I got your phallus right here

Just when I thought I had heard the lamest new story ever (see previous blog post on the Boston "bomb scare"), I hear something even lamer.

Well, now some "sharp-eyed" critics are saying that Prince's half-time show was, how shall I put this.....phallically tainted.

(is phallically even a word? If not, it should be)

Well this whole thing came about because of this image:



It seems some dumbasses say that the way Prince held his guitar makes it look like he is holding a giant penis. Ummmm....since when do penises have sharp pointy ends and have skinny "j" shaped balls???? Someone needs to go back to sex-education. Or just go on the internet and do a search for "penis." I am almost positive you will find something that way.

Now, I am not a Prince fan. I didn't even watch the Super Bowl (gasp!). But this is just so idiotic that I had to blog about it.

People are just super-sensitive or are so bored that they have to invent things to complain about. Next thing you know, someone will say that they can't pledge their allegiance to the flag because the flagpole looks like a giant penis. Or they can't eat oranges cuz they look like the boobs (or maybe like the boobs of an Oompa Loompa). Or the reason they can't go grocery shopping is because everything in the fruits and veggies section looks like boobs, penises, balls or vaginas. Good lord people! Are you such sexual deviants that EVERYTHING you look at reminds you of sex???

Well, I admit that I think like that, but that is beside the point.

Besides, you don't hear me complaining about Prince's guitar now, do you?

I am gonna write someone and complain about Rosie O'Donnell. She reminds me of an asshole.

And add Kevin Federline to that letter. He is a dick. Get rid of those people. Just stop them! They are causing irreparable harm to my psyche. (that sounded pretty sophisticated, huh)

When you get down to it, perception is all in the eye of the beholder. If you see a mountain out in the distance, you might see it as a mountain, while someone else will see it as a hill. And then the perverts will see boobs or an ass. Some crazy person may tell you it is a giant orangutan holding a banana.

We shouldn't be worried about Prince and his guitar. We should be worried about all these perverts out there who looked at a guitar and saw a penis.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.