Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"Here are some of the other survival tips from the instructor of Fright School that I wrote down:

If you're going to use and escape rope, try to get some knots in it.

Try to anticipate strikes or blows.

Also, if you're going to get shot, the farther you are from the shooter, the better. I learned that valuable tip during the first-aid section of our training. The instructor began this section by noting that some people are reluctant to attempt first aid. 'But,' he said, 'if your colleague is dying, and you don't do anything, he's going to die, isn't he? And he's not going to thank you, is he?' To which sports columnist Tom Powers replied: 'He's not going to complain either."