BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO TRAVELING BY AIR
"JOKING AROUND WITH THE SECURITY PERSONNEL: Airport security personnel are a wacky and fun-loving group who are bored to death from spending eight hours a day reminding morons to have their boarding passes and photo IDs ready. There is nothing they enjoy more than a good joke or prank, such as the one where you give a victim a can that says 'peanut brittle,' and when he opens it, giant spring-loaded worms come shooting out. Ha ha! That always sets off a round of hearty knee-slapping at the checkpoint. Yes, if you just use your common sense this vacation season, instead of wasting your summer waiting in long hectic lines at the airport, you can spend your time relaxing in the quiet privacy of your federal detention cell. Which is just as well, because your flight was canceled."
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