Music Video Codes
by FVC(press "play" to see video)
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Stupid News Story of The Day
(How many steaks for a hummer?)
R.I. Police Say Man Offered Steak for Sex
WOONSOCKET, R.I. - He didn't have any money. But police say that didn't stop Wayne Glaude, 22, from soliciting sex from an undercover officer Thursday night. Instead, police said, he offered steak.
Glaude, who works at a meat company, tried to strike a deal with the undercover officer, according to Detective Capt. Luke Gallant.
"He didn't have any money, and had a couple of nice T-bones sitting at home," Gallant said.
Glaude, of Woonsocket, was arrested and pleaded innocent Friday in Providence District Court to a count of soliciting from a motor vehicle. He was released on personal recognizance.
Gallant said Woonsocket police had never had a case like it.
"I can honestly say it's the first time," he said.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"Here's how to get rid of counterfeit money:
Put it in the collection plate at church."
(funny, but just wrong - lol)
A long long time ago...
A long time ago, when I was a kid, I loved Shel Silverstein poems. I had Where The Sidewalk Ends, and A Light In The Attic. I think this was where I got my love of poetry from, because not only were the poems humorous, but the books also had silly illustrations. They were probably my most-read books. I read them all of the time. Here is one of my favorite Shel Silverstein poems:
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
"They've Put a Brassiere On a Camel"
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
She wasn't dressed proper, you know.
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
So that her humps wouldn't show.
And they're making other respectable plans,
They're even even insisting the pigs should wear pants,
They'll dress up the ducks if we give them the chance
Since they've put a brassiere on a camel.
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
They claim she's more decent that way.
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
The camel had nothing to say.
They squeezed her into it, i'll never know how,
They say that she looks more respectable now,
Lord knows what they've got in mind for the cow,
Since they've put a brassiere on a camel.
Etiquette is for sissies
I don't want to be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately.
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind.
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be.
I don't want to be anything other than me.
~ Gavin Degraw "I Don't Wanna Be"
I am tired of hearing how people are supposed to do this or supposed to do that. Or supposed to look like this or dress like that. People are not just carbon copies of everyone else. They are individuals with their own likes and dislikes. And I certainly am not one to conform to what society thinks is ideal. After all, what is society but a group of people? And who is to say that society is always right anyway? I think I have just as much right to believe what I want to believe and think how I want to think. I have never been a conformist. Even when I was in elementary school, I would get into trouble for questioning the teachers about things or talking too much, or, heaven forbid, for not keeping my socks up to my knees. It gets hot in the summer, and who wants stupid socks covering up their legs when it is hot? Apparently the teachers' rules were not all about common sense. And I think I made them mad for making them look stupid in front of everyone else. Now, I was a good kid. I never got into trouble for fighting or being a bully or being mean. No. I was always nice and respectful...when I was treated nice and respectfully. But that was because I wanted to be that way, not because I thought I HAD to be. There are a lot of people in the world who think it is ok to pick on the smaller, weaker people just because they can. I am not saying that THAT kind of behavior is ok. Just because you can do something, doesn't always mean you should do it. If that were the case, it would be pure anarchy. There has to be rules and boundaries set forth to keep civilization "civilized."
What I don't like is when people tell me I MUST be politically correct, or that I MUST go to church, or that I MUST dress a certain way or talk in a certain manner. And I don't like feeling that I have to walk on eggshells around certain people for fear of offending them. We live in a society where it is taboo to talk about certain things, like sex, yet we see violence on the news all the time. Why is it ok to talk about and show people getting killed and it is not ok to mention something like oral sex on tv? Am I missing something or is death not worse than sex? lol. And it is perfectly ok to show a decapitated body on a tv show, but you flash a breast and all of a sudden you are being indecent. I don't know, but there seems to be something wrong with this picture.
Now, I may not be the world's best person. I am not a fashionable dresser; I am not a great speaker; I don't have shampoo-bottle-label perfect hair; I don't have the body of a model; I am short; I am stubborn; I am opinionated and can be obnoxiously silly...but I am me. And there is nobody else I would rather be. I am not going to call people "vertically challenged" or any other PC bullshit like that. I will say "shit" instead of "crap" when I want to , because they mean the same damned thing. And I will not apologize for any of this, because I am not doing anything wrong. I am not going to try to look like Heidi Klum, because that is not who I am. I am not going to do anything just to try to impress people or to gain some friends, because a true friend likes you for who you already are. And if you are pretending to be someone you are not, you are not going to get real friends. So what is the point of being someone you are not? Simple...there is none.
