Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Every man knows he needs a bigger TV. But you-know-who is standing in his way: The same 'Negative Nelly' who always tries to hold him back when he has a visionary household idea, such a washing underwear in the dishwasher, or installing a urinal in the bedroom: his wife. The instant he tells her he needs a new TV, she's going to start coming up with nitpicky legalistic arguments like: 'But our current TV works fine!' Or: 'But we bought a new TV yesterday!' Or: 'But we're broke and we live in a homeless shelter!' Women! Always rules by their emotions."