Funny stuff from George Carlin ...

from my desk calendar....

"Once a year they should have No Hairpiece Day. So everyone could see what all these baldy-headed, fake-hair jerks really look like."

"You know what bothers me? People who want to know the time. They'll say, "Do you have the time?" And I say, "No. I don't believe I do. I certainly didn't have it this morning when I left the house. Could you possibly have left it somewhere? You know, now that you mention it, I believe the Navy has the time. In Washington. They keep it in an observatory or something, and they let a little out each day. Not too much, of course. Just enough. They wouldn't want to give us too much time; we might not use it wisely."