I have no comment....

...other than American Idol voters suck! Sure they got it right when they voted off Alaina and Nick, but they left that horrible Sanjaya and the out-of-tune Antonella in. What the hell is wrong with people? Can't they hear??

I'm done. I have nothing left to say about that.

I am tired, so this is gonna be quick

American Idol......I have one word for you.......Melinda. She was amazing. She should win the whole competition.

Gina, Lakeisha, Jordin, Stephanie and Sabrina were also good. Leslie was ok.

Who sucked? Alaina, Antonella and Haley.

Who should go home? Alaina and Antonella.

Who the voters will pick to go home? Alaina and Haley.

Those are my predictions. And I am sticking to them.

I didn't even get to watch "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" cuz I fell asleep. But after watching it last night, I already know the answer to that one.

And it is a resounding "no."

That's all I have for tonight. I am beat. I am off to bed.

A better Idol than last week

The guys pulled themselves out of the gutter that was last week's American Idol. They were much better this week than last week...much better. After watching the guys last week, I was ready to just up and give up on AI this season.The first guy, Phil, did a good rendition of "Missing You," which was good, cuz had he sucked, I probably would have changed the channel. AJ, Chris S, Blake and Sundance were good. I think Sundance and Chris S had the best performances of the night. As Randy says, they "brought down the house." Chris S, despite looking a lot like Jack Osbourne, has a really good voice. And Sundance finally showed everyone why he was chosen in the first place.

There were some yawners and one downright horrible performance tonite though. Nick Pedro was just ok. Nothing special. Just ok. And Brandon, although I love his voice...."Time After Time" just wasn't working for him. It was ....yawn...boring. Jared was ok. Not bad...not great. And Chris R, who everyone was so gung-ho for (even Simon said he was good), I thought was not that great. Sure he picked a difficult song, but I thought he was off key and flat throughout the entire song. But Sunjaya....oh good lord. He was horrible. Just terrible. He needs to go home.

If I had to call it, Sunjaya and Nick should go. But since the girls probably think Nick is just like "so cute," he will probably stay and Brandon will go. But it was he who picked that boring song to sing.

After AI was over, I sat and watched "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" , and let me tell you something. I have never felt more stupid in my life than I did when I was watching that show. After not knowing the 1st question....what month do we celebrate Columbus Day in (I guessed November and it was October)...and not having the slightest clue who was the 1st president to be impeached (it was Andrew Johnson, and I thought it was Richard Nixon - LOL ...all the kids got the right answer, of course), I felt like a total idiot. But, I did get all of the other answers right, including the math one, which surprised me as I probably operate at a 1st grade level at math. And being as lousy at math as I am, answering a 3rd grade math question right was like winning an Olympic gold medal to me. After watching that show, I was left wondering just how I made it through school.

Craft Time

I made these two pictures for my best friend for her birthday. She just had a baby girl, so I thought they would look cute in the baby's room.

I bought 2 frames at Marshalls...they were pretty beaten up so they were on clearance... some frabric and ribbon at one of our local fabric stores, and used a glue gun and the fabric to fashion the "curtains", to give the illusion of a "window." Then I created two pictures (consisting of 4 3 1/2" x 3 1/2" pieces) on Photoshop, using some actions by Atomic Cupcake. The theme I used was "Little Bo Peep." I wanted a nursery rhyme for the pictures...one I thought I could create on Photoshop. The sheep were easy. So was the tree, hill, fence, sky, clouds....everything but Little Bo Peep herself - lol. She was a bit of a challenge. But I think, overall, it came out really cute.

And The Oscar Goes To.....

Well, the Oscars just finished up. No big surprises in the best actor or actress category (Helen Mirren and Forest Whitaker won). But I was surprised....pleasantly surprised, that Alan Arkin won for best supporting actor for his role in Little Miss Sunshine. I love Alan Arkin. He was just spot-on as the cranky grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine. Kudos to him! I was hoping that Ryan Gosling or Peter O'Toole would have won for best actor, but oh well. Ryan Gosling was outstanding in Half Nelson, which was a great movie too by the way. One of the best I have seen this year. I was also hoping Little Miss Sunshine would have won for best picture. I haven't seen The Departed (I just bought it last week), but I knew it and Babel (which I also haven't seen but also own in my video library) were the heavy favorites, and I am always rooting for the underdog. I loved Little Miss Sunshine. It was hilarious, yet had its touching moments. And I absolutely loved the ending ... that dance has me laughing so hard I thought I would rupture something. I also loved how it made fun of beauty pageants for kids...did you see the way they were made up to look like adults??? Gross!!! Anyway, I was rooting for it to win. But it did win 2 awards...for best supporting actor and for best original screenplay.Woo hoo! I was also happy that Martin Scorcese won for best director. It is about time!! Of course, I love Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven is probably my 3rd favorite film of all time), but he already has some Oscars. Kudos to Scorcese. It is about friggin' time he won.

