He's Popeye the E.Coli man.
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Random Fact of The Day
Tipping is virtually non-existent in Japanese restaurants. Gratitude is normally shown by gift-giving,
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes."
Stupid News Story of The Day
(They could, and they did.)
"Catch Me If You Can" thief jailed
SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian woman nicknamed the "Catch Me if You Can" thief was jailed for four years on Friday after an audacious crime spree across eastern Australia.
Jody Harris, 28, taunted police to try and catch her, telephoning detectives and offering up false promises to turn herself in before police finally trapped her in a "sting" operation in July.
Harris pleaded guilty to 43 of 124 identity fraud charges after the eight-month fling. She was ordered to repay A$175,000 ($132,560) in compensation to banks caught up in her crimes.
Local media dubbed Harris the "Catch Me If You Can" thief after the movie in which actor Leonardo DiCaprio played a master conman.
Magistrate Allan Moore told Sydney's Central Local Court that Harris was intelligent but her scams were not very sophisticated.
"One would have to suggest strongly that this is a matter of greed by you," Australian Associated Press quoted Moore as telling the court.
Harris stole credit cards and identity documents such as driver's licences and tricked bank staff into giving her access to the accounts of at least 33 women whose identities she assumed.
Harris even rang some of her victims, posing as fraud police to ask for new personal identity numbers when the old numbers lapsed.
Harris is still wanted in Queensland and Victoria states and could face more charges there once her sentence in New South Wales has been served.
She will be eligible for parole in July 2010.
($1=A$1.32)
Friday, September 22, 2006
Caption This!
Do you want fries with your haircut?
post your own funny comment in a caption if you wanna.
Random Fact of The Day
The oldest known living organism on earth is the Methuselah tree, a Bristlecone Pine tree, located in the White Mountains of eastern California. It is estimated to be some 4,700 years old.
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"Turbulence: This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along, and there will be an enormous, shuddering WHUMP, and clearly the plane has rammed into an airborne object at least the size of a water buffalo, and the pilot will say, "Folks, we're encountering a little turbulence." Meanwhile they are up there in the cockpit trying desperately to clean water buffalo organs off the windshield. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Hit that bong, baby.)
Mom properly jailed for letting baby smoke dope
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A Montana mother who allowed her 18-month-old baby daughter to inhale from a marijuana water pipe on several occasions was properly convicted, but should not have to spend five years in jail, a U.S. appeals court ruled on Friday.
Jessica Durham was photographed allowing her toddler Michala to suck from a marijuana water pipe, also known as a bong, in 2004 by a friend upset about the activity.
"Ms. Durham allegedly remarked that smoking improved Michala's appetite and left Michala lethargic and mellow - a manner she found consistent with her own experience smoking marijuana," Judge Louis Pollak of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals wrote in summarising the case.
In 2005, a lower court sentenced Durham to five years in prison for unlawful marijuana distribution. She appealed both the conviction and the sentence.
In its ruling on Friday, a three-judge panel of the 9th Circuit upheld the conviction but said the sentence exceeded the applicable federal law which calls for punishment of no more than two years in prison.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Random Fact of The Day
The foggiest place in the world is the Grand banks off the island of Newfoundland, Canada. Fog is frequent here as the Grand Banks is the meeting place of the cold Labrador Current from the north and the much warmer Gulf Stream from the south.
from Wikipedia.com
from Wikipedia.com
Funny Stuff From Dave Barry
"American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Don't you think it would have been easier just to call in sick?)
Man gets jail for fake newspaper obit
WATERLOO, Iowa - A northeast Iowa man who filed a fake obituary with a newspaper is headed to jail. James Snyder, of Stout, was accused of submitting the obituary for his girlfriend's 17-year-old son to the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier last December to get out of work.
The obituary said the teen died after a lengthy illness.
Snyder was charged with tampering with records. On Monday, he entered an Alford plea, and was sentenced to a year in jail — suspended to seven days.
Under an Alford plea, he admits no guilt, but agrees prosecutors had enough evidence to convict him.
The teen's mother, Mary Jo Elizabeth, was charged with accessory after the fact. She was sentenced in June to 30 days in jail, which was suspended to a year's probation.
The scam was discovered when people who knew the teen saw him at Waterloo restaurant and called authorities.