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"The public will never become concerned about global warming or the greenhouse effect. These words just aren't scary enough. Global means all-encompassing, warming connotes comfort, green equals growth, and house equals shelter. Growth, shelter, and all-encompassing comfort, Doesn't sound like much of a threat. Relax."
Stupid News Story of The Day
( So I take it the judge didn't like your present)
AZTEC, N.M. - An inmate's letter delivered Monday to a district judge tested positive for marijuana, authorities said.
Craig Hopkins, an inmate at the San Juan County Detention Center, apologized to Judge Thomas Hynes for violating his probation. At the bottom of the envelope were marijuana leaves.
The discovery prompted a 6-hour shakedown in Hopkins' cellblock, but no other drugs were found, said Corrections Director Tom Havel.
Havel suggested the marijuana could have been smuggled into the facility in an inmate's body cavity.
Hopkins, who already faces charges ranging from possession of a controlled substance to DWI and battery on a household member, isn't talking to jail officials.
"He's clammed up tight," Havel said.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
CSI rocks!
I love CSI...it is like heaven when I come home from work and get to see CSI not once, but twice every weeknight on Spike TV at 7 pm and 8pm. That is 2 hours of pure enjoyment for me - hehe. It is well-written and interesting and at the end of every episode, I get to thinking "How did they think of that?" I haven't checked out CSI Miami or CSI New York...I just like the original CSI. Plus they have these guys...
Gary Dourdan as "Warrick Brown"
George Eads as "Nick Stokes"
Eric Szmanda as "Greg Sanders"
William Petersen as "Gil Grissom"
Need I say more?
Did I mention that I love CSI?? hehe
Can you hear me now?
Well, today has been a big disappointment. I called SBC and the lady that answered told me that she had no record of me calling to report a problem with my phone on Tuesday. She told me the last record she had of me calling was like a week ago....so, she said she'd send someone over today, which she did. BUT, when the guy from the phone company called me, he said the outside line was working fine and that it was probably something in the inside wiring. UGH! So, now I am gonna have to take a look at it myself, and if I still can't fix it, I will have to call the landlord to send out a maintenance person to fix it. I am so ready to just tell them to cancel my phone line. I have a cell phone, and my computer runs on a cable modem, so it is not like I NEED the home phone, too. It is just a convenience (that and I don't like giving out my cell phone number to everyone). Oh well. At least my answering machine works, so if anyone calls me, I hope they don't think I am just not answering the phone....I really can't answer it, cuz it doesn't work!
I went out to lunch with some co-workers, because Seble is leaving today. Her extra help time is up, and she is going to Africa to visit relatives in May. I hope she has fun! I tell you, some of my co-workers are sooo funny. Lunchtime was a riot today.
It is starting to really cloud up outside. Looks like it is about to start pouring at any second. I really want to wash my car, being that it is so dirty, but what's the point if it is going to rain every 4 or 5 days? Oh well. Pretty soon it will be like 110 degrees outside and I will be complaining because it won't rain. I am just never satisfied - lol.
I went out to lunch with some co-workers, because Seble is leaving today. Her extra help time is up, and she is going to Africa to visit relatives in May. I hope she has fun! I tell you, some of my co-workers are sooo funny. Lunchtime was a riot today.
It is starting to really cloud up outside. Looks like it is about to start pouring at any second. I really want to wash my car, being that it is so dirty, but what's the point if it is going to rain every 4 or 5 days? Oh well. Pretty soon it will be like 110 degrees outside and I will be complaining because it won't rain. I am just never satisfied - lol.
Welcome to the world...
Congratulations to Cyndi and Matt who welcomed
Gabrial Ryan Middleton into the world on April 26, 2005 at 7:26 pm.
A Baby is . . .
A baby is cuddles and tickles on toes,
the sweet scent of powder, a kiss on the nose!