I was also surprised by The Oscars themselves. Ellen did a pretty good job of hosting....and I loved the song that Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C O'Reilly did. Hilarious! And those shadow dancers. How the hell did they do that???

But I sure got sick and tired of seeing damned Al Bore...Gore. Maybe I am still just annoyed by his wife's past stance on censorship and all. He tried to be funny, but it just fell flat. I just can't look at him without thinking of him in that South Park episode. I wanted him to shout out, "Manbearpig is dead!" Now THAT would have been funny!

Speaking of South Park, new episodes begin in 2 weeks. Sweet!

And my friend Arlene has complained about how I still have hearts on my AIM icon and on my Myspace blog and all, but don't expect me to be changing my template just for you. It is still February....and whatevah...it is my blog, I can do what I want!

Remember Wooly Willy?

Well here is my version of Wooly Britney (now I just need to find a way to make it so you can actually draw on it - lol)

Now that Britney Spears is bald...

Here are some new hairdo's I think would look "interesting" on her...



Carrot Top Spears


That crazy-dessed woman from the Grammy's


Britney meets Don King


Britney Trump


Britney Washington (in honor, or dishonor, of President's Day)


The new Britney Spears troll doll


Mrs Brit Miser (She's too much)


The Britney Hawk


Britbacca


Well, they all look better than this!



Britney, you are nuts!

(Photoshop is so much fun - hehe)

Happy Valentine's Day

Like my cute lil Valentine pup I made on Photoshop? hehe

Email woes

I hate Yahoo. I want to destroy it. My email account is f 'ed up right now, so if anyone has emailed me lately and I haven't responded, it is not because I am ignoring you (I know Arlene is thinking that I am, but I'm not, you goober), it is because I cannot get my emails. I know they are there, but I can't SEE them in my inbox. I have written to Yahoo's customer support, but have yet to get a response. So if you want to email me, for now, use my other email account.

I HATE YAHOO!


- and oh yeah... I updated my blog so that it is not Christmassy anymore. Are you happy Arlene????

Because I have a sentimental side, too

Love is......

1) A big bag of Cappuccino Jelly Belly jelly beans
2) Fresh cut Gerbera daisies
3) A phone call....just because
4) A homemade greeting card
5) Teddy bears!
6) An all day South Park marathon
7) A warm sunset
8) Cumfy PJ's
9) Dewar's Caramel Chews - mmmmmmmm
10) A smile

I got your phallus right here

Just when I thought I had heard the lamest new story ever (see previous blog post on the Boston "bomb scare"), I hear something even lamer.

Well, now some "sharp-eyed" critics are saying that Prince's half-time show was, how shall I put this.....phallically tainted.

(is phallically even a word? If not, it should be)

Well this whole thing came about because of this image:



It seems some dumbasses say that the way Prince held his guitar makes it look like he is holding a giant penis. Ummmm....since when do penises have sharp pointy ends and have skinny "j" shaped balls???? Someone needs to go back to sex-education. Or just go on the internet and do a search for "penis." I am almost positive you will find something that way.

Now, I am not a Prince fan. I didn't even watch the Super Bowl (gasp!). But this is just so idiotic that I had to blog about it.

People are just super-sensitive or are so bored that they have to invent things to complain about. Next thing you know, someone will say that they can't pledge their allegiance to the flag because the flagpole looks like a giant penis. Or they can't eat oranges cuz they look like the boobs (or maybe like the boobs of an Oompa Loompa). Or the reason they can't go grocery shopping is because everything in the fruits and veggies section looks like boobs, penises, balls or vaginas. Good lord people! Are you such sexual deviants that EVERYTHING you look at reminds you of sex???

Well, I admit that I think like that, but that is beside the point.

Besides, you don't hear me complaining about Prince's guitar now, do you?

I am gonna write someone and complain about Rosie O'Donnell. She reminds me of an asshole.

And add Kevin Federline to that letter. He is a dick. Get rid of those people. Just stop them! They are causing irreparable harm to my psyche. (that sounded pretty sophisticated, huh)

When you get down to it, perception is all in the eye of the beholder. If you see a mountain out in the distance, you might see it as a mountain, while someone else will see it as a hill. And then the perverts will see boobs or an ass. Some crazy person may tell you it is a giant orangutan holding a banana.

