The ...yawn....VMA's

Where are Britney and Madonna when you need them?

Now that is something I NEVER would have caught myself asking. But after watching the VMA's last night, that is what I was thinking.

I watched the VMA Awards last night, only because there was nothing else on tv. And, much to my unsurprise, it was boring (yawn). Not only that: it sucked! Shakira, one of the worst singers in the world, performed, and even with all her hip-shaking, it was still lame. That woman cannot sing! She was plain horrible. She is better at dancing. People like her, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline should just put down the microphone and dance. If you're a better singer than dancer, then sing. If you're a better dancer than a singer, then dance for goodness sake, and don't subject our ears to your pitiful wailing.

The Pussycat Dolls (another group I absolutely cannot stand) won the award for best dance video (or some crap like that). They made a speech which was about as long as their song. It is not a Grammy, people. It is a VMA....one of the least prestigious awards out there. Just say thanks and exit the stage. Don't make some long-ass speech thanking everyone and their mother for inspiration, courage, and yadda yadda yadda.

Jack Black, a man who I normally think is funny, hosted the show, but even he could not breathe life into the dull performances and long-boring speeches. Nowadays, when everything is politically-correct and every network lives in fear of the FCC, we all have to endure award shows which offer no surprises, no controversy and little or no humor.

I hate the VMA's because I like hard rock music and lord knows MTV only plays pop and hip hop on their channel. Where did Headbanger's Ball go?? I want that show back. I remember when MTV actually played music, and not these lame-ass shows like Laguna Beach, Next, My Super Sweet Sixteen, and The Hills. They really should change their name to LTV (Lame Television) or something like that. I think Music Television is false advertising.

Anyway, I know they will replay that lame VMA show over and over on MTV for the rest of this month. As if we didn't get enough the first time, or, heaven forbid, someone missed the show! (oh goodness, no!) So if you missed it, don't worry. You will have about 50 more chances to see Shakira shaking her hips and doing her pitiful best to sing.

But a better option would be to just not watch. I still can't get Shakira's screeching out of my head. Someone please help me!

On the bright side, Sarah Silverman was hilarious as she made jokes about Paris Hilton, saying she should lose weight because she can't even see the bones in her back. She should host next year. Silverman in '07, people!