Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"I am not a fan of those high-tech public toilets with the automatic sensors that either (a) become overexcited and flush themselves thirty-seven times before you even sit down, or (b) lapse into a coma, so that when you're done you find yourself waving your arms like a lunatic and loudly remarking, 'Well, I'm done!' in an effort to revive your toilet so it will flush and you can leave, while the people waiting in the stall wonder what kind of sick pervert thing you are doing in there."