You Know You're From Bakersfield When....

You will park a mile away from the entrance just to have your car parked under a tree.

Instead of people thinking youre "rich" for having leather seats, they think youre stupid.

You laugh when people complain about 95 degree weather.

You're bored one day, and decide to go to 6 Flags Magic Mountain.

You're not worried about the big "California fires" cause by the time it gets any closer, they close the Grapevine.

You've seen the "Stairway to Heaven of lights" while coming back to Bako at night on the Grapevine.

You know what "White, Ming, Rosedale, Calloway, and Panama" mean

When you go out of town & you see a sign saying "Union Ave" you expect to see a hooker.

Rosedale is a world all its own.

Rosedale ALSO needs to be turned into a sitcom.

You remember the TWO times in the last 25 years that it snowed in Bakersfield, and you remember everything you did that snow day.


Everyone always says they're going to leave, but you know that if you try, you get sucked right back in.

You take the "California Roll" at a stop sign to a whole new level.

You know where all the "haunted houses" are when Halloween comes around

You know what an "08er is", where "the Dale" is, and what a "Dalion" is.

And then people who actually MADE it out of this city sit here & laugh at these because they know they're TRUE.

One of your friends owns a house on a spot where you had field parties in high school.

You know the ingredients in a George's Special, or have ever had a "Black and White" for lunch.

You get mad every time you see "Best of Times" when Taft wins at the end. ...or... you get mad every time you see "Best of Times" because who the heck are the Bakersfield Tigers?

You comment on how expensive Mexican food is in any other city in the country.

You have ever offered someone a Dewar's Chew from a bowl on your coffee table.

You claim to hate LA but go there at least every other month.

You have ever debated the merits of water skiing at Lake Ming versus Buena Vista.

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a tri-tip comes from.

You think beans and salsa go with everything.

You think a restaurant is chintzy if it doesn't come with soup, salad, spaghetti, and fries.

You think a red light is just a suggestion.

The best restaurants in town serve pickled tongue.

You think $400 a month for rent is way too high.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You know the pool can be warmer than you are.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

Anywhere that takes longer than a 10 minute drive is way too far.

You think you're better than people from Fresno.

Someone mentions "the fair" and your thoughts turn to Cinnamon Buns, First Christian Church corn on the cob, and Boy Scout potatoes.

You have to "explain" to someone about Beach Park.

You complain about how boring Bakersfield is, but still make fun of people from Delano, Taft and Tehachapi.

Someone from out of town talks about how foggy it is and you tell them, "Just wait."

You swear that just last week there was an orchard where there is now a whole development of houses.

You drive just as fast on a on a foggy day in December as you do sunny day in June.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Bakersfield..