It feels like this Friday took forever to get here. I think I say that every week though - lol. I always get here on Fridays feeling like a zombie, and today is no exception. I don't think there is enough caffeine in the world to wake my lazy butt up this morning. Yawn.
I usually try to start out my day with a blog entry, just to help wake me up and get me in the "work" mode. But this morning, I really have nothing interesting to say (not that I EVER have anything interesting to say in the first place, but I digress). Work is, well, work. It is hot in Bake-O. Gas prices are still high. Blah, blah, blah.
I did read that KISS will be releasing men's and women's colognes soon, which doesn't strike me as a very good idea, cuz when I think of KISS, I think sweat and big boots and lots of make up. And frankly, I don't wanna smell sweat or to find out what the inside of one of Gene Simmon's boots after a concert smells like. But that is just me.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"It's wedding season again. You can tell because the average bridal magazine currently weighs more than the average bride. Bridal magazines are massive because they carry enormous amounts of advertising designed to convince the bride-to-be that her wedding will be a hideous disaster if it costs less than a nuclear aircraft carrier. 'If your parents have any money left over for retirements, you have FAILED' - that is the message to brides from the U.S wedding industry."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Guess he ran out of towels.)
Speeding man was drying wet car
AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Police confiscated the car and driver's license of a Dutchman caught speeding who said he only wanted to dry his car after he had washed it.
The 27-year-old was stopped in Amsterdam driving at 108 kph (68 mph), 50 kph over the speed limit, police said.
"Because he did not have his driver's license with him, his clean car was confiscated until he produces it," a police spokeswoman said.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I am getting sleeeeeepy
I am sooooooo sleepy. I am taking this new medication called Mobic, and what do you wanna bet that that is the reason that I am sooooooooo drowsy. I think I will take a nap at lunch - lol. The freakin' medicine cost me $30 since they have no generic, so it better work. I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Without insurance it would cost $243. I don't know why medicine is so expensive, but it sure as shit is.
Speaking of shit, I have been reading that Britney Spears and K-Fed (or as Perezhilton calls him, K-Fag) are breaking up, which we all hope is true since ever since she met that man, she has gotten skankier and white-trashier than ever. Why she ever hooked up with that dude, we'll never know (let's face it, K-Fed is about as attractive as Donald Trump's hair and about as smart as Jessica Simpson's left eyebrow). Hopefully, she'll ditch that man before he ends up spending all of her money and corrupting her kids. With the mouth on him, it is highly likely that the first word Sean Preston utters will be "f*ck."
Anyway, here is a picture of Brangelina and their new baby:
Ok, so it's not a real picture (I did some creative editing with Paint Shop - hehe), but I don't want those dumb wads at those magazines to sue my broke ass. So there. You will see the pictures soon enough at the supermarket checkout line, if you are THAT curious. Frankly, I am not, but I guess it beats staring at the floor while waiting in line at the supermarket.
Speaking of shit, I have been reading that Britney Spears and K-Fed (or as Perezhilton calls him, K-Fag) are breaking up, which we all hope is true since ever since she met that man, she has gotten skankier and white-trashier than ever. Why she ever hooked up with that dude, we'll never know (let's face it, K-Fed is about as attractive as Donald Trump's hair and about as smart as Jessica Simpson's left eyebrow). Hopefully, she'll ditch that man before he ends up spending all of her money and corrupting her kids. With the mouth on him, it is highly likely that the first word Sean Preston utters will be "f*ck."
Anyway, here is a picture of Brangelina and their new baby:
Ok, so it's not a real picture (I did some creative editing with Paint Shop - hehe), but I don't want those dumb wads at those magazines to sue my broke ass. So there. You will see the pictures soon enough at the supermarket checkout line, if you are THAT curious. Frankly, I am not, but I guess it beats staring at the floor while waiting in line at the supermarket.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"The World's Largest Ball of Paint in Alexandria, Indiana, grew over the years, until now it weighs more than 1,300 pounds, which makes you wonder what Michelangelo might have accomplished if only HE had a baseball. Recently, Alexandria honored Carmichael's achievement by holding Ball of Paint Day, and the town is hoping the ball will attract tourists. So to beat the crowds, be sure to get there early, and allow enough time for your family to truly experience the paint ball. Ten minutes is plenty."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(The evidence says, he is dead.)
