Don't Touch This !

Ok....let me start off by saying that fibromyalgia SUCKS ASS ! Sorry, but there is no eloquent way to put it. I could think of a few more 4-letter words to stick in there, but I will refrain from doing so...for now. Today has been one of the worse days. I knew it was going to be a bad day from the moment I got out of bed. I could not sleep last nite, so I woke up all groggy and feeling downright bad. But I really knew today was going to be an "F" day ("f" is for fibromyalgia, by the way), when I lightly bumped my arm up against the wall, and it hurt like someone had just poked me with a hot poker. There really is no way to explain the pain, unless you have it yourself. It is a dull, throbbing, sometimes heated pain that seems to radiate throughout your body. I get fatigued very quickly and generally just feel like crud throughout the day. The cold is like murder to me....even the feel of a cold draft can cause intense pain. It is almost like a knife going through my body...not that I have ever had a knife go through my body...I can only imagine that that is what it feels like. I often get cranky, and people don't really know WHY I am so cranky. Well, let me just tell you that it is due to lack of sleep and pain. Sometimes just a friendly hug or pat on the back can send me to painsville. And I never want to say anything to people about it, for fear of hurting their feelings. Even just the feel of my shirt on my skin is painful at times. Now, the doctor says this a typical symptom of the big F, and he, of course, prescribed pain killers and even prozac to help with the pain and to help me sleep. I also have rheumatoid arthritis and/or lupus...the doctor isn't quite sure which one I have yet. I have been going to a rheumatologist for about 2 years now, and they still don't know what is wrong with me, only that I am borderline anemic and have something in my body that is causing inflammation....a great deal of inflammation. So, for now, I will have to do my best to muddle through the bad days and make sure the good days are as good as I can make them, for they are few and far between.