Monday, November 06, 2006

Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"So the documentary-makers stick with sharks. Generally, their procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as to infest the waters. I would estimate that the primary food source of sharks today is bleeding fish pieces scattered by people making documentaries. Once the sharks arrive, they are generally fairly listless. The general shark attitude seems to be: Oh God, another documentary. So the divers have to somehow goad them into attacking, under the guise of Scientific Research. We know very little about the effect of electricity on sharks, the narrator will say, in a deeply scientific voice. That is why Todd is going to jab this Great White in the testicles with a cattle prod. The divers keep this kind of thing up until the shark finally gets irritated and snaps at them, and then they act as though this was a totally unexpected and very dangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along."

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