A baby is teddy bears, rattles and pins,
meals at midnight... giggles and grins.
Congratulations on the newest addition to your family.
Stupid News Story of The Day
("...what do you mean you're not making me your baby's godfather?")
Best Man Arrested in Honeymoon Blaze
HAMPTON, Va. - A honeymooning couple was to return Wednesday night to find their home had been set on fire while they were away, and that police arrested the best man at their wedding and charged him with setting the blaze.
Joseph Overton, 27, was charged with burning and destroying a dwelling and manufacturing and use of an explosive device, Fire Marshal Rick Rickett said.
He would not say what the motive was, but said it was not racially driven. Del. Thomas Gear, R-Hampton, the bride's father, had feared the blaze could have been a hate crime.
The house belonged to the former Shannon Gear, 32, who is white, and her new husband, Anthony Williams, who is black. Overton also is black, Rickett said.
The couple were honeymooning in Mexico. They were due home late Wednesday.
The Daily Press of Newport News reported Wednesday that fire investigators discovered a beer bottle containing a wick and a cigarette butt at the scene.
Del. Gear said the couple married Saturday, toasted by 200 guests.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Ugh!
I am pissed. For one thing, the stupid phone company did NOT come fix my phone line today like they said they would. I came home and my phone was still dead. I checked online to see the status of my repair issue, and it said that no problem had been reported. WTF? The lady on the phone said they would be out here this morning between 8 am and 12 pm. Liar, liar, pants on fire. I guess I will have to call them again tomorrow and stay at home and watch out my window to make sure they actually come out here. Ugh.
The other thing that pissed me off tonite was that on American Idol, they didn't send Scott home. He wasn't even in the bottom 3! Do people not even listen to the singers? Why do people like that damned Scott so much? He sucks! They, instead, sent Constantine home. Constantine! (of course, he did suck ass last night). American Idol voters have sunk to a new low. I am debating whether I should even watch the stupid results shows anymore. That Ryan Seacrest is such a dork. And Paula pretty much repeats everything Randy says. If they made Paula go first on the judges critiques, I doubt she would know what to do. Simon may be harsh, but at least he tells it like it is.
This is to better illustrate the below mentioned Sonic parking-drive thru situation.
Posted by Hello
Hi, welcome to Sonic
Today has started out pretty good. The sun was shining when I got up. I saw my neighbor walking to his car as I walked to mine, and he smiled at me and waved and I smiled and waved back. No one cut me off as I was driving to work. My boss brought cinnamon rolls and strawberries for all of us in our unit. Debbie gave me a piece of chocolate cake that someone made for Secretary's Day (for those PC people...Administrative Professional's Day), and it was yummy. So I didn't even have to buy breakfast this morning. I fixed a case for someone who was having trouble with it. The telephone company is coming by my place this morning to fix the phone line, so HOPEFULLY I will have a working phone when I get home. So, yeah, this morning has started out pretty good :)
I am thinking about going to El Pollo Loco for lunch. They have yummy Pollo Bowls and churros. I don't think I am gonna go to the Sonic on 23rd Street for a while. Seems like I always have trouble there. Once, I nearly hit one of their employees when she walked out in front of me without looking. Another time, they gave me the wrong drink. Another time, I was in the danged drive thru line for 20 minutes. And then last time I went, I got into it with someone who was being a royal beeeyach about trying to back out of a parking spot. I was sitting in my car in the drive-thru line, which, at lunch time, usually extends pretty far back and does block in some of the cars that are parked. But this is not my fault. So there I was, sitting in my car listening to the new Weezer cd that my brother got for me, when the guy who was parked in a parking spot near my car decided he wanted to go...NOW. So, he honked his horn and looked at me and at the driver of the car behind me. Well, there were about 4 or 5 inches seperating the front end of my car from the bumper of the car in front of me, so there was no way I could move up. The guy behind me did back up a little for the irate driver of the parked car to back out, but he still could not back out without hitting my car. So, he was getting mad, and kept backing up inch by inch til he was almost touching my car with his. His pregnant girlfriend got out of the car, apparently to "direct traffic" or something, and when the driver backed up another inch or so, this is how the conversation went:
I said, "Shit!"
She said, "Well, don't get an attitude!"