We shouldn't be worried about Prince and his guitar. We should be worried about all these perverts out there who looked at a guitar and saw a penis.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I am glad I stayed awake this time...

I just watched The Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central. (I missed it last week cuz lazy ass me fell asleep!)....damned funny show. Laughed my sleepy ass off. Finally, another tv show worth watching. Just thought I would pass that on before I crash.

Me so sleepy.

It's a mad, Mooninite world

Ok. This has got to be the official lamest news story in the whole entire universe of stupid news stories. And being that some of those news stories have involved Britney Spears, that is saying a lot!

(And yes Jeff, I know you already blogged about this, but it is my turn now.)

Turner Broadcasting agrees to pay $2 million
By Mac Daniel, Globe Staff

Attorney General Martha Coakley announced this morning that Turner Broadcasting System will pay $2 million in restitution and other compensation for last week's bomb scares that paralyzed parts of the Boston region.

(there was more to this story, but I don't want to post it. It is just too stupid.")

Anyway, it seems some people posted some signs that look like this



around Boston, as an ad campaign for Cartoon Network's coolest show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (hey, it is the coolest show - Frylock rocks!)

Well, some stupid assholes around town reported the signs as "suspicious devices" to the police, who sent out bomb squads to check them out. What started out as an ad campaign, ended up as mass paranoia, as the police shut down subways, closed freeways, etc.

Now, these signs were posted around in 10 other cities some 2-3 weeks before this incident in Boston, but did you hear anything on the news about it? No. Because they did not perceive them as a threat, or were "obviously not suspicious."

Granted in a post 9-11 America, people are overly cautious, but hell, it looked like a lite-brite! And it was a Mooninite not Osama Bin Laden.

It is just so idiotic that people actually thought that a lite-brite-like sign was a bomb. And even more idiotic was the police response to the "threat." At least take a look at one of them before you declare it a bomb threat and create mass hysteria.

If people can look at a sign like that and think it is a threat (I assume they thought the fact that the Mooninite was giving us the finger...something he always does at the beginning of the tv show ... is a threat), I wonder what will be next.

"Oh look at this milk carton I found on the sidewalk. I better report it. There is a picture of missing kids on the carton. Must mean that there is going to be a mass kidnapping" Better get the police!!!!!!!!"

People, just stop it!

on a completely unrelated note, here is a funny quote I saw on Doug Benson's blog (don't worry - he is a comedian, not a terrorist)

"HANNIBAL RISING

That's what Anthony Hopkins yells whenever he takes a Viagra."

That Doug Benson is one funny dude.

Oh, and on another completely unrelated note, I watched The Squid and The Whale this weekend. That was one awesomely-great movie. I highly recommend watching it. It was probably the best movie I had seen in a long, long, long time.

Yosemite - January 2007

I finally updated my travel blog with pics of my last trip to Yosemite. You can read all about it and see the pics by clicking HERE .

Phobia of The Day

Helminthophobia: fear of being infested with worms

Random Fact of The Day

The Giant South African Earthworm can grow up to 22 feet long and 1 inch thick.

Funny Stuff From George Carlin

You Know You're In A Small Town When:

- The restaurant closes at lunch so the waitress can go home and eat.

- The mayor's nickname is 'Greasy Dick' and besides appearing on the ballot, it also appears on his driver's license.

- The fashion boutique/post office is located in one corner of the hardware store between the used milking machines and the pay toilet.

Stupid News Story of The Day

(Oh the things people will do to look fabulous.)

Getting fabulous hair takes a bit of bull ... semen

LONDON (Reuters) - An upmarket London beauty salon says it can give your hair the ultimate shine by treating it with a mixture that includes semen from thoroughbred bulls.

Hari's in ritzy Chelsea offers a 45-minute "Aberdeen Organic Hair" treatment that involves massaging a protein-rich mixture of bull semen and a plant root into the client's hair, a spokeswoman told Reuters on Friday.

Owner Hari Salem told media that he tried hundreds of products -- including wild avocados and truffle oil -- before hitting on bull semen as the elusive element in a formula for making hair look gorgeous.

"The semen is refrigerated before use and doesn't smell," Salem told the Metro newspaper. "It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick."

He said the treatment will remain on offer providing the bulls can keep up the supply.

Caption This!

There it goes. There goes the last of my dignity.

Post your own funny caption in a comment if you wanna.

Woof woof

You Were a Dog

You are an excellent companion and a loyal friend. A good protector, you smell trouble before it arrives.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?