Funny Stuff From Dave Barry

"For all the flaws of America's public toilets, they stand head and shoulders above those of much of the rest of the world. In parts of Europe, when you enter a public restroom, you often find yourself face-to-face with some hideous dripping slime-covered contraption originally built by Vikings out of petrified mastodon bones. And as if that's not scary enough, sometimes there's a lurking 'attendant' who might belong to a completely different gender from yourself, and who expects you to tip her even though it's clear that neither she nor anybody else has ever actually cleaned the restroom, as evidenced by the presence of bacteria the size of wolverines."