I said, "Well tell your boyfriend to make sure he doesn't hit my car."
She said, "He ain't gonna hit your car, bitch."
I said, "Come again?"
...silence...
I said, "That's what I thought."
She said, "Well if you moved your car..."
To which I abruptly cut her off by saying, "Well I would move it if I could, but as you can clearly see, if I moved up anymore, I would be in that guy's back seat."
...silence...
She looked at my car, then glanced back at her boyfriend, and then got back in the car. I overheard her and her boyfriend saying things like "stupid bitch" and "fucking asshole", and other very, very intelligent phrases, and I could not help but to think that their poor baby was going to have a very interesting childhood. I thought about saying something like, "If you hit my car, I will cut off your food stamps," but I decided against it. I thought that was a tad too tacky, even for them. Soon I was able to move up, and the boyfriend backed up his car, and flipped me the bird as he drove off in a a huff. I just paid them no attention, and continued listening to the cd. As I always say, never underestimate the stupidity of people. And never, under any circumstances, expect people to act their age. Ever.
I am thinking about going to El Pollo Loco for lunch. They have yummy Pollo Bowls and churros. I don't think I am gonna go to the Sonic on 23rd Street for a while. Seems like I always have trouble there. Once, I nearly hit one of their employees when she walked out in front of me without looking. Another time, they gave me the wrong drink. Another time, I was in the danged drive thru line for 20 minutes. And then last time I went, I got into it with someone who was being a royal beeeyach about trying to back out of a parking spot. I was sitting in my car in the drive-thru line, which, at lunch time, usually extends pretty far back and does block in some of the cars that are parked. But this is not my fault. So there I was, sitting in my car listening to the new Weezer cd that my brother got for me, when the guy who was parked in a parking spot near my car decided he wanted to go...NOW. So, he honked his horn and looked at me and at the driver of the car behind me. Well, there were about 4 or 5 inches seperating the front end of my car from the bumper of the car in front of me, so there was no way I could move up. The guy behind me did back up a little for the irate driver of the parked car to back out, but he still could not back out without hitting my car. So, he was getting mad, and kept backing up inch by inch til he was almost touching my car with his. His pregnant girlfriend got out of the car, apparently to "direct traffic" or something, and when the driver backed up another inch or so, this is how the conversation went:
I said, "Shit!"
She said, "Well, don't get an attitude!"
I said, "Well tell your boyfriend to make sure he doesn't hit my car."
She said, "He ain't gonna hit your car, bitch."
I said, "Come again?"
...silence...
I said, "That's what I thought."
She said, "Well if you moved your car..."
To which I abruptly cut her off by saying, "Well I would move it if I could, but as you can clearly see, if I moved up anymore, I would be in that guy's back seat."
...silence...
She looked at my car, then glanced back at her boyfriend, and then got back in the car. I overheard her and her boyfriend saying things like "stupid bitch" and "fucking asshole", and other very, very intelligent phrases, and I could not help but to think that their poor baby was going to have a very interesting childhood. I thought about saying something like, "If you hit my car, I will cut off your food stamps," but I decided against it. I thought that was a tad too tacky, even for them. Soon I was able to move up, and the boyfriend backed up his car, and flipped me the bird as he drove off in a a huff. I just paid them no attention, and continued listening to the cd. As I always say, never underestimate the stupidity of people. And never, under any circumstances, expect people to act their age. Ever.
Stupid News Story of The Day
Artist Offers Thousands of Kisses
LONDON (Reuters) - Would you like to kiss British Prime Minister Tony Blair? How about kissing him 100,000 times?
A performance artist aims to do just that when he attempts to kiss a photograph of Blair for eight hours in a marathon display of affection for the British leader, who is seeking re-election on May 5.
Mark McGowan, whose previous stunts include sitting in a bath of baked beans for two weeks with sausages strapped to his head and nailing his feet to a gallery wall, said he felt Blair was the best candidate in the upcoming election.
"I'm just going to give the picture of Blair quick kisses, they won't be long smooches," said McGowan, who will perform his amorous stunt outside the prime minister's residence at 10 Downing Street on election day.
