| You Were a Dog |
 You are an excellent companion and a loyal friend. A good protector, you smell trouble before it arrives. |
Friday, February 02, 2007
Woof woof
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
More things that annoy me
1) McDonald's - I went to McDonald's tonight after work to get me some dinner, cuz, well, I avoid having to cook as much as possible, and they gave me no ketchup. In fact, the last 3 times I have gone to Mickey D's, they have given me no ketchup. What is there? Some worldwide ketchup packet shortage? They never give you ketchup (at least in this town), and when you ask for it, they look at you like you just asked them for their kidney.
2) Horror movie trailers that make the movie look scarier than it actually is
3) The undead - they move too slowly, they look just awful and, well, they are undead. Some of them work in my building.
4) People who try to multi-task while they drive - Wherever you are going, you can do your makeup when you get there. No one is going to say "Damn. She went out without any eyeliner," when you are being hauled into the hospital on a stretcher because your muti-tasking ass was too busy looking at your eyes rather than watching where the hell you were driving.
5) Technology - It moves too fast. They just unleashed Windows Vista today. By tomorrow, it will be obsolete.
6) Rosie O'Donnell - I don't think I need to explain this one. I mean, she's Rosie. She's annoying! She never shuts up.
7) Polka music - it makes me want to dance. And no one needs to see that.
8) American Idol contestants whose excuses for why they sucked so bad is because they were "nervous." All nervousness aside, you still suck!
9) People who tell you they are going to do something, then flake out on you.
10) Mor Furniture commercials. Damn Forbes Riley! Damn her! (you have to live around here to get this one)
2) Horror movie trailers that make the movie look scarier than it actually is
3) The undead - they move too slowly, they look just awful and, well, they are undead. Some of them work in my building.
4) People who try to multi-task while they drive - Wherever you are going, you can do your makeup when you get there. No one is going to say "Damn. She went out without any eyeliner," when you are being hauled into the hospital on a stretcher because your muti-tasking ass was too busy looking at your eyes rather than watching where the hell you were driving.
5) Technology - It moves too fast. They just unleashed Windows Vista today. By tomorrow, it will be obsolete.
6) Rosie O'Donnell - I don't think I need to explain this one. I mean, she's Rosie. She's annoying! She never shuts up.
7) Polka music - it makes me want to dance. And no one needs to see that.
8) American Idol contestants whose excuses for why they sucked so bad is because they were "nervous." All nervousness aside, you still suck!
9) People who tell you they are going to do something, then flake out on you.
10) Mor Furniture commercials. Damn Forbes Riley! Damn her! (you have to live around here to get this one)
Monday, January 29, 2007
Random Fact of The Day
Dueling is legal in Paraguay, as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. "
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Two wrongs don't make a right.)
Delayed convict steals car to get back to jail
DUBLIN, Jan 25 (Reuters Life!) - An Irish convict who stole a car to get back to prison after missing a weekend release deadline has been given a six month suspended jail sentence.
Trevor Doyle, 25, grabbed the vehicle after falling asleep on a bus and overshooting his stop near Shelton Abbey open prison in Arklow on Ireland's southeast coast, Wexford district court officials said Thursday.
The court, which would not reveal the man's prior conviction, also fined him 300 euros ($390) for failing to submit to a breathalyzer test.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Bork bork bork!
| You Are the Swedish Chef |
 "Bork! Bork! Bork!" Your happy and energetic - with borderline manic tendencies. No one really gets you. And frankly, you don't even get you. But, you sure can whip up a great chocolate mousse |
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Questions to ponder
Why do they call it "common sense?" There's no such thing as common sense. If it was so common, more people would have it.
And why do they call it "nonsense" when EVERYONE has that.
Common sense should tell you that nonsense makes more sense.
Did that make any sense?
And why do they call it "nonsense" when EVERYONE has that.
Common sense should tell you that nonsense makes more sense.
Did that make any sense?
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Random Fact of The Day
The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means 'to exercise naked.'
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Leave science to the hyenas.)
Scientists can't get sloth to move
JENA, Germany - Scientists in the eastern German city of Jena said Wednesday they have finally given up after three years of failed attempts to entice a sloth into budging as part of an experiment in animal movement.
The sloth, named Mats, was remanded to a zoo after consistently refusing to climb up and then back down a pole, as part of an experiment conducted by scientists at the University of Jena's Institute of Systematic Zoology and Evolutionary Biology.
Neither pounds of cucumbers nor plates of homemade spaghetti were appetizing enough to make Mats move.
"Mats obviously wanted absolutely nothing to do with furthering science," said Axel Burchardt, a university spokesman.
Mats' new home is the zoo in the northwestern city of Duisburg where, according to all reports, he is very comfortable.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"Most vitamin pills don't have names or trademarks on them; they're just plain-looking unmarked pills. And if you're traveling with a lot of vitamins, and in order to save space you've put them all in one big jar, you have no way of proving what they are. If, for instance, the police should search your suitcase, all they're going to know is that you have a big jar of unmarked pills. And should they be in the mood to break your balls, they can hold you for twenty-four hours while they 'send these little things down to the lab and see what we've got here.' And you wind up in jail overnight for no reason at all.
That's why I always travel with Flintstone vitamins. Not only do Flintstone vitamins contain all the vital nutrients kids need each day, they also keep grownups out of jail."
That's why I always travel with Flintstone vitamins. Not only do Flintstone vitamins contain all the vital nutrients kids need each day, they also keep grownups out of jail."
Random Fact of The Day
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado!
Stupid News Story of The Day
(Polly wanna cracker?)
Man arrested for smuggling 500 parrots in a car
ALMATY (Reuters) - Kazakh border guards arrested a man trying to smuggle 500 parrots in his car from neighbouring Uzbekistan, media reported on Tuesday.
"Border guards discovered a live cargo of 500 parrots in his car," Kazakhstan Today news agency quoted a KNB security service official as saying.
It was unclear how the parrots fitted into the Kazakh man's Audi. Trade in wild parrots is banned around the world, according to the U.N. Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Caption This!
Damn! Why didn't someone tell me that my butt was this big?
post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.
Funny Stuff From George Carlin
"Every sixty seconds, thirty acres of rain forest are destroyed in order to raise beef for fast-food restaurants that sell it to people, giving them strokes and heart attacks, which raise medical costs and insurance rates, providing insurance companies with more money to invest in large corporations that branch out further into the Third World so they can destroy more rain forests."
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