Funny Stuff From George Carlin

"I don't like it when I'm in an audience and the emcee tells us to give someone a welcome specific to that city. 'Let's all get together and give this little lady a nice Toledo welcome.' I've often thought if I were from Toledo it would be fun now and then to give someone a Baltimore welcome, just to break the emcee's balls. Or maybe slip in an exotic Budapest welcome when no one is expecting it. One thing I would never do is give someone a Dallas welcome. That's what JFK got. Dallas welcomes don't last too long."