"He's been really feeling the heat from the opposition recently an I wanted to show him some affection. I've been practicing on my hand and using a stopwatch and figure I can kiss the picture about 200 times a minute," he added.
McGowan famously protested against Blair in 2003 when he pushed a nut across London pavements with his nose to draw attention to student debt, but said the prime minister would get his vote next Thursday.
Polls show Blair and his ruling Labour party on course to win a third term in power.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
American Idol time
Ok - tonite was a so-so nite. Only Bo, Vonzell and Carrie did a decent job. Constantine SUCKED. He sucked more than Scott and Anthony put together (and that is bad! lol). Based on tonite's performances, my bottom 3 would be: Anthony, Scott and Constantine. I see Scott going home tomorrow for sure (only because Constantine is usually good and probably deserves another shot). And if anyone else but him goes home, then I am going to seriously doubt people's hearing ability. Seriously.
I got 1st place in Mario Kart - woo hoo (not like this is a big achievement or anything, but I still got 1st place - lol)
Posted by Hello
Here's something that you just don't see everyday
Apparently, in Maryland, about 9 buffalo got loose and ran amok. Police officers managed to herd them onto a tennis court and then somehow got them into a trailer and sent them home.
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors."
Mega Name Generator
Ok - so here's another one of these silly things - some of the names are kinda funny - lol
Kimberly Lynn Perkins's Aliases |
Your movie star name: Cracker Jacks Clyde |
Your fashion designer name is Kimberly London |
Your socialite name is Perky LA |
Your fly girl / guy name is K Per |
Your detective name is Raccoon Maricopa |
Your barfly name is Candy Oral Orgasm |
Your soap opera name is Lynn River |
Your rock star name is Milky Way Jet |
Your star wars name is Kimsqu Perlei |
Your punk rock band name is The Sassy Rolodex |
Another day, another 50 cents
Well, today, so far, has been ok, but then it is only 9:30 am - lol. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring. On the good side, I can FINALLY taste and smell again, and boy that donut I had this morning was the best donut I have ever tasted - lol. It is amazing just how much we take our senses for granted. I was just so happy yesterday when I went to my parents' house after work to do my laundry, and I could actually smell the laundry detergent. My brother has pneumonia, and both of my parents have colds right now, so the house was noisy with people blowing their noses and coughing - lol. I still have not heard whether or not Cyndi had her baby, so I guess that means she is still preggers. She was due on the 20th of this month, but due dates are never really that accurate. My mom said my brother was due in mid June and he wasn't born until July 25th. So either the doctor was off on the due date, or he did not want to come out - lol.
I read that they are planning on taking cold medications off the shelf at Wal Mart and Target in the near future, and putting them behind the counter so that the pharmacist has to ring you up there at the pharmacy counter. This is supposedly because of of certain stupid fools using pseudoephedrine (or however that is spelled) to create methamphetamine (or however that is spelled - why must they make drug names so darned hard to spell??) I guess this is a good idea, in a way, but the logic behind it doesn't make sense. That would be like Home Depot having steel products behind the counter because some people use them to make pipe bombs and the like. I don't think a person buying one box of Sudafed is much to worry about, but I WOULD be wary of someone buying 10 boxes at a time (unless they were REALLY sick). I really doubt this will stop people from making meth. I don't think anything will ever stop people from making illegal drugs as long as there is money to be made in it. It just ticks me off to think that if ran out of Sudafed in the middle of the night, that I would have to wait til morning to get it, because the pharmacy counters at Target and Wal Mart typically close before the store does. Of course, there are other stores that carry cold medicines, but I wonder how long it will be before all the stores follow suit. But, nevermind me. I just had to find something to rant about this morning.
I read that they are planning on taking cold medications off the shelf at Wal Mart and Target in the near future, and putting them behind the counter so that the pharmacist has to ring you up there at the pharmacy counter. This is supposedly because of of certain stupid fools using pseudoephedrine (or however that is spelled) to create methamphetamine (or however that is spelled - why must they make drug names so darned hard to spell??) I guess this is a good idea, in a way, but the logic behind it doesn't make sense. That would be like Home Depot having steel products behind the counter because some people use them to make pipe bombs and the like. I don't think a person buying one box of Sudafed is much to worry about, but I WOULD be wary of someone buying 10 boxes at a time (unless they were REALLY sick). I really doubt this will stop people from making meth. I don't think anything will ever stop people from making illegal drugs as long as there is money to be made in it. It just ticks me off to think that if ran out of Sudafed in the middle of the night, that I would have to wait til morning to get it, because the pharmacy counters at Target and Wal Mart typically close before the store does. Of course, there are other stores that carry cold medicines, but I wonder how long it will be before all the stores follow suit. But, nevermind me. I just had to find something to rant about this morning.
