, a police spokesman.

Lockhart said the woman was embarrassed about the accident.

Her explanation to officers: "I leaned out to spit and I leaned too far."