"Love" is a 4-letter word

Being an adult can be frightening. It seems like we, as people, spend the first couple of decades trying to be older. We try to dress older, talk more grown-up, and wear high heels and ties, all to attain that one goal of looking older. As if somehow when someone told you that you look older, it was a compliment. I know, as a woman in her early 30's, that being told you look older is NOT a compliment. In fact, in some places, that might get you slapped across the face. Then, when we hit, oh around 25 or so, we turn it around and try to look younger. We buy face creams, dye our grey hairs away, get hair plugs for those receding hairlines...some even go as far as to get plastic surgery. It seems ironic that all that time and effort spent when we were younger on trying to look older is forgotten about when the wrinkles and grey hairs start appearing.

Everything it seems is easier when you are a kid. At least that is what we think as adults. I mean, when we were kids, all we had to do to let someone know we liked them, was to pull their hair, or hit them, or tease them. I am sure....no, positive, that , as an adult, if you were to do that to a person, you would get beaten up, or, more likely, sued for sexual harassment. The whole L-O-V-E issue was non-existant. Love was something you held for parents and grandparents (not for siblings....when you are a kid, it is almost mandatory that you HATE your siblings). For some reason, when you grow up, "love" becomes more of a 4-letter word...something you want to say, but are afraid that someone will hear you say it. When you are a kid, you love everyone. You love your mom...you love your dad...you love your puppy...you love your teacher. "Love" is a word without consequences when you are a kid. When you grow up, "love" becomes something else. It becomes something serious and mysterious, and bordering on insanity at times. Because, as an adult, you can't just poke someone in the arm and expect he or she to know that that means you like him/her. You actually have to get up the nerve to TELL and SHOW that person how you feel. And sometimes that actually requires WORK! What a concept! The thing that stops alot of people in their tracks is the fear that their feelings will be rejected, or even worse, laughed at. The fear of humiliation is now a factor, and the fear of humiliation is one of the biggest fears we as people have. Now, love has consequences, which is something you never had to deal with as a kid. You tell your grandma that you love her, and she tells you she loves you back...simple as that. But as an adult, we are faced with the very potentially humiliating task of saying "I love you" to the object of your affection, only to cringe and prepare for the worst..the dreaded "that's nice," or "thank you," or, even worse, "ditto." It seems so funny to me that something as wonderful as those 3 words can cause so much angst, fear and stress. It simply baffles me how 4 letters of the alphabet put together in a row can crate so much havoc. Of course, there is always the happy possibility that the feelings will be returned, and all will live happily ever after. Would be nice if it really happened that way, wouldn't it? But real life is not like that at all. Real life is having a boyfriend of a long time, who can't say the dreaded "L" word, but you stick around in hopes that maybe, perhaps, maybe, he will come to his senses and realize what a fool he has been. Real life is hearing your boyfriend tell you that he doesn't love you anymore, and yet STILL you still stick around in hopes that maybe he will change his mind. Real life is looking into a mirror and realizing that you are not the fairest one of them all....not even the fairest one of a few. Real life is questioning whether something is wrong with you, and THAT is why you are no longer loved. Real life is loving a person so much that it hurts to be away from him/her. To be honest, real life sucks....really.

Yeah, being older does have its downfalls, but then again, it has a lot of ups too. It just may take longer to find them. And being a kid is fine one time around, but looking back, I don't think I could do it again. School was too brutal...too humiliating...too scary. But we got through it ok. And I think that if you can make it through something as humiliating as school, then getting through saying those 3 little words should be a piece of cake.