Stupid News Story of The Day
(and in this case, it did)
Top Stories - AP
FRESNO, Calif. - A man attempting to burglarize a car over the weekend locked himself in the trunk and was swiftly arrested, police said.
A security guard at an apartment complex in southeast Fresno followed a trail of blood to a banging noise coming from the trunk in the early morning hours Sunday.
Authorities responding to the scene expected to find a victim, but instead discovered the burglar.
"Genius, pure genius," said Fresno County Sheriff's Lt. Louis Hernandez.
Police said he cut himself on the door of another car he'd broken into, then trickled blood across the parking lot to the car he eventually locked himself inside.
The man initially told authorities he had been hit on the head and stuffed in the trunk, but police found items stolen from another vehicle inside the trunk with the suspect.
"He popped the trunk from the inside and crawled back there, ransacking every inch," Hernandez said. "But then he grabs the trunk to heave himself out and closes it on top of him. He's got to be the dumbest criminal of the day."
The man was taken to University Medical Center to be treated for cuts, then to the Fresno County Jail to be booked on two counts of theft.
Police did not identify the suspect.
Monday, April 25, 2005
This is the story of a girl and her vibrator...
Well not really, but there are mentions of vibrators and other related things in this post, so if the very word "vibrator" or "masturbation" makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you skip this post - lol. Just a word of warning.
I was talking to an old friend the other night. For the sake of his ego, I will refrain from calling him by his given name. I will refer to him as "Willy" for the sake of anonymity. Now, Willy and I were talking about his long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, and how they were both going crazy not being able to see and touch each other (amongst other things). I made a comment on how lucky we women are to have vibrators in those kinds of instances, and he completely shocked me by his response to this. He said that he would not like it if his girlfriend used a vibrator or anything else that would substitute for him or replace him, and that he would probably be too jealous of any mechanical device that his girlfriend would use. I was like, "huh?" Jealous??? Of a vibrator? The guy has some kind of inferiority complex if you ask me.
First of all, it is pretty damned selfish of him to deny his girlfriend of pleasure while he is away. After all, it is better to have a vibrator than another man giving her pleasure. Secondly, no matter how great the vibrator is, it can never take the place of the real thing. For a man to be jealous of a plastic (or whatever other kind of material they are made of) vibrator is just insane! Obviously he has not been around vibrators. They look nothing like the real thing - - - no matter how "lifelike" they claim to be. I have seen many vibrators and dildos. I even own a vibrator, and yes, I use it (although not lately, since the batteries are dead and I keep forgetting to get new ones - lol). I am not ashamed of that fact. But, if it were really as good as the real thing, don't you think I would have rushed down to the store and gotten new batteries by now?? Think about that one a bit.
I asked him if he had "pleasured himself" recently, and he said "yes." So I asked him just how he could justify his call for "no vibrators" if he, himself, was substituting his hand for her body? Just because it is not a mechanical device doesn't mean it doesn't fit the criteria for being a substitute for her body. To me, that is just hypocritical. And if he is going to do it, why should he not want his girlfriend to do it, too? If it makes her happy, why not encourage it?
I think every woman should own a vibrator. It is one way to really get in touch with your body and figure out just where your pleasure points are. Men stress out enough as it is trying to figure out just where their women's pleasure spots are, and this can just make sex awkward and hard, and that is not fun! Why not take some of the stress out of it by being able to tell the man where it feels good for you? What is wrong with that?
I think for a man to be jealous of a vibrator is just plain ridiculous. No man in his right mind could ever think that any woman would prefer plastic over flesh - lol. Just thinking about that makes me laugh. But I am not making fun of Willy. I am just trying to point out a few things while showing him just how ridiculous it sounds. Don't stress, Willy. I am sure when the two of you guys get together, it will be great, no matter if she uses a vibrator or not (and if she does, tell her that the 'rabbit' is a great one to use - hehe)
Long live vibrators! May all your batteries be ever-fresh and long-lasting.
