Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Another Christmas is looming and this husband, terrified that he will screw up again, has been wracking his brain for gift ideas for his wife. Nothing automotive this time: He won't make THAT mistake again! He's thinking something more romantic, like maybe a Weed Whacker. But he's not sure. He's a nervous wreck. A lot of us men are. That's why we buy gifts at the very last minute, or, optionally, never. It's not that we're thoughtless jerks! Well, OK, thoughtless. But not jerks! We're doing our best to get through a stressful season. So on behalf of all men, I ask you women to cut us some slack and accept us for the imperfect beings that we are compared to you; and above all, in the spirit of that great Christmas carol, bring us some figgy pudding."