___
Information from: Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier, http://www.wcfcourier.com
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Random Thought For The Day
I saw a commercial for Quizno's today that said that if you weren't 100% satisfied with their subs, that they would give you a free sub. Which got me to thinking....if you aren't satisfied with the sub the first time, why would you want another one? And if you aren't satisfied with that one, will they give you another free one???
Stupid News Story of The Day
(A bite for a bite...)
Panda bites man, man bites him back
BEIJING - A drunken Chinese migrant worker jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo, was bitten by the bear and retaliated by chomping down on the animal's back, state media said Wednesday.
Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.
"He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand," and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said.
The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.
"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."
Other tourists yelled for a zookeeper, who got the panda under control by spraying it with water, reports said. Zhang was hospitalized.
Newspaper photographs showed Zhang lying on a hospital bed with blood-soaked bandages and a seam of stitches running down his leg.
The Beijing Youth Daily quoted Zhang as saying that he had seen pandas on television and "they seemed to get along well with people."
"No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang said. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much."
Ye Mingxia, a spokeswoman for the Beijing Zoo, confirmed the incident happened but would not give any details. She said Gu Gu was "healthy."
"We're not considering punishing him now," Ye said in a telephone interview. "He's suffered quite a bit of shock."
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
It wasn't my fault. The speech wasn't there. I swear!
I am blogging at night. What...have I gone nuts? I am, by nature, a morning blogger. I like to start my day by airing my dirty laundry first thing in the morning. But I have been reduced to night blogging. Why? Because at work nowadays, I actually have to...gasp...WORK. What a concept!
Actually, all this work business is actually going ok. I feel more in my element helping out with training the new hire class. Honestly, I was pretty nervous about having to get up in front of the class and having to speak. I HATE public speaking. But, in this case, I actually know what I am talking about, so the pressure is off. WHEW! (Back in high school, I had to make a speech at graduation cuz I was the class Salutatorian, but after I flubbed my speech, everyone was probably either thinking "What the hell were they thinking when they made HER Salutatorian?" or "Awww...how nice. They made a retard the class Salutatorian.") But come when we have to talk about cash aid....well, let's just say I don't have much knowledge on that program. But the trainer does, so we are cool there. Cuz if I have to teach anything about cash aid, the whole class is screwed - lol. Hopefully, I will learn some stuff about cash aid in the process. I hate not knowing everything - hehe.
Back to the high school speech....I have an excuse. I wrote the speech out on paper and gave it to someone who was SUPPOSED to put it on the podium so when I got up there, it would be there. But when I got up there, it was nowhere to be found. To this day, I have no idea what happened to it.
But I digress. I had to clear that up. I am not "special." I just have a bad memory. And an eternal case of bad luck.
Anyway, it is only 2 days into the training class, and who knows what will happen in the next 7 weeks, but it is off to a good start. We have a good group of people who all seem eager to learn all of this stuff required for the job. Which is good, cuz if the class was all bored stiff, I would be bored too. And we can't have me nodding off during class now, can we? ;)
Actually, all this work business is actually going ok. I feel more in my element helping out with training the new hire class. Honestly, I was pretty nervous about having to get up in front of the class and having to speak. I HATE public speaking. But, in this case, I actually know what I am talking about, so the pressure is off. WHEW! (Back in high school, I had to make a speech at graduation cuz I was the class Salutatorian, but after I flubbed my speech, everyone was probably either thinking "What the hell were they thinking when they made HER Salutatorian?" or "Awww...how nice. They made a retard the class Salutatorian.") But come when we have to talk about cash aid....well, let's just say I don't have much knowledge on that program. But the trainer does, so we are cool there. Cuz if I have to teach anything about cash aid, the whole class is screwed - lol. Hopefully, I will learn some stuff about cash aid in the process. I hate not knowing everything - hehe.
Back to the high school speech....I have an excuse. I wrote the speech out on paper and gave it to someone who was SUPPOSED to put it on the podium so when I got up there, it would be there. But when I got up there, it was nowhere to be found. To this day, I have no idea what happened to it.
But I digress. I had to clear that up. I am not "special." I just have a bad memory. And an eternal case of bad luck.
Anyway, it is only 2 days into the training class, and who knows what will happen in the next 7 weeks, but it is off to a good start. We have a good group of people who all seem eager to learn all of this stuff required for the job. Which is good, cuz if the class was all bored stiff, I would be bored too. And we can't have me nodding off during class now, can we? ;)
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