I was talking to an old friend the other night. For the sake of his ego, I will refrain from calling him by his given name. I will refer to him as "Willy" for the sake of anonymity. Now, Willy and I were talking about his long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, and how they were both going crazy not being able to see and touch each other (amongst other things). I made a comment on how lucky we women are to have vibrators in those kinds of instances, and he completely shocked me by his response to this. He said that he would not like it if his girlfriend used a vibrator or anything else that would substitute for him or replace him, and that he would probably be too jealous of any mechanical device that his girlfriend would use. I was like, "huh?" Jealous??? Of a vibrator? The guy has some kind of inferiority complex if you ask me.
First of all, it is pretty damned selfish of him to deny his girlfriend of pleasure while he is away. After all, it is better to have a vibrator than another man giving her pleasure. Secondly, no matter how great the vibrator is, it can never take the place of the real thing. For a man to be jealous of a plastic (or whatever other kind of material they are made of) vibrator is just insane! Obviously he has not been around vibrators. They look nothing like the real thing - - - no matter how "lifelike" they claim to be. I have seen many vibrators and dildos. I even own a vibrator, and yes, I use it (although not lately, since the batteries are dead and I keep forgetting to get new ones - lol). I am not ashamed of that fact. But, if it were really as good as the real thing, don't you think I would have rushed down to the store and gotten new batteries by now?? Think about that one a bit.
I asked him if he had "pleasured himself" recently, and he said "yes." So I asked him just how he could justify his call for "no vibrators" if he, himself, was substituting his hand for her body? Just because it is not a mechanical device doesn't mean it doesn't fit the criteria for being a substitute for her body. To me, that is just hypocritical. And if he is going to do it, why should he not want his girlfriend to do it, too? If it makes her happy, why not encourage it?
I think every woman should own a vibrator. It is one way to really get in touch with your body and figure out just where your pleasure points are. Men stress out enough as it is trying to figure out just where their women's pleasure spots are, and this can just make sex awkward and hard, and that is not fun! Why not take some of the stress out of it by being able to tell the man where it feels good for you? What is wrong with that?
I think for a man to be jealous of a vibrator is just plain ridiculous. No man in his right mind could ever think that any woman would prefer plastic over flesh - lol. Just thinking about that makes me laugh. But I am not making fun of Willy. I am just trying to point out a few things while showing him just how ridiculous it sounds. Don't stress, Willy. I am sure when the two of you guys get together, it will be great, no matter if she uses a vibrator or not (and if she does, tell her that the 'rabbit' is a great one to use - hehe)
Long live vibrators! May all your batteries be ever-fresh and long-lasting.
my bro's house as of today, 4/25/05 - it is looking more like a house! (that is my bro in the red, my dad and my mom in the picture) - as a true testament to my clumsiness, I stepped in a puddle about 5 seconds after I took this picture - lol
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Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"When people say 'as clean as a whistle,' they forget that a whistle is full of spit."
Stupid News Story of the Day
(His first clue should have been when the clerk didn't ask him if he wanted fries with that.)
Man Pleads Guilty in French Fries Rage
Strange News - AP
DuBOIS, Pa. - A man who angrily berated fast-food employees when a drive-thru clerk told him the restaurant was out of french fries pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 45 days in jail.
Gregg Luttman, of DuBois, pleaded guilty to assault, resisting arrest, institutional vandalism and other charges stemming from the confrontation on New Year's Day at a Burger King restaurant.
Luttman made an obscene gesture at a drive-thru clerk, cursed at restaurant staff and nearly hit an employee with his truck after workers told Luttman the restaurant had run out of french fries and onion rings, said police in Sandy Township, Clearfield County.
When police tried to arrest Luttman, he scuffled with officer and kicked out the back window of a police cruiser, police said.
In addition to jail time, Luttman last week was fined $150 and ordered to serve two years' probation.
Mondays can just bite me!