Crime-scene students find dead man
MIAMI (Reuters) - A group of Florida criminology students working a fake crime scene stumbled across a real corpse on a field trip to study forensics.
The St. Thomas Aquinas High School students were taken to a Fort Lauderdale park on Monday to look for clues at a mock crime scene where the instructor had planted phony "evidence."
"The students went up to this one area ... and found a man with his back against the wall and he looked dead. They thought it was part of the skit," Fort Lauderdale Police detective Kathy Collins said.
There was no sign of foul play and the 45-year-old homeless man appeared to have died of natural causes, she said.
It may not have been a murder, but the discovery of the dead man may have persuaded one teen-ager that crime-scene investigation is not his life's work.
"I don't really think I could take finding any more dead bodies, especially if it was rotting," Juan Cantor, 15, told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel newspaper.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Calm down People!
It's Hump Day! Woo hoo. I love dem Hump Days, cuz it means only 2 more days of work til the weekend (in other words, sleeping in time - hehe).
I read that People and Hello magazines are supposedly going to court cuz some websites (one of my favs, Perezhilton, included) apparently posted a pic of Brangelina's new baby, saying THEY are the only ones authorized to have the pics. Good lord. With all the fuss over this kid, you would think that she is the second coming of Christ or something. Damn! It is just a baby! Calm down People! Sheesh!
If you wanna see the pic, you can click HERE to see it. Since I am not posting the picture myself, those a-holes at the magazines can't do anything to me, so bite me People! And bite me, too, Hello. I don't know what those mags are getting their pants in a tizzy for anyway since the pic is probably fake anyway. Don't get me wrong. I don't give a rat's ass about Brangelina anyhow, but it pisses me off about how these big corporations wanna buy the rights to everything, including people. And while I may glance at the cover of a magazine while I am waiting in line at Vons or something, I am not gonna buy it just so I can have some pic of Brad and Angelina and their "super kid." I don't think Brad is THAT good looking anyway. I would take Dr House over him ANY day.
I watched the new Simple Life episode the other night, and I was surprised at how funny it was. I like Nicole Richie MUCH better than Paris Skankton. She is so freakin' funny! I really expected the show to suck ass, but it didn't. Will I watch it on a regular basis? Probably not. But I had nothing else to do that night - lol.
I read that People and Hello magazines are supposedly going to court cuz some websites (one of my favs, Perezhilton, included) apparently posted a pic of Brangelina's new baby, saying THEY are the only ones authorized to have the pics. Good lord. With all the fuss over this kid, you would think that she is the second coming of Christ or something. Damn! It is just a baby! Calm down People! Sheesh!
If you wanna see the pic, you can click HERE to see it. Since I am not posting the picture myself, those a-holes at the magazines can't do anything to me, so bite me People! And bite me, too, Hello. I don't know what those mags are getting their pants in a tizzy for anyway since the pic is probably fake anyway. Don't get me wrong. I don't give a rat's ass about Brangelina anyhow, but it pisses me off about how these big corporations wanna buy the rights to everything, including people. And while I may glance at the cover of a magazine while I am waiting in line at Vons or something, I am not gonna buy it just so I can have some pic of Brad and Angelina and their "super kid." I don't think Brad is THAT good looking anyway. I would take Dr House over him ANY day.
I watched the new Simple Life episode the other night, and I was surprised at how funny it was. I like Nicole Richie MUCH better than Paris Skankton. She is so freakin' funny! I really expected the show to suck ass, but it didn't. Will I watch it on a regular basis? Probably not. But I had nothing else to do that night - lol.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"Your destination is Alexandria, Indiana. You probably recognize the name: This is the town that made international news ten years ago when three workers pulled a hairball the size of a goat out of a sewer. The hairball became an instant nationwide celebrity, kind of like Joe Millionaire, only with more intellectual depth. The original hairball dissolved, but the people of Alexandria made a replica, which bears striking resemblance to Donald Trump, and which (I am not making this up) has been prominently featured in the annual Christmas parade."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Pissed off or pyromaniac? You decide.)
