Why I hate Mondays so very, very much

Mondays suck. That is just a fact. It is just wrong to have to come back to work after a nice couple of days off. It just is! Especially if you can't get to sleep on Sunday nights, which I never can. I spent half of yesterday at work groggy and cranky and the other half just insane...I will explain later, and probably in WAY too much detail.

Mondays are a day when you come back to work, after a few days off, to a pile of work. And not just work that you had from the previous week....you also come back to work usually with your voice mail full of messages from over the weekend, most of them "urgent" calls. What "urgent" means, however, varies from person to person. To some people, "urgent" is something like when their house is on fire or they are having a heart attack. To others, however, it means something like they can't find their other shoe or they got a splinter in their finger. What bugs me is that people KNOW we are closed on the weekends, yet they leave like 5 messages on a Saturday expecting you to magically pick up and call them, even though you don't even have access to your voice mail. A psychic friend I am not. And if it really WERE urgent, I am sure the police or the fire department is who they should be calling. Not me. I am not trained in search and rescue. Sorry folks, can't help you there. Nor can I find your shoe. I don't even know what they look like.

Mondays are a day, also, when you just don't want to be at work. I don't know if it is psychological or what. I think it is just knowing that for the next 4 or 5 days, you are going to have to rise and shine earlier than you would like to and stay indoors at work all day long when you could be doing something fun, like playing baseball, or going to a movie, or sleeping, or looking for your shoes. Who wants to be cooped up indoors when there are things to do which are a lot more fun than sitting at a desk. What could possibly be more fun than sitting at a desk for 9 or 10 hours a day? Oh, I don't know. I spend most of my day at a desk. Who knows what fun really feels like.

I also usually come home from work on Mondays with a headache. Headaches...the gift that keeps on giving. Screw Tylenol! Bring on the pain! Oh joy. What fun it is to be sitting at a desk all day long, dreaming about what fun used to feel like, with a throbbing head and answering calls from people who can't find their shoes! Oh yeah! I can't think of a better way to spend the day. No sir, I can't.

Yeah, yesterday I went from sleepy to insane in a matter of hours. Where else but work can you get that kind of excitement? I started the morning pretty well. Just sleepy from my lack of sleep the night before, but I drank a caffeine cocktail (aka Pepsi) and all was getting better. Then after lunch, things got ugly. Yeah, I was awake by then, but then the wrath of C (names are changed to protect the innocent) came down on me and I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid. One look at her cases can strike fear and aggravation into the heart of even the most patient of people, like me. She had the case from hell. I am talking the 7th layer of hell here. Yeah, it was that bad. I think I even saw that 3-headed dog from hell, Cerberus, on one of the forms in the case folder. Or maybe that was just a hallucination. I hope it was. I think we worked on that puppy from about 2:30 to after 5 pm and it STILL was messed up. Which means that Monday's work is going to flow into today's work, which is like extending the Monday. How wrong is that?! The computer was not computing the income right, and that is math, and math and I don't get along. I looked at that case over and over again like 5-6 times and by that time, everything looked the same. 2's started to look like 5's and 7's started to look like 9's. Day became night...night became day. Summer became winter (which in this building is not hard to fathom since it is freezing in here!!). My eyes fell out of focus and I about passed out. Not just from all the confusion in the case, but because C kept asking me, "Why is it doing that?" I wanted so badly to shake her and say , " I DON'T KNOW! That's what I keep saying!!!!!!!!" But I didn't. I don't think I had enough energy left in me to even muster a slight chokehold let alone a tight stranglehold. The girl, and I know she is trying otherwise I would have already KILLED her, drives me nuts! I tell her step by step how to do something and 2 minutes later she is asking me how to do it again. And it is not just once. I can tell her how to do the same thing 10 times and she will still forget how to do it! And then she keeps asking me, "Now why are we doing this?" and "How do you do that again?" I want to beat someone senseless, but sadly my brother is at work. Sigh. I am getting another headache just thinking about it. It aggravates me because it makes me feel like she isn't even listening to a word I say. It is like it goes in one ear and out someone else's. The girl can't retain information for even a minute. She is gonna have trouble someday if she ever gets Alzheimer's. Seriously! Maybe she has early onset Alzheimer's or something. Or maybe, just a case of "the stupids." Heck, even I get the stupids sometimes. But is only temporary, and not chronic like some people.

So, here it is Tuesday today, and the storm that was Monday has passed, leaving my twisted, messed up brain in its wake. My head is still hurting despite downing 2 Tylenol Pm's last night. I hope C does not bring me another jacked up case like that today. I need at least a week to recover from that mind numbing experience. My brain has been traumatized by all of this. Now if only I could find my shoe....