It is Monday again. Time for me to whine and complain, so I warn you, that this post ain't gonna be pretty. First of all, I am still in allergy hell. My senses of taste and smell come and go. When I was eating my usual breakfast of Frosted Mini Wheats, I could vaguely sense that I was eating something sweet, but could not completely taste it. The donuts upstairs in the cafeteria looked absolutely lovely, but since I could not taste them, what would be the point of getting one? Sometimes after I blow my nose, I can actually taste things for maybe a minute or two...then, just like that, it is gone. On top of that, my head feels like it is about to explode from all the sinus pressure inside, and my ears are starting to get plugged up too. AND on top of that, my monthly "friend" (more like a monthly bitch) came today and now I am crampy! This sucks ! Oh yeah, and now I am sleepy too, since I took that allergy medicine. It doesn'thelp that I can never get enough sleep when I wake up every 2 or 3 hours. I am just hopeless.
Today was not a good day for me to be driving anywhere, especially not to work. I was so grumpy (as if that was an abnormal thing or something - lol). I realize that I have a "me first" attitude when it comes to driving. I MUST be ahead of everyone else. If I see someone in my rear-view mirror coming up fast in the other lane, and I feel like he or she is driving fast in order to get in front of me, I speed up so that they have to get behind me. I do this almost subconsciously. I think it must have something to do with me being an Aries and all (ok, so that is stretching it, but the blame must be put somewhere! lol). People born under the sign of Aries tend to be aggressive and want to be first (or so the astrologers say). I think this IS true of me and my driving, but then, most drivers do drive aggressively, with the exception of my mother and maybe some other select few people. So, it is probably means nothing that I am an Aries. I am probably just trying to justify my road rage - lol. Or maybe I learned it from my brother. He is, after all, road rage king... at least, in his own mind.
Damn these allergies! It sucks not being able to taste anything. What if I took a bite of something that was spoiled? How would I know? I guess the vomiting and stomach cramps would tell me that....later. Allergies are not hazardous to your health, my ass!
Ok, I am done venting for the time being. Time to go back to work.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Disappointments abound
The biggest disappointment I've had as of late is finding out that the slogan, "It's all about the 'O' " is NOT all about orgasms ... it is an advertisement for a stupid online shopping site! How misleading! I am so disappointed!
Darn - guess my cover is blown - lol
I am 28% Asshole/Bitch.
I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.
poor me
Don't these look like they would taste good? You bet they do! Doesn't matter though...I wouldn't be able to taste them if I had them in front of me ... damned allergies! Damn them!
This is what people like to do on their weekends, I guess - sniffing through other people's garbage - That is exactly why I have a shredder!
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a sculpture by Louise Nevelson - I love the simple intricasies of her works - so simple, yet so detailed
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Allergies suck!
Ahhh choo! It is officially allergy season. I am all stuffed up, sneezing, itchy-eyed and itchy throated, sinus-pained, and I can't taste anything, which kind of takes the fun out of chocolate. And that, in and of itself, is just wrong! I took a trip down to Walgreens to get me some Tylenol Allergy and Sinus medicine, and hopefully it will help, although, so far, it has only succeeded in making me drowsy. zzzz Time for a nap - lol. This always happens every year around this time. I want to find out what it is that makes me sneeze, so I can find out how to get rid of it! I hate allergies! Poor me.
Stupid News Story of The Day
Man Gets Jail Instead of Ride From Police
Strange News - AP
STATESBORO, Ga. - Sgt. Jason Kearney sat in his marked patrol car Thursday, waiting for his colleagues to join him for lunch when Ron Stone asked him for a ride.
The Bulloch County deputy agreed to take Stone to his car, but first he insisted on searching Stone for weapons, said Sheriff Lynn Anderson.
"Stone told Sergeant Kearney to go ahead," Anderson said.
But instead of packing a pistol, the 30-year-old Stone was packing pot — two small bags, Anderson said.
Stone told the uniformed officer he had spent the night at a friend's house and the marijuana was not his, police said.
Instead of a ride to his car, Stone got a ride to the Bulloch County Jail, where police later learned he was wanted in another county on an outstanding warrant for marijuana possession with intent to distribute.
___
(Next time you ask for a ride from a cop, make sure you leave your dope at home- hehe)
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