Who's never been tempted to do this?
BELGRADE (Reuters) - A Serb man set his car on fire when he heard how much he had to pay to reclaim it after it was towed away for illegal parking.
An attendant told the daily Press the man was very calm.
"He went to his car, took a few things then opened the hood and set the engine on fire. When it was well ablaze he got back on his bike and rode off."
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Better late than never
I finally got around to blogging today. I have been busy working on the scrapbook I made of pictures from Alana's birthday party, which I am gonna give to Alicia as a present. Alana got a lot of presents, so I figured her mom should have one, too It came out really cute. I wanna make a scrapbook for me next, but I really have nothing to put in it - lol. Maybe I will make one someday. I do have lots of pictures from my various camping trips.
This work day is almost done, which is good, since I am tired and my hands are achey from all of the cutting I did today. I also had to make some baby booties for baby shower favors (made out of paper), and after cutting out 20 of them and putting them together, my hands have had enough! Yeowch!
It is hot outside, and I am SO not looking forward to getting out of this cool building and getting into my 120+ degree car. Ugh. Why do summers have to happen? Why? I hate getting all hot and sweaty. (well, if I am gonna end up all hot and sweaty, I want it to be because of something other than driving my car, if you catch my drift - haha).
This work day is almost done, which is good, since I am tired and my hands are achey from all of the cutting I did today. I also had to make some baby booties for baby shower favors (made out of paper), and after cutting out 20 of them and putting them together, my hands have had enough! Yeowch!
It is hot outside, and I am SO not looking forward to getting out of this cool building and getting into my 120+ degree car. Ugh. Why do summers have to happen? Why? I hate getting all hot and sweaty. (well, if I am gonna end up all hot and sweaty, I want it to be because of something other than driving my car, if you catch my drift - haha).
Random Fact of The Day
There are 365 steps on the front of the U.S. Capitol Building - one for every day of the year.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
Dream Vacation Itinerary
"You're going to Alexandria, Indiana, to see the World's Largest Ball of Paint. That's right: Alexandria is one of those rare places blessed with TWO major attractions, like Paris, France, which has both the Eiffel Tower and the Coliseum; and Brentwood, Tennessee, which has Dolly Parton. Because it turns out that Alexandria is the home of a painting contractor named Michael Carmichael who, since 1977, has been applying coats of paint - sometimes ten coats a day - to a baseball. Why did he do this? For exactly the same reason that Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel: He had plenty of paint."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(I think someone needs to hire some security guards, don't ya think?)
Isn't it supposed to be harder than this?
ATHENS (Reuters) - A helicopter landed in the middle of the high security Athens Korydallos prison, picked up two prisoners and flew away in a Hollywood-style escape that has left Greek police stunned.
A criminal on the run hijacked the helicopter Sunday to get his brother out of prison, police said. Vassilis Paleokostas, 40, who was serving a 25-year sentence for kidnapping and bank robbery, and an Albanian convict escaped.
"The guards thought it was a surprise inspection by ministry officials and did nothing," a police official said.
The helicopter pilot, who said he was forced at gunpoint to undertake the mission, flew the inmates to a nearby cemetery and they made their escape on motorbikes. Greek police have launched a manhunt for the convicts.
Monday, June 05, 2006
MMM...brains!
You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained |
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
Ahh Choo
Well I thought the spring allergies had bypassed me, but no such luck. This weekend, they came back on in full force. Sneezing, itchy throat, sinus headaches...the works. When it comes to having luck, I have none at all.
I don't think my little day trip up to Carrizo Plain and Mt Pinos yesterday helped in the matter either. It was kinda breezy out in Carrizo. All of the wildflowers are gone. Now it is all brown. I didn't see any snakes up there this time (although I did spot a rattlesnake in the road on the way up to Mt Pinos). I did see a few jackrabbits and a bunny rabbit that was lying in the shade taking a break from the sun (it was pretty warm up there). He didn't even move when I went near him. I think, since I saw him at the Visitor Center, he is used to people being around. Plus, it was probably so hot that he didn't have enough energy to move - lol. I also saw a roadrunner behind the Visitor Center, but he took off as soon as he saw me. The worst thing about Carrizo Plain right now is the locusts. It is like there is a plague of them up there! Yuck!
At Mt Pinos, it was a different story. It was nice and green and there were still some wildflowers up there (lupine and poppies). The weather was beautiful. It was warm but not hot, and there was a little bit of a breeze. I took a short walk down a trail, since it was getting late, and then went back down to my car and drove home. Of course, it was hotter than heck back in B-Town.
I didn't sleep much last night, since my asshole neighbor played his loud music last night at 3 am. I don't know what is up with that dude. He must never work. I just don't get why the hell he needs to have his music that loud in the first place. I was so pissed, but so tired at the same time, and I just didn't have it in me to fight about it last night. I just tried to go back to sleep, and debated about sleeping in the living room on the couch. I finally went to sleep, but was woken up again at 5 am to loud music again. GRRRRR! So now, I am sleepy and grumpy. My joints hurt and my head feels like it is stuffed with cotton or something. I am not a happy camper.
I don't think my little day trip up to Carrizo Plain and Mt Pinos yesterday helped in the matter either. It was kinda breezy out in Carrizo. All of the wildflowers are gone. Now it is all brown. I didn't see any snakes up there this time (although I did spot a rattlesnake in the road on the way up to Mt Pinos). I did see a few jackrabbits and a bunny rabbit that was lying in the shade taking a break from the sun (it was pretty warm up there). He didn't even move when I went near him. I think, since I saw him at the Visitor Center, he is used to people being around. Plus, it was probably so hot that he didn't have enough energy to move - lol. I also saw a roadrunner behind the Visitor Center, but he took off as soon as he saw me. The worst thing about Carrizo Plain right now is the locusts. It is like there is a plague of them up there! Yuck!
At Mt Pinos, it was a different story. It was nice and green and there were still some wildflowers up there (lupine and poppies). The weather was beautiful. It was warm but not hot, and there was a little bit of a breeze. I took a short walk down a trail, since it was getting late, and then went back down to my car and drove home. Of course, it was hotter than heck back in B-Town.
I didn't sleep much last night, since my asshole neighbor played his loud music last night at 3 am. I don't know what is up with that dude. He must never work. I just don't get why the hell he needs to have his music that loud in the first place. I was so pissed, but so tired at the same time, and I just didn't have it in me to fight about it last night. I just tried to go back to sleep, and debated about sleeping in the living room on the couch. I finally went to sleep, but was woken up again at 5 am to loud music again. GRRRRR! So now, I am sleepy and grumpy. My joints hurt and my head feels like it is stuffed with cotton or something. I am not a happy camper.
Caption This!
Moments after this picture was taken, Richard Simmons tackled the model behind him and ate her dress.
Post your own funny caption in a comment if you want to.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(There are stupid people, then there are STUPID people.)
Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
LA High School Math Proficiency Exam
NAME____________________
GANG/CREW NAME______________ CRIB_________________
1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attempt before he has to reload?
2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8-ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
3. Rufus pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?
4. Dave wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?
5. Desmond gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?
6. Tom got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
8. Tyrone knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?
9. LaSheena is a lookout for the gang. LaSheena also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If LaSheena makes $700 week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa on one week's income?
10. Marvin steals Joe's skate board. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?
GANG/CREW NAME______________ CRIB_________________
1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attempt before he has to reload?
2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8-ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
3. Rufus pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?
4. Dave wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to obtain the 20% profit?
5. Desmond gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?
6. Tom got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?
8. Tyrone knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?
9. LaSheena is a lookout for the gang. LaSheena also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If LaSheena makes $700 week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed the Boa on one week's income?
10. Marvin steals Joe's skate board. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?
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